"Just break up already"

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Replies

  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    I think it depends on how you feel about yourself in all honesty. It has NOTHING to do with another individual. If you feel strong, confident, happy, and know it doesn't come from anyone but yourself then you're ready to get out there and rock on.
    Truer words have not been spoken
  • ClementineGeorg
    ClementineGeorg Posts: 505 Member
    Or is life too short to dwell on something that didn't work out?
    Dwelling is sometimes necessary, as crying and suffering is necessary after a dear one die.

    But it goes far beyond dwelling. After a long relationship, some people may need `recovery`. When you are truly involved in a relationship you evolve into that relationship, you change towards it (and it's not a bad change, just an adaptation), so you need time to discover yourself again.
    Many people just go into another relationship not realizing how much damage the unresolved things from the past one can actually do. And you don't have to resolve it with your ex-partner. You must resolve it with yourself. We humans always do something wrong; even if the other did something worse. Don't move on without finding what you did wrong.

    No matter what life experience you go through, you must take time and analyze it, what you did wrong, what you really want, what you have learned from it. You don't just put garbage under the carpet and pretend it never happened. You will go on, but somethings things remain in your subconscious.
  • emmy3111
    emmy3111 Posts: 482 Member
    Either way you try to minimize it and move on, because if anything you should be angry that you allowed this other person to waste your time when you could have found something more meaningful \m/

    This.

    My ex wasted so much of my time... my own fault. I am sooooo much happier in the relationship I am in now :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Life is too long to spend unhappy. Not too short.
  • 00sarah
    00sarah Posts: 621 Member
    Cutting off all communication and time are the best medicine.
    I fully believe in this, and exes seem to want to stay friends -_-

    You don't need those friends
  • lilmisfit
    lilmisfit Posts: 860 Member
    If you're questioning it, it's time to move on.
  • R0asted
    R0asted Posts: 83 Member
    It usually takes me about 3 months to fully get that person out of my head and go into full single mode. Nothing wrong with having hookups in that time but I would never jump into another relationship any quicker than that. MANY people seem to think different though.
    Alot of women are programmed to believe men don't have a healing time hah
    Thanks for sharing!

    From my experience, men often take breakups harder than women. We just deal with them differently.
  • rlmiller73190
    rlmiller73190 Posts: 342 Member
    My ex of 3 years (and my first love) moved on before our relationship was officially ended. I was obviously devastated and heartbroken, but I only felt "down in the dumps" for about a month. Then I just snapped out of it (not sure what changed) and now I'm incredibly happy and just loving life! I still get sad sometimes, but the sadness is usually short lived. Our anniversary just passed on NYE and I thought I was going to be mopey, but I had the BEST NYE (probably better than any of our anniversaries). I will always love him, but I'm not IN love with him, and I'm not yet ready to be friends with him. He wants to be friends with me, but I'm not going out of my way to pursue that relationship.

    I should have paid attention to the warning signs in my head, especially when I thought my family would be angry (even though they liked him) if he proposed... that shoulda told me that he's not my marrying man!

    I'm ready to get back out there and go on some dates--not actively searching for anything serious, but open to whatever comes around!
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    If you're questioning it, it's time to move on.
    Not questioning it, I have moved on, and my friends are trying to tell me it's too soon.
    I know what I feel and what's better for me.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    It usually takes me about 3 months to fully get that person out of my head and go into full single mode. Nothing wrong with having hookups in that time but I would never jump into another relationship any quicker than that. MANY people seem to think different though.
    Alot of women are programmed to believe men don't have a healing time hah
    Thanks for sharing!

    From my experience, men often take breakups harder than women. We just deal with them differently.
    I can understand that. Don't suppose many men bawl their eyes out over Barbara Streisand music. Some may...
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Cutting off all communication and time are the best medicine.
    I fully believe in this, and exes seem to want to stay friends -_-

    You don't need those friends
    exactly
  • Lyssa62
    Lyssa62 Posts: 930 Member

    is he aware you are just hanging around because you can't afford to leave?

    convenience schmonvenience - let each other be happy.

    Actually it's my house so not sure how to reword that. I've told him before if he's not happy he can leave. I've suggested that he leave for awhile..whatever it takes. Maybe we could use a break..but he won't leave. I would get the bills paid so I'm not begging him to stay to support me. He just doesn't want to leave and I'm not leaving so here we are..it is what it is.
  • EmilyJackCO
    EmilyJackCO Posts: 621 Member
    I wasted 3 years of my life on somebody who wasn't worth a day. Luckily once I decided to leave I didn't spend another second dwelling on it!

    Seriously... I did, and I'm celebrating 5 years single today. I did gain some wisdom from those 11 years, but all the $$? Yeaaaaah.... I could have bought quite the sweet little ranch with a gorgeous home on it. *hrmph*

    Don't do that, but evaluate what you need and where you want to be and if it's worth making it fit.

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