Your support/relationship

notforgotten2012

I am so sorry to hear this. I was married for 15 years to someone who started out emotionally abusive, it got worse from there. Hun believe me when I say your man is not a man, and he may not even know that he is doing it, but he is emotionally abusing you. This is where it starts, kick it before it grows, and defiantly continue to seek support from people and from MFP. Keep up the good work, you can do this!

elizak87

My partner supports my choice to be healthy. I know though this was my choice and not his. I have lost 15kg in the past year and he has gained 20kg. He is double my weight, with high blood pressure, high cholestrol and at risk of diabetes. It isn't unusual if he has two sausage mcmuffins for breakfast, three meat pies for lunch and a pizza for dinner. End of the day he doesn't judge me and I don't judge him. If he wants pizza, I can, and have eaten subway while he does so. I am responsible for my own choices. I exercise while he plays playstation.

He moved in at the beggining of December he moved in. It has taken a month but he decided that he wants to get fit without mesaying a word. We walk together but it drives me crazy cause it's so slow. We have a goal of doing tough mudder in april.

End of the day I get healthy for me, not him. So I don't need his support.

cubbies77

My boyfriend is extremely supportive. He buys the groceries for the house (we split everything, so it's more fair than it sounds), and he doesn't mind when I want to get a bunch of healthy stuff that might be more expensive than the old junk diet I was on. He also loves my cooking and eats a lot of my "healthy" meals.

He doesn't really compliment my progress, but that's because he sees me every day and it's hard to notice the changes - much like it's hard for us to notice changes unless we take pictures. When I do show him my progress pictures, he always raises his eyebrows and says, "Wow."

I asked him once why he doesn't say more, and he said he's worried about saying the wrong thing. He said he feels like if he says, "You look great," I'll think he didn't think I looked great before, stuff like that. I told him not to worry, that I'd understand what he means, but he laughed, put his hands up, and playfully backed away, saying, "Uh-uh. Not taking that chance." So I know he's proud of me, even though he doesn't say, "Dang. You look so much smaller!"

When I get home from the gym, he asks if I had fun, and when I tell him my calorie burn, he high-fives me and says, "Good job."

mcflat29

Supportive. Resistant at first, but we're each doing our own thing. Different things work for different people and he has a tendency to skip the workouts and follow fads. I don't want a quick weight loss, I want a lasting one. I think he'd be less supportive but he's learned over the years that I can make really delicious healthy meals we both can enjoy and his father just had a massive heart attack that required open heart surgery and could have killed him... all because he wasn't taking care of himself. And when I got a look at his family history. Well, let's just say my baby will be seeing a cardiologist soon. He's not putting me through all that, I won't allow it.

So I guess we support each other, we just have different thoughts on how to get there. Occasionally we bump heads, but that's what most couples do.

dave4d

My wife is awesome. She buys cookies, then put them in baggies and puts her name on them, so they don't tempt me. She lets me cook my meals without argument, even though I can see the squirm on her face as I stink up the apartment, and make messes. She doesn't insist on eating out, and allows me to stay on track, waiting for me to offer to take her out. She doesn't complain about me exercising, or spending too much time at the gym. The biggest way she helps is constantly complimenting me, and bragging me up to her friends about my weight loss.

MizTerry

Nope, I'm doing this alone. I tried to get my family to do it. My mom joined, but she's not serious about it. My husband (bless him) says he doesn't see why I'm doing this, but I have to. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be almost 200 pounds.
My vanity is going to do me in one day.

JadeLesley92

were in it together (: it helps so much, not doing it on your own, for me anyway. were both doing well & getting where we want to be x

Ashuhbear

I can relate to some of you :-)
Think I'm going to just sit him down and talk..might even show him some of these replies and work out a compromise lol :-)

Stay strong, ladies and gentlemen :-)

trogalicious

and work out a compromise lol :-)

aaaaaand that's what it boils down to.

BinaryPulsar

I also just want to add that fitness is important to both my husband and I, but we just have a different relationship with fitness.

I am a dancer, I walk everywhere, I go to the gym for weightlifting, I take yoga, and I also hike and do physical activity for recreation. I am not a runner.

My husband rides his bike everywhere, goes out for runs and walks. Hikes up mountains with his friends and runs down. He does a lot of outdoor physical recreation. He is also a physicist and artistic. He builds for his job and also does technological sculpture and fixes our car and things around the home. He is very active playing with our children. He does not like to go to the gym. If I get him a free pass he will go with me, but he will not get or use a membership.

For fun we have always danced together.

He drinks soda and eats lot of granola bars, I don't. He has never had any alcohol in his life. We both like chocolate and peanut butter. I need to increase my iron and make sure I get enough protein, that does not bother him for that to be an aspect of our meals. I like some more spicier & unusual foods on occasion. There are some desserts I like that he does not. There are many vegetables that I will eat and he does not (Kale for example).

Both of us have always been fit and never needed to lose weight. I lost 5 pounds just to get back to my best fitness and to continue to maintain that. I also lost weight after having my babies. But, losing weight was never my focus. Being fit has always been my focus and whatever happens with my weight is just secondary.

akdollie

My husband isn't really that supportive. I think he would much prefer I remain a couch potato with him but my journey is about me and living longer to be with my daughter. She is the best cheerleader I could ask for! At 8 she understands the need to get healthy and active so I try to include her as much as I can. My office started and walk/run team 2 summers ago and she does the races with me and like to do yoga with me as well. I have my parents as a good support system and some of my co-workers and I just found this site through a co-worker this month. Its harder when your partner isn't your partner with this journey but it can still be done. I lost and kept off about 40 pounds about 4-5 years ago and then stalled myself and am now ready to finish what I started. Just remember, this is about you and you alone!

KenosFeoh

My husband is perfectly sweet to me and offers up supportive comments when prodded, but really - he couldn't care less. He's seen me start and abandon so many weight loss and fitness attempts that I'm sure he has no confidence in me whatsoever. But that's o.k. - he loves me as I am.

xViccas27

My SO is supportive.. but he does set up sabotage along the way

This. He is supportive and tells me when I'm doing well but does thing like eat pizzas in front of me and offer me some. I find that very hard.

Agreed. Late night ideas for Wendy's or Steak 'n' Shake, or just cooking/snacking late at night. He only likes crappy food (even though he's freakin' built, makes no sense), so we don't normally agree on what we eat.

cmreynolds98

My husband does/doesn't support me if that makes sense. It depends on the day. He has been walking/running on the treadmill some and was working out on our Bowflex for a while. He doesn't count calories or watch what he eats. I have been on him for drinking Mt. Dew (which has a very high sugar content). He (at 32) has been on blood pressure medicine for 3 years now and even with exercise. He complains about what I eat and tells me that I don't eat enough in the evenings for supper. So somedays I do have support and other days I do not.

nataliescalories

My husband is fairly supportive. I kind of resent that he didn't push us to get back on track sooner and totally was game for eating like crap, but whenever we are doing well he gets into it. He cannot cook to save Jesus, so that's unfortunate and puts a lot of pressure on me. I try to force him to plan one meal a day so he starts to realize what goes in to it. In the meantime, he is a badass sous chef and he is very precise with measurements.

Anyway, my suggestion is to teach your partner how to help you. I really think people just don't know what goes in to weight loss and what people need. Tell him he could walk with you, workout with you, cook with you, prep for you, measure for you, plan one meal a day or week, discourage eating out or unhealthy eating at home, etc. When all else fails, just mention to him how impressed you are with the (have pictures up!) madly ripped guys on MFP. lol

leilaphoenix

My fiance is amazing. I've been at this for two years and he has always been supportive but recently he has been particularly amazing. Started going running with me and even doing the 30DS in the living room with me and encouraging me to do it when I can't be bothered. He lets me cook when I want to do and doesn't think I'm a weirdo for weighing out all my food.

He was never unsupportive but has got more involved/interested in my journey as I've started to have success. I think that is common. That once you show you are serious and this isn't just another fad/failed attempt, you will get your other half's support.

However, with all that said, you should do this for you. Don't rely on someone else.

kbeech06

I'm in this on my own. Hubby eats what he wants, and expects the food he is used to. He doesn't make any comments about what foods I chose to eat, but he'll also sit next to me and snack on chocolates, or crisps every night.


Just keep at it! Do it for you!!

CaffeinatedConfectionist

My ex-boyfriend was not particularly supportive. He often complained that I was spending too much time working out and I think that he felt left out. He would lift weights with me, but I think that was at least partially because he was better at it than I was, so it didn't threaten him. He only once did HIIT with me, and when it turned out I had more stamina (he was a smoker, I'm not), he quit and never did anything but straight-up weights with me again. Lack of support/interest was not the primary reason that we broke up, but it was indeed a contributing factor, as eventually we just grew apart. I'm finding it a lot easier now that I'm living alone, and now that I have a consistent and motivated gym partner (my sister).

mcflat29

I take it back.... my boyfriend is a judgmental *kitten*... (We're having a stupid argument over a stupid topic his friends brought up and I'm really pissed at him right now)