wedding/ engagement rings...

jigglebox

I know it's a different generation, but I am shocked by the extravagant diamond rings I see on most of these young brides. They love to flash their rings, and I honestly think they feel entitled to a big fancy ring. They are going into debt for a ring. A boyfriend won't propose because he can't afford a fancy enough ring.
I don't know -- I remember the saying that he should spend 2 months salary. I never paid any attention, and neither did my husband. I still love my ring, and the man that gave it to me, almost 25 years later. It's a nice ring. About half a caret.
I have friends and family who had a tiny chip of a diamond and were thrilled to get it. I just don't think that my generation cared as much. I think there is pressure on these young people, and I'm not sure when it all started.
I don't know what brought this little rant on, but I am kind of tired of listening to people whine about bills, and talk about their past due notices, and going on government aid, while sporting some big extravagant ring. And no, they aren't fake diamonds. It's just that when they get married, it's all about the ring and the wedding. People go into debt. Then the reality sets in, and the bills just keep coming. Want to start a family? Great -- but more expenses.
I guess I wish people might have a little more common sense. If you don't have, or don't expect to ever have, a higher income, maybe you should think about your lifestyle a little bit before you jump in and buy a $10,000 rings, or spend $30,000 on a wedding.
I hope that this trend subsides, and people come back to reality a little bit. Not everyone needs to be dripping in diamonds, and it doesn't prove he loves you more, if he buys you a bigger diamond. The man is way more important than the ring.
Ok -- I'm done now. Thanks for this outlet to let off a little steam!

DamnImASexyBitch

If my husband were to have spent 2 months salary on my ring, he would have had $10-15k to work with. I don't know how much he spent, but I do know I have what most would consider a flashy ring ( I know my ex husband's new wife thinks I'm pretentious ). I love the ring, and he picked it out for me because he knew that #1 I had a small chip the first time and I was embarassed by it. #2 I don't wear jewelry other than my wedding set. #3 I liked the style/setting... the karat weight wasn't the important factor. #4 he didn't go into debt to get it. He could afford it, and it made me happy. I think people who complain about the size of other people's rings are jealous.

JustANumber85

My husband didnt buy our rings, I did. $80 at walmart for mine and $20 at Kmart for his.

oregonzoo

I don't spend a lot of time worrying about what others spent on their rings.
I love my ring and wouldn't ever compare it to another.

One might say "sour grapes said the fox"

Ke11yJo

I still love my ring, and the man that gave it to me, almost 25 years later. It's a nice ring.

I so agree September will be 25 years for me as well. My engagement ring is .75 carats. For me it is perfect. Perfect for what it represents. Perfect because it was picked out by the man who to this day loves me, and I love him. Though my weight struggles. Our financial struggles. Life's struggles. I was blessed. The ring? It's just jewelry.

lisitabonita

My rings are modest, I think. Less than a ct for the engagement (solitaire) and a beautiful band purchased on Etsy. It was far less than 1 month's salary. I wanted to be married and the ring expense was the least of my concern. I chose the engagement ring below the budget given to me because I wanted something practical for me. I would have said yes if he gave me a plastic child's ring. I used to think that the ring meant something beyond the promises made in marriage, but in reality it was me wanting to show the world that I was above average. I am happy with my not too flashy but definitely 'me' wedding set and my way above average husband

bebreli

My husband proposed in Bermuda with a plain silver band. I LOVED IT! When we got home he brought out the real ring. He didn't want to take it overseas. I was shocked because I am not a jewelry person and did love the simple band. My ring is probably what you would consider flashy. However, it reminds me of my mom's ring (who has been married for 40 years and it is her original ring I guess you would probably consider it flashy also) and I thought it was beautiful. He didn't buy something he couldn't afford and I agree you shouldn't go into debt. However, other people's finances are not of my concern. Also.. I never felt entitled or flash it around. My ring finger is a size 2 so really it can only support so much ring. hahah To each their own!

Bentley2718

While I agree, many younger women are very obnoxious with their rings, and I personally get tired of hearing how much their fiances/husbands spent on their ring. I really don't care, although I could see better uses for that kind of money. But I'd like to point out that not all younger women are like that. My engagement ring is a small sapphire set in white gold with some tiny diamonds around it, it cost about a weeks worth of my husband's salary at the time--if he had spent more on it I would have been really annoyed with him. My wedding band is titanium, and was even less expensive than my engagement ring. And our entire wedding cost about $500, we could have afforded (paying cash upfront) a far more expensive wedding, but we decided we would rather have money in the bank than a large, stressful wedding. Other people make different decisions, and that is their prerogative.

One funny thing I have noticed though is that many women are surprised, and even seem to feel sorry for me when they realize that the pretty but small ring on my hand is my engagement ring. They say nice things to try to sort of make it better, it almost makes me want to laugh, but their hearts are in the right place I guess.

KristenF101

I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.

We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.

We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.

Bentley2718

My rings are modest, I think. Less than a ct for the engagement (solitaire) and a beautiful band purchased on Etsy. It was far less than 1 month's salary. I wanted to be married and the ring expense was the least of my concern. I chose the engagement ring below the budget given to me because I wanted something practical for me. I would have said yes if he gave me a plastic child's ring. I used to think that the ring meant something beyond the promises made in marriage, but in reality it was me wanting to show the world that I was above average. I am happy with my not too flashy but definitely 'me' wedding set and my way above average husband

At one point I actually told my husband to propose with one of those plastic rings, I even handed him a quarter. Apparently he thought that was going too far.

gingerveg

I won't lie I have a really nice ring and band, but I never wear them. At this point I don't see the point of an engagement or a wedding ring at all. But whatever people want to do with their money and hands are fine with me.

cowgirlashlee

I'm not engaged yet, but I asked my boyfriend of almost 5 years (and counting) to please NOT spend a lot or buy me something big and flashy. I'm a country girl. I work in a daycare center, have horses, shovel manure, haul hay, etc. Something big and flashy would get caught on the gloves I wear to change diapers at work, on the twine on my hay bales, and get dirty when I do my chores.

My mom got a beautiful folded gold rose with a small diamond chip as her engagement ring almost 30 years ago, and it's gorgeous. I'd love something simple like that, but in a silver/white gold, because I'm not a big yellow gold fan. However, no matter what my ring looks like, even if it cost a quarter out of the machine at walmart, I'll love it because it's from him.

I know so many girls that brag about their big flashy rings, and it bothers me honestly. It should be about love, not the cost and size of the ring.

Bentley2718

I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.

We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.

We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.

While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:

- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).

3dogsrunning

Way to make sweeping generalizations.

I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.

now_or_never13

I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.

We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.

We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.

While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:

- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).

I agree with the above. For well under 10K my husband and I had a great wedding.. better than we could of imagined and our guests raved about it for months.. and that included everything (rings, dress, guest favours, food, open bar, ceremony, flowers, guys flowers, bridal party gifts etc). That money also included my engagement ring which is an amazing ring that I love. We decided to spend the money on our honeymoon and our house instead of the wedding as well as have some money put into savings.

Personally, I think 40K is better spent elsewhere but it's your money to do what you want with. If you would rather spend 40K on a wedding than a house, vehicle, emergency savings etc, that's your choice.

I dont agree with the OP... not every younger lady wants a huge, fancy and expensive ring. I absolutely love my small ring that was not very expensive at all. I would of been angry if my husband spent thousands on a ring for me.

umachanxo

Not all young women that are married or complain about not having enough to get by on spent all of their money on stupid things. The only debt I have is student debt. But then again, I don't whine and complain about it because I know that there are people way worse off than I am.

But some women with the pretty and shiny big rings can afford such things. Not all, that's for sure, but try not to group them all into one category. I have a beautiful engagement ring and a simple wedding band. Neither cost a lot at all, because my husband and I married very young and were just starting out.

vjohn04

Way to make sweeping generalizations.

I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.

^This.

shame, shame, shame.

Jen800

As a young woman myself, I completely agree with you. Spending a ton of money on a ring is such a useless way to waste it.

And, so many women get caught up in the wedding, rather than the marriage. The ring is a symbol, it could be made out of string or steel. It's not important. What's more important is the meaning behind the ring, but it seems as if a lot of my generation has forgotten that. It's quite sad. Maybe that's why divorce is skyrocketing.. because people don't realize it's not about the ring or the dress or the food. It's just about the unity.

drkuhl2017

When my fiance proposed to me, he didn't even have a ring. He cannot afford a diamond but he's doing the best he can. But I know his love is true, and a ring doesn't mean much to me. (I'm 22) Not all of us in this generation are all about big, flashy rings. I love my fiance and I didn't need a ring to make me want to become his wife.

Pepper2185

I don't care what people do. If you don't know how to manage your finances or you live above your means, too bad for you.

If you can afford a big friggin ring and that's what you want, good for you. If you want a ring from Walmart, go on with your bad self.

I've got a sweet rock and if anyone has an opinion about it, they can bite me :happy:

DenyseMarieL

I never got an engagement ring when we decided to get married. We got matching wedding bands, very pretty two toned, engraved with swirls and leaves. It was a second marriage for both of us, and I'm a very practical thinker. A beautiful diamond would just get dirty on my hands which are always gardening, cleaning, baking, etc. This Christmas he surprised me with a beautiful ring, three big diamonds, surrounded by smaller diamonds, all set on a white gold and yellow gold ring. He said I deserved a beautiful ring.

I believe that going beyond what you can really afford is crazy. My son just got engaged this Christmas and bought his fiance a lovely ring, a medium sized diamond on a two toned band with diamond chips up along the sides. I would hazard a guess that the ring cost him around $800. And she was THRILLED. They are very level headed and would rather put their money towards a house than a large wedding. I do cringe when I see what people spend on that one day.

But, I'm not going to lie, I LOVE my new ring! Every girl does desire to be pampered. And I will flash that shiny diamond as much as I can. LOL

oregonzoo

I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.

We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.

We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.

While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:

- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).

40k is a ton. Weddings are a rackett. However it's just above average depending on where you marry.

JustANumber85

I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.

We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.

We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.

While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:

- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).

I agree. I wouldnt know what to do with 10K let alone 40! My wedding was maybe $1000 if that. I couldnt imagine 40k!!!

_VoV

While I agree, many younger women are very obnoxious with their rings, and I personally get tired of hearing how much their fiances/husbands spent on their ring. I really don't care, although I could see better uses for that kind of money. But I'd like to point out that not all younger women are like that. My engagement ring is a small sapphire set in white gold with some tiny diamonds around it, it cost about a weeks worth of my husband's salary at the time--if he had spent more on it I would have been really annoyed with him. My wedding band is titanium, and was even less expensive than my engagement ring. And our entire wedding cost about $500, we could have afforded (paying cash upfront) a far more expensive wedding, but we decided we would rather have money in the bank than a large, stressful wedding. Other people make different decisions, and that is their prerogative.

One funny thing I have noticed though is that many women are surprised, and even seem to feel sorry for me when they realize that the pretty but small ring on my hand is my engagement ring. They say nice things to try to sort of make it better, it almost makes me want to laugh, but their hearts are in the right place I guess.

I, too, chose a sapphire with white gold and tiny diamonds around it. I found it at a consignment shop, and told my husband-to-be all about it. He 'surprised' me with it the next day.

I had a good $25 K saved when I met my husband, which I had been saving for a down payment on a condo. So, I funded our wedding, which was covered by the food section of the Hartford Courant at the time. It was a green, vegan wedding, before green took off. I had a cotton gown made for myself and my mother, I wanted simple flowers, so my bouquet was made of daisies. Our only splurge was a vegan multi-course dinner at a fancy French restaurant overlooking a beautiful river.

All these years later, I'm not sure I would have done the fancy dinner, or invited all the relatives I only see at weddings and funerals. Still it was a fun day for around $10 K in 1991. I don't know what that translates in 2012 dollars.

charelg

I like big rings and I cannot lie. Lol.
Honestly my ring is beautiful, not cheap but not outrageous. I believe a man should save for a ring, not go in debt, but save for something his future wife will love wearing every day. I agree young people are bad with money, but they will live and learn.

VelociMama

Way to make sweeping generalizations.

I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.

Agreed.

So other people have bigger fancier diamonds and spend more on their wedding than what you think is "reasonable." People have different income levels, priorities, and different ideas about what a wedding should be. As long as they can afford it and pay for it, why do you care?

Get over yourself.

I've got a sweet rock and if anyone has an opinion about it, they can bite me

^ this too.

oregonzoo

Way to make sweeping generalizations.

I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.

Agreed.

So other people have bigger fancier diamonds and spend more on their wedding than what you think is "reasonable." People have different income levels, priorities, and different ideas about what a wedding should be. As long as they can afford it and pay for it, why do you care?

Get over yourself.

I've got a sweet rock and if anyone has an opinion about it, they can bite me

^ this too.

This is why I heart you.

jesswait

I never received and engagement ring and I've been married for 6 years. It would have been nice to have one at all, but I really don't think about it often. To each their own I suppose.

VictoriaWorksOut

I wish someone post some pictures of some rings. Love looking at rings.

For me two things were (and still is) important:

1. Ring is paid for in cash,
2. I don't ever want to know how much it was, because i know I will be thinking "you paid too much".


My ring is the most beautiful ring I have seen.

charelg

Toya2xcel

I don't think its right to judge others based on their engagement ring size if you don't know their situation. Some people make more money than others so spending more on a ring probably doesn't hurt them financially. Just because someone has a huge ring doesn't mean they spend their money frivolously, maybe their fiance worked really hard and saved for months to get that ring, you never know. I do agree with you though that if you know for a fact someone is struggling financially, yet they go out and buy a huge ring then yeah they need to get their priorities straight.

I got married at 23, my husband and I paid for our own wedding and it was about 9K for the wedding and our rings combined. Our goal was to have everything wedding related paid off as of the day we got married and we achieved that goal and therefore we went into marriage with no wedding debt. Now student loan debt is a different story hahaha. My ring isn't very big either but I LOVE it and I LOVE the man that gave it to me even more!