Anyone elses SO less then supportive?

ifoundroadkill
ifoundroadkill Posts: 96 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have been working on this for the 2 week now. I have already dropped close to 12 lbs. I have been working my butt off. My husband acts like my working out is an "inconvenience." Because I haven't been running to the store everyday for him and I have expected him to watch our kids. He won't watch them so I can join a gym, sleeps 12 hours a day, and gets mad if his kids wake him up at 2 p.m. while I'm working out. (no he doesn't work graves.) I am getting so mad because even one of his best friends pointed out the weight loss. He got passive aggressive mad about it. Would you be mad too? Are any of you having the same problem?
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Replies

  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    just break up.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    He sleeps until 2 and doesn't work gravesift. Does he work at all?
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
    just break up.

    *giggles to self* <3's
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
    LOL @ "watching" his own kids.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    Wow.

    He's a charming fellow.
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
    LOL @ "watching" his own kids.

    ^^ This - I would BREAK my husband if he ever said that....(Thank goodness I lift heavy)
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Your hubby sounds like sort of a bum, to be honest. I don't get this "he won't babysit the kids"....aren't they his kids too?! Jeez. Sounds like he isn't doing much else; looking after the kids isn't any great strain. I am sure he is insecure....certainly sounds like he has reason to be!
  • MrsBikiniBound
    MrsBikiniBound Posts: 120
    Hate to tell you this, but from what you describe, your husband is a douche. Good on you for improving your life so that you can be a more fit mother and feel healthier overall. I'm sorry you don't have his support - but the issue is more than him not beig supportive of your weight loss, he doesn't seem to be a supportive spouse in general and absent from his role as a parent entirely. Keep focusing on your goals, be the best mom you can for your kids and if you can't get the point across to your husband that he needs to be a responsible spouse,well, then you will have to come to your own decision at that point. Good luck
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
    I can't say mine is completely unsupportive... however he does poke fun at me sometimes and tells me I am overly obsessed with tracking my calories.. he makes fun when I am cooking in the kitchen and have my laptop on the counter so i can log each and every ingredient calorie on MFP... I am a tad obsessed with being as accurate as possible with it all, but I dont think its a bad thing. he will also sometimes try to offer me something not very good for me (piece of candy, chips, etc) and when I decline he says stuff like "one piece of candy is not going to make you fat!"... it bothers me... but it not all the time he does it, for the most part he seems supportive.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    my spouse is similar. but, I make it work for ME...and not to please her. She did reluctantly get me a gym membership for christmas but, I have had to work for 2 weeks to get a routine down that doesn't seem to bother her.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    When DOES he work?
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    wow what a douche. You married him? how long has he been like this? I doubt he'll change so you either have to have a serious talk with his lazy *kitten* or move on and get a divorce. A relationship be it marriage or not is 50/50. Especially when you have children together. He needs to grow up and stop being such a big baby about things and respect that you have to do things as well and the world does not revolve around him.
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
    My wife is not totally on board in a "This won't last" way.

    So, I'm planning to make my periodic rewards to be things _she_ really wants. :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    just break up.

    Yeah...nothing else to say. Divorce is in your future.
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
    My wife is not totally on board in a "This won't last" way.

    So, I'm planning to make my periodic rewards to be things _she_ really wants. :)

    Why would you make YOUR rewards about her? How will that keep YOU motivated?
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
    He sleeps 12 hours a day????? What a douche balloon!
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
    just break up.

    Yeah...nothing else to say. Divorce is in your future.

    Seriously people? how is this going to help her? Keep comments like these to yourself!
  • dantrick
    dantrick Posts: 369 Member
    ditch him - it would be an instant loss of 200 lbs or what ever he weighs.
  • Wonderwoman2677
    Wonderwoman2677 Posts: 428 Member
    Hate to tell you this, but from what you describe, your husband is a douche. Good on you for improving your life so that you can be a more fit mother and feel healthier overall. I'm sorry you don't have his support - but the issue is more than him not beig supportive of your weight loss, he doesn't seem to be a supportive spouse in general and absent from his role as a parent entirely. Keep focusing on your goals, be the best mom you can for your kids and if you can't get the point across to your husband that he needs to be a responsible spouse,well, then you will have to come to your own decision at that point. Good luck

    This... can't say it any better.
  • lyrical_melody
    lyrical_melody Posts: 242 Member
    I have been working on this for the 2 week now. I have already dropped close to 12 lbs. I have been working my butt off. My husband acts like my working out is an "inconvenience." Because I haven't been running to the store everyday for him and I have expected him to watch our kids. He won't watch them so I can join a gym, sleeps 12 hours a day, and gets mad if his kids wake him up at 2 p.m. while I'm working out. (no he doesn't work graves.) I am getting so mad because even one of his best friends pointed out the weight loss. He got passive aggressive mad about it. Would you be mad too? Are any of you having the same problem?

    Have you tried sitting down with your husband and explaining what you want from your recent change and how he can help? Maybe explain to him what he would get out of it...(if he doesnt get it at the first go)?

    All I can say is communication...communication...communication. If he still doesnt get it...counseling?

    Or...is there a gym that has day-care? I dont have kids, but I have noticed my gym has a daycare and my gym is just $10....good luck.
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    LOL @ "watching" his own kids.

    ^^ This - I would BREAK my husband if he ever said that....(Thank goodness I lift heavy)

    Third this. They are his kids too, it's not babysitting them, it's being a father!
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    I do this for myself.

    It sounds like you have a lot to negotiate for. I am well into my second year and all my workouts are in the family calendar. Honestly, I would just join the gym and go. He'll learn if he has too - and probably not until

    Everyone can refer to the 2nd Amendment.
  • Melsy7
    Melsy7 Posts: 30
    Is he worried that you're going to be attractive to other men and he doesn't want you working out because now you're starting to feel better about yourself and it shows? I mean, that's the only logical explanation I can come up with for his lazy *kitten*.
  • ARDuBaie
    ARDuBaie Posts: 378 Member
    My wife is not totally on board in a "This won't last" way.

    So, I'm planning to make my periodic rewards to be things _she_ really wants. :)

    Why would you make YOUR rewards about her? How will that keep YOU motivated?

    A person can love somebody so much that making them happy is rewarding. Just saying.

    As for the OP, I feel sorry for her. It seems she married my ex. He was the same way. I finally said to myself, "Girl, you're doing everything around here so you may as well dump the hubby and go it alone." Which is exactly what I did and I am the happiest person in the world (most of the time).
  • alicandy3
    alicandy3 Posts: 4
    Well my motto is "If they aren't for you - they are against you". However, do this weight loss for you. Find someone to watch YOUR kids or take them with you. Walk, run, stroller, friend, neighbor - make it work.. Sounds like maybe he is in depression or laziness? Do this for you! Keep up the good work and don't give anyone the POWER to control your emotions.
  • HMToomey
    HMToomey Posts: 276
    ...your husband is a douche...he doesn't seem to be a supportive spouse in general and absent from his role as a parent entirely...Good luck

    ^^This!

    Find a gym with child care and tell him to run his own errands! :heart:
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    I would be piiiiiiiiiiissed. Why can't HE run to the store? Why can't HE take care of his children? He sounds like a child. Tell him to man up.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    My wife is not totally on board in a "This won't last" way.

    So, I'm planning to make my periodic rewards to be things _she_ really wants. :)

    Why would you make YOUR rewards about her? How will that keep YOU motivated?
    Happy wife = happy husband?
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
    I have been working on this for the 2 week now. I have already dropped close to 12 lbs. I have been working my butt off. My husband acts like my working out is an "inconvenience." Because I haven't been running to the store everyday for him and I have expected him to watch our kids. He won't watch them so I can join a gym, sleeps 12 hours a day, and gets mad if his kids wake him up at 2 p.m. while I'm working out. (no he doesn't work graves.) I am getting so mad because even one of his best friends pointed out the weight loss. He got passive aggressive mad about it. Would you be mad too? Are any of you having the same problem?

    mine is supportive, been at it for 16 months now, but he does act as though it's a pain in the *kitten* if I leave him with the kids for an hour to complete my workout, also because it is 6 days a week, he seems to get annoyed. Other then that, he tells me that he is so proud of how far i have come. My hubby does work graveyards so I do try and get my workouts in before anyone in the house is up, like we are talking 4:30 am.

    good luck to you, but sounds like hubby may need a swift kick to the *kitten*.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    just break up.

    Yeah...nothing else to say. Divorce is in your future.

    Seriously people? how is this going to help her? Keep comments like these to yourself!

    It's a long-running MFP forums joke...

    ...but in this case, it doesn't seem particularly inappropriate. Based on the limited information we have, and assuming it is accurate, that's where I would place my bet.

    So, let's hear *your* advice that you believe will be helpful for her in this situation.


    Edit: because even I typo a homonym occasionally.

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