Don't get too fit or you can be fired!

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Replies

  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,628 Member
    figures ..... she gets fired cuz he can't keep his *kitten* together ..... bleh .....
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    It's very much the opposite where I work.

    I work with a lot of older women. And they all seem to like it when I wear tight clothing. In fact they've started to request it. They make comments when I'm at the water cooler. Some of the supervisors call me into their office.. and make me shut the door.



    Sometimes at night... I cry.

    I just busted out laughing :laugh:
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    I for one, applaud the Iowa Supreme Court for standing up for marriage/families.

    What a load of rubbish. What about the marriage and family of ms Nelson who now has no job.

    Nowhere has there been any evidence she dressed provocatively, only that the dentist and his wife didn't trust him.if she was jealous of their friendship why didn't she do more to befriend ms Nelson.

    Exactly! She wore scrubs. Most of the time they wear layers of clothing because scrubs are hardly warm. I used to wear a long sleeved top under my scrubs top. Considering they are in Utah I"m betting she had layers of clothing. Most dentists I've worked with had their wife work in the office and if they didn't they were having something going on with the hygienist or other staff. He can't control himself. Its not the assistants fault. I could tell you stories of some Dentists I've worked for in the past.
  • katy84o
    katy84o Posts: 744 Member
    if anything what I gather from the article is that he has a problem with sexual harassment and is guilty of it at his workplace.. that is just me though.

    That's what I got out of it. He also had sent her a text message at one point asking about orgasms. That's what I read in the article I saw. Also, she was a dental assistant, don't they wear scrubs. Not saying that scrubs can't be revealing if wearing them to tight, but come on.

    Firing someone because you are concerned that you can't keep it in your pants is pathetic. Also, he was very arrogant to think that he would have an affair with her if she wasn't fired. <-- Another thing I read in one of the articles.
  • RosscoBoscko
    RosscoBoscko Posts: 632 Member
    What I take out of that is this: Don't wear tight and/or revealing clothing to work.

    THIS^^

    Where does it say she wore revealing clothing to work. And defjne difference between tight and fitting. Since I have started to lose weight I now have more confidence to wear shirts and suits which now fit to my shape rather than being baggy to hide it . they're not tight to be revealing their tighter as they now fit and look smarter that way.

    It's in the second paragraph.

    No it isn't.

    "Melissa Nelson, a 32-year-old married mother of two, had worked for James Knight for 10 years, and he considered her a stellar worker. But in the final months of her employment, he complained that her tight clothing was distracting -- once telling her that if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing."

    As I said no evidence that her clothing was too revealing, just that he is a pervert. only person to claim that her colthing is revealing is him, not customers etc, not even the wife. her issue was friendship.
  • RosscoBoscko
    RosscoBoscko Posts: 632 Member
    Seriously am shocked at the number of women defending the wife and particularly the dentist here.

    Outdated chauvinist rubbish. She was fired for being an attractive, stellar worker, married mother of 2 who thought she was friends with a colleague. Clearly totally deserving of losing her job.......seriously not.
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member

    Seriously? If this guy can't control himself, how is getting rid of one attractive woman from his life going to save his marriage? Would you want to stay married to a man who had zero self control? It is HIS responsibility to not cheat on his wife, it's not the responsibility of women to protect him from himself.

    If you want to be in a committed relationship, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to stay committed and faithful.

    How is this different from throwing out all the tempting food when you are trying to lose weight?

    Oooh...this is an interesting thought!

    Because food and people are two entirely different things and anyone who doesn't get that is lacking in some pretty significant ways.

    THANK YOU! You beat me to it! Just because this is a calorie counting site doesn't mean we have to compare everything to food. Food and people...not the same thing. Heads out of a$$es....please and thank you.

    And perhaps right to work laws are legal. I misspoke because I assumed from a basic moral perspective that you shouldn't be able to fire someone for wanting to *kitten* them. My bad. Keep in mind though that morality and legality are not the same thing. I'd think the "save the family" types on here would be screaming that from the rooftops given their assumed opinions on abortion. Go figure.
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    Seriously am shocked at the number of women defending the wife and particularly the dentist here.

    Outdated chauvinist rubbish. She was fired for being an attractive, stellar worker, married mother of 2 who thought she was friends with a colleague. Clearly totally deserving of losing her job.......seriously not.

    You'd be surprised the number of women that support gender inequality in its most subtle forms. Perhaps it's coming from a feminist background, but when I see people saying things like "She shouldn't have worn that because it gave him a boner" all I see are the gender equivalents of black white supremacists. It drives me nuts!
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    And perhaps right to work laws are legal. I misspoke because I assumed that from a basic moral perspective that you shouldn't be able to fire someone for wanting to *kitten* them. My bad. Keep in mind though that morality and legality are not the same thing. I'd think the "save the family" types on here would be screaming that from the rooftops given their assumed opinions on abortions. Go figure.

    Touche. I wonder how this would have played out were the boss a WOMAN, say an up and coming power-head CEO who had fired a young and well-to-do mail messenger because she found him too attractive.

    With the stigma of women not supposing to have a sex drive at all, I'm sure many of these "He did it to save the family!" types would be screaming "SLUT!"
  • justal313
    justal313 Posts: 1,375 Member

    Seriously? If this guy can't control himself, how is getting rid of one attractive woman from his life going to save his marriage? Would you want to stay married to a man who had zero self control? It is HIS responsibility to not cheat on his wife, it's not the responsibility of women to protect him from himself.

    If you want to be in a committed relationship, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to stay committed and faithful.

    How is this different from throwing out all the tempting food when you are trying to lose weight?

    Oooh...this is an interesting thought!

    Because food and people are two entirely different things and anyone who doesn't get that is lacking in some pretty significant ways.

    THANK YOU! You beat me to it! Just because this is a calorie counting site doesn't mean we have to compare everything to food. Food and people...not the same thing. Heads out of a$$es....please and thank you.

    And perhaps right to work laws are legal. I misspoke because I assumed that from a basic moral perspective that you shouldn't be able to fire someone for wanting to *kitten* them. My bad. Keep in mind though that morality and legality are not the same thing. I'd think the "save the family" types on here would be screaming that from the rooftops given their assumed opinions on abortions. Go figure.

    However, I think that throwing out tempting food is just as ludicrous as firing someone because you are attracted to them. You should have some control and not eat all the "bad" food in your house in one sitting.

    You should also have more respect for your marriage than to have an affair or you should seek counselling/an attorney. Also food has no choice but to be eaten. Who is to say just because he wanted to have an affair, she would. If I learned anything in high school, I know it doesn't work that way.
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
    That said, this dentist sounds like a total creeper and if I'm sure he's sexually harassed plenty of women. He should probably be thrown in jail.

    :drinker:
  • hypotrochoid
    hypotrochoid Posts: 842 Member
    While I am troubled that someone was fired for being hot... Totally uncool. IF your mode of dress is not appropriate for the workplace you need to update your professional attire.

    I always took my earring out when I was working.
    I wore a tie if the professional attire/dress code at work called for it (and I HATE wearing a tie)
    I wore dress shoes instead of sneakers if that was the norm.

    It was my job, and it was 40 hours a week. Then I went home put on Jeans, my earring and leather jacket and went out and spent the money I earned by working in a professional setting.

    Thankfully I work in IT now and I can wear jeans and sneakers. I've long since stopped wearing an earring.

    and...


    Seriously? If this guy can't control himself, how is getting rid of one attractive woman from his life going to save his marriage? Would you want to stay married to a man who had zero self control? It is HIS responsibility to not cheat on his wife, it's not the responsibility of women to protect him from himself.

    If you want to be in a committed relationship, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to stay committed and faithful.

    How is this different from throwing out all the tempting food when you are trying to lose weight?

    Oooh...this is an interesting thought!

    That tub of cookie dough isn't a person who is affected by my actions? There isn't much of an issue of consent with foodstuffs. Also, getting sexy with a tub of cookie dough is not a betrayal of my marriage vows.
  • joseph9
    joseph9 Posts: 328 Member
    Fox got the summary wrong. (So did every other paper I saw).

    The issue was whether firing someone because your spouse is jealous of them counts as gender discrimination as defined in the law. The dentist admitted that the assistant was a great worker and person, but his wife had demanded that he fire her. (There was no affair, but the dentist and assistant did text each other a lot).

    As the Iowa Sup Ct wrote, there have been several cases of this around the country, which basically break down into two groups: (1) employee and boss have consensual affair, and spouse demands that boss fire employee as a condition of staying together; and (2) employee doesn't do anything wrong, but boss's spouse demands that he/she be fired anyway out of jealousy.

    The court wrote that the firing was "unfair," but the question was whether it was ILLEGAL - i.e., whether the employee had been fired because she was a woman, or for some other reason. (If your boss fires you because of a completely unfair but not legally protected reason, like she's having a bad day or hates Steeler fans, you can't sue unless you have a contract that forbids it; but if she fires you for a protected reason, like she hates the disabled, then you can sue).

    For what it's worth, I think this SHOULD qualify as gender discrimination, but Fox should get the case right.

    http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf
  • RosscoBoscko
    RosscoBoscko Posts: 632 Member
    But she clearly was fired for being a woman. no other way to interpret it. if she was a male assistant the wife wouldnt have been worried about an affair and he wouldnt have made the lewd comments.
  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
    So because he's skeazy and can't control himself, this woman was fired??
    WTF? How is this justice???
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
    http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/12/27/yelp-users-slam-dentist-who-fired-his-assistant-for-being-irresistible/?test=latestnews

    Some quotes from the article:

    "Melissa Nelson, a 32-year-old married mother of two, had worked for James Knight for 10 years, and he considered her a stellar worker. But in the final months of her employment, he complained that her tight clothing was distracting -- once telling her that if his pants were bulging that was a sign her clothes were too revealing, according to the Supreme Court opinion."

    and

    "On Dec. 21, the court ruled 7-0 that bosses can fire employees they see as an "irresistible attraction," even if the employees have not engaged in flirtatious behavior or otherwise done anything wrong."

    As long as it applies to men too. So if I'm a female boss/supervisor, I can fire my employee because he's too hot, then go sleep with him right? Got it. :noway:
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    Fox got the summary wrong. (So did every other paper I saw).

    The issue was whether firing someone because your spouse is jealous of them counts as gender discrimination as defined in the law. The dentist admitted that the assistant was a great worker and person, but his wife had demanded that he fire her. (There was no affair, but the dentist and assistant did text each other a lot).

    As the Iowa Sup Ct wrote, there have been several cases of this, which basically break down into two groups: (1) employee and boss have consensual affair, and spouse demands that boss fire employee as a condition of staying together; and (2) employee doesn't do anything wrong, but boss's demands that he/she be fired anyway out of jealousy.

    The court wrote that the firing was "unfair," but the question was whether it was ILLEGAL - i.e., whether the employee had been fired because she was a woman, or for some other reason. (If your boss fires you because of a completely unfair but not legally protected reason, like she's having a bad day or hates Steeler fans, you can't sue unless you have a contract that forbids it; but if she fires you for a protected reason, like she hates the disabled, then you can sue).

    For what it's worth, I think this SHOULD qualify as gender discrimination, but Fox should get the case right.

    http://www.iowacourts.gov/Supreme_Court/Recent_Opinions/20121221/11-1857.pdf

    Yes! Not everything is stated in the Fox News report. I live close to where the dentist practices and have been following the case in the local papers for a few months. IMO: It still comes back to she got fired because the wife was jealous. Whether he has an affair with an assistant or someone off the street it still is his responsiblity to keep it in his pants or in the case of Ms. Nelson, keep a professional enviroment to work in. As a former patient said in this article she quit going there because he "creeped her out". I'm not surprised as this is not the first time I've heard this! I'm extremely disappointed in my state's judgement in this case. I think it is total BS!
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    It's very much the opposite where I work.

    I work with a lot of older women. And they all seem to like it when I wear tight clothing. In fact they've started to request it. They make comments when I'm at the water cooler. Some of the supervisors call me into their office.. and make me shut the door.



    Sometimes at night... I cry.

    I'm one of his bosses :wink:

    Some guys have all the luck...
  • leahestey
    leahestey Posts: 124 Member
    What a laughable matter. It is simply that a woman wanted to have someone notice her and a man who couldn't control himself from noticing. That happens ALL THE TIME! So which one is it? A woman showing her goods is sexual harassment or is the guy who has the goo goo eyes the harasser? It all depends on the sex of the person and their opinions.

    It's like the saying.
    For men, the 30 minutes of foreplay was a waste of time.
    For the women, the 30 seconds of sex was a waste of time.
  • leahestey
    leahestey Posts: 124 Member
    Oh, it was the WIFE? She needs to get a life! If he going to cheat, let him! Because all she is doing is prolonging the misery for both of them. She can just divorce his sorry *kitten* if he does or be happy that she has a faithful husband if he doesn't. Simple!
  • Emma_Problema
    Emma_Problema Posts: 422 Member
    What a laughable matter. It is simply that a woman wanted to have someone notice her and a man who couldn't control himself from noticing. That happens ALL THE TIME! So which one is it? A woman showing her goods is sexual harassment or is the guy who has the goo goo eyes the harasser? It all depends on the sex of the person and their opinions.

    It's like the saying.
    For men, the 30 minutes of foreplay was a waste of time.
    For the women, the 30 seconds of sex was a waste of time.

    Lovely. Another "she was asking for it" statement. Oh goodie.

    And for the record, it's 45 minutes of sex and if you think 5 orgasms are a waste of time you're out of your mind. I think the same thing applies to a man who considers touching titties to be a waste of his time. I find it to be a lovely pastime.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    if iowa is a right to work state unfortunately she can be fired for for just about any reason including if say the wife decided her sister (i have no idea if the wife has a sister - this is an example) needed a that woman's job he could let her go and give the job to a family member.

    is it unfair that she lost her job because of the wife's insecurities - yes it is. However, if the office had a dress code (the article does not mention one) and she was spoken to about her attire then she broke the rules and it's grounds for firing (regardless of how petty the wife is). at the end of the day if you work in a professional setting you dress appropriately which means keeping the girls covered (i don't mean we have to wear turtlenecks every day of the year either - there is a fine line) that is why companies have professional attire dress codes. if you don't like those rules don't work in a professional setting.

    at the end of the day though he's a D*CK and his wife has self esteem issues. he was hiding his conversations with the woman from his wife. if iowa is a right to work state then sadly the D*CK can fire her just because his wife told him too.

    the woman should have sued for sexual harassment (using these exact words) but it doesn't look like she did so she lost.
  • danaelizas
    danaelizas Posts: 22 Member

    Funny, if I found out my guy was hitting on the maid, HE would be gone, not the maid. But I guess there are a lot of people in the world who are willing to put up with partners who disrespect them and their relationship. And (apparently) a lot of people who think it is OK for a man to have no self control around other women when he is supposed to be in a monogamous relationship.

    BRAVO!!! Exactly what I was thinking...
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    For the women who are posting that she dressed inappropriately:

    Your user pictures are making some of the male members' pants bulge.

    Would you really accept that if that happened to you here, much less at work? If the mod gave you a strike because one of the men complained that your user pic made his penis hard? Is an erection really all the evidence you would accept for yourself as proof that you are dressing inappropriately? Because that's the extent of the evidence anyone has posted. If he had fired her about dress code, he would have cited insubordination, period, and not gone into saving his marriage at all.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    For the women who are posting that she dressed inappropriately:

    Your user pictures are making some of the male members' pants bulge.

    Would you really accept that if that happened to you here, much less at work? If the mod gave you a strike because one of the men complained that your user pic made his penis hard? Is an erection really all the evidence you would accept for yourself as proof that you are dressing inappropriately? Because that's the extent of the evidence anyone has posted. If he had fired her about dress code, he would have cited insubordination, period, and not gone into saving his marriage at all.

    This. It's all fun and women-shaming until those same women realize that anyone can look at them and become oddly aroused, and thus aim their "You need to change yourself so **I** can control myself!" insanities at them.

    Don't matter if you show boobs, legs, or the daring and risque ankle shots of Victorian days of yore (Remember those, ladies? Oh those sluts and their ankles! Goodness, what depravity!) - someone will always blame you for being a wanton harlot. The people who participate in this are nothing short of sexual assault apologists - and the WOMEN who participate in it are dangerously so.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    For the women who are posting that she dressed inappropriately:

    Your user pictures are making some of the male members' pants bulge.

    Would you really accept that if that happened to you here, much less at work? If the mod gave you a strike because one of the men complained that your user pic made his penis hard? Is an erection really all the evidence you would accept for yourself as proof that you are dressing inappropriately? Because that's the extent of the evidence anyone has posted. If he had fired her about dress code, he would have cited insubordination, period, and not gone into saving his marriage at all.

    Nailed it! (no pun intended :laugh: )
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Re-reading the article it wasn't actually about her clothing, she engaged in a more personal intimate relationship (by texting) with him, he got caught and his wife told him to fire her, he needed a reason and the best he could think of was that he was attracted.

    That is the big picture...

    Yep. They both messed up and got caught, but he's the Boss, so she's gone. That's life. Most company's are "at will" and don't even have to give a reason.

    I saw her picture. She wasn't fired for "being to hot". She was fired for being indiscreet. They got caught texting. What didn't they get caught at?
  • He did not "remove himself from a temptation." He removed her from his temptation. It would have been commendable if he had quit. Instead, he ruined her career because he couldn't keep his penis in his pants.

    It is pretty clear the guy is a douche but "ruined her career" is a bit of a stretch. She is a dental assistant.

    This kind of thing will follow her around and may make it difficult for her to get employment again.

    That largely depends on how big of town she lives in. My wife and daughter both have female dentists.

    Considering the outrage this case has produced, I wouldn't be shocked if she has already received job offers.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    He did not "remove himself from a temptation." He removed her from his temptation. It would have been commendable if he had quit. Instead, he ruined her career because he couldn't keep his penis in his pants.

    It is pretty clear the guy is a douche but "ruined her career" is a bit of a stretch. She is a dental assistant.

    This kind of thing will follow her around and may make it difficult for her to get employment again.

    That largely depends on how big of town she lives in. My wife and daughter both have female dentists.

    Considering the outrage this case has produced, I wouldn't be shocked if she has already received job offers.

    Unfortunately at this point I'm ashamed to admit I live in Iowa! lol But the town is not big at all, 5 dental offices in her town. Quite a commute to surrounding towns.
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Legally speaking, it sounds like the dentist had the right to fire her ( I am not an expert on Iowa law).

    Morally speaking, it`s a travesty that the Iowa supreme court would uphold this. How is this any different than the oppression imposed on women who have to wear burka`s in some countries. Where do you draw the line.
    At the end of the day the man needs to be able to control his urges, regardless of the temptations. It`s what separates us from savages and beasts. To ask anything less is a disservice to society.
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