Women does your Husbands /Spouse /Boyfriend???
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We are from Mars, the only purpose of talking is to either give or ask information, not yakking away about babies, clothes, food, what I am thinking about, how do you look, does my *kitten* look big in this? etc
We ask those questions because WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW.. Does my azz really look fat in this dress? Do you like my hair up or down? Red heels are black heels? We value your opinions..
No you do not, you want affirmation that your choice is good, men know a minefield when they hear one0 -
Everything in life that doesn't involve food and shelter is a distraction from being bored. We're here. Some are workaholics, cleanaholics, gameaholics.0
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Wow this is a lot of why's. lol. I think I'm more guyish than girlish so I can kinda understand this stuff.
Video games are just awesome. I think I stay up later than my boyfriend finishing up quests or beating another level or killing another dragon. When the story line is awesome, it's awesome! It's like a movie, you don't just stop mid way. But video games take longer to finish out the story so we are forced to get some sleep, even if it is with controller in hand.
Some people are so absorbed in thoughts that they really don't hear what you ask unless it's what is currently on their mind. He's thinking "hm, I'm starving" and not hearing anything till you say "hungry?"
I think a lot of people, not just men, hear something different then what they say. However, girls tend to go on and on and ramble and guys are different. They're to the point. They only want to hear the facts then move on to the next thing so they hear bits and pieces and then just put it together on their own. (I'm guilty of this too when people talk for long periods of time, or I'm lost in my own thoughts about something and not paying full attention.)
Stopping for directions is embarrassing, and a hit on the pride. Again, my boyfriend would sooner ask for directions than me. The last thing I want is some stranger knowing I couldn't figure out where the hell I was going.
Men want to feel like they don't need to rely on another man. So they do it their self. Who needs manuals!
Theoretically, there are really bad female drivers. Not all, but I have seen more female's doing stupid stuff in cars than men. I.E. One day I saw a truck (ya know, one of those ones with just the front seat that can safely hold 3 people) with three girls sitting up front, and all three of them had their toddlers on their lap, no seat belts, dancing while driving down a busy road. I have also seen girls try to put on eyeliner while driving.
Anytime the words "we need to talk" are said... it's a death sentence. It's like you just called him to the principles office. It means something is wrong and you just triggered the fight or flight emotion. You should never start something off with that, it's a serious scare. Just ease into the discussion, let him know what's bugging you. Sometimes they look like you're dumb and clueless because you said something that isn't seriously bad and they're just like "really?" Or they are thinking that it was more serious then it really was etc.
Girls think about sex just as much sometimes! Lol, it's weird, but they do.
Not all men say dumb things, women just misinterpret it. It'd be like you say something and your man is looking at you cluelessly like YOU just said something dumb. It goes back to people hearing things wrong.
In short, not all men are bad or weird or aliens from Mars. They just think differently and are very very simple. They want to live, have what they need, and be happy. They're not as concerned with who said what, who wears what, what everyone else wants, they are focused on their self, their family, and their woman.
You pointed out a lot of good traits in your husband, focus on those. Let him be him, and you be you. Marriage doesn't mean you merge into one person, you should want to keep individual because that's who you guys fell in love with.
Also, try learning to play video games, it's fun!!0 -
I'm not a gamer, but I know a several of them (both male and female, actually) and for most men who are avid gamers, you have to remember that in society today, anything masculine = "bad". We're told our competitive edge is unnecessary "aggression" from day one. As boys we're told to sit in the school chair, don't move, don't make a sound. This is not how boys learn. Explaining this all in one mfp is impossible, but in a nutshell - the world of gaming is a virtual escape where men can be men.
Once upon a time, men were valued and our strength was useful. Now that the world has shifted, more of us are in offices and occupations where anything masculine is looked down upon. Games offer mental release but no physical release, so it is no secret why the gaming session can go on and on and on. It occupies a need men have emotionally for spirited competition but does nothing for the physical exertion our bodies crave. Kind of a double-edged sword.
The other questions you had regarding "male" behavior are A) not specifically male, and
unfair sweeping generalizations. If I were to make a post that asked "why are all women obsessed with shopping" or "why are all women needy, emotional leeches" the thread would turn into a hate-fest and be shut down. If you want real help/answers I would steer clear of the stereotypes. 0 -
On many levels, this is completely bio chemical. Men think about sex more often than women because it's about procreation and survival of species. Men are more competative (which could also translate to long hours of gaming.) Both men and women are driven by primal instincts to survive. These primal instincts are still noticable in the modern world. Men are attracted to breast and hips for seeking a mate that would be able to bare children easier and nurse. We have done many studies on how the male and female hormones work the way they do.
That being said, our species also has the ability to reason and understand things on a deeper level. So we can go beyond just instinctual behavior. Like, we can conclude that playing games all day and watching movies all night can cause things in their life to become chaotic. This is something we can analyze and make a choice to focus on things that nurture and develop the family as a unit.
To be honest, we cannot help how often we think about sex. There is a reason why we do. And to fight it would be to suppress it. It is how we conduct our thoughts in the living world that have true cause and effect.
Thoughts?0 -
Not "all men" are like that. My husband has never played a video game, he reads directions for everything, and is an all around great guy. You just haven't found one like that, that's all!
Okay, I can see that this is going to be a debatable /controversial thread.. Let me clarify ..yes my husband plays video games, does that make him Mr.WRONG No. Will he ask for directions? NOPE, I have to. Does that make him Mr.Wrong NO. Does he read the instructions on everything again, NOPE..he'd rather take an hour doing it the wrong. Does that make him Mr.Wrong NO..makes us both laugh..8yrs and counting and I LOVE MY MISTER he's perfect for me.0 -
We are from Mars, the only purpose of talking is to either give or ask information, not yakking away about babies, clothes, food, what I am thinking about, how do you look, does my *kitten* look big in this? etc
We ask those questions because WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW.. Does my azz really look fat in this dress? Do you like my hair up or down? Red heels are black heels? We value your opinions..
No you do not, you want affirmation that your choice is good, men know a minefield when they hear one
I don't,ask question about my butt looking big In certain things because I really do NOT want to know...LOL but he tells ME he likes my hair down and I ask him shoe preference when going out because I would wear my hiking sandals everywhere and know he just doesn't find them attractive.0 -
No, it looks great.We ask those questions because WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW.. Does my azz really look fat in this dress?
UpDo you like my hair up or down?
Red, although to be fair you had me at heels.Red heels are black heels?
I hope this helps.
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Yet another reason I homeschool my boys.....As boys we're told to sit in the school chair, don't move, don't make a sound. This is not how boys learn.0 -
M yX did tons of things that would annoy me. He would do the video games or watch t.v. all the time but you know what? I enabled the video games ( I was the only one staying up in line to get the Wii when it first came out ) and I wasn't the best partner either. When I got tired of being ignored , I went online to read and to get good conversation . We both became detached. It doesn't work if you don't work at it %110 both ways.
I think we all lack the communication and relationship skill that our grandparents had.0 -
Hello. I'm new here but I was curious as to some feedback on a question sort of like the video game thing. Just a question Ladies, To put the shoe on the other foot. If video games are it for us guys. What about Facebook (instagram, etc)? My wife is on it 4-6 hours a day. Desktop and mobile. My wife discovered it 4-5 years ago and it has pretty much ruined our marriage (17 + yrs). Ruined it in the sense of no attention to me, our kids or household. What do you do about that? Because every time I broach the subject she gets defensive. Her constant devotion to it sapped any interest I had in joining. Oddly enough I'm on MFP. You'll notice I have never interacted on here before but I felt stongly about this. I've given up on it turning around. Just wanted to know if anyone had first or secondhand experience with this issue and what happened Just asking. Good luck to all.0
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I'm not a gamer, but I know a several of them (both male and female, actually) and for most men who are avid game
The other questions you had regarding "male" behavior are A) not specifically male, and unfair sweeping generalizations. If I were to make a post that asked "why are all women obsessed with shopping" or "why are all women needy, emotional leeches" the thread would turn into a hate-fest and be shut down. If you want real help/answers I would steer clear of the stereotypes
Thanks..makes sense..and by the way..I hate shopping..but I love online shopping (weird lol) ...I also dislike the touchy feelly p.d.a..that's all hubby..0 -
The only game my husband plays is pinball on the computer! LOL! And that does get annoying, the little ding ding ding! But he'll play just one game at a time... so I can thankfully say no my husband is not like you described. I must have one of the few good ones. He really CAN fix things with instructions, he DOES know his way around and will ask for directions, he does things around the house WITHOUT being bugged (he's usually buggin' me to change the toilet paper roll!) and he's even teaching our son how to put the toilet seat down after he uses the bathroom. My husband plans game nights (REAL games, like Clue and Spoon and Old Maid... do most people even know what those are anymore??) for our family. TV is very limited and we watch as a family, usually something old and classic (Andy Griffith, **** Van *kitten* Show), he builds snowmen and has snowball fights with his kids and takes the time to compliment me and openly shows his affection. The only thing he does that annoys me is he brings his smelly workboots into the house (works on a ranch)... but right now if he leaves them outside they will freeze! So I don't mind too much.0
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No, it looks great.We ask those questions because WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW.. Does my azz really look fat in this dress?
UpDo you like my hair up or down?
Why? what is wrong with my hair?
Red, although to be fair you had me at heels.Red heels are black heels?
What' s wrong with the black ones?
I hope this helps.0 -
i got lucky because my significant other doesnt really play games on the internet or consoles...she does have games on her phone which she does use an awful lot...but i dont complain about it because i enjoy my "alone" time or the time to myself...because when im not at work im with her and its nice to have some time to myself to do what i want to do without anyone else...0
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welcome to MFP; where all posts end up being controversial.Okay, I can see that this is going to be a debatable /controversial thread..0 -
I have the answer to all these questions... After years of research, I have deduced that 99% of human males suffer from a disease called "Man-itis". Man-itis is a terrible disease that causes all the symptoms you mentioned in the opening post. Man-itis is the side effect of testosterone. Testosterone kills brain cells, beginning at the moment of conception - therefore, by the time a male child is born, testosterone has already caused irreversible damage to his brain... and it only gets worse from there. You see very little effect during early childhood years, but what few precious cells are left by the time adolescence occurs are certainly destroyed by the overabundance of hormones that surge through the poor, unsuspecting teenager's body.
I know that this information won't help change anything, but maybe it explains the "why"...
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Ok, this post is entirely made as a joke. Although, I have shared my theory on "man-itis" many times in my life...
Come on, fellas, it's a joke. I tell my husband he has man-itis all the time
Ok, my work here is done. Time to go ride horses!0 -
On many levels, this is completely bio chemical. Men think about sex more often than women because it's about procreation and survival of species. Men are more competative (which could also translate to long hours of gaming.) Both men and women are driven by primal instincts to survive. These primal instincts are still noticable in the modern world. Men are attracted to breast and hips for seeking a mate that would be able to bare children easier and nurse. We have done many studies on how the male and female hormones work the way they do.
That being said, our species also has the ability to reason and understand things on a deeper level. So we can go beyond just instinctual behavior. Like, we can conclude that playing games all day and watching movies all night can cause things in their life to become chaotic. This is something we can analyze and make a choice to focus on things that nurture and develop the family as a unit.
To be honest, we cannot help how often we think about sex. There is a reason why we do. And to fight it would be to suppress it. It is how we conduct our thoughts in the living world that have true cause and effect.
Thoughts?
Thanks for the input..that's your thoughts and you are entitled to them.0 -
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No you do not, you want affirmation that your choice is good, men know a minefield when they hear one
[/quote]
I don't,ask question about my butt looking big In certain things because I really do NOT want to know...LOL but he tells ME he likes my hair down and I ask him shoe preference when going out because I would wear my hiking sandals everywhere and know he just doesn't find them attractive.
[/quote]
Funny..Lmbo men know a minefield when they hear one...
I would wear my house slippers everywhere..lol0 -
Um..... I do that far more that my husband :ohwell:0
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this is really sad that you have a post dedicated to bashing your husband. if your husband did one about you, you would be appalled and pissed. how is ranting to strangers about how horrible it is for you going to fix your problems? these people don't know you. they cannot help you. sounds like you need to talk to your husband, tell him want you want from him and work it out together without being argumentative. if all else fails they have these people who get paid for a living to help couple through relationship problems.....they are called marriage counselors. maybe you should go back to your pastor for some counseling. and also, maybe your man just stares at you blankly when you want to talk because he is immature. my man wants to know what's bothering me, why and how we can fix it together. this is really really sad and disrespectful to put him on blast like this to a bunch of strangers. if he is so loving, caring and sensitive then why would you do that?0
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Yet another reason I homeschool my boys.....As boys we're told to sit in the school chair, don't move, don't make a sound. This is not how boys learn.
Kudos to you! :drinker:0 -
I have the answer to all these questions... After years of research, I have deduced that 99% of human males suffer from a disease called "Man-itis". Man-itis is a terrible disease that causes all the symptoms you mentioned in the opening post. Man-itis is the side effect of testosterone. Testosterone kills brain cells, beginning at the moment of conception - therefore, by the time a male child is born, testosterone has already caused irreversible damage to his brain... and it only gets worse from there. You see very little effect during early childhood years, but what few precious cells are left by the time adolescence occurs are certainly destroyed by the overabundance of hormones that surge through the poor, unsuspecting teenager's body.
I know that this information won't help change anything, but maybe it explains the "why"...
******************************
Ok, this post is entirely made as a joke. Although, I have shared my theory on "man-itis" many times in my life...
Come on, fellas, it's a joke. I tell my husband he has man-itis all the time
Ok, my work here is done. Time to go ride horses!
Lmbo ..and that's all it was intended to be a JOKE a HUMOROUS thread of why do men??0 -
I think I might be a man... except you'd have to pay me a lot of money to make me watch football.
Video games are awesome and fun. There's no way I'd ever date or marry a man that doesn't play them.0 -
2 EXamples of ex boyfriends for ya:
1. went to his friend's house. he played video games for 6 hours STRAIGHT speaking to me ONCE to ask if I wanted some Chinese food. i eventually fell asleep on the carpeted floor. then he got mad at me and blamed me for us leaving because "i guess she wants to go"....UHHHHHH!?!?!!!!!!! :mad: (in his defense, he was about 22 at the time).
2. last boyfriend worked evening shift, 4pm-12am. stayed up til about 5am playing video games on computer or xbox, watching porn, looking @ live porn and bisexual "meetups" on the internet. all the while i slept IN MY BED alone since i worked 8am-4pm. as far as i know his behavior hasn't changed. hence, ex. scumbag.
I feel your pain. Count your blessings. It could ALWAYS be worse.0 -
this is really sad that you have a post dedicated to bashing your husband. if your husband did one about you, you would be appalled and pissed. how is ranting to strangers about how horrible it is for you going to fix your problems? these people don't know you. they cannot help you. sounds like you need to talk to your husband, tell him want you want from him and work it out together without being argumentative. if all else fails they have these people who get paid for a living to help couple through relationship problems.....they are called marriage counselors. maybe you should go back to your pastor for some counseling. and also, maybe your man just stares at you blankly when you want to talk because he is immature. my man wants to know what's bothering me, why and how we can fix it together. this is really really sad and disrespectful to put him on blast like this to a bunch of strangers. if he is so loving, caring and sensitive then why would you do that?
Omg..bashing oh wow..why do we take everything so seriously and blow things out of context??0 -
First....*LOL* Yup, my hubby is a gamer to the core, but he always spends time with our daughters first, helps put them to bed, spends some time with me, and THEN stays up until all hours playing video games . So he does have his priorities pretty much in order. Of course, pre-children, it was all video games, all the time. Always. :explode:
Also, my hubby does not watch football. He can play it pretty well when he's asked, but no, it's just video games for him. SO I lucked out!0 -
Wow this is a lot of why's. lol. I think I'm more guyish than girlish so I can kinda understand this stuff.
Video games are just awesome. I think I stay up later than my boyfriend finishing up quests or beating another level or killing another dragon. When the story line is awesome, it's awesome! It's like a movie, you don't just stop mid way. But video games take longer to finish out the story so we are forced to get some sleep, even if it is with controller in hand.
Some people are so absorbed in thoughts that they really don't hear what you ask unless it's what is currently on their mind. He's thinking "hm, I'm starving" and not hearing anything till you say "hungry?"
I think a lot of people, not just men, hear something different then what they say. However, girls tend to go on and on and ramble and guys are different. They're to the point. They only want to hear the facts then move on to the next thing so they hear bits and pieces and then just put it together on their own. (I'm guilty of this too when people talk for long periods of time, or I'm lost in my own thoughts about something and not paying full attention.)
Stopping for directions is embarrassing, and a hit on the pride. Again, my boyfriend would sooner ask for directions than me. The last thing I want is some stranger knowing I couldn't figure out where the hell I was going.
Men want to feel like they don't need to rely on another man. So they do it their self. Who needs manuals!
Theoretically, there are really bad female drivers. Not all, but I have seen more female's doing stupid stuff in cars than men. I.E. One day I saw a truck (ya know, one of those ones with just the front seat that can safely hold 3 people) with three girls sitting up front, and all three of them had their toddlers on their lap, no seat belts, dancing while driving down a busy road. I have also seen girls try to put on eyeliner while driving.
Anytime the words "we need to talk" are said... it's a death sentence. It's like you just called him to the principles office. It means something is wrong and you just triggered the fight or flight emotion. You should never start something off with that, it's a serious scare. Just ease into the discussion, let him know what's bugging you. Sometimes they look like you're dumb and clueless because you said something that isn't seriously bad and they're just like "really?" Or they are thinking that it was more serious then it really was etc.
Girls think about sex just as much sometimes! Lol, it's weird, but they do.
Not all men say dumb things, women just misinterpret it. It'd be like you say something and your man is looking at you cluelessly like YOU just said something dumb. It goes back to people hearing things wrong.
In short, not all men are bad or weird or aliens from Mars. They just think differently and are very very simple. They want to live, have what they need, and be happy. They're not as concerned with who said what, who wears what, what everyone else wants, they are focused on their self, their family, and their woman.
You pointed out a lot of good traits in your husband, focus on those. Let him be him, and you be you. Marriage doesn't mean you merge into one person, you should want to keep individual because that's who you guys fell in love with.
Also, try learning to play video games, it's fun!!
I play some Just Dance and Guitar Hero..I love my kindle and laptop though..but Thanks for your input0 -
First....*LOL* Yup, my hubby is a gamer to the core, but he always spends time with our daughters first, helps put them to bed, spends some time with me, and THEN stays up until all hours playing video games . So he does have his priorities pretty much in order. Of course, pre-children, it was all video games, all the time. Always. :explode:
Also, my hubby does not watch football. He can play it pretty well when he's asked, but no, it's just video games for him. SO I lucked out!
I love football too..especially the NEW ORLEANS SAINTS its a mutual thing on that..video games only the Just Dance and Guitar Hero..all the others him and our boys play them0 -
This thread really made me laugh.
Im glad im not the only one. My other half plays computer games, although not half as much as he did when i first met him, Usually we watch a film together instead.
But he has a really odd sleeping pattern that gets to me sometimes as when im ready to go to bed he's still wide awake and falls asleep on the sofa and comes to bed the next time he wakes up or sometimes not at all. Can get quite lonely sometimes.0
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