Rude comment from a coworker
Replies
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Remember Kate Moss's Motto? 'Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels'
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You have to grow some thicker skin and consider the source. The diet soda comment probably hurt so much because you realised they were right, even if they were mean. On the other hand, why are you offended by someone commenting on you not eating their cookies?
Why should the op get a thicker skin, the kid who made the diet soda comment should get some manners! The same for the lady who commented when you didn't take the cookie, learn some manners!
We all know it takes guts and grit to do what we are all doing, changing our attitudes towards food and adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes activity and exercise, and most of us have endured thoughtless comments whether we were "too big" or "too skinny" at one time or another, I for one will not put up with these types of comments towards me anymore! We must love ourselves and stand up for ourselves, so others will respect us as well. By telling the op to get a thicker skin we are condoning that type of rude, thoughtless behaviour instead of trying to stop it. Bullying of any sort will never stop until we stand up to the bullies!!!!!!!!0 -
It sounds like they envy you. Woohoo!
haters are gonna hate. Just keep kicking *kitten*. You're not doing this for them anyways. Congrats on your success.0 -
After looking at your pictures, I'd have to say that person is jelous of you. You look great!! Awesome work!!!0
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when i lost 70 lbs 6 yrs ago I reported 2 girls to my HR dept for harassment because their compliments turned into an everyday comment about how i was starting to look anorexic..I was far from looking anorexic. I just didnt look like Violet Beauregarde after chewing the 3 course meal gum at the chocolate factory any more..lol
LMAO @ Violet Beauregarde reference... sorry... too funny...0 -
Hey, you passed up those "Fat pills", and you also had the grace and good upbringing to not say something mean back to her. Good for you! As for the rude kids... it's our culture nowadays. They think that cruelty in the guise of 'wit' is acceptable.
Keep your head up, lady! You're doing great! Embrace the life you've earned.0 -
I don't get a lot of comments about my size and even now when I do they're not usually problematic. However, I have dealt with my share of intrusive coworkers, relatives and acquaintances. I am generally not a "nice" person, but I find with matters of body, food and self image - particularly as it relates to women - I feel much better when I am kind in the face of their upsetting comments. Tossing back a snarky comment or shade tends to make the recipient feel their rude comment justified. When people say *****y things I often ask what about my behavior/appearance/etc is most upsetting to them. When you turn back on them most often you'll find they are:
1) unaware of how ignorant they sound
2) embarrassed to have the spotlight turned back on them and are deflecting that embarrassment or shame on you
Even if they are just a horrible person, which has nothing to do with their size (they'd be that way regardless), you don't have to take on their dramz. That's basically what is meant by "having thicker skin". Obviously it won't work in every case, though I haven't observed a situation where it didn't stop a person cold.0 -
oh yeah, I got offended when someone said they were going to buy me a cheeseburger so I don't blow away...really? wtf!
Hahahha! I once got told to "eat a cheeseburger"...I thought she was calling me fat...but my initial response was "IM A VEGETARIAN!!!"
lol
but actually, the person who said people will say things like "don't offer that to her, she doesn't eat that" I get that all the time for beign a vegetarian and I never thought people were being rude. They were just being honest/helpful. Now if the same thing happens with cake, I don't feel offended. Or I might say "actually, I'm doing my long run tonight so I could use the carbs! Hand me a slice!"0 -
just as with all people i try to err on the side of kindness. things you dont mean to sounds super bad can be interpreted that way.
I always had kids just tell me how straight up ugly i was or that i should go get liposuction. things like that.0 -
when i lost 70 lbs 6 yrs ago I reported 2 girls to my HR dept for harassment because their compliments turned into an everyday comment about how i was starting to look anorexic..I was far from looking anorexic. I just didnt look like Violet Beauregarde after chewing the 3 course meal gum at the chocolate factory any more..lol
LMAO @ Violet Beauregarde reference... sorry... too funny...
no need for sorry.it is way funny now
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You have to grow some thicker skin and consider the source. The diet soda comment probably hurt so much because you realised they were right, even if they were mean. On the other hand, why are you offended by someone commenting on you not eating their cookies?
Why should the op get a thicker skin, the kid who made the diet soda comment should get some manners! The same for the lady who commented when you didn't take the cookie, learn some manners!
We all know it takes guts and grit to do what we are all doing, changing our attitudes towards food and adopting a healthy lifestyle that includes activity and exercise, and most of us have endured thoughtless comments whether we were "too big" or "too skinny" at one time or another, I for one will not put up with these types of comments towards me anymore! We must love ourselves and stand up for ourselves, so others will respect us as well. By telling the op to get a thicker skin we are condoning that type of rude, thoughtless behaviour instead of trying to stop it. Bullying of any sort will never stop until we stand up to the bullies!!!!!!!!
Not condoning the comments but if you think you're going to stop stupid but in some cases well meaning comments I wish you luck.0 -
Meh, try not to worry about your coworker's comment too much. Yes, it was a little insensitive, but she might not have meant to hurt your feelings (especially if she didn't know of your past struggles with weight) and could have just meant it as a playful joke. I have had people make similar comments about my weight, but most of the time they were just kidding around and not trying to make me feel bad. Besides, I just take it as a compliment because I do work hard now by exercising and trying to maintain my weight healthily.0
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It's hard to respond in those situations, but a simple "That was rude and uncalled for." usually shuts them up and places the shame they wanted you to wear squarely on their shoulders.
Why is something so delightfully apt like this so hard to come up with when surprised? (snip)
I have great luck with basically just agreeing with the statement without rancor. The "of course not miss size 2..." comment would get a friendly, "Of course not." back from me. The big butt comment would get "Yes, I do" back from me.
The trick is to smile while you say it, keep the sarcasm out of your own voice and let it hang in the air a bit.
Wow! That's a lot of vegetables! - Yes it is...
You always eat so healthy! - Yes, I do...
I usually just say "thank you!"
Seriously, we can't control other people. We can only control how we respond and react to them. By this, I don't mean just verbal responses but our interior thoughts and feelings as well.
If we let someone's stupid or insensitive remark impact our mood, emotions, and effect how well the rest of our day goes, we've let them win and have a power over us that they don't deserve. I refuse to let others have power over me.
So I just say "thank you!" and forget about it, totally moving on to enjoying a glorious day.0 -
"of course not size 2!"
reply: "yes ma'am. That's how it works."
I like this one.0 -
Jealous much? Sorry that you have to deal with such stupidity from an "adult". I scoped your pictures and OMG you should be so proud! You have done an absolutely amazing job!!!0
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Should have just told her "You can enjoy mine for me....I enjoy making healthy decisions in my life since I got tired of being fat"0
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People are A*holes. Brush it off as expected and keep up your revenge AKA success0
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Should have just told her "You can enjoy mine for me....I enjoy making healthy decisions in my life since I got tired of being fat"
LOL I like this too!0 -
Dust them haterz off.
THIS!!!!!0 -
I would have told that person "Don't hate on me because I'm a size 2. Hate yourself because you're not." the other I would say " "Pretty damn good actually." and hold my head up high with a smile. Haters are going to hate. Sometimes it's good to have a witty comeback. I know it hurts to get publicly talked down to. Best of luck to ya.0
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Thank you to everyone who had kind words to say. I was just frustrated because I felt like as people said, "You're damned if you do and damned if you don't". My coworker has seen me at both ends of the spectrum of my weight journey and in theory knows how hard I've worked to lose over 100 pounds.
I have a lot of great friends at MFP and felt that people here would understand because so many of you have gone through it yourselves. (Both the large and the small) Some people would say "Quit your whining", but here people know that it is just plain rude to make a comment about someone's weight when not made in a positive way. "Fat" or "skinny"....can't we all just get along? I know that I can't control other people and my "reaction" was to come here and vent with my MFP community.
Again, thanks to everyone for making me feel better.0 -
Tell them if I wanted to look like you, I would eat like you.
I read this as, "Tell them if I wanted to look like you, I would eat you."
LMAO. Oh man.0 -
I often get from two coworkers, such as today "eww what are you eating". "That looks so gross (while pointing to my salad with guacomole, egg, carrots, and cucumbers). Why would you buy that in a package (guacomole 100 calorie). While she eats her daily frozen pizza and package of candy number 3 oh did I mention she had two donuts too this a.m...
I hear it from so called friends: "I would never count my calories, that just sounds like so much trouble. You got to live a little. Why do you take all those vitamins no wonder you don't eat" (I do eat all the time about 5 small meals a day around 1600 calories total). Why would you ever run all those miles you are nuts, you never do anything any more (regarding my half marathon training because I can not hang out with you tonight and drink and eat lots of junk, woohoo sounds like so much fun - not).
Now I never ask people what they think about my foods or my intake of vitamins. This is something they notice and decide to comment about. Sometimes I will talk to people who ask "how do you stay in shape" etc. and I happen to give that information in front of others which I guess gives them a cue to comment rudely about.
It is awful because I hear more of this from other women. Some women like to belittle others instead of lifting them up.
But let me tell you these people that comment rudely have all one thing in common they are not healthy, have no desire to be healthy, and they are rude so they just do not get it. Their parents did not teach them any manners and they love to comment about everything negatively or how they would do something or how they do not like something. They have the syndrome "it is all about me". Just spend very little time with negative folks like this! To be healthy is a life style change as well as a change of people who you surround yourself with.
Good luck everyone!! May the rest of your year be filled with health and positive thoughts!
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I agree..0
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