Ed's Nightmare Soup

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  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
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    How lovely that Ed cooks for you.

    I think that creativity is the same thing that doesn't allow men to ask for directions. Why use a cookbook? How hard can it be?

    Perhaps as a gift he might enjoy a cooking class. It's all in how you spin it - "Ed, sweetie, I love the way you cook for me, I thought you might enjoy learning to cook Thai!"

    ps I have a friend married to an Ed. One of his more notable improvisations was the addition of cointreau to a crunchily undercooked pea soup.
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    I think this story is very cute and it warmed my heart! :) Thank-you for sharing. Ed is just trying to show you how much he loves you....even though it may taste gross I would feel blessed to just have him at all, and especially cooking!! :)

    My hubbie is a retired pastor, and all of our church family call him Pastor Special Ed. He is definitely special, and I love him more than anyone else in the world.

    However, I will not put myself in line for a stomach ache...even for him. Ed has a cast iron stomach; he could eat nails. In fact, he once suggested adding nails to the pot. Why? "That would add IRON to the food." He really believe that. :noway:

    I have about 20 books (hidden away on a top shelf in the kitchen), including at least one crockpot book. I am terrified by what that book could become in the hands of my CREATIVE hubbie.

    I'm glad that so many of you enjoyed Ed's latest adventure in cooking. I thought that it might be something 'different' on the message board...and...it is about a Recipe. :laugh:
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
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    :laugh: I think I lost "0.5 lb" from laughing so hard reading this! Cheers to you and Ed! And your obviously VERY humorous relationship!

    Thank goodness my husband is a wonderful cook! :drinker:
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
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    One day my dad decided to make 'meatloaf', he took out a package of ground beef and cut it into 8 squares. Then he put it in the oven... package and all....not a single spice, nothing, not even pepper... Not to mention who the heck puts the entire package in the oven instead of in a pan? XD


    He makes award winning chili though! He's starting to mess around with a slow cooker, he's managed a few good things. :)
  • Karen5732
    Karen5732 Posts: 64 Member
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    What a wonderful story.. Thank you for sharing and making me laugh...:bigsmile:
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
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    Well he's doing better than my husband! On our anniversary he said, "I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed, but I don't know where anything is in the kitchen or what we have." That was honestly the sweetest thing he's ever done because I know how much he loathes cooking. The fact that he even considered it was the most romantic thing ever. Haha!
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Oh, Ed. *facepalm* I love my crockpot and I think the keys is limiting it to half dozen ingredients or less. The fancier you try to get tends to decrease the chances of a good turnout. I think I feel that way because the crock pot is a one-dish meal and I only like so many things thrown together. As for seasoning, I start with salt, pepper, and garlic and seldom branch too far from that. Go-to veggies are baby carrots, celery, potatoes, onion. I use cream condensed soups as a base (campbells healthy choice 95% fat free) or mixed found in the gravy/seasoning aisle for pot roasts, stews, etc. and keeping a resealable carton of lowfat broth in the fridge is a great idea so he isn't concocting his own. Tell him canned beans are much easier than soaking and boiling dried beans.

    He certainly sounds like a character! With some guidance those meals could be much less scary.
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    GAWD ED DONT YOU KNOW ANYTHING? You cant make broth without GARLIC....lots & lots & dont worry about peeling the damn things, the peels are fiber.....Trust me on this!
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    That's funny =)
  • EstiloPanama
    EstiloPanama Posts: 245
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    LOL....that is hilarious!!

    My fiance has a crock pot, and he has been making interesting things in there lately. He has become very creative with it..hehe.

    Your story was cute. Thanks for sharing :D
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,858 Member
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    Tell Ed that I am from the South and that I most assuredly consider pork to be a needed daily supplement.
  • alettep
    alettep Posts: 56 Member
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    Your story made me smile! It reminded me of when my grandpa used to cook for my grandma~his favorite kitchen tool was the "salad shooter" which he would use for potatoes instead of salad.......always seemed to turn into this interesting, sort of slimy dish. It was kind gross to eat but he thought that it just worked so slick! My grandma was alot like me & just happy she didn't have to cook:smile:
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    reminded me of when I first got married and my husband couldn't cook anything

    One time he made hummous that was so runny that you had to use a spoon to get it on the bread. "but the recipe didn't say you had to strain the chickpeas!"

    Another time I asked him to watch a pan of tinned spaghetti while I got ready to go out. I got back and the spaghetti was stuck to the bottom of the pan.

    "I thought I asked you to watch the spaghetti"

    "I did"

    "why didn't you stir it?"

    "you didn't tell me to stir it."


    He can cook now, following a recipe, provided every little step and detail is written down, because if you miss something, no matter how obvious it may seem, he won't do it. With a very well written recipe (some of them include diagrams of how big to chop the various vegetables) he makes some nice food.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    Bless Ed's heart! We all gotta learn slow cooker recipes at some point, but he should invest in a cookbook for novices as well.


    Cooking for Dummies is a good start!



    And I'm not being an *kitten*, either. The "for Dummies" series are great.

    You missed the whole point of the great Ed, you may need to buy a Common sense for Dummies.
  • Lalasharni
    Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
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    Gods Bless Ed!
    You are one lucky lady but your post did make me laugh - generally about husbands who cook.
    My husband is an ex-chef - but he eats everything I cook and generally compliments me on what I serve up for him, bless him.
    My problem, if you can call it one is that occasionally, HE cooks.
    Now I'm a meat and potatoes girl, and my husband prepares little stacks of sauteed things with a 'jus' or heavy
    but delcious sauces containig cream, brandy, wine or occasionally all of them. All top quality food, but sometimes I wish he'd just do me a plain scrambled egg - the last scrambled egg that I asked for came with cream, slithers of smoked salmon and not toast, but thin melba toast that shattered when I bit into it - oh yes - you would have paid good money for that scrambed egg, but NOT on my MFP plan!
    I really am not complaining, its just that he makes me laugh - he cant even cook frozen peas without sauteeing in some little gem lettuce and a half pound of butter, black pepper and pea shoots. PEAS!! I wanted just PEAS!!!!
    Oh - send ED over to me in England - I'd eat his nightmare soup - at least it sounds fine (except for the basil) and the ham hock would have been fine with peas - JUST PEAS .I think Ed and my man should get together. Just think what they might create together.
    However, they could eat it. I wouldnt!!!!
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 780 Member
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    I Want a Bowl of Ed's Soup!!
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    It doesn't sound all that bad. I don't put oil in the pot when I make soup either. I never follow the recipe on the back of those bags. And cooking the split peas before hand isn't really necessary. It just means the entire soup will have to cook that much longer till the split peas are soft. Basil in soup isn't all that bad either. Not using bay leaves wouldn't have made me say no to that soup either. I"m sure it was very tasty. Congrats to Ed for trying. I could never get my husband to cook. Not for everyone else anyway. He'll make himself something like a bowl of cereal or oatmeal but thats about it.
  • mrs_schultz2012
    mrs_schultz2012 Posts: 395 Member
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    this brought a smile to my face and just made my day :smile: thank you for sharing!
  • Hanfordrose
    Hanfordrose Posts: 688 Member
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    How lovely that Ed cooks for you.

    Let me clarify this situation. Ed is cooking for HIMSELF. He knows that Mama (his loving name for me...his wife not mother) is watching her calories. I just wanted to know, if his 'soup' could fit into my food plan. :noway: No...for a multitude of health reason. :wink:
    I think that creativity is the same thing that doesn't allow men to ask for directions. Why use a cookbook? How hard can it be?

    Yep. That's my Ed. I don't need a map. I don't need to ask for directions or help. He learns by TRIAL AND ERROR. To eat his cooking is a case of his ERROR leading to a TRIAL for anyone who tastes his food.
    Perhaps as a gift he might enjoy a cooking class. It's all in how you spin it - "Ed, sweetie, I love the way you cook for me, I thought you might enjoy learning to cook Thai!"

    When pigs fly! Ed wouldn't last 5 minutes in a cooking class. He recently got thrown out of computer class, because he just kept making smart alec remarks to the teacher. Ed comes up with some pretty outrageous ideas and comments sometimes. Serious instructor find him to be a real challenge.
    ps I have a friend married to an Ed. One of his more notable improvisations was the addition of cointreau to a crunchily undercooked pea soup.

    Uncooked pea soup and more is what I believe is brewing in our kitchen right now.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
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    That was adorable! He sounds like my daughter when she was 12. She would make substitutions for things she couldn't find, like regular sugar instead of confectioners in her icing (always early in the morning when I was still asleep). She baked a chocolate cake once. I couldn't put my finger on the taste until I realized the Bisquick was sitting on the counter. She thought it was flour. Myself, I baked a chocolate cake for my mom when I was younger. The recipe only said "oil", so I used what I could find. Sesame. Make sure he knows if a recipe calls for unspecified oil, unless he's cooking Asian, it's probably not sesame!

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