Rude comment from a coworker

SoDamnHungry

That's a bitter woman.

People always feel comfortable commenting on my weight. It's stressful.

MurphysLawTD

First of all, you look absolutely fabulous and it's blatently obvious she's just jealous.

I had a couple heavier women in my office offer me cookies today and I just said, "No, thank you" and they were like "Ooo, miss skinny minny over there is the only one who CAN have them." Um...WTF is that supposed to mean? I wanted to say, "And you CAN have a salad!" :laugh:

yoovie

Its best to use these moment to motivate you to get up and go workout or change a habit, but you can totally use it as a reason to waste time chatting on the internet too lol

whichever is more productive!!! :drinker:

LowcarbNY

She said, "Of course not size 2."

Of course it was rude, and it hurt you because it brought back painful memories. You heard rudeness. I hear envy. It probably won't help but rude size 20 probably has her share of pain over being size 20 and not being able to have the tremendous success that you achieved.

Some folks want to level the playing field by bring the achievers down. The world is a better place if we cheer them on and try to follow in their footsteps.

cynthiaj777

I just read a thread about someone being made fun of for being large. That sucks. I've been at that end too. I teach middle school and when I was 100 pounds heavier a student asked me, "How's the diet soda workin' for you?" as I walked by him in the hallway carrying a can of diet pepsi. I went into my classroom and started crying.

Yesterday I had someone say something rude because I made a choice to become a healthier person. In a staff meeting someone brought holiday cookies and they got passed around. I took the plate and passed it to the next person. She said, "Of course not size 2." That hurt just as much as the "fat" comment if not more because A. I used to be her size (a women's 20) B. She is an adult and not an immature 13 year old, and C. I worked damn hard for 3 years to get this way. I can't post pictures from work, but I have pictures in my profile. The one of me in the pink shirt with my kids is me at 232.4 pounds. I am currently 128.8 pounds.

Just a rant. But damn....really?!

Yep. This happens to me ALL the time. Every time I am heating up my lunch in the kitchen at work, I get some comment about my food. "You always eat so healthy. "You only eat chicken and vegetables?" " Wow, that's a lot of vegetables!"

Or when there is bad food around, it is comments like, "You know Cynthia won't eat that." "Don't offer any to Cynthia, she doesn't eat that stuff." "I know you don't eat this kind of stuff...." "YOU DON'T LIKE PIE?" "You are always eating so healthy."

Or just random comments in general: "How many times do you go to the gym a week?" "You look skinny today."

LIKE OMFG PEOPLE.....why are you SOOOO interested in my life? Get the hell over it. I don't comment on your f**king pizza for lunch or your saddle bags in your work pants OR your LACK of working out!!!!!

I don't see anything wrong with those comments. Maybe they're just wondering what you did and want to try it. @ OP I would just ignore it because the person obviously is scoffing at what they think is your naturally thin figure or jealous of your success.

Nope. If they wanted to know, they'd ask me how I keep my figure. Not always commenting on what I'm eating or how I don't eat things. And they don't say these things "nicely," it is with disgust in their voice and face.

laurie62ann

You look amazing! Your inspiration!

Stupid Mean People Suck end of story! Be proud of yourself, your body, and your choices! At the end of the day you have to live with yourself!

geekpryncess

Maybe later on you should hand her a card with the website address of MFP in it, and a pic of you when you were her size. Tell her you understand how she feels and that her comment hurt you. But you were once heavy, and you got to where you are, because you learned the self-control TO PASS THE DAMN COOKIES!!! LOL

I am right at that phase where I am realizing I have to learn that self-control if I want to get to where you are now. I'd never make a comment like that out loud but I do admit I've thought it!! It boils down to jealousy and insecurity. All us fat women want to be skinny. And we envy the skinny women because they have what we want It never hurts someone like her to have piece of humble pie though. Especially if she's bitter enough about her size to make a comment like that out loud....

Sugarhiccup03

Just ignore her. That sounds like jealousy speaking to me. You look great and achieved that with willpower and hard work. She obviously hasn't been able to commit to that and feels the need try to tear down others who have.

MoreBean13

The woman is insecure about her own choice to take a cookie when healthy-weight people around her aren't eating cookies. It sucks that you get the blowback of her insecurities, but that's all it is. People suck, and 90+% of comments people make about you are really reflections of how they feel about themselves. If you try to see it from that perspective, maybe it won't feel so harsh next time (b/c there will always be a next time, unfortunately). Do you, girl. You look fantastic.

susanswan

The woman is insecure about her own choice to take a cookie when healthy-weight people around her aren't eating cookies. It sucks that you get the blowback of her insecurities, but that's all it is. People suck, and 90+% of comments people make about you are really reflections of how they feel about themselves. If you try to see it from that perspective, maybe it won't feel so harsh next time (b/c there will always be a next time, unfortunately). Do you, girl. You look fantastic.

I like your common sense approach to a touchy subject. I'd be boiling mad, too and would want to hurt her personal feelings with a smart remark about her size back, but the fall out would be on everyone else in the room who is also heavy. Don't worry, as they say, "Living well is the best revenge!" You've added years and years to your life. Save your cookies for her, and slip her a note, "I thought you might like to have these." That is pleasant, right? = D You are awesome! Keep up the good work! To OP, not the cookie monitor.

BinaryPulsar

I don't have anything more to add, just want to say that these are some really great responses on here. And yeah, we've all had experiences like these of various kinds, so you are not alone. I just feel all the more appreciative when I encounter really healthy, well adjusted people. Everyone has problems and issues, some people just deal with it in healthier ways.

metaphoria

It's hard to respond in those situations, but a simple "That was rude and uncalled for." usually shuts them up and places the shame they wanted you to wear squarely on their shoulders.

5stringjeff

cynthiaj777

CUTE!

astrampe

You have to grow some thicker skin and consider the source. The diet soda comment probably hurt so much because you realised they were right, even if they were mean. On the other hand, why are you offended by someone commenting on you not eating their cookies?

This...Don't know why a stupid comment like that would be hurtfull...but maybe I just have a thick skin.....

Madholm

She chooses to be that way, you choose to not.

(You should take it as a complement; you have a tight body)

susanswan

It's hard to respond in those situations, but a simple "That was rude and uncalled for." usually shuts them up and places the shame they wanted you to wear squarely on their shoulders.

Why is something so delightfully apt like this so hard to come up with when surprised? I'm practicing it right now for a multitude of opportunities that I missed using it over my lifetime! Thanks for pointing out the obvious! One time a female co worker was standing right next to me and said, "You have a big butt." I still regret not saying, "well you have a black moustache." But still like your statement better. Yes, it is true, I did HAVE a big butt, but it was still "rude and uncalled for". "Look at my size 4 @$$ now! Betcha your mustache is still there!"

sportyredhead01

I think you look fantastic!!!!!!
Kudos for you and all your hard work.:flowerforyou:

She was just probably jealous. I don't understand how people (i.e. women) can be so brutally *****y.
No wonder *we* get a bad rap..lol.

VeloRat1969

It's hard to respond in those situations, but a simple "That was rude and uncalled for." usually shuts them up and places the shame they wanted you to wear squarely on their shoulders.

Why is something so delightfully apt like this so hard to come up with when surprised? (snip)

I have great luck with basically just agreeing with the statement without rancor. The "of course not miss size 2..." comment would get a friendly, "Of course not." back from me. The big butt comment would get "Yes, I do" back from me.

The trick is to smile while you say it, keep the sarcasm out of your own voice and let it hang in the air a bit.

Wow! That's a lot of vegetables! - Yes it is...

You always eat so healthy! - Yes, I do...

ErinRibbens

Well, I think you look amazing!!! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off.