Grr! I am so mad at myself!

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  • BeingAwesome247
    BeingAwesome247 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    My sister was diagnosed with celiac's disease after she had her first child.
    When she got pregnant for her 2nd child, all she wanted was chocolate cake - but she wanted a healthy baby more and a gluten attack while pregnant can cause premature labor & delivery.
    She's now pregnant with her 3rd child. She does pregnant yoga and wants pasta alfredo so bad - but again she wants a healthy baby more.

    It's about choices and what's more important.

    I was a heavy smoker when I got pregnant for my daughter - I quit cold turkey without a second thought. I wasn't sure to be honest if I was even ready to be a mom when I got pregnant for her but just the same, it was my job to protect her and make sure I was creating a healthy environment for her in the womb.

    People aren't being rude, they're being honest - there's a difference.
  • hmadrone
    hmadrone Posts: 129 Member
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    I have four kids, too, and I think a lot of the people responding to this thread have no idea how much work it is to be pregnant and caring for a bunch of young kids. It's hard to find the time to make yourself a nice slimming meal, let alone sit down to eat it. You're always fixing food for the kids, and they often don't eat all of it. You can feel like you need to finish that half waffle they left or be so exhausted that all you can do is grab a quick bite.

    Looking at your diary, it sounds to me like you need to focus more on protein and vegetables. Have carrots and apples around and eat those when you need to grab a quick bite. Get cheese sticks or healthy jerky or raw nuts for when you need a pick-me-up. Keep cooked chicken, a container of tuna or salmon, cooked veggies, or salads you've made in the fridge so you can make yourself a quick healthy lunch. Look for low glycemic index foods and stock up on those so that you have something healthy available when the munchies strike.
  • LaSutopia
    LaSutopia Posts: 1,195 Member
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    OP, First, do me a favor. Read my comment, click on my profile and friend me, then STOP READING THIS THREAD. I know where you are at right now and I can talk to you if you want by messaging. I understand how you feel and why you responded the way you did to what everyone else said, further reading will only continue to make you feel bad at this point....second I want you to know that what I am about to tell you is out of love and understanding how you feel. While everyone's advice may have been very blunt, they are mostly true....and it is the same stuff I have had to say to myself along the way. Third, There have been more comments than I cared to read responding to OPs hurt feelings....and I am sorry. None of it is helpful, just offended people wanting to defend their feelings and views. I often get offended by the things people say and I know that most the time I need to just let it go. I wish that when people offended others they would realize that it does not matter if they were right or wrong, they hurt someones feelings, and if the offending advice had truly been meant to help, given out of love, then they would apologize for upsetting the person. PLEASE KNOW there is a difference for being sorry a persons feelings are hurt and being sorry for what you said....what you said may be valid and true and maybe the person really does not have a reason to be offended but they are and that is what matters....It is not our place to tell people how they should feel and what they should be offended or not by. Just think about how you feel when someone offends you. Why do we keep hurting each other?? Im sure there are going to be people that read this and get offended and angry at me and will want to tell me just how they feel about me and what I have said....I am sorry. Truth is hard to hear sometimes, I know, I have a lot of truths that are hard for me to swallow but they are true anyway and it helps to take them if I know the person giving them to me really cares about me and is not just telling me off. That is the problem...with the first comment that triggered this, the OP did not feel like that person really cared about her and was just giving "tough love" and that is common here because giving that kind of "tough love" and not offending requires and trusting relationship, one that we just don't have with complete strangers on this website....So please just try to respond to people with love and caring the way you would want. And I don't mean you have to "baby" people, just be respectful. People will still take offense to things even if you believe you are being totally respectful and helpful and at those times I would ask that you just try to understand that the person is just hurt and try to see it from their place.....we all need help and support at different time and we might not understand how someone could possibly think of feel the way they do, but they do and they need support. If you think they are completely nuts and can't think of anything really helpful to tell them other than "your nuts get help" then just pass on that thread and go to another that you can help better with.........anyway just my thoughts, trying to help us all not hurt each other. Sorry if it came out a little scattered, my kids where distracting me a lot lol. :)
  • hmadrone
    hmadrone Posts: 129 Member
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    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    That was the best advice you were going to get here, OP.

    It's not particularly useful advice. It gives her no new information, no possible workarounds for any problems she might be facing, no strategies for dealing with all the difficulties and complications in her life. It's just a slap in the face that she didn't need.

    She already knows she's blowing it, diet-wise. She had her tiger by the tail, and then this pregnancy threw her for a loop. Pregnancy does that. Foods you were eating happily suddenly make you want to puke, and other foods suddenly taste soooooo good.
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
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    Sheesh, aren't you getting some nice replies? :wink:

    Are you drinking lots of water? That might help control the hunger. I was bad when I was PG and with my first I gained almost 40 lbs. Make sure you're keeping your sugar in check, and make sure your Dr is keeping a close eye on you with the diabetes. When I was pg with my 2nd I had to keep a food diary, and show my Doctor/Dietician. Is your doctor having you do this?

    Is your hubby supportive? Maybe ask him for help? :) Good luck!! It's not easy growing a little person inside you!

    I do drink a lot of water... that's one thing I'm doing right. lol. And my doctor does have me keep a record of my blood sugar - Fasting, breakfast, lunch, dinner. They have been great so far - 90s - 110s. But I know if I don't get back on track soon, they might go up later on in the pregnancy.

    My husband is a healthy eater (usually) and he works out every day.... he's in great shape. So he sets a good example but as far as being supportive, he isn't really because he's never here. It's not his fault though. He works 10-12 hours a day, 6 - 7 days a week so he's not much help. lol
  • stunningalmond
    stunningalmond Posts: 275 Member
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    Sheesh, aren't you getting some nice replies? :wink:

    Are you drinking lots of water? That might help control the hunger. I was bad when I was PG and with my first I gained almost 40 lbs. Make sure you're keeping your sugar in check, and make sure your Dr is keeping a close eye on you with the diabetes. When I was pg with my 2nd I had to keep a food diary, and show my Doctor/Dietician. Is your doctor having you do this?

    Is your hubby supportive? Maybe ask him for help? :) Good luck!! It's not easy growing a little person inside you!

    I do drink a lot of water... that's one thing I'm doing right. lol. And my doctor does have me keep a record of my blood sugar - Fasting, breakfast, lunch, dinner. They have been great so far - 90s - 110s. But I know if I don't get back on track soon, they might go up later on in the pregnancy.

    My husband is a healthy eater (usually) and he works out every day.... he's in great shape. So he sets a good example but as far as being supportive, he isn't really because he's never here. It's not his fault though. He works 10-12 hours a day, 6 - 7 days a week so he's not much help. lol

    I see... my hubby is supportive in some ways and really not supportive in other ways. Like, he'll eat chips right in front of me when he knows I'm leaving soon for the gym. Lol!

    Anyway, I agree with the poster who suggested keeping more veggies on-hand as easy to grab snacks. When I'm making supper, I get SUPER hungry and would always grab a cheese string or cookies but now I'm reaching for a carrot instead. Baby steps right? :)
  • stunningalmond
    stunningalmond Posts: 275 Member
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    OP, First, do me a favor. Read my comment, click on my profile and friend me, then STOP READING THIS THREAD. I know where you are at right now and I can talk to you if you want by messaging. I understand how you feel and why you responded the way you did to what everyone else said, further reading will only continue to make you feel bad at this point....second I want you to know that what I am about to tell you is out of love and understanding how you feel. While everyone's advice may have been very blunt, they are mostly true....and it is the same stuff I have had to say to myself along the way. Third, There have been more comments than I cared to read responding to OPs hurt feelings....and I am sorry. None of it is helpful, just offended people wanting to defend their feelings and views. I often get offended by the things people say and I know that most the time I need to just let it go. I wish that when people offended others they would realize that it does not matter if they were right or wrong, they hurt someones feelings, and if the offending advice had truly been meant to help, given out of love, then they would apologize for upsetting the person. PLEASE KNOW there is a difference for being sorry a persons feelings are hurt and being sorry for what you said....what you said may be valid and true and maybe the person really does not have a reason to be offended but they are and that is what matters....It is not our place to tell people how they should feel and what they should be offended or not by. Just think about how you feel when someone offends you. Why do we keep hurting each other?? Im sure there are going to be people that read this and get offended and angry at me and will want to tell me just how they feel about me and what I have said....I am sorry. Truth is hard to hear sometimes, I know, I have a lot of truths that are hard for me to swallow but they are true anyway and it helps to take them if I know the person giving them to me really cares about me and is not just telling me off. That is the problem...with the first comment that triggered this, the OP did not feel like that person really cared about her and was just giving "tough love" and that is common here because giving that kind of "tough love" and not offending requires and trusting relationship, one that we just don't have with complete strangers on this website....So please just try to respond to people with love and caring the way you would want. And I don't mean you have to "baby" people, just be respectful. People will still take offense to things even if you believe you are being totally respectful and helpful and at those times I would ask that you just try to understand that the person is just hurt and try to see it from their place.....we all need help and support at different time and we might not understand how someone could possibly think of feel the way they do, but they do and they need support. If you think they are completely nuts and can't think of anything really helpful to tell them other than "your nuts get help" then just pass on that thread and go to another that you can help better with.........anyway just my thoughts, trying to help us all not hurt each other. Sorry if it came out a little scattered, my kids where distracting me a lot lol. :)

    Very well said :) You are awesome! :)
  • MamaEdmund
    MamaEdmund Posts: 70 Member
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    I also perpetually gained too much weight when pregnant (e.g., starting out an "average" weight and packing on 50-55 pounds with a singleton pregnancy), finally with all the fallout, when I was pregnant the third time I said "not this time" and the biggest change I made was skipping the seconds and thirds on dessert (amazing how those add up) and going to the gym about 3-4 times a week for some cardio. It made a huge difference in the way my body was able to cope with the weight gain and I didn't gain as much--but I did gain a lot at first in the pregnancy. I think that's how a lot of subsequent pregnancies fall, unless you're quite nauseous at the first trimester.

    My advice would be--get out of the house! Take your kids to the park and on walks to avoid the temptation of grabbing a little something everytime you're in the kitchen. I fall into that habit, too, and then I realize when I've spent a day out that I haven't snacked and really haven't been hungry either.

    My other thing was, even with my third WAY healthier pregnancy, getting on the scale at the midwife's office started to defeat me--I knew I was going to gain weight, and I knew I was working out so I thought the gains would be different.......I finally told the midwife I wasn't going to weigh myself anymore because I didn't want to see me get over a certain number, and I'm sure I did, but it was a nice mental break for me. I did my best eating well and exercising, and I wasn't going to let the inside voice undo all the good I was doing for my babe by being active.

    You're doing great. You're baby is growing well, and don't look at the numbers on a scale. They are at this point irrelevant and working against you. Make a playdate with a friend so you're not tempted to snack at your own place. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it. Hang in there, Mama!
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
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    I also perpetually gained too much weight when pregnant (e.g., starting out an "average" weight and packing on 50-55 pounds with a singleton pregnancy), finally with all the fallout, when I was pregnant the third time I said "not this time" and the biggest change I made was skipping the seconds and thirds on dessert (amazing how those add up) and going to the gym about 3-4 times a week for some cardio. It made a huge difference in the way my body was able to cope with the weight gain and I didn't gain as much--but I did gain a lot at first in the pregnancy. I think that's how a lot of subsequent pregnancies fall, unless you're quite nauseous at the first trimester.

    My advice would be--get out of the house! Take your kids to the park and on walks to avoid the temptation of grabbing a little something everytime you're in the kitchen. I fall into that habit, too, and then I realize when I've spent a day out that I haven't snacked and really haven't been hungry either.

    My other thing was, even with my third WAY healthier pregnancy, getting on the scale at the midwife's office started to defeat me--I knew I was going to gain weight, and I knew I was working out so I thought the gains would be different.......I finally told the midwife I wasn't going to weigh myself anymore because I didn't want to see me get over a certain number, and I'm sure I did, but it was a nice mental break for me. I did my best eating well and exercising, and I wasn't going to let the inside voice undo all the good I was doing for my babe by being active.

    You're doing great. You're baby is growing well, and don't look at the numbers on a scale. They are at this point irrelevant and working against you. Make a playdate with a friend so you're not tempted to snack at your own place. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it. Hang in there, Mama!

    Thanks : )

    I have already decided I'm going to stop weighing myself as much. I always weigh in every Monday and I think I'm going to cut it back to once a month... maybe not at all. Because I know I will gain weight... I'm pregnant. So there is no point in weighing myself and just getting disappointed every time!