"Just break up already"

llaurenmarie

General Question:

Do you feel like there's a minimum amount of time you need to truly move on?
Or is life too short to dwell on something that didn't work out?

diodelcibo

In before Just break up girl.

oregonzoo

Well there's really no answer. There are a lot of variables...

Mutant13

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

llaurenmarie

Well there's really no answer. There are a lot of variables...

Very correct

llaurenmarie

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

I actually had the same experience a few years ago, moved right on after it and it changed me for the best

My0WNinspiration

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

Pretty much this for me.

llaurenmarie

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

Pretty much this for me.

I find that it is possible to have your 'recovery' period before you actually even break it off if it's a long drug out kinda thing..

Mutant13

Exactly. You just need to grow to hate the very sight of the person first

dad106

I think it depends on the situation.

I met with a guy I've been seeing for a few weeks last night, and we decided to stop seeing each other... and while I'm not upset over it or can't say that I didn't see it coming, I still feel like there is unfinished business there and that it's going to take time to move on.

Skinny_minny_mo

some people are easy to get over.... others not so much!

i was with my ex for almost 4years. even though we ended it we've still maintained a really good relationship. i keep on meeting *kitten* which makes it difficult to not want to go back.

distance does help though. sigh. matters of the heart are never easy to solve.

oregonzoo

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

Pretty much this for me.

I find that it is possible to have your 'recovery' period before you actually even break it off if it's a long drug out kinda thing..

Yes. This happened to me. I was over my ex about 2 years before we divorced. Sadly.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

I dwelled on a break up . . . when I was 13. Not saying that break ups aren't difficult or emotional, but I they aren't worth dwelling on. I'm friendly (as in facebook friends and sometime chat) with most of the guys I dated who were quality people except 1 because that was a difficult relationship for him to end (he was getting ready to propose, I wasn't getting ready to say yes). I hold neither ill will nor desire toward any of them. My life is a seies of stepping stones and those relationships taught me, in the long run, which attributes I did and which attributes I didn't want in a relaitonship. Sitting back and analyzing them also helped me to evaluate the type of man I gravitated toward so that I could make smarter decisions.

korsicash

Going through something myself and I do believe you need time to let yourself heal.

Pixi_Rex

depends on the person, the situation, what is wrong, what I want out of the relationship, how long I have already been in that relationship, how long I have tried to 'make it work', how the other person is trying (if they are trying) the list goes on there is no real answer.

Lyssa62

Exactly. You just need to grow to hate the very sight of the person first

I've been married 25 years and I think about 2 years ago is when I got to this spot. Still with him as roommates though-- can't afford a lawyer and can't afford to live without his income. ..and well he's got nowhere else to go so it's a matter of convenience. When you get to be our ages sometimes that's as good as it gets.

I'm jealous of all you young people that can change things and get out and find the "right" one.

MommaKit79

To Each Their Own!!

Also, it depends on HOW the relationship broke up, the length & the "strength" of the relationship, and quite frankly, HOW it changed you during the relationship. I was with someone for over a year and the break-up, eventhough it was a month or so in the making, it still took me about 3 months to just FEEL like myself again! He controlled everything we did and I wasnt myself when I was with him. He didnt control ME but, it did seem like I like him take control of the relationship. When we were not together, I was a different person then when we were out as a couple. Once I got over THAT aspect of it, I was fine and ready to move on. For me, I jsut had to get ME back first!! :-)

LMT2012

Bump. I need to hear this.

Bobby__Clerici

I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

Pretty much this for me.

I find that it is possible to have your 'recovery' period before you actually even break it off if it's a long drug out kinda thing..

If it were me, once a relationship is truly over, I am DONE.
No sitting around the house alone listening to sad music.
Seriously, if the relationship is truly over, get out and meet new folks.
Have some fun, and enjoy the possibilities.
Good Luck :flowerforyou:

Windy_

When it's over, it's over, I moved on to something better.

JoyousRen

General Question:

Do you feel like there's a minimum amount of time you need to truly move on?
Or is life too short to dwell on something that didn't work out?

It depends on the person and the relationship. I've had relationships that have taken years to completely get over and I've had relationships where I was over it the second we broke up.