"Fluffy" Ladies: Does your man...
Replies
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My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
Love this^^ :drinker:
My husband and I got married at 16 and 18. This March it will be 19 yrs and we still love each other. I hate being naked around him because I was 145 lbs at 5'6" when we met I am now 268 lbs and I hate the way I look, however, he never makes me feel bad about it and for some odd reason he still likes to see me naked, I call him a sicko because of it, but in reality his love for ME shows through and it makes me fall in love with him all over again.0 -
As my husband says ... Men are visual creatures.
Show him the goods :happy:0 -
Heck yeah, in all of my glory. He loves me, fluffy and all. I am not offended by the term fluffy, nor I am offended by the term fat, obese or otherwise. It merely is the shell to my soul. My soul right now just happens to curvy, round, luscious & warm for my DH to cuddle and nuzzle with & in. Embrace who you are at the moment & love your body where you are at. Not when. Confidence goes a long way, that is for sure.0
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Ya, but doesnt mean i am proud of what i look like standing up naked with the lights on. i would reather be clothed, and lights off lol0
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everyday haha0
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Life is too short to hide in the shadows.0
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365lbs or heavier and has seen it all!!! Best time was having a litle fun out on the boat in the middlle of the lake completely naked....MMMMM sunshine nookie is the best.0
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Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
What does this have to do with anything? My husband and I started dating at 15, we married at 21, and are currently 29, happily married, 1 child and have been told we still act like newly weds...
The divorce statistics are describing divorces from the year 1990. Not really inferential there.0 -
My husband hasn't seen me naked in the light since my boys were born either, don't let anyone on here judge ya. I know just how you feel. Especially since when my hubby and I started dating he swore he would never date a girl bigger then him and I am more like two of him now0
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My husband sees me standing up (or dancing) naked in the day light all the time. He also likes the lights on during intimate times. I've had 2 kids.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sure you feel it more strongly than anything he would think. But, it's ok to feel the way you do. And I'm sure he respects you for having children. I can understand feeling less confident. That's why I work at my fitness because I am hard on myself that way.
Edit: Oh, no, I'm sorry. I just realized this was addressed to women that are wanting to lose weight. I probably should not have responded.0 -
Gurllll....You need to let your man show you how beautiful you really are!!! You also need to see how beautiful you really are. I'm glad I don't look like everyone else. I've never had a poor self image and lemme tell ya, I've been a size 5 and a size 26! I was still me, just a different kind of physical me. You need to discover "YOU"! Girl, I wish we could go have coffee together cuz I could talk to someone about how special they are allll day long. Stand infront of the mirror naked, get used to you, then stand infront of the mirror with him and let him show you what he loves. I bet he loves things about you that you didn't even think was attractive!! God Bless sweet girl!!!!0
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Yep. My man and I have been living together for over 2 years and were off and on before that.
He's a chubby chaser and tells me I'm sexy all the time.
Even after I developed cellulite.
I want to get in shape to look better for me, not because I'm afraid of losing him. Actually, I've seen most of his exes on FB or met them and I'm better looking proportionally and thinner than most of them.0 -
My husband hasn't seen me naked in the light since my boys were born either, don't let anyone on here judge ya. I know just how you feel. Especially since when my hubby and I started dating he swore he would never date a girl bigger then him and I am more like two of him now
See, that's what I was saying before. You say things like that when you're young. You've lived your life together, and have become one in many ways. I'm not saying you *should* let him see you in the light, you do what's comfortable for you. But I'm willing to bet that he doesn't care so much anymore. You don't have to be confident in your appearance if you can be confident in your love for each other.0 -
Yup he does.0
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Yes. Every inch. & I am more than 'fluffy'
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I'm 43; we've been married 23 years....my husband sees me naked all the time when I was fat, since I lost weight....in the shower, in the tub, when I gave birth, I do not have a perfect body; I've never had a perfect body nor will I ever; however I have no problems parading around naked. :bigsmile: But then we are empty nesters...oops I better straighten up 'cause the boy is coming home at the end of the month for a couple of weeks.0
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I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years. He's seen ever nook and cranny.
I'm 258lbs, and he loves me exactly how I am.
He sees me naked all the time0 -
My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
You have a God-given obligation to share your wisdom and insight. Thank you.0 -
My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
*wipes tear* You sir are simply amazing
:flowerforyou: 0 -
My story:
I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).
We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.
Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.
That was beautiful. Love it, best post x0 -
I recomend "Naked Tuesday." We established it a few years ago when I decided to shock my husband by going about my day naked - did some laundry, dishes, etc. It was pretty hilarious to see his face when I walked by naked with a laundry basket. Happened to be a Tuesday & we kinda just made it a thing. I'll admit it doesn't happen every Tuesday, but it's a fun way to keep things playful. For those of you holding on to insecurities, try sporting some sexy lingerie, something you feel comfortable in.0
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Quite the reverse. The lights are always on. I'd say he's seen too much lol0
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When I was 22 and divorced with a toddler, a much wiser friend of mine knew I was feeling insecure about becoming intimate (i.e. getting naked in front of) with a man if I started dating again. She told me that when a man in into you, he doesn't see the things that we see. I was thin back then, but still had a lot of stretch marks from being pregnant. I hated how my body looked.
A few months later, I met the man who would become my husband, when I was 23 and he was 30. She was right. He was gaga over me and never seemed to notice the stretch marks. I still didn't get intimate with him in the light or even completely unclothed. I was too shy to do that.
Jump forward 23 years and I am, right now, 40 lbs heavier than I was back then and he's 60 lbs heavier than he was back then. I walk around naked, he sees me get into and out of the shower, he comes into the bathroom right after I get out of the shower while I am still undressed and he can't keep his hands off from me. He tells me regularly how sexy he finds my body. He obviously sees something totally different than I do when I look in the mirror, but he loves what he sees and tells me that all the time. We don't even think about it, when we are intimate, the lights are on and unless I have on some lingerie, we are both naked. We sleep naked at night. This may all stem not only from becoming older, but because we have been together for so long that we are totally comfortable with each other.0 -
:laugh: :laugh:I can't imagine living like that. I'd be worried she'd grown testicles or something.0 -
I see my wife naked daily. she is more beautiful since having our son! Sounds like you have a self esteem issue.0
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I usually keep the lights off...and I cover up as soon as possible. It's an issue I have. :-/0
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A. Completely irrelevant to this post.Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
B. Marrying AFTER the age of 25 is a relatively new concept. So is divorce.
Actually, you're off on point B. Average age at marriage hit an all time low (late teens to early 20s) in the 50s, but before that, throughout U.S. history, marriage in the late 20s was the norm. Europe had similar traditions. Also, keep in mind that expectations about marriage have changed radically over the last 100 years or so. It used to be your were a good husband if you provided for your family materially and didn't beat anyone too badly. A good wife took care of the kids and the household, including working in or outside of the home for money to help support the family. Today we have all these ideas about personal fulfillment, and finding a person to complete us--expectations are much higher, meaning it is likely to take longer to find the "right person."
Edited to change "eat" to "beat," although eating your children or wife was also unacceptable.0 -
Yes he sure does. At first in our relationship I was definitely shy about my weight/stretchmarks/wobbly bits, but then I got to know the man I love more and saw that none of that mattered to him at all, so now, he see's me naked on a daily basis, all the nooks and cranies and everything. Now I am at the point where I am no longer shy, or jump into bed once I dress down, I embrace it , becuase he loves it, wobbly bits and all and tells me everytime I am naked how beautiful he thinks I am, sure I may not believe it half the time, but that is my issue, not his haha0
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One thing that is hard for women (some) to understand… men… especially their man…. DO NOT SEE WHAT YOU SEE. PERIOD. Now toss on something sexy, toss on some music, turn on the lights, and strip for him. I promise you… nothing but amazing things will come from it!
^^^This0 -
A. Completely irrelevant to this post.Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.
Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm
B. Marrying AFTER the age of 25 is a relatively new concept. So is divorce.
Actually, you're off on point B. Average age at marriage hit an all time low (late teens to early 20s) in the 50s, but before that, throughout U.S. history, marriage in the late 20s was the norm. Europe had similar traditions. Also, keep in mind that expectations about marriage have changed radically over the last 100 years or so. It used to be your were a good husband if you provided for your family materially and didn't beat anyone too badly. A good wife took care of the kids and the household, including working in or outside of the home for money to help support the family. Today we have all these ideas about personal fulfillment, and finding a person to complete us--expectations are much higher, meaning it is likely to take longer to find the "right person."
Edited to change "eat" to "beat," although eating your children or wife was also unacceptable.
I totally agree that the expectations of marriage are at an all-time high. It's as though people expect the honeymoon to last forever, along with having a totally perfect empath as a mate. I also must point out that 'settling' is a part of every relationship, since it's impossible to find a total clone of yourself. Even if this were possible, you would probably tire of it and crave novelty in your partner.
I might point out that the 'repressed' married women of the '50's frequently had rich and varied friendships with other women. They also weren't nearly as expected to be perfect mothers. The helicopter parent hadn't been invented yet, and most kids were expected to learn many things alone without a guiding parent hovering over them.
I think the expectations and pressures on families to be 'perfect' have never been worse.0
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