Mixed Signals!

24

Replies

  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

    I must be an exception (: I do love a grilling... It's a prime opportunity to wind my girlfriend up lol

    bad thing...lol
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

    When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Holy textspeak batman! I don't even do that when I am actually sending an sms. I think my eyes might start bleeding.

    That said, it *is* possible that he is actually busy with finals, and then being with his family over the holidays. It is also possible that he has lost interest in talking to you for some other reason. I would not recommend asking him about it, those conversations are just awkward, plus it is easy to sound accusatory and/or clingy. Nothing is more annoying than "why don't you text me anymore :(" (except I'm pretty sure your message wouldn't have that many vowels ;) ). I would send him the occasional message, and follow his lead. You could also ask him general questions that would allow you to see if he has been really busy. The question "what have you been up to lately" is very neutral, but gives him an easy way to tell you how busy he is, or if he has had some other distraction (illness, etc.) if in fact, these things are a factor.

    Sometimes, especially when there is distance but no serious relationship, people just lose interest.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    Keep talking to him.
    Sounds like he is just a little busy.
    We get stressed at times, nice to hear from a friend.
    Good luck and don't let the other bs bother you.
    Sometimes people on here just look for a fight.
  • Well, I typed something but it wasn't very nice. I made a general statement grouping all men into one category, so I wanted to delete it. Apparently, there are no options for that so here I am, typing something in the little box.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?

    Not just guys, nothing makes me want to spend less time talking to a person quite like having them say something like "why don't you talk to me as much anymore." *shudder*

    Edited to improve clarity.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

    When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.

    I partially disagree with that. It depends on the guy.

    I for instance have extreme tunnel vision. If I'm focused on studying, time flies by and before I know it it's 11pm and too late to contact people. I can pass through a week without knowing it. I'll say "okay, tomorrow I'll call ---" and then I get distracted and it happens again and again until it's a month later and I haven't talked to anyone. It's not that I don't care or want to. I just get enveloped in things and temporarily forget everything else.
  • mommygirlx3
    mommygirlx3 Posts: 39 Member
    dont worry about the typing, I would just ask straight out what the problem is.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    Whoa.
    :noway:
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

    They hate it, but it's a means to an end. Would you rather just wait and wonder or get it from the source?
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    Bitter party of one your table is now ready.

    Could be the guy is genuinely busy....
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    Whoa.
    :noway:

    And it was her first post ever. Just imagine what other gems she has to offer!
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
    I won't be nasty about your post. I don't know how old you are but I think it is a good idea to tell him that you know he has been busy and you miss talking as much as you used to. But with the start of a new year, you just wanted to clear the air and be honest with each other. Knowing the truth, even if it hurts, is better than what your imagination will put you through imagining the worst. Good luck.

    This^^
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
    Well, first of all, it has been my experience that guys don't typically befriend women that they have no romantic interest in. I'm not saying it's NOT possible for a guy to be "just friends" with a woman, but usually there is some level of attraction there.

    But, having said that, his newfound distance does probably indicate that he's placing his attention on someone new. So you have to ask yourself what you want from this guy. If you're in it to win it, keep up with the friendship, but don't get clingy. Maybe it will happen in time, or maybe it won't. Just be yourself.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.
    That statement is sexist, men are no more pigs than women. And now that I think about it, it's a little rude to pigs too. Pigs aren't bad creatures, and probably aren't jerks nearly as often as people.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

    They hate it, but it's a means to an end. Would you rather just wait and wonder or get it from the source?

    as for me, I didnt say stop speaking to him! Be friendly and intereact, etc...i just meant dont grill him.
  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?

    Not just guys, nothing makes me want to talk to a person less often than having them say something like "why don't you talk to me as much anymore." *shudder*

    "Because you f***ing bore me"... You'll likely NEVER have to speak to them again! *highfive*
  • KaydeForce
    KaydeForce Posts: 96 Member
    If there's one thing I've learned about men: If you have to wonder whether they "like" you or not, they DON'T.

    I know this hurts. I'm sorry. But I think most guys will agree with me. Even the shy guy next door will find some way to communicate their feelings. "Busy" doesn't count. No man is EVER too busy to show a woman that he's into her...
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    ew,

    MEN are wonderful.


    go away
  • swarovski75
    swarovski75 Posts: 195 Member
    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    Yeah....don't do that.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

    When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.

    I partially disagree with that. It depends on the guy.

    I for instance have extreme tunnel vision. If I'm focused on studying, time flies by and before I know it it's 11pm and too late to contact people. I can pass through a week without knowing it. I'll say "okay, tomorrow I'll call ---" and then I get distracted and it happens again and again until it's a month later and I haven't talked to anyone. It's not that I don't care or want to. I just get enveloped in things and temporarily forget everything else.

    right...so I would text you and talk to you...not be all why?why? why?
    and if you were interested you would write back
    its not complicated
  • womaniam
    womaniam Posts: 104 Member
    People are just so mean...I've never seen people act and say such mean things to people on this site...But on a brighter note follow your gut instinct and always do whats best for you and never leave or put your well being in anyones hands. Know what you want and don't settle for less.

    I hope this helps.
  • chunkyjeff
    chunkyjeff Posts: 68 Member
    One other thing ... In your profile you mention as one of the reasons for joining MFP was that you want to look good for your boyfriend ... What does he think of this "friend " of yours .
  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
    If there's one thing I've learned about men: If you have to wonder whether they "like" you or not, they DON'T.

    I know this hurts. I'm sorry. But I think most guys will agree with me. Even the shy guy next door will find some way to communicate their feelings. "Busy" doesn't count. No man is EVER too busy to show a woman that he's into her...

    My girlfriend occasionally asks if I love her... Apparently smothering her with affection, kisses & being sickeningly complimentary isn't proof enough - I love her to pieces, I think she just struggles to see why - so I don't entirely agree with that, but it's probably spot on in most cases!

    I agree with the last part, there are 24 hours in a day, it takes a matter of seconds to show somebody you care, whatever way you choose to do it.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    One other thing ... In your profile you mention as one of the reasons for joining MFP was that you want to look good for your boyfriend ... What does he think of this "friend " of yours .
    Which could be part of the problem. Some dude who is just talking to some chick he isn't committed to...

    Well if she's calling herself his girlfriend that scares the heck out of men.
  • NormalSaneFLGuy
    NormalSaneFLGuy Posts: 1,344 Member
    And something you need to remember. If a man wants to spend time with a woman, if he wants to talk to a woman. He will. He'll be there. As much if not more than you want.

    When men distance themselves they have a hard time disappointing a woman. But you need to realize you are better than those kind of games. Just move on. Be happy somewhere else.

    I partially disagree with that. It depends on the guy.

    I for instance have extreme tunnel vision. If I'm focused on studying, time flies by and before I know it it's 11pm and too late to contact people. I can pass through a week without knowing it. I'll say "okay, tomorrow I'll call ---" and then I get distracted and it happens again and again until it's a month later and I haven't talked to anyone. It's not that I don't care or want to. I just get enveloped in things and temporarily forget everything else.

    right...so I would text you and talk to you...not be all why?why? why?
    and if you were interested you would write back
    its not complicated

    depends!
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
    Or maybe he's just busy. Or maybe she's sending mixed signals too. Or maybe he doesn't want to appear too needy/clingy.
  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
    I rlly want 2 start the new year off fresh and on a good foot but i don't know if I should talk to him about why he hasn't been contacting me as much?

    No. Do not address the fact that he is otherwise occupied. You are NOT his girlfriend or his wife. You are his friend. Be the friend. Do you nag your friends if they've been busy? No, I doubt it.
    Would that seem intrusive/ give him 2nd thoughts if he didn't already have them?

    YES!
    I mean, he's still really nice when we do talk and he flirts w/ me a bit i think but I'm getting so many mixed signals & I rlly don't know what to do!

    If and when he flirts with you - flirt back. Full Stop. Do not do carryovers. Do not replay one-time moments. If he really likes you like that, you'd know and he'd show it. Move on. Stay busy. Do not be needy. Don't be dependent on his attention via text/skype. He is your friend. Stay within those boundaries. You are obviously open to exploring other possibilities within your friendship, via his signals, only that he is seemingly running hot and cold. Be temperate. Don't push. Have no expectations. Most importantly choose you and don't forget to live.

    EDIT: Adjust quote box.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    Who said Im nice???
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    with grammar skills like that, he may not want to talk to you...the red pen would be in full force....yikes.

    Goodness me, you're rude. With written skills like yours I would keep quiet. Ellipsis is THREE dots, not four and there would be a space when you've finished with them. You might also like to consider some capital letters and perhaps, an exclamation mark after the word, "Yikes".

    M'kay? :wink:

    Whatever. There is that better?