What to tell your kids when you buy Christmas?

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gaylynn35
gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
in Chit-Chat
I meant to say, "when you can't buy Christmas".

I need some suggestions please: So, just what do you tell your kids, when they are getting nothing for Christmas? This is a first for me, so I have no idea what or how to tell them.

I have a 14 year old and an 8 year old. They are not used to this. This is the first time ever that I am unable to buy them anything they want for Christmas.
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  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    I really need some suggestions here.
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
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    They aren't getting ANYTHING or they aren't getting what you think they want?
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    They are only getting one gift each from my older daughter.
  • DamnImASexyBitch
    DamnImASexyBitch Posts: 740 Member
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    Your financial situation can't be that big of a shock to them since I'm assuming they must see you struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis if you can't afford Christmas for them. I'd probably just be honest with them. Does the younger one believe in Santa still? Is there anyway you can maybe call your park district, or local charity/church/ect for some type of assistance?
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
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    Not to be rude but i wouldnt of let it happen. When we use to celebrate Christmas (we do Hanukkah now) there were many holidays we had no money due to unemployment and there ARE many resources for help. Toys 4 Tots, Food Pantries, Churches, Salvation Army, etc. One year they brought us a tree even!

    Youre too late now for help (unless you get lucky posting on Craigslist) but id go to the Goodwill if you can get any money together and maybe buy an outfit or small toy.
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    Not to be rude but i wouldnt of let it happen. When we use to celebrate Christmas (we do Hanukkah now) there were many holidays we had no money due to unemployment and there ARE many resources for help. Toys 4 Tots, Food Pantries, Churches, Salvation Army, etc. One year they brought us a tree even!

    Youre too late now for help (unless you get lucky posting on Craigslist) but id go to the Goodwill if you can get any money together and maybe buy an outfit or small toy.

    It's not like I let it happen. We are what I call "The working class poor" and only have money to pay our bills and at times they are paid late. Those resources will only help you if you are already on public assistance, and we do not qualify for public assistance. I will try going to goodwill or will maybe hit the dollar stores to try to find something.

    Thanks for your suggestions!
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    Your financial situation can't be that big of a shock to them since I'm assuming they must see you struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis if you can't afford Christmas for them. I'd probably just be honest with them. Does the younger one believe in Santa still? Is there anyway you can maybe call your park district, or local charity/church/ect for some type of assistance?

    Yes the little one still believes in Santa. We make too much money to get any kind of assistance. The working class poor: as in we are only able to pay our day to day bills and pay some of them late as well.

    Thanks for your time to reply.
  • HannahsBestLife
    HannahsBestLife Posts: 209 Member
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    I really don't know how to reply to this :( I feel for you, this must be very stressful!! But the only alternative would be if you did actually buy them gifts and then you spend the next couple months even more stressed trying to catch up on bills etc so no need to feel bad or anything :)

    My only advice to you is to remind yourself that Christmas isn't about the gifts, Plan your Christmas day with lots of family activities that you know your children love, Play board games with them, Go to park for a game of soccer, include them when you do some baking,

    Present's or not, there's no reason why this can't be the best Christmas ever!! :D

    xx
  • HannahsBestLife
    HannahsBestLife Posts: 209 Member
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    Oh and maybe let your 14yr know what's going on, you don't want him/her waking up on christmas expecting present's and being disapointed.
  • pumalama
    pumalama Posts: 140 Member
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    Maybe you can write each of them a nice letter telling how much you love them, make some cookies in a box or write a coupon for a visit to the park or for some other activity together? Even a small Christmas chocolate would probably do. Dollar store crafts or toys are great. Go to the good will stores too, I always find stuff for less than a dollar, they have books, toys, clothes, etc. If you want to get more time to look for more options, you can maybe tell them that this year the gifts are coming on January 1rst because the North Pole has not finished wrapping gifts on time.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    When my birthday or Christmas rolled around when I was younger, this tended to happen a lot. Most of my presents would come from my extended family, which I am fortunate enough to be very close with but my mom would always be very sad and hard on herself that she couldn't get me all that much. Having raised me as a single parent, finances would go up and down, but mostly stay on the 'down' side of things, especially when I grew to develop clinical major depression and needed more and more of her time, leading her to quit her job and go on welfare.

    I remember one year she comes downstairs with this sad look in her eyes and passes me a fake, perfumed rose she'd bought at a drugstore, I think. It was probably one of the best presents I'd ever gotten. It assured me I'd never be forgotten and it only cost her a buck.
    Christmas is about family and I appreciated the time spent with her more than anything.

    Unless your kids are spoiled rotten beasts, which I doubt, they'll understand. You have to make do with your financial situation and sometimes, gifts just aren't in the repertoire. Maybe make an extra special breakfast if you can and then sit them down at the table and talk to them about it? "It's been a pretty rough year and we've been struggling" sort of thing. Maybe do a family craft day instead and give each other what you make!

    Good luck, I hope things are better next year. c:
  • MrsAgi
    MrsAgi Posts: 338 Member
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    Buy them a 2nd hand something from a charity shop or school fayre etc - my local ones have toys starting from about 10p (12 cents?) Which pretty much anyone can find just once a year! Or make something if you're talented that way. Even if you just revamp an old dress and wrap it up, put SOME kind of present in their hands on xmas day...
  • crazy4lulu
    crazy4lulu Posts: 822 Member
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    you tell them the truth. but make the day extra special. like something they will remember for the rest of their lives. so someday Gaylynn, they can be sitting around saying.... remember the time at christmas mom and dad made it so wonderful by ....... that was the best. and they will. i grew up in a house that couldnt afford gifts at christmas... but what made it so special was the and now i am dating myself.... my dad would take out the home movies and we would watch them listening to christmas music on the records... oh my goodness im old. just make it special is what im trying to say!!!!! they are good kids...they will understand!!!!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!!!
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Just spend the day with them and make it about family. Make cookies, or have them do crafts. Construction paper and crayons can't be that expensive. Like a lot of people here mentioned go to the dollar store and buy some small things or get them some kind of candy. And be honest with them about it as well. Kids will surprise you at how understanding they can be in difficult situations.
  • gerripho
    gerripho Posts: 479 Member
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    Whatever you decide to do, please include an explanation appropriate for their ages. My parents were often in that situation when I was young. An explanation would have been much nicer than the things I was imagening in my young head. There are many suggestions above. Next thing to do is set aside just $2 per month for the year. That's a bit less than 50 cents a week. That will give you $24 to spend next year. If you can manage $1 per week, you will have $52 in a year.
  • Kristen_nicole95
    Kristen_nicole95 Posts: 112 Member
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    Like everyone else is saying, do things together that day. Take them out to the park, or out on a hike, or cook a meal and treats together. Make it a day about being together instead of a day about getting presents. If you have a park with a lake or a river get some bread and feed the ducks, i'm sure your 8 year old would love that!
  • JacksMom12
    JacksMom12 Posts: 1,044 Member
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    My husband works crazy hours and I have two jobs. We don't have cable, fancy things, and barely scrape by each month. I know how stressful it is. We sometimes eat ramen noodles the whole week that rent is due. My husband and I started budgeting money away 3 months ago in anticipation for Christmas. I mean, 5 bucks here and there adds up. We also both picked up extra shifts for the last two weeks. My second job sucks and pays mInimum wage but whatever, do what you have to. I just have a hard time believing you couldn't have planned a little better.
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    Do you belong to a church? If so, let someone there know you're struggling and cannot provide even one gift for your kids. You'd be shocked at what a church will do to help. Even if you don't belong, maybe call a local church and tell them anyway. Ask for help. There are always people willing to help, you just have to let them know you need it.

    When I was a kid, one year we didn't have any money. There were 4 of us kids, ages 11-16 or so. Someone from our church put an envelope in our mailbox with cash in it. We each got a gift from that, and we bought gifts for another family that needed help too. That year showed me what Christmas is about - helping your neighbors, sharing gifts, love, and kindness.

    Good luck to you and your family.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    http://www.gpuc.org
    http://www.gptx.org/index.aspx?page=609
    http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=Grand Prairie&state=TX (these are organizations that help the poor, not just the homeless)

    If you belong to a church, approach them for help as well.

    If you had prepared them for this ahead of time, I'd say just try to make the best of it, but you haven't said anything and it's 3 days before they wake up to nothing without any warning. I think you should suck it up, and ask for help from anyone who's willing to listen to your story. This is the time of year when people actually want to help, and they want to help people they can tell really need it.
  • AnneC77
    AnneC77 Posts: 284
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    One year, I was so broke. My kids Father and I split and so I was expected to do it all alone. I never had any financial help from my kids Father and so I was depressed. I felt so guilty. I literally managed to buy my kids 2 or 3 gifts (cheap ones) and I tried to get together a decent Christmas dinner. It (in my opinion) was a poor excuse for a Christmas (excuse the pun). That year we spent a lot of time playing old games, exploring their old toys and watching TV. We watched a lot of different versions of 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles ****ens. Scrooged, Muppets, Christmas Carol and a few more. That night I was quiet and sombre and my kids came and sat on my lap and asked what was wrong. I explained that I didn't have a lot of money, that their father didn't too and so I felt bad that their Christmas was not that great and I got the biggest surprise of my life! My son who was seven at the time hugged me and smiled. He stated that he had the best Christmas ever as we played and had a good dinner and my daugter who was nine agreed eagerly and finished with saying, "anyway Christmas is not about presents, it's about being with Family and feeling grateful for what we have, there are worse off people than us and we are lucky to have you." I had never felt so proud, humbled or honoured to have been their Mother and even now the Christmas message is still held in their hearts.

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