a girl i know lost about 100lbs
peopletalk
Posts: 519 Member
through good ol' fashioned hard work and exercise. she looks amazing and she's so skinny now.
BUT my issue is she's a sales rep and literally isn't living her life. she's at her goal weight but i asked her a bunch of questions:
me: what do you do at work events? there's lots of food and alcohol
her: when everyone else eats, i goto my car and have my protein shake
me: do you go out and have fun?
her: once in awhile. i cut out all my social life to lose this weight.
me: do you have cheat days?
her: i have a cheat meal once a week. this week i had a small popcorn at the movies.
(wtf?! popcorn is not a meal!!!!)
me: how often do you workout?
her: i see a trainer every day after work for 2 hours a night and go home and sleep.
okay, my issue is yes she looks great, and this might work for her. but damn, i feel like she's missing out on life!
BUT my issue is she's a sales rep and literally isn't living her life. she's at her goal weight but i asked her a bunch of questions:
me: what do you do at work events? there's lots of food and alcohol
her: when everyone else eats, i goto my car and have my protein shake
me: do you go out and have fun?
her: once in awhile. i cut out all my social life to lose this weight.
me: do you have cheat days?
her: i have a cheat meal once a week. this week i had a small popcorn at the movies.
(wtf?! popcorn is not a meal!!!!)
me: how often do you workout?
her: i see a trainer every day after work for 2 hours a night and go home and sleep.
okay, my issue is yes she looks great, and this might work for her. but damn, i feel like she's missing out on life!
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Replies
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:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating0
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yes but there's more to a perfect body. she barely sees any of her friends more than once a couple months now. and at fancy work dinners she actually leaves to eat her healthy food alone in her car.:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating
there's more to life than eating but that isn't life.0 -
That's just sad
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That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.0
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I'd rather be fat. Yep, I said it. You can't make this a lifestyle if it doesn't fit into your real life.0
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i said it works for her. but it wouldn't work for me.That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.
i understand everyone is different but it's sad seeing a woman with so many close friends, and then she decided to choose weight over friendships.0 -
That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.
This.0 -
I wouldnt rather be fat but I surely could not live like her.
Makes me sooooooo glad that I found out about Road Map0 -
I see where you are coming from. But let her be the judge of how well she is spending her life. Some people might consider your fave pastimes a complete waste of time. Many people think women like myself who dont have any kids to be wasting their God-given purpose in life. I, for one, can't understand the hours and money spent on the Twilight books and movies. My neighbors would disagree. They took a vacation to Forks, WA.
Maybe when her control over diet and exercise is a bit stronger she plans to integrate social things back in slowly. Maybe not. Despite your eagerness to play 20 questions maybe she didn't feel like opening up to you about some of her reasons. Maybe her friends were unsupportive during her weightloss. Maybe improving herself brought some of her friends behaviors to light (like maybe they are all into heavy partying) and she might be trying to stay away from that. Maybe she just went through a breakup and her ex still hangs out with the friends. Maybe he brings his new girlfriend. I could go on all night. I'm just saying, she may have reasons that didnt come up in your interview of her. But you should let her decide if she is really living or merely existing.0 -
I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...0
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then you're too sensitive.I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...0 -
i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.
and i didn't interview her, she was more than willing to open up. she was doing lots of the talking.
and no, she said she cut out her social life to lose the weight.0 -
What makes you think she is not living her life? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad? Would you rather see her gain back that 100lbs and socialize?0
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because she straight up said she doesnt have a life anymore lol.What makes you think she is not living her life? Do you know her for a long period of time? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad?
and yes, i've known her for almost 3 years. and she just lost it all in about a year and a half. her bodies amazing, but her personality is vastly different.0 -
FWIW, I agree 100% with you that it wouldn't be my choice either. I prefer the "everything in moderation" approach and have no intention of making weight loss such an obsession that it consumes my entire life. One doesn't have to be orthorexic and a social pariah to successfully lose weight/be healthy. Some people are "all or nothing", and if it works for them that's fine - just not the way I choose to go about it.i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.0 -
why not she just eat food she likes in moderation. popcorn as a cheat meal, my cheat meal will be cheese fusilli or some slices of pizza.0
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because she straight up said she doesnt have a life anymore lol.What makes you think she is not living her life? Do you know her for a long period of time? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad?
and yes, i've known her for almost 3 years. and she just lost it all in about a year and a half. her bodies amazing, but her personality is vastly different.
Ah ok. I just saw that you wrote you felt like she is not living her life. As her friend, do you think she is happier when she was 100lbs more compare to now? If you do, tell her how you feel. Maybe she is waiting for someone to pull her out from the boring life she is having now.0 -
then you're too sensitive.I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...
nah, I think you should be bringing any concerns about her lifestyle you have up to her. Maybe she enjoys life the way it is. Maybe she needs someone to talk to. It's not up to us to judge her lifestyle. Maybe it's what she has to do to keep weight off because of a medical condition.0 -
Tell her dancing is exercise and that the two of you are going out to CELEBRATE her amazing body.
Give her some notice and let her chose a place to eat (even if it is her car!)
She's probably been so focused that she's forgot what a good time can be. Like a bite of chocolate .. she might just need a taste to put her on the slippery slide (haa).
She's obviously very controlled, and good for her, but I know how miserable I've been when I've spent hours the night before pouring over the menu of the cafe I'm going to for breakfast .. just to pick the lowest calorie meal (without ordering a slice of toast & black tea) .. just to sit and feel sorry for myself when everyone else is enjoying a plateful of bacon & eggs. BUT when I step on the scales the next day and have lost 1 pound .. well heck girl, it was worth it!0 -
Mind you, I worked with a girl who ate in her car as well. Told everyone her diet secrets were salads and small dinners. Turns out she'd secretly had gastrict banding and all she was eating for lunch was a party pie.
NOW THAT"S MISERY lol0 -
Maybe she's happier now that she's lost her weight even despite her lack of social life. Maybe going out drinking and eating wasn't making her happy? She may be more than happy to sacrifice drinking and meals out for her new gorgeous body? I know which I'd choose if I had to....0
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Some people can eat everything/work out much less and still get away with it because they portion control and practice NEAT
Others have to workout 2 hours everyday and avoid parties.I think she is doing what works for her and i am sure she is having a great time otherwise she wont be doing it.You have to make peace with the cards you have been dealt!0 -
Maybe i'm mean but i think shes setting herself up for eventual failure. If you can't have any fun eventually your going to say "screw it" and go off the wall. Losing weight isn't about punishing yourself and that's what it seems like she's doing. I guess if she is enjoying herself it doesn't matter but that doesn't sound like too much fun to me.0
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I dunno, it seems like you are being the judge and jury for what she gets to consider fun. Maybe going and drinking and hanging out with people in a social setting just isn't fun for her. Maybe her two hour workout is the part of her day she looks forward to the most. After losing a hundred pounds, her relationship to food has changed so a cheat meal is whatever she considers it to be.
As someone that doesn't drink or smoke and enjoys staying in and reading books, people are always thinking I'm not having a good time. No, this IS a good time to me. Only I get to decide that, just like she does0 -
Maybe i'm mean but i think shes setting herself up for eventual failure. If you can't have any fun eventually your going to say "screw it" and go off the wall. Losing weight isn't about punishing yourself and that's what it seems like she's doing. I guess if she is enjoying herself it doesn't matter but that doesn't sound like too much fun to me.
People have different ideas of 'fun' though. To me going out drinking every weekend isn't fun. I would hate it. Maybe to her her fun is now being fit, getting in a good workout and feeling great. She may of been totally miserable before. I don't get how people equate healthy lifestyle with boring. It all depends on the individual,0 -
Sounds like she's making her own choices about the quality of her life. You should let her know you're available to help her decide which activities are living life and which are unacceptable expenditures of time, though. I am sure she would like the help of someone who has it all figured out.0
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If she's a grown up, then its her choice. Ask her to come with you to events which doesn't involve food and let her know she can leave if you guys decide to hit a restaurant or something after the event so she won't deny due to fear of being around high calorie food0
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:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating
THAT!!!0 -
Okay, and what was sense of this forum post?0
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pot, kettle, hello we're both black.
I seem to remember reading a post by you a while ago that said you'd cut out your social life for a few weeks because you didn't want to be tempted by the cals in alcohol or fast food.
Edited to add:
you do that having lost 5lbs. Imagine, having lost a hundred pounds, how desperate you'd feel then to keep your control and not destroy everything you've worked so hard for.0
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