Everyone here is so mean
Replies
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Saying "just do it" when someone is asking for strategies is not supportive nor tough love.
Saying "just do it" once in awhile is one thing, but what I often see here is people posting this platitude, then being cruel when the OP says it isn't helpful. It is not helpful. No platitude ever is. Some people just wanted a pat on the head and they shouldn't get it, but others are looking for steps to take.
I stopped smoking cold turkey, but I didn't just do it. I found things to replace my old habit, I avoided trigger locations, etc.0 -
And I just found the thread that inspired this:
-I keep eating junk, I need to be motivated to make better choices!!!
-You should stop eating junk for your health.
-YOU PEOPLE ARE SO MEAN!!
Yes, meanness is directly derived from common sense and/or a difference in opinion. True story.0 -
All I know is that when my little feelings get hurt, I ask myself, "What would Sam Elliot do?" Then I comb my mustache, wipe away my tears, man up, and get a pedicure. <---Stone-cold truth.0
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Unicorns and rainbows.0
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warm fuzzies for all :O)
No.
Warm fuzzies are the gateway drug of evil. 0 -
Hello new years resolvers of 2013.
You might notice that people here seem maybe mean sometimes, or snarky, or say things that make you sad.
Before you decide that these people are trying to make you sad, please consider that they may be trying to help you:
"TRY HARDER" is more motivating than "take it easy"
"YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" is more motivating than "you already look great"
"STOP WHINING" is more more motivating than "there there, bubula, cry on my shoulder"
"GET STARTED NOW" is more motivating than "spend a week coming up with a plan and see if you lose weight planning."
The journey of 1,000 miles starts with but a single step . . . in the right direction . . . and you'll get there faster if you run.
NAW THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE GET DELETED FROM MY FRIENDS LIST FOR BEING NEGATIVE. i
'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THNKS THAT WAY!! I DO A HELL OF ALOT BETTER WITHOUT NEGATIVITY0 -
True story, and the moral here is this: The people on here who have the least patience for BS, stupidity, and excuses, and have the greatest tendency to respond to such with sarcasm and attitude are often the people you want to pay the most attention to. They're the ones who have been there and done that, so when you take the advice of someone else who is still struggling to achieve their goals over theirs, yeah. You'll get looked down on. Deal with it.0
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I just started today. Thanks for the heads up. I will take those phrases as motivation rather than "mean".0
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I stopped smoking cold turkey, but I didn't just do it. I found things to replace my old habit, I avoided trigger locations, etc.
Great example! Let's do a quick scene:
Person 1: [asks for help to quit smoking techniques]
Person 2: [gives a good example like chewing cinammon sticks]
Person 3: [says go cold turkey, tough it out ya wuss!]
Person 1: [says that's not helpful and person 3 is mean]
For person 3, they are probably telling person 1 what they themselves had to do in order to quit - namely, calling themselves names, getting angry; also, they're trying to get person excited about stopping in exactly the same way.
I tend to believe in the whole 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' approach. I say thanks to all, I take what I want and throw out the rest. Or, I mark their names down in a small notebook that I keep, under the heading "Enemies List," and wait for my time to come . . . mwwahahhhahah!!!!0 -
Hmmm, i am fairly new to this site & i guess i haven't been here long enough to know what "mean" is....I just know that I love brutal honesty but i don't like personal attacks & being insulted.0
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I just started today. Thanks for the heads up. I will take those phrases as motivation rather than "mean".
Good on you.
Remember not everything is always as it seems. A lot of "mean, snarky" people will be your best friends and the biggest help you could ever find on this site.
A lot of "sweet, kind, helpful" are no help at all. They've been here forever without losing much weight. Because if it's too hard you don't want to bother, or the gym is full of meanies, or any other of a hundred excuses why they can't lose weight.
There's always grey area, but it is true that a lot of times it's the choice between the "No excuses, get off your *kitten*" approach or "Hey honey it's ok, you tried a little, have some cake" mentality.
One way gets results. Guess which.0 -
I stopped smoking cold turkey, but I didn't just do it. I found things to replace my old habit, I avoided trigger locations, etc.
Great example! Let's do a quick scene:
Person 1: [asks for help to quit smoking techniques]
Person 2: [gives a good example like chewing cinammon sticks]
Person 3: [says go cold turkey, tough it out ya wuss!]
Person 1: [says that's not helpful and person 3 is mean]
For person 3, they are probably telling person 1 what they themselves had to do in order to quit - namely, calling themselves names, getting angry; also, they're trying to get person excited about stopping in exactly the same way.
I tend to believe in the whole 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' approach. I say thanks to all, I take what I want and throw out the rest. Or, I mark their names down in a small notebook that I keep, under the heading "Enemies List," and wait for my time to come . . . mwwahahhhahah!!!!
Jane Fonda, Daniel Shore, Jack Anderson. Hey! This is Richard Nixon's enemies list. You just crossed out his name and put yours.0 -
The mean people tend to be the ones who have been there and done it and know what kind of attitude you need to keep to do it. Not to mention they know wth they're talking about.
If it was easy, everyone would be fit. These meanies are just trying to let you know what it takes.0 -
Crankstr is mean to me....which is why her advice is valuable0
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Hello new years resolvers of 2013.
You might notice that people here seem maybe mean sometimes, or snarky, or say things that make you sad.
Before you decide that these people are trying to make you sad, please consider that they may be trying to help you:
"TRY HARDER" is more motivating than "take it easy"
"YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" is more motivating than "you already look great"
"STOP WHINING" is more more motivating than "there there, bubula, cry on my shoulder"
"GET STARTED NOW" is more motivating than "spend a week coming up with a plan and see if you lose weight planning."
The journey of 1,000 miles starts with but a single step . . . in the right direction . . . and you'll get there faster if you run.
Love this!!!0 -
Love it!0 -
Nuff said.......
the mean ones are the most motivating and the ones who help to push. Maybe they aren't trying to be mean and it's just the way the post has been read.......0 -
No, you're wrong, they are mean.
^ this.
they're poopy heads too.
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Great example! Let's do a quick scene:
Person 1: [asks for help to quit smoking techniques]
Person 2: [gives a good example like chewing cinammon sticks]
Person 3: [says go cold turkey, tough it out ya wuss!]
Person 1: [says that's not helpful and person 3 is mean]
For person 3, they are probably telling person 1 what they themselves had to do in order to quit - namely, calling themselves names, getting angry; also, they're trying to get person excited about stopping in exactly the same way.
I tend to believe in the whole 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' approach. I say thanks to all, I take what I want and throw out the rest. Or, I mark their names down in a small notebook that I keep, under the heading "Enemies List," and wait for my time to come . . . mwwahahhhahah!!!!
Yup exactly. I may not care for how some people on here phrase things or the words they use, but I try to take the wise parts of their advice and leave the rest. I know that I am not very far along on my goals compared to many here, which is why the advice is always good. At the same time, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.0 -
Its a pet peeve of mine when people call something 'mean' when what they really mean is that they didn't want to be held accountable.
"Mean" is all about intent. If I say "You're horribly fat because you keep cookies in your house and you're going to stay that way" That is mean. I meant to insult the person, but if I say "You don't seem to be setting yourself up for success by keeping Oreos around. If you're serious about making a change, the cookies need to go" that isn't mean.
exactly!0 -
i thought it was "whigning"
didn't we decide that?
no?
losen up :drinker:
nayled it!0 -
well said!0
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Its a pet peeve of mine when people call something 'mean' when what they really mean is that they didn't want to be held accountable.
"Mean" is all about intent. If I say "You're horribly fat because you keep cookies in your house and you're going to stay that way" That is mean. I meant to insult the person, but if I say "You don't seem to be setting yourself up for success by keeping Oreos around. If you're serious about making a change, the cookies need to go" that isn't mean.
exactly!
ooops...i meant to reply to this hee-hee.....well said!0 -
Anyone that wants to be on a site like this and undergo the arduous task of losing weight or getting in shape HAS GOT TO grow thicker skin. People (like me) are not going to hold your hand and sweet talk into your ear. You're going to have to be able to take orders and even take criticism in order to get where you want to be.0
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i like people like this who motivate you . I dont like the people who treat you like your stupid because you ask a question.0
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I prefer the mean.0
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I wish people were this mean everywhere! The world would be a better place. :laugh:0
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i would rather someone be honest and blunt to me, then sugar coat it.. sugar coating only adds calories after all!!!! i know im fat, i know im unhealthy, but atleast im giving it my all to get better. if you want to flake off and continue to be the way you are, thats not MY fault..0
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Hello new years resolvers of 2013.
You might notice that people here seem maybe mean sometimes, or snarky, or say things that make you sad.
Before you decide that these people are trying to make you sad, please consider that they may be trying to help you:
"TRY HARDER" is more motivating than "take it easy"
"YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" is more motivating than "you already look great"
"STOP WHINING" is more more motivating than "there there, bubula, cry on my shoulder"
"GET STARTED NOW" is more motivating than "spend a week coming up with a plan and see if you lose weight planning."
The journey of 1,000 miles starts with but a single step . . . in the right direction . . . and you'll get there faster if you run.
true story.....if someone seems mean ......take a look at their ticker...or their profile pictures....
sometimes they are being mean because they know exactly what it took for them to get there...
WOW Congratualtions to you!
And yes, those who have already traveled the road, know the terrain. Take advice from those who offer it. Harshness is sometimes required to make people understand whether or not they are ready to do what is needed to reach their goals.0 -
i didn't get laid over the weekend...that is why i am so mean.0
This discussion has been closed.
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