What does your spouse or significant other think?

CinnamonKai

This is so unfortunate to say, but I am glad I am not alone!!! My boyfriend WAS supportive, until I fell off the bandwagon a few times. So, when I tell him "I'm going to lose weight, I'm on a diet" he says "Oh... again? Well... good luck". He is underweight while I'm overweight, so he doesn't believe in going on diets or trying to eat healthy.

When I talk to him about calories, it's like I'm talking to him in Chinese. He just doesn't understand. I try to persuade him to NOT eat junk food all the time, but, it kind of falls on deaf ears.

I am losing weight for primarily myself. I've had a weight issue before I met him (about seven years ago); and it has somewhat put a strain on the relationship. I'm too self-conscious to dress "feminine".

I know he will be supportive when I start losing the weight and showing progress. If not, then oh well. This is for me, anyway. I don't need him to be supportive. I can do this by myself.

MyChocolateDiet

My boyfriend won't even eat the healthy food I cook and makes no effort to support me directly.
All he says is
"Huh. Good for you."

My wife is the same, except she's not as supportive.

Yeah. I look really different and act different....no comment. Nothing. Yes it bothers me, because part of the reason I want to get healthy is so she will be proud of me. I know she has her own weight and health issues...I try not to dwell on it, and support her as best I can. Frustrated.

Maybe it's because my first diet my husband witnessed was so wacky I didn't expect him to try it. Or because when I met him he was a vegetarian and I was not and he let me order all the steak I wanted, but for some reason I never expected my hubby to "do" my diet with me. I cook my food as it's healthy for me and then adjust his for more taste and calories by say adding butter to his brown rice, or olive oil on top of his dish, or cheese on his veggies but not mine. Sometimes we'll eat the same thing but in different proportions like cauliflower mac and cheese I give myself a quarter of a plate and have it replace the starch and let him have lots more cause its a favorite for him and then he gets less peas and I get more and he gets his with butter and salt and i like mine plain, etc. I really advise against putting those closest to you on your diet. Only twice in my life has anyone put me on their idea of an eating plan and both resulted it horrible weight gain. Once while bedridden due to injury my mom restricted my portions all of a sudden. I was so often hungry that a family member and I got in the habit of sneaking me donuts and ice cream. Second time after a surgery while recovering a non-nutritionist tried to leave me with a cooler full of food while at work, but it was filled with whatever he thought needed no cooking which was mostly nuts, jello's, puddings, and other snack foods and junk foods. I gained weight both times and then had to lose it. Please remember your diet is for you not for everyone in your arm's reach. I just hate it when I have no choice of what to eat, and try to imagine how you'd feel if your partner started something that THEY were psychologically and emotionally ready for but tried to make you do it. And you didn't even really understand it, or think it's benefits were for you.

Yes it bothers me, because part of the reason I want to get healthy is so she will be proud of me. I know she has her own weight and health issues...I try not to dwell on it, and support her as best I can. Frustrated.

This part brings to mind a song with lyrics that say "and if you don't expect too much from me you might not be let down."

MyChocolateDiet

My husband is doing this with me. He's very supportive and positive about it all. I hope everyone who is in a relationship has a very supportive significant other!

Same here! I introduced him to MFP and he was instantly addicted. We work out together, he trains me on the weights. He has his own goals and we are each other's biggest supporters!

"he has his own goals" I think that's the most important part, he is in on it too for himself and by himself and THEN the two of you can do it together. I'll tell you right now no way is my hubby gonna slim fast with me. I don't think he should either, he's at a healthy weight, I'm the one with the problem and this is my solution that has worked for me, I don't expect it to be everyone's cup of tea or solution either.

Mutant13

My s/o varies between the extremes quite a bit. He joined the gym with me and eats the healthy stuff I cook, he bought me some great fitness gear at Christmas and generally takes an interest in what I'm doing

But he also gets insecure about why I'm trying to get in better shape, doesn't really agree with me logging everything/being concerned if I don't fit my macros/not wanting to always drink when we go out

Mostly I think he is trying his hardest to be supportive though, so I'm glad for that

kmmcquay

My boyfriend likes to exercise and eat healthy, so when he found out that I wanted to become healthier and shed off some weight, he was supportive all the way. He's basically my gym partner and he helps me be wise about what foods I'm consuming. I couldn't have asked for a better supporter, really. And he's one of the reasons why I want to exercise and improve my health, so he's also a motivator!

WHOOHOO! GO YOU

kmmcquay

Now that I think about what I said in my previous post...

I also like to add, my fiancé - well he would eat what I would eat for dinner but most of the times he'll drink pepsi and eat ice cream in front of me. He is not doing it on purpose to wave it in front of me. Sometime it does get annoying because I am a little concerned about him, eating so much sugar he doesn't need. I just recently talked to him and hopefully he'll come to realize that there are alternative ways to eat in a healthier way. He craves sugar often. But other than that, he is supportive to me; he motivates me and somehow he also motivates me in a way of how he eats and how i eat and when I look at him eating the wrong choices he made - I'm actually more relieved and am eating a lot healthier. I know how strange it sounds but yeah. He would applaud the work that I've made, working out, and losing weight. He's a motivation buddy, my best friend, and my fiance.

STrooper

Its been a mixed bag. Maybe a certain satisfaction that I am taking care of myself, bit also that accusation that I've "found someone else." I've done this for myself though I hoped that there would be some benefits for our relationship. i cannot say that has occurred, certainly not on the level of intimacy.

elsinora

I have to say that I'm incredibly lucky as I have the most supportive and loving fiance. while he has always made me feel attractive and beautiful even when I've put on weight or stopped exercising for whatever reason etc he has always been supportive of me being strong, active and healthy . he always supports and applauds me for being fit and healthy and likes that I focus on being happy and healthy and do lots of strength training rather than just a number on a scale or not eating very much. we help each other and he now cycles everywhere instead if taking the train to work and eats all the healthy stuff. we also mutually have blow out days going to great restaurants we' 're partners in crime x

hoosierlad

It is interesting. My wife has always been and still is a real beauty, in all ways. She is use to being complimented, the center of attention, certainly as opposed to me. However, I also look younger than my age, and now, with my focus on physical fitness and "fat" loss, I'm constantly getting compliments and comments from her friends and our families as to how I'm looking. Due to my weight lifting , building muscle while losing body fat, I get a lot of comments about my arms, shoulders, etc. which I think somewhat bother her when coming from other women. My wife has always told me she likes me to be a little bigger as opposed to getting too skinny. Not sure what totally drives that thinking. Anyway, I have goals that I'm going to achieve...15-17% body fat, with a good dose of my former cardiovascular levels. Another aspect, word of caution to spouses / significant others, refrain from telling your spouse / significant other, at least in front of people, that they should work out like "XYZ" so they can build big arms , shoulders, etc...it really does embarrass and makes them mad..even if they try not to show it.

krissy_krossy

My husband is very supportive, if sometimes a little brutally honest. He used to try to get me to eat more because he seemed to think that I wasn't eating enough. But when I told him I seriously wanted to get healthy, that him pushing me to eat as much as him was detrimental, that my health concerns were serious, and even admitted that I had gained 40 POUNDS since we got together, he started helping me out. He's not overweight or unhealthy and, up until he got too busy with work, he used to bodybuild so he doesn't join me in my healthier eating so much. Still, he tells me he's proud of me for working on it, sticking with it, and the weight I've already lost. He helps keep me on the right track and now doesn't push me to eat more than I should. He loves me at any weight, but he's happy that I'm working on being healthy so I'll be around for a lot longer.

Actually, the only time he's difficult about it is when I want to walk the dog for a bit and he's feeling lazy. He'll eventually come with but there's a bit of grumbling to get him out of the door.

helengohlke

I did not expect so many replies and so many postive replies. It is good to see that love is indeed alive in this world.

spozzybear

My husband has seen me start and abandon so many weight loss and/or fitness efforts that he's completely lost confidence in me, I think. He's been good to me through fat and thin, so my weight loss and fitness efforts truly don't matter to him. I'll just have to stay the course this time and surprise both of us.

Yep I hear ya on that one. My hubby just does the "nod n smile". He loves me no matter what size I am though. Time to show him what I'm made of!

CarlieeBear

I have the most inspiring, supportive partner in the world.

I thought I did! My bf is also trying to eat healthier, so we encourage each other. He totally encourages me to be healthier. He's perfectly happy with my curves as far as attraction/appearance goes. For us it's all about health and fitness (I'm more into fitness...hoping he will be once he gets decent running shoes).

He's also trying to quit smoking, so is trying to make 2 huge changes at once. It's so much easier for me for a number of reasons, but he doesn't get jealous...well, maybe a little when he sees I've logged in to MFP every day since I started. He gets excited over my successes. He encouraged me to try the elliptical and I love it. He loves hearing about my workouts and texts me things like "How's my super sexy workout girl?" when I'm at the gym.

Love love love him :-)

CarlieeBear

It is interesting. My wife has always been and still is a real beauty, in all ways. She is use to being complimented, the center of attention, certainly as opposed to me. However, I also look younger than my age, and now, with my focus on physical fitness and "fat" loss, I'm constantly getting compliments and comments from her friends and our families as to how I'm looking. Due to my weight lifting , building muscle while losing body fat, I get a lot of comments about my arms, shoulders, etc. which I think somewhat bother her when coming from other women. My wife has always told me she likes me to be a little bigger as opposed to getting too skinny. Not sure what totally drives that thinking. Anyway, I have goals that I'm going to achieve...15-17% body fat, with a good dose of my former cardiovascular levels. Another aspect, word of caution to spouses / significant others, refrain from telling your spouse / significant other, at least in front of people, that they should work out like "XYZ" so they can build big arms , shoulders, etc...it really does embarrass and makes them mad..even if they try not to show it.

Some of us just don't find super skinny guys attractive. I much prefer teddy bear types...much more snuggly.

My bf gets unsolicited comments that he's lost weight. I don't, but when I ask (close family members or friends) they say absolutely. I've lost at least twice as much weight as him, but his is all coming off in one place. I tease him about it, but really do understand.

zoukeira

My husband kicked me (& my special needs son) out & blamed my weightloss. Just incase you thought he was a heartless b***ard he did it lovingly by TEXT. Obviously lots of things going on there, he was a PT & a bodybuilder but had got very fat after injuries & my loss just made him jealous & insecure. Fast forward to now & my boyfriend is very supportive & toying with the idea of giving it a go himself.

celebrity328

My husband is awesome !

He has loved me no matter my size but since losing weight our relationship has changed for the better. I eat a very clean diet because of allergies and he has supported my choices (no matter HOW weird they might be!) On days I work late he cooks me dinners and on my days off we cook together and try new things. Overall the best thing is when he tells me he can tell/see changes in my body

jadelucywatson1

My boyfriend is as supportive as he can be. I think the biggest problem is that he is underweight, so has to eat a lot of high calorie foods to stay healthy. When we cook together it's always really difficult for me to have to eat something tiny and healthy while he eats what I'd rather have!

The other problem is that he doesn't seem to understand how difficult it is. In theory dieting is easy, stop eating junk and don't eat too much. In reality it's a real struggle a lot of the time, constantly being tempted. But then you all know that! Sometimes it feels like he doesn't appreciate that it really is difficult and that when I do crave something sugary he treats it like I'm just giving up. If I'm in a bad mood because I want something I can't have he thinks it's just an excuse to be grumpy.

Having said all of that, my waist is already showing some signs of shrinking and he loves it. I guess having someone by your side has it's positives and negatives. His negative influence drives me up the wall but I know that he is proud of me and the end result will be worth it

mmddwechanged

He thinks I'm sexy:)