a girl i know lost about 100lbs

peopletalk

through good ol' fashioned hard work and exercise. she looks amazing and she's so skinny now.
BUT my issue is she's a sales rep and literally isn't living her life. she's at her goal weight but i asked her a bunch of questions:

me: what do you do at work events? there's lots of food and alcohol
her: when everyone else eats, i goto my car and have my protein shake

me: do you go out and have fun?
her: once in awhile. i cut out all my social life to lose this weight.

me: do you have cheat days?
her: i have a cheat meal once a week. this week i had a small popcorn at the movies.
(wtf?! popcorn is not a meal!!!!)

me: how often do you workout?
her: i see a trainer every day after work for 2 hours a night and go home and sleep.


okay, my issue is yes she looks great, and this might work for her. but damn, i feel like she's missing out on life!

barbiecat

:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating

peopletalk

:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating

yes but there's more to a perfect body. she barely sees any of her friends more than once a couple months now. and at fancy work dinners she actually leaves to eat her healthy food alone in her car.
there's more to life than eating but that isn't life.

karen_golfs

That's just sad

dg09

That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.

ecw3780

I'd rather be fat. Yep, I said it. You can't make this a lifestyle if it doesn't fit into your real life.

peopletalk

That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.

i said it works for her. but it wouldn't work for me.
i understand everyone is different but it's sad seeing a woman with so many close friends, and then she decided to choose weight over friendships.

lizlkbg

That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.

This.

Babeskeez

I wouldnt rather be fat but I surely could not live like her.

Makes me sooooooo glad that I found out about Road Map

chubbygirl253

I see where you are coming from. But let her be the judge of how well she is spending her life. Some people might consider your fave pastimes a complete waste of time. Many people think women like myself who dont have any kids to be wasting their God-given purpose in life. I, for one, can't understand the hours and money spent on the Twilight books and movies. My neighbors would disagree. They took a vacation to Forks, WA.

Maybe when her control over diet and exercise is a bit stronger she plans to integrate social things back in slowly. Maybe not. Despite your eagerness to play 20 questions maybe she didn't feel like opening up to you about some of her reasons. Maybe her friends were unsupportive during her weightloss. Maybe improving herself brought some of her friends behaviors to light (like maybe they are all into heavy partying) and she might be trying to stay away from that. Maybe she just went through a breakup and her ex still hangs out with the friends. Maybe he brings his new girlfriend. I could go on all night. I'm just saying, she may have reasons that didnt come up in your interview of her. But you should let her decide if she is really living or merely existing.

onyxgirl17

I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...

peopletalk

I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...

then you're too sensitive.

peopletalk

i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.

and i didn't interview her, she was more than willing to open up. she was doing lots of the talking.
and no, she said she cut out her social life to lose the weight.

wmoomoo

What makes you think she is not living her life? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad? Would you rather see her gain back that 100lbs and socialize?

peopletalk

What makes you think she is not living her life? Do you know her for a long period of time? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad?

because she straight up said she doesnt have a life anymore lol.
and yes, i've known her for almost 3 years. and she just lost it all in about a year and a half. her bodies amazing, but her personality is vastly different.

AnvilHead

i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.

FWIW, I agree 100% with you that it wouldn't be my choice either. I prefer the "everything in moderation" approach and have no intention of making weight loss such an obsession that it consumes my entire life. One doesn't have to be orthorexic and a social pariah to successfully lose weight/be healthy. Some people are "all or nothing", and if it works for them that's fine - just not the way I choose to go about it.

terracotti

why not she just eat food she likes in moderation. popcorn as a cheat meal, my cheat meal will be cheese fusilli or some slices of pizza.

wmoomoo

What makes you think she is not living her life? Do you know her for a long period of time? She chooses to be healthy... She chooses to take care of herself first and not be distract by others. Why is that sad?

because she straight up said she doesnt have a life anymore lol.
and yes, i've known her for almost 3 years. and she just lost it all in about a year and a half. her bodies amazing, but her personality is vastly different.

Ah ok. I just saw that you wrote you felt like she is not living her life. As her friend, do you think she is happier when she was 100lbs more compare to now? If you do, tell her how you feel. Maybe she is waiting for someone to pull her out from the boring life she is having now.

onyxgirl17

I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...

then you're too sensitive.

nah, I think you should be bringing any concerns about her lifestyle you have up to her. Maybe she enjoys life the way it is. Maybe she needs someone to talk to. It's not up to us to judge her lifestyle. Maybe it's what she has to do to keep weight off because of a medical condition.

Miss_Aurora

Tell her dancing is exercise and that the two of you are going out to CELEBRATE her amazing body.

Give her some notice and let her chose a place to eat (even if it is her car!)

She's probably been so focused that she's forgot what a good time can be. Like a bite of chocolate .. she might just need a taste to put her on the slippery slide (haa).

She's obviously very controlled, and good for her, but I know how miserable I've been when I've spent hours the night before pouring over the menu of the cafe I'm going to for breakfast .. just to pick the lowest calorie meal (without ordering a slice of toast & black tea) .. just to sit and feel sorry for myself when everyone else is enjoying a plateful of bacon & eggs. BUT when I step on the scales the next day and have lost 1 pound .. well heck girl, it was worth it!

Miss_Aurora

Mind you, I worked with a girl who ate in her car as well. Told everyone her diet secrets were salads and small dinners. Turns out she'd secretly had gastrict banding and all she was eating for lunch was a party pie.

NOW THAT"S MISERY lol