Constructive criticism, please! Sheesh!

Firefox7275

Sometimes it is overly sensitive people reading negative 'tone of voice' or imagining negative facial expressions where there is none. Many phrases can be read in more that one way, why do you choose to read nasty connotations or tone? People aren't paid to post here or spend time sugar coating their responses to someone else's standards. We all have different posting styles some of us are naturally more straight talking/ honest/ blunt than others, maybe you need to be more tolerant to the differences in this world instead of expecting everyone to be an empathetic Stepford wife? Aren't we all about keeping it real here? Don't we embrace cultural differences?

And I am genuinely sorry if you think the above is rude, it is not meant to be - read frustration. People try to help and they get bashed for telling the truth. I actually think you owe some people an apology.

Junken_Diraffe

Honey, if you thought that thread was rude, this REALLY isn't the place for you. I did not see one rude comment. Everyone was pleasant and trying to help. You are FAR too sensitive! You definitely need a thicker skin if you're going to post in the forums. Just like any site, you'll get all kinds here. Most people who are truly knowledgable tend to not sugar coat anything and will give it to you straight. Honestly, that is what most people need. Few are prepared for that though.

It sounded to me like you were looking for someone to say, "it's okay sweetie, you'll get 'em next time!". While that may be true, you're MUCH more likely to get where you need to be if you take suggestions and criticism well, and learn from it. Don't be so defensive.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Sweet_Pea0107

Honestly the only rude person on that thread was you. You made a claim that you were "spot on" and when people called you out saying you were no "spot on" you got all upset. Frankly I don't sugar coat and there are many people on here that don't sugar coat either. All those people were telling you the TRUTH. It isn't really their fault you can't take it. These forums are not for the over sensitive.

mathildapops

Hi, I've only been doing this a week and believe me my food diary was shocking! However seeing it in black & white has helped me motivate myself into making changes (mainly alcohol, 800kcal one day!!) sometimes it may take someone else to point out where you may be struggling, however I do agree it needs to be done in a way as to be constructive criticism not destructive criticism!
Good luck & stay strong, add me if you like. X

lilpoindexter

Just do deadlifts and squats and everything will be ok. Lift heavy.

determinedbutlazy

Just do deadlifts and squats and everything will be ok. Lift heavy.

Ha!

atthompson27

I didn't read your thread (& perhaps I should before responding) but since I've had a similar experience, I feel I can go ahead & speak on it. I totally agree with you. Everyone should know that there's a difference between being blunt & being rude.
Blunt: "You're eating too much sodium, this will make you retain water & contribute to weight gain" or "You're eating way too much fat! Ease up & you might lose." "Don't buy into the diet pill hype/crap. Just focus on calories in/calories out."
Rude: "If you buy into that you're a sucker"
Being rude or TRYING to be witty isn't necessary, & that's what I see a lot of people doing on here. Just give feedback. Some people are completely ignorant to the nutritional decisions required to improve their health. You may think that doesn't make sense, but it is what it is. At least they're on here trying to get help. If you knew everything & had it all together then you wouldn't be on here either now would you?
I'm a member of other groups & blogs & this is the only one related to weight loss & the people on here are the rudest & provide the most terse responses. Maybe there's a correlation?
Try inviting some some select, encouraging friends on here & having discussions with them. That may be more helpful.

atthompson27

Great feedback! I 2nd that.

atthompson27

I don't need nice-nice, and I don't need rude either. This entire website is everyone attacking everyone in this forum. Not just mine, but many others I've seen. Not really sure why people can't be a LITTLE nicer when delivering information.

I think that comes from a number of things.
A glut of "attention" seeking threads where people either boast about eating below 1200, hence much flaming, or... statements that they are not losing, and with diary open, sometimes results in flaming.

None of this is an exact science, but there is a lot you can do to make it more so.
A little research into things like your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) & Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) will help you understand broadly what you should eat each day, and what you can eat at a deficit to help with losing weight,
Logging as accurately as you can is half the battle

I have someone on my friend list cheering me on/nagging me about my water intake, for example.
What they don't realise is that before I came on here, I was terrible, TERRIBLE about drinking water - so managing 4-5 cups a day is a HUGE thing for me - so do I get irritated when they are all "hey drink more"? No - they are trying to encourage as best they can based on what little they know about me.

Perhaps maybe only have your diary open to people you choose to friend, and ask for opinions among a smaller group.

But above all - this takes LOTS of tweaking and adjusting... it's not a sprint...
It took me two weeks before I even really got to grips with the whole logging, and getting over the horror of what I was putting away.
It took a good month to learn what worked for me - some weeks I gained, some weeks static...
It took me 4 months before I was even ready to get my head around the effects of BMR, TDEE and deficits and how that might work for me...

Please.. be patient, and find a way to make the site work for you. As blunt as people are in the forums, that is the nature of the internetz... I find them a great source (sometimes) for information, I do my own research, and I tweak my own goals and above all - you need to be on here for YOU, not for the virtual support you think you're gonna get!
Build up a small but decent bunch of similar goaled friends and work within those parameters... that may well work better for you.

Good luck with your journey.

Great feedback. I 2nd that!

Sweet_Pea0107

I didn't read your thread (& perhaps I should before responding) but since I've had a similar experience, I feel I can go ahead & speak on it. I totally agree with you. Everyone should know that there's a difference between being blunt & being rude.
Blunt: "You're eating too much sodium, this will make you retain water & contribute to weight gain" or "You're eating way too much fat! Ease up & you might lose." "Don't buy into the diet pill hype/crap. Just focus on calories in/calories out."
Rude: "If you buy into that you're a sucker"
Being rude or TRYING to be witty isn't necessary, & that's what I see a lot of people doing on here. Just give feedback. Some people are completely ignorant to the nutritional decisions required to improve their health. You may think that doesn't make sense, but it is what it is. At least they're on here trying to get help. If you knew everything & had it all together then you wouldn't be on here either now would you?
I'm a member of other groups & blogs & this is the only one related to weight loss & the people on here are the rudest & provide the most terse responses. Maybe there's a correlation?
Try inviting some some select, encouraging friends on here & having discussions with them. That may be more helpful.

You probably should have taken the time to read the previous thread...

LizardQueen4PointOh

Don't mind me... *scarfs down a handful of popcorn*