Irresponsible SO

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24

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  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    oh, and my money IS my money. I pay for almost everything (she does not work), but to have a level head reason with choices makes for saving lots of money. Even now, when I tell her that I finally have a savings account, and when I want to splurge, she still puts reality in my head.

    I never EVER been so cautious with money. Thanks babe!
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    I was married for 17 years and the most important thing I learned from living with an irresponsible husband was SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNTS. He had the bills he was supposed to pay (stress on SUPPOSED to) and I had mine. His were all things that I could live without and he couldn't...like cable..... I even learned the hard way that we had to have separate cell phone accounts.
  • diddyk
    diddyk Posts: 269 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    WORD!.. well.. minus the invasionof privacy part.. haha...

    When me and my girl first started dating (4 years ago) she would come to poker games with me and had no problem with how I spent my money. As months passed on, she would make comments of how I spent my money. Yup, I used to get mad, but because of her, I saved over 10 grand by watching what I buy, all do to her *****ing. Like I said, I got mad, but she did get me thinking, do I really need to play that much cards, do I really need a stereo system, and so on. That is why, this Christmas, I was able to make some good decisions, thanks to her...

    That's how we role. I never said anything until we had been dating a while, and he got mad when I first commented, and commented and commented. Now he has a REAL savings account and knows it's because I opened his eyes to his spending.

    ETA: We don't have a joint account, but I have a pretty elaborate excel workbook of our monthly expenses. Rent, groceries etc. He knows he has to give me receipts for groceries etc that he buys. I tally the month and he writes me a cheque. (I pay rent, the biggest portion.)
  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    just break up
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Agree that he should not be in charge of the accounts and should only be on an allowance. M and I have joint and seperate accounts. The joint accounts are only for house hold expenses and nothing personal, our personal accounts are for the personal stuff. We have a budget and we each are responsible for our share of the household expenses dependent on our percentage of total income (my income accounts for 65% of the total household income so I am also responsibile to ensure that I put at least enough money into the joint account to cover 65% of the household budget). Everything else goes into the personal accounts and is used for personal expenses (meals not eaten at home or together, clothes, etc).
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
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    Never share primary bank accounts exclusively. My ex and I had separate accounts (not the reason for the split) and then a third we called the house account. It worked just fine. We each had our own money to spend, each contributed to the house account for major purchases, rent, utilities insurance and such. Cut down on a whole lot of bickering over who spends what amount on what. Of course the OCCAISIONAL loan (with no real expectation for repayement) was exchanged when necessary. Worked for 16 years.

    Of course for this to work there needs to be a two income household
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
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    Whatever you do, don't confront him directly.

    I find subtle methods to be most effective, like sighing loudly and insisting that nothing is wrong, and withholding sex.

    Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:
  • MissyJessy
    MissyJessy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    seperate accounts for personal bills and spending cash, joint bank account for "house bills" rent/insurance/groceries etc and each of you put a percentage in at the begining of each month proportionate to what you make.

    my bestie has this arrangement and has a very happy marriage with no money issues at all they both have their spending cash and bills are always payed.

    I had a joint account with my exhusband.... theres a lot of good reasons he is my ex husband that is a huge one of them
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Why why why WHY would unmarried people have joint bank accounts? You break up, he takes all the money in the joint account. You don't have any way of proving that the money in account was yours. Ergo, you lose all your money.

    Even if you're married you should still have your own money. What a nightmare. Joint account for household expense. Separate accounts for all of your stuff and his stuff. Saves a lot of trouble on stuff. A set amount from each of you goes into the household expense account and whatever else is yours to spend on your own expenses.
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    Whatever you do, don't confront him directly.

    I find subtle methods to be most effective, like sighing loudly and insisting that nothing is wrong, and withholding sex.

    Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:
    you should write a book on your findings \m/
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    Whatever you do, don't confront him directly.

    I find subtle methods to be most effective, like sighing loudly and insisting that nothing is wrong, and withholding sex.

    Hope this helps. :flowerforyou:

    You are obviously married! :wink:
  • PomegranatePriestess
    PomegranatePriestess Posts: 2,455 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    I cannot believe you didn't say "Just break up."

    What is this forum coming to?
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    I think when 2 people are together, their decisions should be what is best for the relationship. Yes it is his money, but what does he do if he needs new tires, or a plane ticket to see a sick family memeber? Because of my girl, I think that just because it is your money doesn't mean that wreckless spending is an OK excuse for if an emergency happens and there are no funds...
  • Dub_D
    Dub_D Posts: 1,760 Member
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    I cannot believe you didn't say "Just break up."

    What is this forum coming to?

    I'M SICK OF ALL THIS PRESSURE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    Just check his online banking frequently and be all like "WTF DID YOU BUY AT CANADIAN TIRE FOR $300.00". he will get sick of your b!tching and learn to be more responsible with money.

    I cannot believe you didn't say "Just break up."

    What is this forum coming to?

    I'M SICK OF ALL THIS PRESSURE, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. SORRY I'M NOT PERFECT.

    just BREAK up with Pom :laugh:

    all is well... you can all carry on now
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    You should spend even more, so he knows what it feels like.
  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
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    Check his text messages.

    This. He is clearly cheating!
  • klacount77
    klacount77 Posts: 270 Member
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    Slowly chemically castrate him...then when he's sleeping weave what's left of his *kitten* into a vagina. That makes the most sense.

    Or you can close the joint account.

    AGREED! Yes, it does ... and it works really really well ... until you start to miss his penis, but there are stores for that.
    LOL
  • MissyJessy
    MissyJessy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    Why why why WHY would unmarried people have joint bank accounts? You break up, he takes all the money in the joint account. You don't have any way of proving that the money in account was yours. Ergo, you lose all your money.

    Even if you're married you should still have your own money. What a nightmare. Joint account for household expense. Separate accounts for all of your stuff and his stuff. Saves a lot of trouble on stuff. A set amount from each of you goes into the household expense account and whatever else is yours to spend on your own expenses.

    lots of people with joint accounts before marriage also have a " EFF YOU" account

    where you hide and store money :laugh:

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