Keeping it to yourself??

KodAkuraMacKyen

Trying to keep your goals to yourself from the people closest to you will never work. Support is a MAJOR factor in weight-loss, and to be frankly honest MFP isnt full of the "best" supporters.

I disagree with this as well. I kept it quiet from my friends and family for a long time and got the best support from MFP who were trying to do the same thing. There are some asshats on MFP but if you come across them, block them and spend some time finding the really good people here. I have a rocking friends list who I get the motivation from rather than friends and family. Best of luck to you!

Kitkat_58

I tried keeping it to myself, but the second day at work a co-worker looked at me and said "Water??? Where is your Pepsi?" So I told her what I was doing. 41 lbs later others are noticing, so no more hiding. My husband is also losing weight, between us we have lost 87 lbs. We have had nothing but encouragement from those around us.

timic2013

Only my husband and two daughters know. I am also trying to keep it private from friends and work. I feel the same that it creates too much pressure and I would rather do it for myself and when I succeed, it will be a big surprise to everyone else who didn't know about it. My husband is the best supporter a woman could ever have and that has motivated me and my two daughters have been supportive as well! I am only 5 days into it and am very new to My fitness pal, but I am loving it so far! Good luck to you!

clareBrewster80

I'm using this site instead of facebook as I find it far more supportive. My family at home know what I'm up to, but how could they not, with me going around scannng all the barcodes of everything I eat and drink lol. However, at work, if I am offered naughty food then I just sat, 'no thanks, I'm trying to cut down' No more no less. If some one was to ask me directly, I would talk about it, but I'm a teacher and get very little time to sit in the staff room if I want to leave work b4 6pm and be amum, a wife and a gym bunny. x

Wargamergal

Do whatever works for you - i haven't shouted it from the rooftops but i guess if anyone asks i will tell them. My family and Boyfriend know, but that is about it

Kirakira127

I keep it to myself, it works out better that way for me. I don't need "support" cramping my style. My rocky winding road to my goal is just hampered by one-track minds. I've lost a lot of weight, but over A LOT of time.

amili045

I kept my goals a secret back when I initially dropped 40lbs. I think support is a good thing but I didnt want to tell anyone because I was very determined and I wanted people to notice on there own OR not lol. When you drop 20 lbs people take notice and it feels really good when someone who hasnt seen you in a while gives a compliment. I was quietly determined. Support is a very big thing tho so I told my best friend, someone I trusted. But it was my own private thing and I wanted to do it for myself and not because I told a bunch of people and then had to make good on what I'd said I wanted to accomplish. I can relate with you about feeling the pressure.

lkplibra

I keep it to myself, but I tend to be a private person anyway.

I didn't tell my husband. He noticed I was losing weight after the first 8 lbs and said I looked good but then forgot about it. (It took me 3 months to do that much.) Then after I lost another 8 lbs, he finally stopped and noticed again (16 lbs total and 3 more months). He said I looked good and asked if I was on a diet. I said, yes and have been for the last 6 months. His response was, "no wonder you have been so moody." So needless to say I don't have the best support system. Over Christmas he kept saying, have some cake, have some candy, its Christmas, you've earned it... I did enjoy the holidays; had some wine, some cake, but managed to keep my weight steady and am back on track. I've lost another 2 lbs, but he does tend to try to sabotage my efforts which is why I generally do not announce what I am doing.

My friends and family know I've lost weight (at 18 lbs) they can see it, but I don't say much about it, so they don't comment. That is the way I like it. They didn't say anything when I ate the food to get fat, I would prefer they not say anything while I work to get proportionate.

goochinator

This is a hard call....and completely an individual decision. It truly depends on how open of a person you are, how comfortable in sharing you are, how much you want to share, ( i/e general 'healthy eating' or specific numbers to lose, etc) and the people around you. My only advice would be to tread very very gently.
I've swung both ways myself. People who were seemingly just like me, I thought I'd get their support. Instead? Not at all....judgmental, sabotaging efforts, mean snarky comments, put downs, etc. it was really awful.
I've share with other weight loss warriors and that too can blow up in my face- it can turn competitive, comparing, etc. and get downright ugly.

Some people, honest to God want to support and encourage you, but have no clue what to say/do. They might say/do the wrong thing, thinking they are being helpful, when it makes you want to shove their ( or your) face in a cream pie. My dad was like that. He meant well, meant from the heart, but my God, the blows he'd say....so harsh.

Some people will go overboard on what they think is supportive, and become food nazi's...also not helpful.

So it depends on what you are needing, wanting and the people in your life, basically. I've done it alone, and I kind of enjoyed the 'secret' I had. I've done it semi-publicly and learned to live with the comments, and learned who I could trust, depend on. Also very publicly and that was really amazing, because people came out of the woodwork to support me and say amazing things to me that really helped me out.

lfane

For me, I'm keeping it to myself as much as I can. My family knows and only 2 friends. I just don't want to go around talking about it to others all the time.

XtyAnn17

I am too. Aside from my husband knowing. I want to surprise everyone

stephanieb72

I tell everybody that will listen! I have had people that I mention it to come up to me months later and tell me that I inspired them to join or just to get moving and lose weight.

MFPfriend

I kept it to myself for a long time, because I knew if I told people I was trying to lose weight, they would get hypercritical of what I was eating. Like, if I went to a family member's birthday party, and even just had one bit of somebody's cake or something, my family would get all up on me and say things like "Why are you eating that? Aren't you on a diet? How do you except to lose weight if you're eating cake all the time?"

I still haven't really told my family that I'm actively trying to lose weight. They do comment on my weight loss though. But I'm pretty sure they all just think it's magically happening by itself. (except for my dad, who accuses me of being on drugs. -.-)

crystalflame

I didn't really get serious until I committed to it and didn't tell everyone until they started asking. I read an article once about the best tips for losing weight, and a doctor said the #1 thing to do was to not tell anyone. Why?

1) Based on a psychology study: when you tell people you're going to lose weight, they respond positively. They tell you you're doing a great thing. Hearing that, you already feel rewarded, so you don't feel the need to actually carry out the action of losing weight.

2) Fat people tend to have fat friends and family, and some of them have jealousy issues. The doctor had heard a lot of cases of friends becoming mean, not respecting the person's eating habits, insulting them for becoming too thin - all things that might have been discouraging to the point of failure if the person wasn't already well along in their progress.

Obviously, if you're determined to do this and you think your friends and family will be supportive, there's nothing wrong with telling them. But to say that you NEED to have them to do this doesn't apply in all cases - I find the people on here to be much more encouraging and understanding than anyone I know in real life.

vicrandom

I'm not keeping it to myself, exactly - most people at work know I've been making an effort over the last several months (and so have they). Although they were supportive at first, things got a little weird around the holidays as everyone got their halloween/thanksgiving/christmas gorge going. The chatter and conversation around food tends to get really strange as people vocalize either their pleasure or their justifications regarding various sugary treats... it starts to sound more and more like "diet talk," which personally drives me up the wall. I'm recommitting to a much more personal effort right now, in part because even when people are being "supportive" - in honestly nice and genuine ways - their comments end up making me feel bad.

For example: If I don't notice any visual difference in my appearance, and someone comments that I'm looking good or that I've lost weight, that makes me feel REALLY WEIRD in a bad way. If they don't know I've been working on it, then at least I can take it as genuine, if unecessary - if they do know, then I pretty much assume they're lying and get creeped out by how invested they are in MY appearance/health. I know, my brain's messed up. But that's why I'm keeping it on the relative down low right now.

Edit: Also, people usually misunderstand my reasons for making changes. It took a zillion years to accept my body, and how it looks and feels. The changes I'm making should result in fat loss (I've got some serious endocrine issues if it doesn't), but the point of them is not to "look good." So being supported on how my appearance is changing just sounds like criticism for what my appearance has been for the last ten years, not true support for what I'm doing. If that makes sense.

simpsona5

I've been lucky, I'm losing weight with my wife. I've tried on my own before and that did not work. Having someone else involved keeps both of you on track and I've found that if one of us wants to exersise, we will exercise together. I've let some friends know what I'm doing. The only people who are not supportive are my in-laws who think its funny when we exercise in the back garden!!!

littlewhittles

I've told my boyfriend, and friends only if they ask. I don't want them to treat me differently.

Orchidjaz

I keep it to myself generally, the right people know. For example I can't tell my mum because she gets negative and tells me it will never happen. 15kgs down and she still refuses to acknowledge I look like I've lost weight. Easier just to let her think she's right.

kathyms13

i tell everyone, ive nothing to hide, if anything i tend to spread the word on what they should be eating but i can be quite boreing.

PaprikaPrincess

My family knows and two of my coworkers and one of the two coworkers is being weird about it. I sort of wish that she did not know.

wendybird5

Strangely enough I read about a study once that showed that you were more likely to achieve a goal if you didn't tell anyone about it because telling someone about your goal gives your body almost the same feeling as having accomplished the goal and then you no longer feel motivated to achieve because you feel as if you had.

Here's the URL for it: http://www.mind-meditations.com/motivation/want-to-achieve-a-goal-don’t-tell-anyone/

I told some people about my goal and the rest just found out as I was working towards it.

rockstar4Him

I'm doing p90x, but I'm not telling everyone I'm doing it.

In my experience, I have learned to keep what workout program that I'm doing a secret. When I tell everyone, "this is what I'm doing...", I find that I quit easily. Weird, right?

But if I tell people, "I already completed so and so workout program", then I did it already.

There was an article I read about that. If you tell people what you're going to be doing, that you're less likely to do it, but if you do it, well then you've done it.

I do the Exact same thing!!! If i start telling people about it, then I lose my motivation, self sabatoging maybe?

rockstar4Him

Strangely enough I read about a study once that showed that you were more likely to achieve a goal if you didn't tell anyone about it because telling someone about your goal gives your body almost the same feeling as having accomplished the goal and then you no longer feel motivated to achieve because you feel as if you had.

Here's the URL for it: http://www.mind-meditations.com/motivation/want-to-achieve-a-goal-don’t-tell-anyone/

I told some people about my goal and the rest just found out as I was working towards it.

Ok now thats really interesting!

Motivated_Mom_4

My immediate family knows, but I haven't posted anything on Facebook or told anyone else. I also haven't connected and added my Facebook friends who have this app as well. I just prefer to be as private as possible. Support wise, I don't have a strong need for support. I haven't struggled with making good food choices or motivation to exercise yet at this point, but it is great to come here when I have questions that I don't know the answer to and to interact with other people doing the same thing I am. When/if the day comes that I need motivation or support, I'm sure there will be some friendly people here to cheer me on.

lovinmyselfagain

Only those closest around me know that I'm getting back in shape and I prefer it like that. MFP is the only place I post about exercising and what I eat. Posting it all over FB is not me and I find myself rolling my eyes when other FB friends post about going to the gym everyday, what they eat everyday, etc, each to his/her own I suppose. Even now when current pictures of me are posted on FB and there's an obvious difference, when people bring it up or compliment me, I only say thank you and don't mention my weight loss journey. While I'm glad family and friends have noticed my weight loss, the constantly talking about it does get on my nerves. 98% are totally supportive and then there's my Mom who compliments the weight loss, but likes to make sarcastic comments about my methods. And then there is a good friend who I don't get to see too often these days and she came into town for Christmas. Now, God love her, she is an airhead, but the one day we hung out together she gave me cookies for my Christmas present and then throughout the day kept handing me candy. I'm talking I would go to the bathroom and when I come back there is more chocolate waiting for me. Years ago when I said I wanted to get back into shape she said "But, you won't be the same person!", so I don't know if all the junk thrown at me was her attempt to sabotage me or just her usual "airheadedness." It was annoying nonetheless.

RobynMWilson

I didn't talk about it much except to a couple of friends who I trusted and my family (I was in 9th grade). I was afraid to blab about it b/c I had talked about diets before and failed to lose the weight and I didn't want people to make fun of me if I didn't succeed. This was back in the 80s, way before Internet and MFP lol

At least ya got us! Feel free to add me!

skankamaggot

I keep it to myself and I do just fine.

I read this article last year about shutting up and doing it and I think about it quite often

http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2011/12/29/9807220-should-you-keep-your-new-years-diet-a-secret

chauncyrenayCHANGED

Trying to keep your goals to yourself from the people closest to you will never work. Support is a MAJOR factor in weight-loss, and to be frankly honest MFP isnt full of the "best" supporters.

Wrong answer!

If keeping it to yourself came naturally to you, it's probably what is going to work best for you.
I know from my life's pattern that when I don't broadcast my new goal or venture, that's how I know I'm serious.
When I walk the walk instead of talking it, I get the best results!

Good luck to you on your journey!

sheppeyescapee

My close friends and family know about it but acquaintances no. I have tried and failed so many times that I didn't want to announce it until I had lost a significant amount.

road2goal

I'm keeping it to myself. I have some people in my life who constantly watch me and ask me how much I lost last week, etc when they know I'm dieting. And look me over top to bottom as I'm talking to them. Talk about feeling judged! I would just rather do my thing quietly on my own. If people see results and start asking questions, I may share with a choice few people who are not like the ones I mentioned at the beginning of my post. I will generally just say though that I'm just eating right and exercising. I wont make a big deal about it. That is what works for me. My husband knows of course but that's it for now.