Mixed Signals!

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  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
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    with grammar skills like that, he may not want to talk to you...the red pen would be in full force....yikes.

    Goodness me, you're rude. With written skills like yours I would keep quiet. Ellipsis is THREE dots, not four and there would be a space when you've finished with them. You might also like to consider some capital letters and perhaps, an exclamation mark after the word, "Yikes".

    M'kay? :wink:

    Whatever. There is that better?

    There should really have been a comma between "there" and "is". ;)
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

    They hate it, but it's a means to an end. Would you rather just wait and wonder or get it from the source?

    as for me, I didnt say stop speaking to him! Be friendly and intereact, etc...i just meant dont grill him.

    I didn't say grill...all I said was be upfront with him. Just ask a simple question, get the answer and be done with it...but then again, im still single, so what do i know.
  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
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    You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    Who said Im nice???

    I'd go as far as to say I'm honest, but honesty and niceness are two different things. If it's niceness you want, you can't always expect honesty. If you want honesty, you better be prepared to take the bad as well as the good. (:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Men are pigs, get over it and move on. If he wants to talk to you, he will but don't wait around for him to decide that you're good enough.

    Yeah....don't do that.

    Not all men are pigs. Geesh!

    As a woman there have been times where I distanced myself because I wasn't interested but I felt mean coming out and saying that. Does that make me a pig?

    Anyway, OP, the thing about men is that when they're interested, they don't leave you alone. They call. They e-mail, whatever. You would be hearing from him. For whatever reason -- maybe just the distance -- he isn't interested but probably afraid to say so.
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    I mean, okay, I know this all sounds kinda weird and all but I really have noticed that we don't talk as much. What I don't want to happen is for me 2 keep contacting him more than he wants me 2 or something 'cause i don't want him 2 think i'm clingy.

    Then stop contacting him first for a while and see what happens. It will tell you a lot.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
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    how did this turn to a men bashing thread? Guess what, there are women out there that are complete pigs too. Do you want a side of self pity with your bitterness?
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Guess what, there are women out there that are complete pigs too.

    Lies..all lies
  • whitneyps7
    whitneyps7 Posts: 409 Member
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    some guys are interested but then life gets in the way. hes trying to be responsible but when u got alot on your plate its harder to hit people up. thats how it is for me now. i now work two jobs and im trying to be the best me i can be and be a "grown up" so i hardly talk to people cause im busy all the time and i just work and sleep and work on being better for myself im no longer interesed in the parties and dating. so guys have gotten a little upset that i dnt talk to them as much (they are just friends, i wasnt exactly flirting or texting them good morning/ goodnight so it isnt 100% the same). so all in all i guess hes gotten busy and trying to make the best out of himslef with what hes got so that may be why. personally i would bring it up, ask him whats up and if hes been really busy to talk to you as much? then just tell him that you like him. he needs to know. if u havnt said it you need to, saying it and showing it can put off compleatly different signals to him as well
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Guess what, there are women out there that are complete pigs too.
    Are you calling us fat????

    :noway:
    :laugh:
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    You need to play hard to get... ignore him a bit and see if he comes running to you . If he does great, if not you need to run away and find someone new.
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
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    Distance is hard on a relationship, especially when you just starting out (since summer is not very long at all). I suspect that the conversation levels had been trending down for a while before you noticed it. Did you get together over the break? If not, you probably don't have much of a relationship except friends. I would take the advice of people here and ask him. Don't beat around the bush about it, but don't confront or accuse either. You all are both pretty young, and it does sound like he has met someone, or at least they have caught his eye. Good luck.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    Who said Im nice???

    Yeah OP. You are going to get people who aren't going to sugar coat the truth. These are some of the best peeps out there. You asked for opinions and you got them.

    In regards specifically to your issue - he's probably not just that into you.

    And if you are calling your "friend" your boyfriend, you probably need to step back and realize you've created this whole romantic scenario that really doesn't exist. Just saying.

    Maybe instead of trying to get into ANY relationship, you should focus on bettering yourself physically and mentally first. Seriously.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    It has been my experience that people always make time for whatever is most important to them. The better question is where do you expect to be in his priority list? Me, I have a goddess complex and I'm high maintenance, so I would already be bored with the lack of attention and moving on. Others have lower expectations. And there's nothing wrong with that, to each her own. Obviously you want more than you are getting or you wouldn't have posted for advice, but you aren't ready to walk away even though he isn't fulfilling your needs...why? What's keeping you? Are you going to be happy long-term if you do get something serious from him and you are still where you are on the priority list? Or are you expecting him to change? If you are expecting him to change, do you really think that's reasonable? School is his job right now an it will eventually be done, but then work will take it's place on the priority list, right? He's not going to suddenly value a relationship more than work if he didn't value a relationship more than school? Are you going to be happy with that level of priority in your life?
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    If he is friendly and flirty when you are speaking it may well be that he was just busy. Continue on for a while and see if it resolves I would say.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I'm guessing you're really young.

    Most people in Uni (College here in the US) don't want to be tied down. They want to be free to have fun. He probably talks to a lot of other girls and maybe have found one he is interested in, who is at his Uni meaning he can hook up with her, go out with her etc, he's probably more likely to spend his time texting these girls.

    It take 2 seconds to reply to a text, but I've ignored texts from guys before or not been consistent about responding because I'm really not interested in them/what they're saying. Mostly this happens with guys who like me, who I don't like because I get annoyed with their constant steam of texts and flirting that I never respond to any yet they continue to send

    This might be the case, you're more of a friend he's not really that interested in so he isn't texting you as much. Don't get too hung up on someone not that into you. If he was he'd be texting you back. Don't make up excuses. It has nothing to do with being busy. He just doesn't care enough to take the time to text/talk

    Sorry =( I know it sucks when someone you like doesn't like you but that's just how it is sometimes.
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    with grammar skills like that, he may not want to talk to you...the red pen would be in full force....yikes.

    this. I wouldn't be very likely to talk to you, either. *cringe*
  • Jpinpoint
    Jpinpoint Posts: 219 Member
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    Go get the book "He is just not that into you" and read it.

    ^this
  • mem50
    mem50 Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Perhaps he is super busy.

    Maybe he met someone else.

    You say you became "close" over the summer etc. etc. Maybe he had second thoughts.

    Guys And Gals are wierd sometimes. Ask him pointblank what is going on. Hopefully he'll be honest.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    This seems easy...
    He enjoyed your friendship but sensed you might have wanted more.
    He ran...
    Some guys are like that.
  • Toya2xcel
    Toya2xcel Posts: 107 Member
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    he was keeping you "in the wings" for the ego strokes & has now found someone closer in whom he is more interested. sorry. move on.

    not to be mean but THIS!

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