Anyone elses SO less then supportive?

BakerRunnerBadass

Not even sure where to start, it sounds like an unhealthy situation, but it is up to you to discuss with him for a solution, if he is not willing to support you than I think there are some serious issues in the relationship to address.

My SO is not always the positive motivator, he is supportive in his own way and I do wish he would verbalize when he notices the progress that I made, that being said he acknowledges it in other ways that work for me

deepuckett1

I am sorry you have these issues. I hope you find a positive way to work through them. In the end, you need to do what's best for you! For the kids, they'll respect you for it.

fitbum19

I think you should take your "trash" out. He's not work your aggravation from the sounds of it. Any husband worth a damn is going to SUPPORT you in your effort to lose weight and get healthy. He's going to have to realize he made those children with you and therefore, must share the responsibility with you. He's not really a good guy or father at all from the sounds of it. Geez.

MizSaz

Obviously I have nothing to base this on than your post, but it seems like this goes a LOT deeper than your weight loss. It seems, again, from the outside looking in, that you allowed your husband a certain amount of dependency on you, and you decided, very suddenly, to change the dynamic of your relationship. You let him send you to the store. You let him sleep till 2. You let him pawn the kids off on you. Did you think that he would magically turn into an early rising Mr. Mom??

Talk. To. Your. PARTNER.

fitbum19

So sorry you are going through this. I kind of have the same sort of situation. My SO drinks and binges and doesn't have the best temper. And the longer I do this, the more he is mad at me for not failing and not joining him in his bad behavior. We are growing into 2 different people. Probably more accurately I am growing (or shrinking) into my full potential. He wants me to be a drunken drug addict.

Makes me so sad to think about it.. But, I don't think we will make it together anymore.

wow, you need to take your trash out, sweetie. no one needs garbage like that in their life.

swillybay

Is he worried that you're going to be attractive to other men and he doesn't want you working out because now you're starting to feel better about yourself and it shows? I mean, that's the only logical explanation I can come up with for his lazy *kitten*.

This was my very first thought. Congratulations to you on doing better. Keep it up and hopefully he'll "get" it, although, from the sounds of it, I think he's too self-absorbed to.

Kitty_Kat_meow

Sadly he doesn't seem the best fit but I'd suggest working on him, try get him to join in some home gym time, try sit ups infront of the tv with the kids etc and make him join in. If he gets the same buzz off working out you never know he might join in and will understand your motivation. Otherwise get yourself fit, argue with him about it and then kick his butt into shape! Good luck hun, just remember you are amazing and you are going places where he'll never reach unless he wakes up and grows up.

kelbax22

A spouse is supposed to be supportive and help empower you to be the best you can be. My husband is 100% on board with me trying to be healthier and working out. I would suggest sitting down with him and have a conversation, sounds like you guys need to talk about making a schedule..that way when he has to watch his children it's not like he wasn't aware he had to. Being an adult and being a parent means you sometimes don't get to sleep in as long as you want to, sacrifices need to be made on his part.

Please do not give up because of your spouse!! It's your life.

Heather4275

The only person you are in control of is yourself. Keep working or your goals, being a great mum and a solid role model. In time you will need to decide if you are happy to continue with your current partner or if you reliase that you are worth much more, again you are in control of this. I always come back to my children and the role models that they are learning from.

I wish you all the very best.

Poecile

My partner is completely supportive of me, because they're working on losing weight too.

The problem is my father. He acts like me wanting to work out, even when he's going to bed, is a huge..."thing" that he has to tolerate. I left my 30DS dvd in the basement (where I work out, also his "man cave") ONCE and it took me two hours to find where it had been hidden. He makes a fuss when I measure out food on the weekends (the only time the family eats together), and he acts like i'm not going to keep up with it.

It sucks when you have someone so negative in your life. I think you really should talk to him about this, and if he doesn't budge and whinges about it, then he clearly isn't taking your wants and needs into account at all. If that is the case, I think it would be best to sever all ties with him.

wait_loss

So I am getting this straight in my head. You have decided to get your self in shape?
What was the planning on this?
Did you talk this over prior to you jumping into this new Years resolution and has it lasted in the past?

Maybe you need to build a team. As there is no" I" in Team. While You may want to do this great thing what sort of lead time did you give every one around you in doing this, to see if they were on the same page?

Did you ask for the support, Or are you expecting the support?

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

TaminaShock

I'm sorry! I would leave the kids with him anyway and go to the gym. What will he do called child services on himself? Perhaps some marriage theropy would help.Besides it's YOU that has to live in your BODY for the rest of your LIFE.

0Karina0

Hes not that supportive, he is the typical awesome guy who will love you no matter how you look, whenever he notices i am a bit hungry he runs to the kitchen and gets me snacks (super cute) I tell him i cant and he pressures me into eating a bit of it, he isnt trying to make me fail, he just want to make sure i eat enough xDD (damn 1200 cal program!)

AmberLee2012

I don't get why your husband won't help out with his own children. We watch my 2-year-old niece once a week and my husband always tells my sister, "It's not watching her, it's spending time with her." It sounds like he is upset that you are changing the routine that he is used to, but if he values your relationship, he should be willing to help you out. If he is not working, there is really no reason that he needs to sleep until 2:00 p.m. everyday. That's just crazy. I commend you for making this lifestyle change and I really hope that you don't let your husband's attitude ruin what you have been working towards. This is for YOU and for children so that you can be around to spend many more years with them. Good luck!

ifoundroadkill

I've tried talking to him he walks away, tried joining the gym 3rd year running he cancels my account, tried walking out the door solo, came home to find the kids riding their bikes around the neighborhood alone (they were 3 and 4 at the time) he was asleep on the couch. Set up counseling appointments hired a babysitter, he bailed 10 min before we had to go. He just mocks me and sleeps a lot. It just has gotten worse since I started working out because a take a whole hour to work out in the livingroom. I appreciate everyone's advice and I also appreciate everyones input. Shows me I'm not insane for being mad. I'm going to do this with or without him. I tried talking to him about my health he literally started making fun of me. I also stillprovide the same good ol' meals I always have for them. And I only work out when he is asleep so it doesn't interfere.

NikkiWalt

It sounds like there are way more issues than just the non-supportive issue, and the refusal to participate in responsible parenting. If he let those children out of the house alone, at 3 and 4, you shoulda killed him. Right there where he slept.

Back to the original problem though - find a new sitter, continue to go to the gym, and leave him a note (as not to disturb his precious naptime) that he can find someone else to wait on him.

wdwgirl3

Wow, just wow. It sounds like he is a kid himself and needs to grow up! Before you get up the courage is leave him, just live life the way you want...hire a babysitter ect. He should not even be in the equation.