Men! What motivated you? I need your help!

goblynn

I just started Jan 3 and have lost 11 pounds. I'm 60 years old and my starting weight was 200 and I want to get to 175. I can have a little over 1600 calories a day. I walk on the treadmill and do a 5K everyday and walk 18 holes of golf every Sat and Sun. My exercise routine allows me to have 2000-2100 calories a day. I've been on Weight Watchers, Grapefruit Diet, Adkins, Diet Center, etc and the only one I really liked was Diet Center but that cost a lot more today than it did 20 years ago. I bring my lunch daily, eat a fruit for breakfast and sensible dinner. I use the app for my phone when I don't have access to a computer. My Fitness Pal is a great program. My motivation is that I know that as you get older it is harder to lose weight even if it's just a few pounds. Once you see a couple of pounds gone there is more motivation to keep going. I can even have a cocktail or beer after work if I want. Hope this helps. I know entering the food is boring but look at the reports now and then to see your progress and I believe progress in itself is a motivator.

Thank you.. He went to the dr who told him he was obese which really upset him. It seemed to make him more depressed than motivated. Anyway, thank you!! He has tired some of the diets that you mentioned above and is in his mid 40's with 50-75lbs to lose. I think if he got here he would do well--- just need to find a way to get him here w/o making him feel bad. Again, thanks guys!!

goblynn

sorry dear, but the more you push him to join (and even though you may not feel like you're pushing or nagging, to him you are cause that's how the average guy thinks) the less he'll want to. he has to make the decision himself.

True. I know he views me as a total nag. Sniffle. Sniffle. It's not my intention but I know that is how he feels.

Then stop nagging. Regardless of whether or not you mean to, if he sees it that way you are probably hurting the chances he makes long term changes, not helping.

I don't feel like I am nagging as I only will bring up MFP when he opens up about being frustrated about his weight. I don't nag him about all that he eats or drinks or going to the gym or the way he looks. But when he complains about how terrible he feels b/c his pants aren't fitting then I usually tell him-- "why don't you check out the Pal. I have had great success using it. I will even log the food for you if you want me to"... The only reason I say anything is because he seems to want to lose weight so bad and can't seem to do it. If he were happy w/ the way he looks/feels I wouldn't even bring it up. I love him unconditionally- not saying that to be weird.... just want him to be happy.

TheRealJigsaw

My gf kept telling me how hot her male trainer looked. Got me off the couch.

sclarktiw

So I am a married guy with 4 girls and a boy (youngest). I have worked in the restraunt setting from age 13 to 31 full time and then part time from 31 to 36. I have always been a bigger guy from what I can remember. When I married my wife I was 21 and weighed about 240 lbs. I work away from home alot and am under a lot of stress from work and being away. So you can see why I have always been big, at my heaviest a few years ago I was 295 lbs. (NEVER AGAIN!)
With the weight gain came snoring and when I was able to be home I usually slept in the basement on the couch so the rest of the house could sleep, i was tested for sleep apnea but I dont have it. I used the strips which helped but barely. The marriage was going south. I then yo you dieted for a couple of years and lost 25 lbs (down to 270 lbs), then I helped build a house volunteering and lost another 10, but gained it back when I stopped being physical. Then I found MFP...and the rest like my weight is history...but not at the begining as I wasnt totally commited to it, it took about two months after I first found it to actually start to work.

Feel free to check out my before and after shots as well...maybe printing off some of the women and men before and after shots and inconspicuously leave them out where he might just happen to see them.

Good luck!

jacksonpt

sorry dear, but the more you push him to join (and even though you may not feel like you're pushing or nagging, to him you are cause that's how the average guy thinks) the less he'll want to. he has to make the decision himself.

True. I know he views me as a total nag. Sniffle. Sniffle. It's not my intention but I know that is how he feels.

Then stop nagging. Regardless of whether or not you mean to, if he sees it that way you are probably hurting the chances he makes long term changes, not helping.

I don't feel like I am nagging as I only will bring up MFP when he opens up about being frustrated about his weight. I don't nag him about all that he eats or drinks or going to the gym or the way he looks. But when he complains about how terrible he feels b/c his pants aren't fitting then I usually tell him-- "why don't you check out the Pal. I have had great success using it. I will even log the food for you if you want me to"... The only reason I say anything is because he seems to want to lose weight so bad and can't seem to do it. If he were happy w/ the way he looks/feels I wouldn't even bring it up. I love him unconditionally- not saying that to be weird.... just want him to be happy.

You said "it's not my intention, but I know that's how he feels." If that's the case, then you're nagging. Period. Stop. I know your intentions are good, but if he sees you as nagging then you're likely doing more harm than good.

diodelcibo

The idea of lifting heavy weights sounded cool when I first started.

elishazf

I just got sick of seeing everyone being more fit or in better shape than me. So I decided I wanted to be in better shape than them and had a picture of what I wanted to look like in my head and I just keep working towards that

Progman

My family is what motivated me. I love them and wouldn't mind sticking around for a while, to watch my kids and grand kids grow and spend some quality 'old people time' with my wife afterwards :happy:

hilliardjoe

I have two daughters (20 and 16 years old) and I had a realization that I would be walking them down the aisle one day (hopefully a few years away still).

I then realized that everyone would be looking at them but that I was going to be right there also and everybody would see me.

I then looked at myself and realized I don't want all those people to see me like I am now.

I want people to see my daughters and how amazing they are and then maybe take a second to think "their Dad looks pretty good for his age".

That was my initial motivation. Since then I've made progress and just feel better so I am getting good feedback that makes it easy to continue.

doug_pierce

I agree with what most people have said. The only thing I'd add is the increased mental acuity that accompanies being fit is a big motivation for me. I'm beginning to see a boost in my work performance.

justal313

2 things motivated me

First and foremost is my daughter. She is 16 months old and I'd like to spend a very long life with her.

Second is this... Last year on New Years day my buddy was given patriots tickets from a Mass Lottery Rep. It turns out the seats were in the 400 section at Gilette which is essentially the 3rd/4th tier/balcony/whatever-you-call-it. Getting to our seats felt like it was going to kill me, we missed kick-off and half the 1st quarter as I could bare make my way up. Oh, these weren't stairs, they were ramps. Now I know I had put weight on and I had actually made a New Years resolution to take some weight off, but that was the wakeup call I really needed and instead of having a half hearted resolution that would probably fail I knew that I couldn't stay in that kind of shape or I wouldn't be able to enjoy my time with my Daughter once she could walk or even crawl.

7 months later I ran a 10K that ended in that Stadium, I even got to run out through the giant inflatable patriots helmet and across the 50 yard line. Other times in the year, I would have gotten tackled by security and ejected from the stadium with great prejudice but instead I got to do this


(the photo of my crossing the finish got cropped by the MFP site so this one instead)

and this



oh and this



and of course this



it is of note I started like this



So get your husband going up and down some stairs or playing volleyball or anything else that will show him how out of shape he is (assuming he's out of shape)


Fitness is it's own reward. I am running 5 and 10Ks and I'll be attempting a 1/2 marathon this year. I did the warrior dash which was daunting fun.

RobfromLakewood

Even though I had tried to take pictures with people in front of me, my big fat face pushed me to get serious about weight loss. A friend I respect told me how MFP helped her. Seeing how many calories I was consuming, not thinking I was consuming was the key. Also, my wife did join with me and it was something we did together, though in my case I knew about it for an hour or two longer then her.

I think showing him the posts (and all the potential cleavage shots) and asking him to try for a month of dutiful logging and that you won't bring it up again if he doesn't find it useful could be a good plan of action.

leodru

Everybody has a moment that they can trace back to that FINALLY pushed them over the edge to do something about their weight. Unfortunately for you the moment has NEVER come from someone saying "i think you should lose weight". No matter how hard you try you can not provide him with a moment that will trigger him to accept the fact he needs to change. Keep doing what you are doing and eventually he may come around. I've been watching my weight for 13 years (omg that long? i'm 180 pounds and would like to lose 10 more but i'm fine where i am) and it never motivated my x-wife to lose weight - neither did people calling her fat when she was in high school - neither did shopping at plus size stores, not feeling comforable at the beach etc. A close friend of hers lost 60 pounds and became a trainer. She liked the fact that her friend did it and she joined the same program - she is down 28 pounds. Only personal motivation will do that - no external motivation. Good luck - support him with whatever he decides - he'll come around eventually.

trogalicious

What motivated me was me... just deciding that I wanted a different life. It wasn't that I was unaware of how unhealthy my day to day was, but the fact is: until HE wants to change, it won't really matter what any of us (or you) tell him.

Mr_Bad_Example

Motivators are different for everyone, and not everyone is really motivated to lose weight or get into shape. If he wants to do it... really wants to make a change... he will.

For me, the biggest motivator was envisioning how I wanted to look and feel. I didn't like being overweight and I didn't like feeling embarrassed to be seen in clothing that wasn't XL or XXL. Now, I look at pictures of myself at my current weight and think "I want to look and feel like that for as long as possible". So, that's what drives me.

Although it is nice to get compliments from women from time to time... heh.

goblynn

sorry dear, but the more you push him to join (and even though you may not feel like you're pushing or nagging, to him you are cause that's how the average guy thinks) the less he'll want to. he has to make the decision himself.

True. I know he views me as a total nag. Sniffle. Sniffle. It's not my intention but I know that is how he feels.

Then stop nagging. Regardless of whether or not you mean to, if he sees it that way you are probably hurting the chances he makes long term changes, not helping.

I don't feel like I am nagging as I only will bring up MFP when he opens up about being frustrated about his weight. I don't nag him about all that he eats or drinks or going to the gym or the way he looks. But when he complains about how terrible he feels b/c his pants aren't fitting then I usually tell him-- "why don't you check out the Pal. I have had great success using it. I will even log the food for you if you want me to"... The only reason I say anything is because he seems to want to lose weight so bad and can't seem to do it. If he were happy w/ the way he looks/feels I wouldn't even bring it up. I love him unconditionally- not saying that to be weird.... just want him to be happy.

You said "it's not my intention, but I know that's how he feels." If that's the case, then you're nagging. Period. Stop. I know your intentions are good, but if he sees you as nagging then you're likely doing more harm than good.

You sound just like him. Say no more. I won't bring it up again. But what do I do when he brings it up? Since you sound just like him I am really interested in your opinion. Seriously. I know it is hard to tell if someone is being a jerk, I'm not. I really want your advise.

Megamus55

I am an obesity researcher for a living, I am an expert on all things obese.....yet I have always been obese, My family motivated me to start, and start over and over again everytime I failed, what has me now is the fact that I let it go too far. To the point now where my health is a serious concern if i don't fix this. I know how depressing it can be expecially if you have failed a few times, but make sure he knows the health concequences, a talk with my doctor about my bloodwork and numbers scared the **** out of me.

I would also suggest an approach that doenst focus on weight as the outcome. The healthy lifestyle should be the outcome. Living active and eating well are the goal not a number on the scale. There are a ton of health benifits to living an active healthy lifestyle regardless of weight. try and motivate him trhough an activity or achievement, (running a 5k or compeating in a sport again or something that he is interested in.

good luck...be patient and remember everyone is ready on their own time

BorgieMN

Life motivates me. Life sucked before. Now life is f'ing wonderful. He can check out my story if he likes.

www.borgiesjourney.com

jaywood58

My clothes feeling too tight and how I look in the mirror. I finally said enough is enough. And besides, my wife works hard taking care of herself so I think I should do that in return.

Richie2shoes

I'm tired of everything being sore, all the time.