Irresponsible SO

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13

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  • wildfirediva
    wildfirediva Posts: 212
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    no joint accounts for personal spending! :)

    Joint account for bill paying only, separate accounts for spending money allowance!

    ^^^^THIS!!!^^^
  • MissyJessy
    MissyJessy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    Check his text messages.

    This. He is clearly cheating!

    how could this NOT be more obvious
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
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    good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...

    THIS

    We (me & the hubs) don't have joint account, nor do we have access to each other's account (mainly because my bank is a &^$&*), but somehow I get left paying almost ALL THE BILLS, while he spends his money on his cars (not flipping mine oh heaven help if something breaks on mine) and tools. Yes, I make 3 times what he does, but really? I have to plan for anything I want for months, while he'll just jump and buy whatever and when ever he wants.

    Trust me - CHANGE IT NOW or he'll just keep going at him (or her). Either talk, show him/her the bills (in like written form or spreadsheet), or every payday, demand they fork over XXXX amount, BUT... show them exactly what bills their money is being applied to. Make the bills relate to something they want/need/desire (cable, internet, electric, etc)

    Also, don't feel bad if you have to make a stand on them NOT getting something. I've had to threaten to toss him out of the house if he purchased some items (like he currently wants a welding machine - WHY????). And when the ONE time he didn't listen - I changed all the passwords to EVERYTHING in the house and had his phone (which is in MY NAME and I PAY) temp shut off.

    He learned I wasn't messing around.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
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    no joint accounts for personal spending! :)

    Joint account for bill paying only, separate accounts for spending money allowance!

    This is what we do and it has worked perfectly for years.
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    good luck..my ex could not control her spending. individual accounts just means he will spend his money and leave you with the bills to pay...

    THIS

    We (me & the hubs) don't have joint account, nor do we have access to each other's account (mainly because my bank is a &^$&*), but somehow I get left paying almost ALL THE BILLS, while he spends his money on his cars (not flipping mine oh heaven help if something breaks on mine) and tools. Yes, I make 3 times what he does, but really? I have to plan for anything I want for months, while he'll just jump and buy whatever and when ever he wants.

    Trust me - CHANGE IT NOW or he'll just keep going at him (or her). Either talk, show him/her the bills (in like written form or spreadsheet), or every payday, demand they fork over XXXX amount, BUT... show them exactly what bills their money is being applied to. Make the bills relate to something they want/need/desire (cable, internet, electric, etc)

    Also, don't feel bad if you have to make a stand on them NOT getting something. I've had to threaten to toss him out of the house if he purchased some items (like he currently wants a welding machine - WHY????). And when the ONE time he didn't listen - I changed all the passwords to EVERYTHING in the house and had his phone (which is in MY NAME and I PAY) temp shut off.

    He learned I wasn't messing around.

    Are you talking about your husband, or your kid? I can't tell.
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
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    Haha, I think I hit a sensitive area! We're married and have been sharing money/expenses for about 6 years. He has spending problems (and he admits to it). I've tried a lot of different tactics. I manage all of our accounts and pay all of the bills. I have a separate savings and credit card he doesn't have access to. We go over the budget religiously, though when he spends irresponsibly I think he's probably not paying any attention to me... We tried a cash allowance, but now it is obvious that when that allowance runs out, he just goes straight to the debit card (our joint acct). Maybe we should go to separate checking accounts. It would be nice to not have to be furious with him about spending my money!
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    Haha, I think I hit a sensitive area! We're married and have been sharing money/expenses for about 6 years. He has spending problems (and he admits to it). I've tried a lot of different tactics. I manage all of our accounts and pay all of the bills. I have a separate savings and credit card he doesn't have access to. We go over the budget religiously, though when he spends irresponsibly I think he's probably not paying any attention to me... We tried a cash allowance, but now it is obvious that when that allowance runs out, he just goes straight to the debit card (our joint acct). Maybe we should go to separate checking accounts. It would be nice to not have to be furious with him about spending my money!

    Yes, hitting him in his sensitive area would do the trick.
  • morielia
    morielia Posts: 169 Member
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    Get rid of the joint accounts. My husband and I don't have joint accounts. We shuffle money between accounts as needed. He's a big boy - I don't need to police his spending, and he doesn't need to police mine. As long as the bills get paid, I don't care if he goes out and spends his last hundred dollars on a binge night at the bar as long as he doesn't come to me asking for money for gas the next day. The money he and I both have left over in our accounts after bills get paid is ours to do with as we each see fit. And we've never had the bills go unpaid.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Stop putting your money into the joint account and get your own account.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    We don't have a joint account and we are married. We have our separate checking, he has a savings account of his own, and I have a savings account opened for our son. But I do make sure the bills are paid and he asks if we can financially do things and it comes out of his account.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    why did you join your accounts
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    why did you join your accounts

    Because they were in love :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    I very briefly had this problem with my wife when we were first married...It was quickly resolved when I canceled the satellite, phone, and internet. Then she started to think...Hmmmmm do I want to shop at friggin Ann Taylor everyday at lunch or would I like to have some creature comforts at home? The last straw was when I didn't pay the trash collection bill and they cut us off. I told her it was no biggie, we could just load it all up every Saturday morning in the trailer and make a dump run...go old school...that pretty much did it and we had a serious sit down to go over the budget.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.

    Or you can close the joint account.


    I always thought that was the source of over spending. LOL


    Aw shaddup for pete's sake, it's a joke!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    why did you join your accounts

    Because they were in love :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

    lulz

    no reason to stop using math
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    Wow we must be crazy. We have had one account and the same account for years. Our argument settler was to just get a budgeting program and have me reconcile the bank every few days. Works great so far. Men seem to just need a concrete limit to follow. That or start using the cash envelope system! And make sure he works with you on the budget so he's not clueless.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    so for gym class the PT wants us to wear something wacky. I immediately thought of getting a elf/santa morph suit.. 39 bucks at Party city.

    told Girlfriend...

    Her remark...

    Yeah ok spend $100 for something u wear once!

    stupid level headed girlfriend.... :laugh: :laugh:
  • WorkoutWarrior76
    WorkoutWarrior76 Posts: 179 Member
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    How do you handle irresponsible spending on the part of your SO? Take this from the point of view of having joint accounts/shared money as well as shared expenses.

    I never encountered that. My wife, God rest her soul, was very very thrifty. Ok she was cheap.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    How do you handle irresponsible spending on the part of your SO? Take this from the point of view of having joint accounts/shared money as well as shared expenses.
    Separate accounts and split the expenses. My wife and I have done this ever since we've been together (we do have a joint savings account together though that we never touch) and have NEVER had a dispute about money.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,692 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.
    Lol, *****ing doesn't work. It just makes men want to be away from the house more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

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