Marriage values in our society....

ubermensch13

Let me break it to you: It has always been that way, it is just much more easy to know about these things now. Study history, infidelity all over the place!

neither am i but i entered into a binding contract when i married my husband. if you dont feel strongly abt it enough to make a life long commitment dont do it.

Actually, it isn't binding, which is why we have no fault divorce, you know, legally speaking.

PikaKnight

You do realize you are posting on a place that focuses on being healthy in a physical way and not necessarily a moral or spiritual way?

Do you realize this is the chit chat fun and games forum and anything that the mods do not remove goes? Relax...people just like to blow off some steam and talk about anything.

Yeah..but there is nothing chit chatty or fun about this topic. :sad: :sad: :sad:

PikaKnight

Let me break it to you: It has always been that way, it is just much more easy to know about these things now. Study history, infidelity all over the place!

neither am i but i entered into a binding contract when i married my husband. if you dont feel strongly abt it enough to make a life long commitment dont do it.javascript:add_smiley('flowerforyou','post_body')

Actually, it isn't binding, which is why we have no fault divorce, you know, legally speaking.

Thank goodness for divorce!!!! :happy:

Mcgrawhaha

I yearn for the good 'ol days when affairs didn't happen.

When unicorns flourished and Jesus rode Dinosaurs....

R u saying Dinosaurs don't exist? :sick:

WHAT????????????? theres no dinos???

I love dinosaurs.

Believe it or not there are those that think that the dinosaurs were a lie. That they are a government conspiracy. Kid you not. It amazes me too...

now wait just a darn minute... whats next? no such thing as a chubakabre???

Admiral_Derp

I think the whole concept of "societal values" is, and always has been kind of shaky. While there are shifts in majority and minority, there have always been different groups with different values. What I think makes for a great society is when all of those people are free to live according to their values, as long as their values don't involve force, coersion, (sp?) or oppression. Marriage, at the end of the day is really, only as sacred as the people in it decide it is. My wife and I are both very dedicated to our marriage, and we definite it by what would be considered biblical, Christian ideas. It fulfills us, and I'm very thankful for it and also for the fact that we've been successful at it so far. That's our journey. Other people are different, and I don't think it would be right to expect them to define marriage or even what it means to value a marriage by the same definition that I do. That's why I don't think the government should have squat to do with the legislation of marriage or marriage rights. People should be free to marry who they choose and to place whatever level of devotion they chose on that marriage...or non-marriage as it were. As long as we all remain free to think one another is crazy, and if only we could agree to treat each other with civility and respect, even in the face of absolute disagreement, I think it would be a pretty good system.

Mcgrawhaha

I think the whole concept of "societal values" is, and always has been kind of shaky. While there are shifts in majority and minority, there have always been different groups with different values. What I think makes for a great society is when all of those people are free to live according to their values, as long as their values don't involve force, coersion, (sp?) or oppression. Marriage, at the end of the day is really, only as sacred as the people in it decide it is. My wife and I are both very dedicated to our marriage, and we definite it by what would be considered biblical, Christian ideas. It fulfills us, and I'm very thankful for it and also for the fact that we've been successful at it so far. That's our journey. Other people are different, and I don't think it would be right to expect them to define marriage or even what it means to value a marriage by the same definition that I do. That's why I don't think the government should have squat to do with the legislation of marriage or marriage rights. People should be free to marry who they choose and to place whatever level of devotion they chose on that marriage...or non-marriage as it were. As long as we all remain free to think one another is crazy, and if only we could agree to treat each other with civility and respect, even in the face of absolute disagreement, I think it would be a pretty good system.

absolutely not, i will not treat my husband with civility and respect!!! he has not logged in to mfp for 2 days now... who does that???

PikaKnight

I yearn for the good 'ol days when affairs didn't happen.

When unicorns flourished and Jesus rode Dinosaurs....

R u saying Dinosaurs don't exist? :sick:

WHAT????????????? theres no dinos???

I love dinosaurs.

Believe it or not there are those that think that the dinosaurs were a lie. That they are a government conspiracy. Kid you not. It amazes me too...

now wait just a darn minute... whats next? no such thing as a chubakabre???

Shhhhh..that's supposed to be kept under wraps. Shhhhhh.

PikaKnight

I think the whole concept of "societal values" is, and always has been kind of shaky. While there are shifts in majority and minority, there have always been different groups with different values. What I think makes for a great society is when all of those people are free to live according to their values, as long as their values don't involve force, coersion, (sp?) or oppression. Marriage, at the end of the day is really, only as sacred as the people in it decide it is. My wife and I are both very dedicated to our marriage, and we definite it by what would be considered biblical, Christian ideas. It fulfills us, and I'm very thankful for it and also for the fact that we've been successful at it so far. That's our journey. Other people are different, and I don't think it would be right to expect them to define marriage or even what it means to value a marriage by the same definition that I do. That's why I don't think the government should have squat to do with the legislation of marriage or marriage rights. People should be free to marry who they choose and to place whatever level of devotion they chose on that marriage...or non-marriage as it were. As long as we all remain free to think one another is crazy, and if only we could agree to treat each other with civility and respect, even in the face of absolute disagreement, I think it would be a pretty good system.

absolutely not, i will not treat my husband with civility and respect!!! he has not logged in to mfp for 2 days now... who does that???

Kick his butt!

nightengale7

These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs.

That is your opinion.

It is not an opinion, it is the actual definition of affair.

af·fair (-fâr)
n.
1. Something done or to be done; business.
2. affairs Transactions and other matters of professional or public business: affairs of state.
3.
a. An occurrence, event, or matter: The senator's death was a tragic affair.
b. A social function.
4. An object or a contrivance: Their first car was a ramshackle affair.
5. A matter of personal concern.
6. affairs Personal business: get one's affairs in order.
7. A matter causing public scandal and controversy: the Dreyfus affair.
8. A romantic and/or sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.

Looks like you're going to have to find a new tactic in your crusade to defend infidelity. Good luck.

It's different if someone is Poly. They are not having an affair. They have their primary. They also have others they are in a relationship with. If they are honest with the primary it's not an affair.

Ok, I don't know why you are all over this poly thing, but that is not what the OP was referring to. She was referring specifically to dishonesty and lies. If you are in a poly relationship and are honest, then that is not what she was referring to.

Admiral_Derp

I think the whole concept of "societal values" is, and always has been kind of shaky. While there are shifts in majority and minority, there have always been different groups with different values. What I think makes for a great society is when all of those people are free to live according to their values, as long as their values don't involve force, coersion, (sp?) or oppression. Marriage, at the end of the day is really, only as sacred as the people in it decide it is. My wife and I are both very dedicated to our marriage, and we definite it by what would be considered biblical, Christian ideas. It fulfills us, and I'm very thankful for it and also for the fact that we've been successful at it so far. That's our journey. Other people are different, and I don't think it would be right to expect them to define marriage or even what it means to value a marriage by the same definition that I do. That's why I don't think the government should have squat to do with the legislation of marriage or marriage rights. People should be free to marry who they choose and to place whatever level of devotion they chose on that marriage...or non-marriage as it were. As long as we all remain free to think one another is crazy, and if only we could agree to treat each other with civility and respect, even in the face of absolute disagreement, I think it would be a pretty good system.

absolutely not, i will not treat my husband with civility and respect!!! he has not logged in to mfp for 2 days now... who does that???

LOL
And you should be completely free to make that choice. See how awesome my way of doing this is!

k8blujay2

While I don't necessarily disagree with the OP... One must remember that it has been happening since the dawn of time AND there is not one thing any person can do about it. There is no amount of lamenting or lecturing that is going to make people feel any differently than they already do about people or relationships... as sad as it may look to you.... however, even though, to me, there is no such thing as relative morality... there are way more that believe, accept and live that way and there is nothing you or I can do about it except to live our lives in such a way that places value in these things.

lydia_the_tattooed_lady

I have no desire to get married so this is all pointless to me...

louiselebeau

I yearn for the good 'ol days when affairs didn't happen.

When unicorns flourished and Jesus rode Dinosaurs....

^^this made me snort

ekz13

I yearn for the good 'ol days when affairs didn't happen.

When unicorns flourished and Jesus rode Dinosaurs....

BAM!!

Mcgrawhaha

while this has been loads of fun... i have to go... BUT IF I SEE A THREAD ON HONEY BOOBOO... IM SO THERE!!!

VorJoshigan

I am very disappointed in hearing some news today. Where has everyone's marriage values gone? I'm hearing waaay too much about people having affairs, or secretly meeting someone for "lunch" or "texting and/or talking on the phone" when your spouse is unaware. These are all considered Affairs....whether physical and/or emotional....they are still affairs. I know that if anything like this ever happened to me, I would TRY my best to work through it with my husband....I would....but knowing my personality, it would be the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. I feel so BLESSED that I have a husband who has the same marriage values as mine but also dumbfounded and a little (i should say ALOT) disgusted at the things I have seen at the gym and also with the news I heard today. Shame on some people for not putting the importance of their marriage above any "lust" or attraction you may of felt.

So... what you're saying is that you're NOT interested in hooking up later? This is just so public. You could have just sent me a direct message.

DawnieB1977

The saddest thing about a marriage break-up is the children it affects. As a teacher I see the upset it causes for a child when their parents are divorcing. It's so sad and there's nothing much we can do to help. Stability at home definitely helps young children and teenagers.

My parents have been married for 38 years so I have no experience of anything different, and I've been married for 4.5 years. My husband's mum has been married 3 times and split 2 years ago from a long-term partner and is now living with one of her ex husbands (who is not the dad of her 3 kids!). My husband said it was hard growing up without a dad, especially at a time when 1 parent families weren't the norm.

Each to their own, but put children first!

savage22hp

"Do not give what is holy to the dogs ; nor cast your pearls before swine ...." Cling to your values dear lady and pray that your husband shares them . Pity those who adopt the morality of the alleyway mutt that will latch onto any leg if the urge hits them .Treat your home as a fortress for you and your family to escape into , locking the world out at night . Do not be the one that opens the door in secret to let the world in unaware . Be constantly vigilant for cracks in the foundation for the whole thing will collapse if the foundation becomes defective. Be tolerant of other viewpoint for it is the right of every man to be right or wrong at their own descretion. Seek truth which is not a viewpoint or a whim but a constant . Share that truth with those who have willing ears but don't waste your efforts when it is painfully obvious that immorality is seeking its own justification.

AliciaStinger

Society, it's morals and values, have changed. It used to be that the child being raised by the single parent was in the minority. Now, my children, raised in a home with parents that were married before having children, and having all the same last name, those children are the minority. So, it's not surprising to me that so many people in this thread would jump to the defense of the cheaters, and berate those that think cheating is wrong by telling them to mind their own business. We must rationalize our behaviors anyway we can so that we can try having a clear conscience, and not feel that our own actions could possibly be morally wrong.

I agree, but to some point I disagree. I am a single mother, not married and my son's father isn't in the picture. But yet, I believe in marriage. I believe that when you make your vows, you hold them dear to your heart. So not everyone looks past their own faults to jump on the "mind your own business" wagon. Just wanted to clarify, some of us own up to what we have done.

And, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I've never cheated on anyone, would never cheat, and still think you should all mind your own business. I think it's sad when relationships collapse due to infidelity, and I also think it's wrong for people to do something that would hurt the person they're supposed to love -- but I doubt that starting a thread on a fitness site criticizing other people is really going to help anyone or change anyone's "values" toward marriage or relationships.

Edit - OP, I don't mean to be harsh (since a lot of the comments on here have you and others defending your opinion). I'm not disagreeing with you that cheating on your SIGNIFICANT OTHER or OTHER HALF can be a very hurtful and horrible thing; I'm simply saying that it's not for us to judge what other people do with/to their relationships or better halves...all we can (or should) do is worry about our own and help those who ask for it.

lcchrt

I guess it depends on the marriage.

In our marriage we do not lie about anything. If we feel the need to liw we probably shouldn't be doing it. We are also very open. We encourage one another to talk about things lol... when we are out we point out people who are hot to one another, we accept what the other does, as long as we don't lie.