Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

jsd43953

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

crobl

Personal opinion - I'm not a size 2, so why should I expect a guy to be skinny as hell either?

But in all seriousness - there's a difference between a bigger guy that's active and a bigger guy that sits on his *kitten* all day! You can see 2 people both weighing 300 pounds. One's lazy and the other is a NFL lineman. Big difference. I have no qualms about dating a bigger guy...but if he's lazy and can't keep up with me... well then that isn't about size, it's about the personal choices!

fightininggirl

I am actually more attracted to the heavier weight teddy bear types. they tend to be the ones I graviate towards.

I think for most ladies they seem to be more attracted to the thinner types and forget that the beauty of a person is their personality and a kind heart and that it reflects their outer beauty also.

Vain_Witch

Don't forget that you're on a website where people are actively trying to get healthier and lose weight. Maybe they want to talk to people who are going to be inspirations to them. Or maybe they want to find someone that is at the level of physical activity that they hope to get to.

Just thoughts...My boyfriend is the teddy bear type and I wouldn't have it any other way....

clydethecat

i married a teddy bear. when i was dating, i dated strictly teddy bears. i love big men. something to squeeze, makes me feel smaller.

when i was at my heaviest i dated a guy who weighed about the same. we went on a canoe trip and we balanced the canoe perfectly. it was meant to be lol.

i think the problem comes in when the teddy bear doesnt want to date the big girl. there are always girls out there wanting to date the big guys, it just depends on if the big guys want to date those types of girls.

sissiluv

Personally I like teddy bear types myself but if a person isn't attracted to said teddy bear types I don't think it should be much of a big deal. Is it frustrating and depressing to get shot down? Yeah. But more often than not, having or not having sexual attraction to a person isn't exactly something we can help.

The one heavier fellow who I remember hitting on me was doing it when we were both on the clock (I worked at a shipping company, he was shipping something for his business). I don't consider trying to pick people up to be professional behaviour so I didn't reciprocate and I turned him down when he invited me out to a movie...in a town that was an hour away. (Red flag much?)

Also, ew. We're bringing up the 'friend zone' concept? Is that a fedora I'm smelling?

Edit: Also, gotta say, some of the absolute sweetest guys I've ever known were chiseled musclemen.

Maylene1217

In my personal opinion the more chiseled the guy I dated the bigger jerk he turned out to be. My ideal weighted man seems to be at exactly 220 lol. And if he wasn't when I met him he got that way unfortunately with my cooking, lol.

oregonzoo

I hate this generalization. I'm very fit and small, dating a teddy bear type. Love him.

This makes me wonder, what if a heavier woman approached you? I hope you also look without prejudice as you expect others to.

Tw1zzler

I've dated all shapes and sizes... love them all.

juliecat1

I was trying to find a nice way to address the generalization issue too. People aren't *kitten* just because they're fit. Not are all teddy bears great guys.
Different strokes for different folks. If she's not into you...next. It IS important what your eyes see. You'll be seeing it a lot.

I like bigger guys too BUT theyd have to be active, healthy and CONFIDENT. < perhaps that's a factor?

leanmeanrunningmachine

I've never understood the big guys not giving the big girls the time of day either.

PapaverSomniferum

actually

I'm a woman, a size 2, and a shameless chubby chaser that ONLY DATES teddy-bear types.

I can't even look at abs without gagging a little. Gross. I do not want to have sex with something that looks like a lumpy bag of squashed sausages and feels like over-inflated rubber tires under over-stretched skin. Give me warm, snuggly love-handles any day!

I like my men chubby, shy, and preferably bearded. I know I'm not the only one, too, because no guy I've ever gone after has been some lonely virgin that never had a girlfriend. They're usually rolling in the ladies.

My beautiful better 2/3rds is a teddy bear type and I generally have to beat other women off of him on a daily basis.

pastryari

I don't date anyone I don't find attractive. What I find attractive is not something I can control. It's not a cop out, it's a fact.

pastryari

actually


I can't even look at abs without gagging a little. Gross. I do not want to have sex with something that looks like a lumpy bag of squashed sausages and feels like over-inflated rubber tires under over-stretched skin.

That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.

Timshel_

Anyone can pique my interest. That said, I am fairly active and competitive so I always wanted someone along those lines.

Terasome

I was actually having this conversation last night with a very close Teddy Bear friend of mine.

For me its not about the size of the person its about their personality, their convictions and the way they treat a person.
Ive dated buff looking guys and guys who are big teddy bears. I dont mind a guy who looks after himself but I also dont mind a guy who is a bit bigger either. You dont actually choose who you find attractive, it just happens.



I could sit here and say I find Diodelcibo attractive, yes he is hot and buff but on the other hand I could also say that I find Tynger attractive too. They both have the same effect on my thought processes. Two totally different guys and body composition.

Honey if they can give me what I want, then I'm happy.

PapaverSomniferum

That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.

butthurt alert.

thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.

pastryari

That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.

butthurt alert.

thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.

Yes, butthurt. Sure. Whatever. Body shaming is a serious issue. If you want to try to make light of it, well that just reflects on you.

There is a difference between stating your preference and going into full length description of why a particular body type is so disgusting.

jamk1446

That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.

butthurt alert.

thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.

Wow.

Of course you are entitled to your preference in what you consider physically attractive or not. That doesn't make it okay to call someone gross.

OP- I like teddy bear types and am married to one.

stepherzzzzz

I don't think I've ever met a guy I'd consider a "teddy bear type". Most of the bigger guys I know are *kitten*.

one15ts

i haven't even been hit on by a teddy bear type to know, if i would have given them a chance or not. O_o