"Fluffy" Ladies: Does your man...
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This body-conscious insecurty thing must be age related. At 53, after 3 live births, I could be wheeled in on a gurney completely naked with a spotlight on me before Congress and I would stand up and give 'em a show. :drinker: :laugh:0
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My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.0 -
He was there in the delivery room. I've embraced my body this way: I worked hard for this body. Every lump, bump, scar, stretch mark, sag and more tells it's own story. I'm working on getting healthier and in the process feeling better about me and maybe fitting into smaller clothes. But this is who I am.0
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Sure has. Just about every day he sees me naked before I get in the shower or when I get out. I've got not secrets.0
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My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
I like you! :happy: :drinker: That's a sweet answer~!0 -
Pfft! Nearly everyone I know has seen me nude/partially nude at some point, my weight issues are my own, no-one else's. My husband has loved me from my heaviest to my lightest and I've never been "fluffy", I've been morbidly obese, obese and overweight :flowerforyou:0
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I am definitely medically obese, and I'd never wear clothes if I didn't have to. My 'man' loves my insides, and doesn't have a problem with my outsides. (and neither do I)
Misskourtney's attitude make me want to see her nekkid too . . .hehe. Confidence matters!0 -
Again, completely irrelevant.
I'm going to be "that girl". I was 20 when I got pregnant (purposefully), 21 when I gave birth, and 22 when I got married.
She had some kids and gained some weight and now she's got some confidence issues with her body. This has nothing to do with at what age you get married or your frontal lobe. This has to do with body image issues.Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
What does that have to do with anything? lol Weve been together 8 and been married 4. I'm not worried about forever right now (:
Your ability to predict what your partner wants/ needs/ desires/ thinks about you, and his ability to see you and form opinions about one another and yourself (body image), is woefully underdeveloped. When you are older, you'll likely look back and think of decisions you made at this age related to your husband and other relationships as less than flawless. This question that you posed seems like one of those things that one could put in this category. Unfortunately, it's more challenging to notice this in the moment. Why is that? Because your frontal lobe isn't fully developed until you're about 25 years old. Do I know you personally? No. Could you be an outlier, or an exception to the rule? Sure. I'm just offering my opinion, which you solicited on an open, public forum in the hopes of giving you something to think about that could help you.
And, just to be "that guy": my wife and I were 23 when we got married. We will hit 17 years this year and we're happy as pigs in *kitten*.
And to put it back on track: She's had my kids and I still love seeing her nekkid every chance I get.
My grandmother was 17 when she got married. She and my grandfather were married up until he passed away 30 some odd years later.
Like I stated before, the idea of waiting until *after* you're 25 to get married is a relatively new concept.
This is one instance that science does not apply to everyone. And, like I also said earlier, this particular science has absolutely nothing to do with the OP, and is completely irrelevant to this thread.
Sigh. It's called a base rate comparison. Your observations lack it. Happiness is a relative concept, yes? The question is not dichotomous-- ie: you aren't either happy or unhappy. It's a continuous measure. So... the only way to "prove me wrong" with your singular case study data point, would be to compare how happy you are with your pre-25 year old marriage, to how happy you are to your post 25-year old choice of life partner. What's that? you don't have a time machine to perform that experiment? So, because you don't have the necessary base rate to compare your current happiness to, your point that you got married before your frontal lobe was fully formed and you are "happy" doesn't invalidate the point that it's tougher to make decisions about relationships before one is 25.
Also, the condescending tone is unnecessary. I completely comprehend what you're saying, I'm simply pointing out the fact that A. this science does not apply to every living person, and B. Again, it has absolutely nothing to do with this post.
What about this are you not understanding?0 -
No amount of excess fat (or open blinds, or shocked workmen outside, etc.) is gonna stop me from walking around the house naked, so my man sees it all. And he's always liked what he's seen. As an added bonus, he's more able to see the changes in my body as I lose weight than I am, and his honest praise is a good motivator when I struggle with my body image.0
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This whole issue is one of the reasons I won't date: I don't want anyone to see me nekkid. Sad but true. I keep telling everyone that it's because I don't want to involve anyone in my son's life. And to an extent that's true. But I'm really just convinced that no one would want me at this size.0
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Maybe you should ask him about how he feels about you hiding your body since having kids. I predict, if he's anything shy of a total *kitten*, he will tell you he loves your body and would love to see you nakey and hates that you hide out. And if he doesn't say this, he's an idiot.
Subtlety, by the way, has never been my strongsuit...
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He's seen me naked and enjoys it... I like being naked just cause I'm fat doesn't make me ashamed of my body0
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Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
What does this have to do with anything? My husband and I started dating at 15, we married at 21, and are currently 29, happily married, 1 child and have been told we still act like newly weds...0 -
My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
You are my hero... Your wife is a lucky woman, and you are a lucky man!0 -
My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
I think everyone can take a note from this. You win, sir. The thread is over now.0 -
know what you really look like? I mean does he know what you look like completely naked, standing up, in the light?
Edit: Been together 8 years, and hes seen anything and everything in the light before but since having kids 2 years ago he hasnt seen me FULLY naked in the light.
Of course mine has. He's seen me at every weight and loves me regardless. I assure you that yours does too- just cut yourself some slack.0 -
I would never wear clothes if the house was warmer and there weren't teenagers running around.0
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For me to be happy, I need to be as comfortable in my husband's company as I would be if I were alone, and I am that comfortable.
Yes my husband sees every single inch of me. We've been married for 8 years and we have two children so he's seen me in a variety of conditions. He enjoys what I look like, but that's not why he married me. He sees me naked daily and likes it even though I'm not 100% happy with my current physique.0 -
Yes. He's seen me at my heaviest; my slimmest; right before our 1st child was born; right after; and this morning… He thinks I'm the most beautiful, sexy woman in the world, and the best part is, he supports my weight loss, but the extra weight doesn't bother him either.0
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I'm going to be "that girl". I was 20 when I got pregnant (purposefully), 21 when I gave birth, and 22 when I got married.
She had some kids and gained some weight and now she's got some confidence issues with her body. This has nothing to do with at what age you get married or your frontal lobe. This has to do with body image issues.Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
What does that have to do with anything? lol Weve been together 8 and been married 4. I'm not worried about forever right now (:
Your ability to predict what your partner wants/ needs/ desires/ thinks about you, and his ability to see you and form opinions about one another and yourself (body image), is woefully underdeveloped. When you are older, you'll likely look back and think of decisions you made at this age related to your husband and other relationships as less than flawless. This question that you posed seems like one of those things that one could put in this category. Unfortunately, it's more challenging to notice this in the moment. Why is that? Because your frontal lobe isn't fully developed until you're about 25 years old. Do I know you personally? No. Could you be an outlier, or an exception to the rule? Sure. I'm just offering my opinion, which you solicited on an open, public forum in the hopes of giving you something to think about that could help you.
And, just to be "that guy": my wife and I were 23 when we got married. We will hit 17 years this year and we're happy as pigs in *kitten*.
And to put it back on track: She's had my kids and I still love seeing her nekkid every chance I get.
My grandmother was 17 when she got married. She and my grandfather were married up until he passed away 30 some odd years later.
Like I stated before, the idea of waiting until *after* you're 25 to get married is a relatively new concept.
This is one instance that science does not apply to everyone. And, like I also said earlier, this particular science has absolutely nothing to do with the OP, and is completely irrelevant to this thread.
Sigh. It's called a base rate comparison. Your observations lack it. Happiness is a relative concept, yes? The question is not dichotomous-- ie: you aren't either happy or unhappy. It's a continuous measure. So... the only way to "prove me wrong" with your singular case study data point, would be to compare how happy you are with your pre-25 year old marriage, to how happy you are to your post 25-year old choice of life partner. What's that? you don't have a time machine to perform that experiment? So, because you don't have the necessary base rate to compare your current happiness to, your point that you got married before your frontal lobe was fully formed and you are "happy" doesn't invalidate the point that it's tougher to make decisions about relationships before one is 25.
Sigh. Is this for real? The OP asked an emotion based question, and you are responding with scientific facts. Like asking for apples and getting Massengil. Both valid individually, but given the context of her question, no relation one to the other.0
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