RANT: Careless Weightloss Goals!

Andrea3030

Yeah, I feel real stupid. I made a deal with a friend that if we got to 135 pounds on the scale we would go for a girls weekend retreat. We weigh the same right now, but both are very different. I have lost over 60 pounds and have built a lot of muscle. She on the other hand is a lot of flab and is probably at her max weight. She will probably drop, just watching what she eats. For one, she hasn't already lost any weight, two, she is not building any muscle, etc.... Plus she is like 3 inches short than me.

I am gonna work really hard to achieve this goal. Knowing everything I know, doing what I know works.

Stupid for me to put myself under that presure. I would much rather my body look good, than see a number on a scale.

But we will see who wins in the end, me with my fantastic hard body or her, doing hers her way.

Wow, you are a really sweet "friend."

cwolfman13

I'm going to take a few minutes and rant a little. It's that time of year again where people are looking to better themselves and set goals for weight loss. I've seen the posts all over the place with challenges folks have set for themselves or competitions with others. While all these are great, the focus doesn't need to be just on weight. If you are doing these types of things and the only marker for success is what the scale reads, you're doing it wrong! If you are eating below BMR on daily basis, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what BMR means, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what your BMR or TDEE is, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't taken measurements, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't calculated your body fat percentage, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!

Posts like this just make newbies (like me) feel further deflated, like we've no clue what we're doing and people like you are somehow better than us or above us.
You're doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong...yeah well, we're trying and joining a site like this is a big step. We're learning. We'll get there. We can't know all the 'right' things to do automatically, if we came here with all the knowledge we probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. I understand you want to offer advice to others but posts like this are just annoying.
I hadn't even heard of things like TDEE before I joined this site and I'm slowly working it all out, whilst trying to make some major changes in my life which isn't easy. I'm asking others on here for advice when it's needed.
I'm very sorry that us newbies are p*ssing you off because we're not as awesome as you are just yet but please just give us some time and the ones who are truely motivated and in it for the long haul will learn all the 'proper' things to do with time, we don't need your patronising posts screaming how crap we all are.

You have to understand where the frustration comes from...it's not with newbies in general...it's newbies that ask for advice...they are given sound and solid advice from people who have learned all of this stuff...and just simply ignore it while they wait for a post that just happens to agree with their flawed "science."

When I first started here, I didn't know anything either...I didn't know BMR or TDEE....but you damn well better believe that it only took a couple of veteran MFPers telling me to find out to get me to do so. When I first started out, as a foodie, I thought my love of food would be forever over...that all I would have to look forward to in life were sticks of celery and carrots...then I started listening to a bunch of MFPers and looking at my macros as well as my calories and making better decisions, while at the same time realizing that I can eat actual food and still lose weight.

The frustrations comes from telling someone they are starving themselves netting 700 calories per day and they just shrug their shoulders and move on as if they know. They obviously don't know because they have no understanding that 1,200 calories includes a huge deficit from their TDEE already and is in many cases well below their BMR...they are starving themselves and they do not listen. Some of us actually do care about the well being of fellow members, whether noobs or not and are concerned for their health and safety...and it's very frustrating when they don't listen.

geekyjock76

I tell people fat loss is an important intervention in one's life which should be taken thoughtfully. If I were to equate it to another life event, in terms of seriousness, the next closest would be purchasing a home. You don't just hand over someone money upon driving by the house or ask the value of the neighbor's house - you get it appraised and try to find out literally everything you can about the home first.

It would benefit people tremendously if they were to take the time to educate themselves about things such as RMR, TDEE, the Energy Balance Equation, nutrition, and how calorie restriction affects the endocrine system prior to making any significant changes to their lifestyle. Without any knowledge, baseline data, or sufficient and varying means to assess progress, people are greatly reducing their changes at successful fat loss and ability to keep it off.

The best advice my father ever gave me (which I honestly did not adhere to enough) was, "If you're going to do something, go about it the right way so you don't have to do it again."

concordancia

I agree with the sentiment, but not all of the details. It is in the details that you are putting off people who don't already think like you.

For example, I really don't need to know my body fat percentage right now - I have a beach ball on my waist, celulite on my *kitten* and kids think my arms are nice and soft to lean against. I suspect it is lower than my BMI, because I am smaller than the only other time in my life I was at this weight and stronger than I was this time last year, even at a lower weight. Perhaps having an actual number would give me a means of setting goals for smaller numbers, but for now, not having a beach ball attached to me is good enough (I should totally add that to my list!)

Also, I have calculated my BMR and my TDEE. If I eat back my calories, my MFP numbers are pretty much the same, within 100 calories. I can deal with that margin of error (<10%), as I know that food labels can be off by 20% and I don't even use a HRM, so my burn calculations are wild guesses. Others have come to the same conclusion, many have lost weight just by following the MFP program, without even doing the calculations.

NCchar130

You absolutely CAN lose weight without counting calories, without working out, and without knowing a thing about TDEE or BMR. I've done it! At least 5 times! And I gained it back every time.

I'm so grateful for everything I learned that brought me to MFP in the first place and everything I've learned/still learning since I arrived. Otherwise, I'd have gone with the old standard 1200 cal target I've heard all my life for women when it turns out I can eat 1600-1800 a day plus exercise calories and lose steadily without feeling sick with hunger.

breeshabebe

Crap. I think I'm doing it wrong. What's TDEE/BMR?

In case you weren't being sarcastic. Check this link for answers

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

If you were being sarcastic.....cool, I like sarcastic. Just ignore the link.

Thanks! It was actually one of those... oh haha this is sarcastic- but no, really, please tell me type-of-things... LOL the info is appreciated!

SquidgySquidge

I'm going to take a few minutes and rant a little. It's that time of year again where people are looking to better themselves and set goals for weight loss. I've seen the posts all over the place with challenges folks have set for themselves or competitions with others. While all these are great, the focus doesn't need to be just on weight. If you are doing these types of things and the only marker for success is what the scale reads, you're doing it wrong! If you are eating below BMR on daily basis, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what BMR means, you're doing it wrong! If you don't know what your BMR or TDEE is, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't taken measurements, you're doing it wrong! If you haven't calculated your body fat percentage, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!!!

Posts like this just make newbies (like me) feel further deflated, like we've no clue what we're doing and people like you are somehow better than us or above us.
You're doing it wrong, you're doing it wrong...yeah well, we're trying and joining a site like this is a big step. We're learning. We'll get there. We can't know all the 'right' things to do automatically, if we came here with all the knowledge we probably wouldn't be overweight in the first place. I understand you want to offer advice to others but posts like this are just annoying.
I hadn't even heard of things like TDEE before I joined this site and I'm slowly working it all out, whilst trying to make some major changes in my life which isn't easy. I'm asking others on here for advice when it's needed.
I'm very sorry that us newbies are p*ssing you off because we're not as awesome as you are just yet but please just give us some time and the ones who are truely motivated and in it for the long haul will learn all the 'proper' things to do with time, we don't need your patronising posts screaming how crap we all are.

You have to understand where the frustration comes from...it's not with newbies in general...it's newbies that ask for advice...they are given sound and solid advice from people who have learned all of this stuff...and just simply ignore it while they wait for a post that just happens to agree with their flawed "science."

When I first started here, I didn't know anything either...I didn't know BMR or TDEE....but you damn well better believe that it only took a couple of veteran MFPers telling me to find out to get me to do so. When I first started out, as a foodie, I thought my love of food would be forever over...that all I would have to look forward to in life were sticks of celery and carrots...then I started listening to a bunch of MFPers and looking at my macros as well as my calories and making better decisions, while at the same time realizing that I can eat actual food and still lose weight.

The frustrations comes from telling someone they are starving themselves netting 700 calories per day and they just shrug their shoulders and move on as if they know. They obviously don't know because they have no understanding that 1,200 calories includes a huge deficit from their TDEE already and is in many cases well below their BMR...they are starving themselves and they do not listen. Some of us actually do care about the well being of fellow members, whether noobs or not and are concerned for their health and safety...and it's very frustrating when they don't listen.

I do understand where the frustration comes from, I've seen the 'Im not losing weight fast enough' posts myself, but I just didn't like the OP's wording as it came across as patronising.

Anyway, I've hunted in 2 pharmacies today for a tape measure and no where seems to stock them. Weird huh? Considering it's 'weight loss season'. I need to find one so I can take my measurements and see where I'm really at.

AND while I'm here I have a genuine question...I'm set at 1220 calories a day. MFP chose this for me. But my problem is, I'm not hungry enough to eat all the calories I need, even though it's very low.
Last night I had some snacks just to get me there even though I could have happily gone without them.
So if I work out that I need to eat more calories, how will this work for me?
Is it what I'm eating? I'll open my diary now so you can all have a nosey...I want to get this sorted out now so I don't develop bad habits.
And by the way - I've already put my dinner in for today although it hasn't been eaten yet. And I'm not hungry for it, so I'll just be eating for the sake of it which surely can't be right?? I'm confused!

KenosFeoh

Not that I disagree with you, but I think a person can recognize that they need to take off some weight and start counting calories without knowing BMR, TDEE, body fat percentage, etc. I've calculated mine, but the numbers don't mean much to me. They are estimates/averages and may or may not apply to me personally.

wahmx3

well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR?

Love this!!

wahmx3

"Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR? "

It's really easy: you lose weight.

Oh, and you are not starving all of the time if you are eating lots of vegetables, protein, fruit and other such healthy whole foods.

Just because you have been eating so low that you don't get hungry anymore, doesn't mean that you aren't starving your body.

So true, eating too little for too long, messes up with your bodies natural hunger and saiety cues.

danasings

Lastly, don't be in such a hurry to hit some goal. You want this transformation to last. Take is slow and learn how to eat, what workouts you enjoy and what eating pattern fits your schedule.

People don't realize that getting the body you want can take years.

TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!!

Thanks to products like Slimfast, books like The 17-Day Diet and shows like The Biggest Loser, the general population is convinced that "slow and steady wins the race" doesn't apply to them.

HIITMe

well Im SICK of folks saying you MUST count BMR & TDEE ( the newest & latest macros for self-imposed gurus to insist everyone follow or else fail)


Im sick of people like the OP overcomplicating weightloss... eat a well balanced diet, take in less than you put out & exercise that includes stregnth training...you will lose weight and/or inches... SIMPLE... to hell with TDEE, BMR, counting points, calories, etc... I dont need to know or to count my body fat percentages...

if keeping a ledger and making a grad school project out of your daily meals works for you, so be it, but dont act like its the ONLY way for folks to shed pounds....

Query: How does one know they are taking in less than they are putting out without calculating calories and TDEE/BMR?

Love this!!

Im sure if yu sat on your *kitten* all day eating bon-bons and Pepsi in between McDOnalds and Burger King meals, you'd easily figure out that you took in more than you put out.....again, easy peasy

martinh78

Isn't that what the "guided goals" are for on MFP?

Give people a guide, set the goals for them, and let them get on with counting calories and earning some back via exercise?

I've just spent an hour looking at changing my goals as I think they are now too low for my changing goals. I read through TDEE/BMR etc etc. Did all of the calculations. Then went to the MFP guided goals and guess what...the MFP goal came out within 80 calories of the TDEE -20% calculation.

It doesn't have to be complicated. MFP does it for you. I don't think that MFP has got it wrong, its worked for many, many people on the site, me included. Set your loss at 1lb per week, choose an activity level that best describes you, and take it from there.

Not saying that TDEE/BMR/BF% etc is wrong, but hasn't MFP done the hard work for most people?

So those reading this wondering "what the hell??" don't rush off to change things. If the MFP goals are working for you then keep up the good work.

mag2906

Lastly, don't be in such a hurry to hit some goal. You want this transformation to last. Take is slow and learn how to eat, what workouts you enjoy and what eating pattern fits your schedule.

People don't realize that getting the body you want can take years.

THIS! I used to diet all the time: low fat, low carb etc. Whatever the latest hit was. After a few months, I always wanted that piece of chocolate or glass of wine... or whatever. But they were a big no no according to the diet plan I currently was on. So, I usually would give into that craving and since "I'm not on a diet today (and day after that and after that too!)", I could eat some more "forbidden" stuff... and here comes the yo-yo. lol

Most people want quick fix - starve for few weeks or months, hit that number on the scale and move on. Unfortunately it does not work that way.

MariaChele85

Skinny Fat-

To look slim, even with revealing clothes, but when touched, the touching hand sinks into fat before reaching muscle. Older people will 'show' "Skinny fat" visually, but young people have firm skin that hides it until they're touched.

A person who is not overweight and have skinny look but still have a high fat percentage and low muscular mass. Usually those people have a low caloric diet, that's why they are skinny, but are not involved in any sports activities or trainings and that's why they don’t have any muscle. Since between the bone and the skin those people only have fat, the skin can be deformed easily because the skin layer is located on an unstable matter (fat).

Skinny fat woman look sexy from a certain distance but they have soft jelly skin and still have some cellulite even if they are in there early 20s.

Sorry, I'll take "skinny anything" over being fat.

This is the problem with most women, not all, but most. We dont care about anything as long as we are "skinny". You want to be skinny but you can't even run a mile straight, or skinny and cant even lift a 10lb weight. A baby weighs more than 10lbs, how will you carry or nurse your baby. How will you carry groceries up stairs with out making a million trips to the car and back, all because you want to be skinny.
Women make me sick!

Cobwellac

I've only been using MFP for a short time and lost most of my weight before joining. I did track my calories to lose weight, but didn't really calculate my TDEE or anything like that. I ate a very low calorie diet for months (with occasional splurges) and lost between 25-30 pounds. I've recently begun eating close to TDEE for maintenance (even went slightly over a few times) and, strangely enough, have noticed slight weight loss. It's not all a perfect science, but do whatever works for you. If the scale numbers are edging downward, you're doing something right.

elizabethis

[/quote]

Anyway, I've hunted in 2 pharmacies today for a tape measure and no where seems to stock them. Weird huh? Considering it's 'weight loss season'. I need to find one so I can take my measurements and see where I'm really at.

[/quote]

Only going to respond to one piece I for sure know something about You can always find tape measures in stores that sell sewing supplies, such as JoAnn Fabrics.

SOOZIE429

Awesome post OP!! Thank you! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

LoveTexas

haha this is great

geekyjock76

Not saying that TDEE/BMR/BF% etc is wrong, but hasn't MFP done the hard work for most people?

MFP does indeed guide people well for the most part. However, the major criticism I have with MFP is that when people select their weekly weight loss goal, MFP does not provide any information to guide the person on which goal would be right for them according to how much fat mass they have vs how much they wish to lose - they nearly always choose 2 lbs because they want the weight off as fast as possible. Human thermogenics simply doesn't work that way which results in people creating threads stating they feel starved, fatigued, cranky, etc with the inevitable quick stalls.

I do not expect people to learn everything; but I do recommend at least understanding some of the basics first so their chances at reaching their goals are far greater.