how do you deal when people try to sabotage you ?

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  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    You're way too old to be blaming your mother for your problems. The only way she can sabotage you is if you allow her to do so. Stand up for yourself.

    <3
  • shan899
    shan899 Posts: 40
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    I'm sorry but some of you are being extremely insensitive. Just because her mother isn't physically forcing food from her hands or "tackling her" doesn't mean that it is not sabotage and certainly isn't behavior that helps someone who struggles with their weight. If you don't have anything helpful or nice to say, move on. To the OP, I think the person that said just politely decline your mother's input is the best advice. Let her know that different things work for different people and you've found what works for you and you don't need her advice but you will ask her when you do. I know it's tough, I'm close with my mom and we both struggle with our weight and we just don't talk about it at all anymore. I hope you can come to a place where you can still have a good relationship with your family and continue to take care of yourself. Good luck!

    Thank god someone said this!!!
  • alsunrise
    alsunrise Posts: 386 Member
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    doesn't sound like sabotage exactly..... more like support in a very controlling way. Maybe you should ask her to back off a little. Explain that you know she's just trying to help but that sometimes the way she goes about it, she's doing more damage than good.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
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    I'm sorry but some of you are being extremely insensitive. Just because her mother isn't physically forcing food from her hands or "tackling her" doesn't mean that it is not sabotage and certainly isn't behavior that helps someone who struggles with their weight. If you don't have anything helpful or nice to say, move on. To the OP, I think the person that said just politely decline your mother's input is the best advice. Let her know that different things work for different people and you've found what works for you and you don't need her advice but you will ask her when you do. I know it's tough, I'm close with my mom and we both struggle with our weight and we just don't talk about it at all anymore. I hope you can come to a place where you can still have a good relationship with your family and continue to take care of yourself. Good luck!

    Thank god someone said this!!!

    I feel for the OP because she has such a controlling Mom, but the only person who can stop that behavior is the OP. SHe needs to TELL her mom to back off and be quiet.

    If you know she's inviting you over with a bunch of skinny friends to make you feel bad then just TELL her you're not going and be very specific WHY. After three or four times i bet she stops that.

    If she's blabbing at you about a diet she found listen, she's just voicing and opinion and wants to help. If it moves to her bashing the diet YOU chose then stop her and tell her you don't want to hear anymore. If she persists then get up and walk away. Get in your car and go home. If she's at your house go to a movie and leave her sitting there.

    She'll get the point, but YOU have to be the one to enforce it.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    i giggle.

    they cant put food in my mouth or stop me from working out.
  • nguk123
    nguk123 Posts: 223
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    I doubt she is trying to sabotage you, like some villainous fairy tale stepmom.
    She is almost certainly tryin to help you and a) doesn't know how b) thinks you don't know how.

    If you want to make her a supporter, the best thing would be to be consistent with your calorie logging. Share the log with your mom. Look mom, I have a plan to hit a deficit. Etc. I can eat fruit if I hit my deficit. Etc.

    I would hope that such an approach would tell we that you are serious about dropping weight, and that you don't need her plans because you have your own, and are disciplined to follow it.

    If not, tell her you're a grown woman and to mind her own business or you will reduce contact.
    That sounds like a second best option though.
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,284 Member
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    Only YOU can sabotage yourself. YOU are the one who makes the choices, no one else. So if you give you, you only have yourself to blame.
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    I have nothing else to add to this thread except for what is now stuck in my head:


    I can't stand it,
    I know you planned it,
    I'm gonna set it straight,
    this Watergate.


    So thank you for that. =\

    Now in my head...running around doing 70s posses!

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