a girl i know lost about 100lbs

1Fizzle

Okay, and what was sense of this forum post?

^^^This!
Sounds like your friend has done a great job taking control of her life and getting things on track. Working out 2 hours a day doesn't mean you're living in a cave, I'm sure most of us have this type of regimen. She had popcorn as a cheat meal "this week"...that doesnt mean all the time, I'm sure she switches it up at her discretion. OP, you may not feel that your friend is living life, I see it as she is about to seize more of it.

amyjax

I admire your friend's focus and determination. She knows her friends are gossiping about her regime behind her back, posting on forums saying she's changed, but she's sticking it out because her health is more important. Going out being a social butterfly gets boring, really boring - I did it for years and wasted money, energy and time in places that I hated because my "friends" thought it was "omg the best night out ever!11!!!!1!!1!1!+++". Yawn.

axialmeow

As someone who was also once 100lbs heavier. It's worth the sacrifice.

gettingfitnana303

Well said.

jakidb

that's sweet you're concerned but i think this "girl" does what works for her

akj_25

I'd rather be fat. Yep, I said it. You can't make this a lifestyle if it doesn't fit into your real life.

i agree - my social life, family and friends, is what makes me who i am -- and i would never be willing to give that up.
whats the fun in being skinnny if you are not out showing it off, enjoying life. i have hid from parts of the world because i am self concious of my weight... i don't want to hide anymore.

i am trying to learn to have fun and lose weight - so far it is working.

Amberonamission

Give that girl my screen name and let her know that there are others out there who are just like she is. My sneakers are a way better friend than any booze drinkin, fatty food eating "friend" ever were. I went out all the time in my PAST LIFE. Now I stay in, pay off my debt and watch my body evolve. Even once I reach goal I will never again see what others see as a good time to be right for me. I have lost ALL of my unhealthy friends. It is just like being an ex drug addict.. You tend to not hang with your old addicted friends.

Life is sweet just living to be healthy.

sanndandi

I see where you are coming from. But let her be the judge of how well she is spending her life. Some people might consider your fave pastimes a complete waste of time. Many people think women like myself who dont have any kids to be wasting their God-given purpose in life. I, for one, can't understand the hours and money spent on the Twilight books and movies. My neighbors would disagree. They took a vacation to Forks, WA.

Maybe when her control over diet and exercise is a bit stronger she plans to integrate social things back in slowly. Maybe not. Despite your eagerness to play 20 questions maybe she didn't feel like opening up to you about some of her reasons. Maybe her friends were unsupportive during her weightloss. Maybe improving herself brought some of her friends behaviors to light (like maybe they are all into heavy partying) and she might be trying to stay away from that. Maybe she just went through a breakup and her ex still hangs out with the friends. Maybe he brings his new girlfriend. I could go on all night. I'm just saying, she may have reasons that didnt come up in your interview of her. But you should let her decide if she is really living or merely existing.

great answer!

CherokeeBabe

It might seem sad to people that are very social, but it depends really on who she is and how important things like that are to her. I see people on this site telling people to 'avoid temptations', 'don't put yourself in a position where you know you'll be tempted', 'bring your own lunch and eat it away from co-workers that will try to make you eat more/splurge', 'make sacrifices for what is important to you', 'put YOU first'....

Sounds to me like she's basically doing these exact things, and it's working for her!

fitbum19

That's how she chooses to live her life, what's wrong with that? It's not sad at all.

i said it works for her. but it wouldn't work for me.
i understand everyone is different but it's sad seeing a woman with so many close friends, and then she decided to choose weight over friendships.

If my friends don't support me, then I find new friends. I agree with her way of doing things. I give in, but I wish I had her determination.

StaceyJ2008

:bigsmile: There's a lot more to life than eating

yes but there's more to a perfect body. she barely sees any of her friends more than once a couple months now. and at fancy work dinners she actually leaves to eat her healthy food alone in her car.
there's more to life than eating but that isn't life.

Please understand that I know how she feels. I lost a lot of friends because all they wanted to do was go out and eat junk or go out and drink. Honestly she sounds like she is taking control of her health and doing what makes her happy. You never know, she might have needed to lose weight to look better but she may have HAD to lose weight because of her health. She might be extremely happy with her life.

sandylion

I agree with you! I think if that's what it took for me to loose the weigh I would keep it off for 6 months, then snap, and put it all back on. If it works for her, great. If she does find it's unsustainable, hopefully she will find out how to add a bit more balance to her life without returning to an unhealthy lifestyle. There are plenty of very fit, healthy people who maintain without making it their sole raison d'etre. You don't have to choose between being fat and being social, there are other options!

libbymcbain

I would be quite hurt if I was that girl, and reading this post. Just saying...

then you're too sensitive.

People are as sensitive as they are. Some people have thick skin, some people have thin skin. just like some people are tall and some people aren't. Saying "you're too sensitive" if you hurt someone is just a way of not taking responsibility for your own mistaken behaviour, refusing to learn from your mistake and trying to blame them for your problem.

It is this girl's choice how she lives her life. She is not forcing you to do the same. She is not (as far as I know) judging your choices in the way you are judging hers. It is up to her.

You don't want to make those changes- fine, that's your choice. Her life is her choice.

She may or may not gradually ease up on herself when she gets more confident in her ability to maintain her weight. She may or may not socialise at her gym, she might get on really well with her trainer. Maybe she got into it one step at a time and so the changes didn't seem so dramatic. But that's all beside the point, because it is her choice.

Maybe your reaction tot his is telling you something. Trying to expose her to ridicule here might point to something in yourself. Are you doing this because you are jealous that she has the strength and discipline to make those changes and you don't? If that's the case, then realise that maybe she made those changes one step at a time and now they seem natural and right to her. Maybe her health and how well she feels make the sacrafice worth it.

Faye_Anderson

i find it amazing how people are lecturing me when i've said YES it works for her and YES she looks amazing, but her weightloss path wouldnt be my choice.

and i didn't interview her, she was more than willing to open up. she was doing lots of the talking.
and no, she said she cut out her social life to lose the weight.

I don't think people are "lecturing" you, it's fair enough that it wouldn't be your choice but instead of posting a topic here or asking her random questions why not suggest she joins the site and see there are different approaches to being healthy?
You clearly stated your opinion but you're sounding people out for voicing theirs because it is different to yours.
At the end of the day if she's found some way that this works for her and she's perfectly happy I don't see what business it is of yours to disagree with her methods, if it's because you are a good friend and you are concerned would your time not have been better spent telling her about MFP rather than telling MFP about her?

neverstray

I see both sides of this. To me, going out with friends ALWAYS means drinking, and usually means getting hammered. I'm sick of it, to be honest. Don't we do anything else? The answer is no. All my friends, since I stopped drinking, have abandon me. Every god damn one of them. So, f*** 'em. I guess we weren't really friends as much as drinking buddies. I never knew that. What started that for me, was when I got divorced. I saw how my friends acted, and I got suspicious that no one really gave a *kitten*. When I stopped drinking, I find out they really didn't. Phone stopped ringing and the fun stopped.

I know this isn't the case with your friend, or maybe it is. It's funny when you don't want to participate anymore, how that might impact your life. Your friend is maybe going through the same thing, where she pulled away to be healthy, and it's not really that she abandon her friends, but they don't support her choices and its just easier to focus on the things she wants. She's focusing on her health. She probably enjoys her time and feels that what she's doing is right.

I'm doing a similar thing where I go to the gym 4 nights a week. I basically have no social life at all as a result. But, that's fine because my social life consisted of going to work hungover all the time, and I'm just getting really tired of that. Are there any people out there that do things without including drugs and alcohol? I'm sure there are, but I haven't been able to find them. I also really don't know what to do socially without a beer in my hand, so it's on me too. I take some of the responsibility. It's easier to avoid social things than to figure it out.

Anyway, just some perspective. Am I missing it on life, some would say yes. But, I think my ex-friends waste their time and money in bars. They accomplish nothing. They do nothing. They are fat and lazy and borderline alcoholics that think fun is drinking and causing trouble. I will do things on weekends. That's when I have time. Need new friends for that. Right now, I'm not sure where to find people that have similar goals. I just want to be active and do things without involving alcohol. Seems impossible.

berly153

i think shes done amazing but how can you stick to that as a lifestyle? surely theres more to being thin than eating in your car that seems extreme. i personally couldnt do it. i enjoy food i enjoy drinking and social events (hence the need to lose weight). but i couldnt give up everything i love just to be slim.

irishblonde2011

You called her a girl I know...
Not my friend lost...

She is doing what is right for herself. Fair play to her.

Amy62575

Who are you to judge her? It sounds like you are basing your opinions on what YOU believe is right or fun? And why worry about what she's doing and not focus on what you need to do for yourself?

Just my thoughts.

trophywife24

So she's not even your friend, just a girl you know?

Time to mind ya business. Her body, her weight, her life, not your business. She'll eventually relax a little bit but she just lost an entire human being off of her body. She needs to figure it out for herself and frankly, you have no idea how you'd act after that big of a loss, either. Loosing a lot of weight changes people - it changes everyone..... sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. This 'girl you know' isn't doing anything self destructive.

wbf1911

I agree with you 100%. For me, a diet isn't working if I can't live my life the way I want to. I've gone on diets where I have been miserable because nothing was fun anymore. I looked great, but I was cranky and depressed and couldn't go out with friends because there was nothing to eat or drink. I'm trying to find the perfect diet where I can still have fun and lose the weight I need to lose. Your friend's way of life is not for me. Yes, it may be right for her and as someone pointed out, despite all appearances, maybe your friend was not happy before and she needs this solitude now. Who knows? I just know I agree with you.