Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

jsd43953
jsd43953 Posts: 43 Member
in Chit-Chat
So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

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Replies

  • crobl
    crobl Posts: 380
    Personal opinion - I'm not a size 2, so why should I expect a guy to be skinny as hell either?

    But in all seriousness - there's a difference between a bigger guy that's active and a bigger guy that sits on his *kitten* all day! You can see 2 people both weighing 300 pounds. One's lazy and the other is a NFL lineman. Big difference. I have no qualms about dating a bigger guy...but if he's lazy and can't keep up with me... well then that isn't about size, it's about the personal choices!
  • fightininggirl
    fightininggirl Posts: 792 Member
    I am actually more attracted to the heavier weight teddy bear types. they tend to be the ones I graviate towards.

    I think for most ladies they seem to be more attracted to the thinner types and forget that the beauty of a person is their personality and a kind heart and that it reflects their outer beauty also.
  • Vain_Witch
    Vain_Witch Posts: 476 Member
    Don't forget that you're on a website where people are actively trying to get healthier and lose weight. Maybe they want to talk to people who are going to be inspirations to them. Or maybe they want to find someone that is at the level of physical activity that they hope to get to.

    Just thoughts...My boyfriend is the teddy bear type and I wouldn't have it any other way....
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    i married a teddy bear. when i was dating, i dated strictly teddy bears. i love big men. something to squeeze, makes me feel smaller.

    when i was at my heaviest i dated a guy who weighed about the same. we went on a canoe trip and we balanced the canoe perfectly. it was meant to be lol.

    i think the problem comes in when the teddy bear doesnt want to date the big girl. there are always girls out there wanting to date the big guys, it just depends on if the big guys want to date those types of girls.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Personally I like teddy bear types myself but if a person isn't attracted to said teddy bear types I don't think it should be much of a big deal. Is it frustrating and depressing to get shot down? Yeah. But more often than not, having or not having sexual attraction to a person isn't exactly something we can help.

    The one heavier fellow who I remember hitting on me was doing it when we were both on the clock (I worked at a shipping company, he was shipping something for his business). I don't consider trying to pick people up to be professional behaviour so I didn't reciprocate and I turned him down when he invited me out to a movie...in a town that was an hour away. (Red flag much?)

    Also, ew. We're bringing up the 'friend zone' concept? Is that a fedora I'm smelling?

    Edit: Also, gotta say, some of the absolute sweetest guys I've ever known were chiseled musclemen.
  • Maylene1217
    Maylene1217 Posts: 35 Member
    In my personal opinion the more chiseled the guy I dated the bigger jerk he turned out to be. My ideal weighted man seems to be at exactly 220 lol. And if he wasn't when I met him he got that way unfortunately with my cooking, lol.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    I hate this generalization. I'm very fit and small, dating a teddy bear type. Love him.

    This makes me wonder, what if a heavier woman approached you? I hope you also look without prejudice as you expect others to.
  • Tw1zzler
    Tw1zzler Posts: 583
    I've dated all shapes and sizes... love them all.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    I was trying to find a nice way to address the generalization issue too. People aren't *kitten* just because they're fit. Not are all teddy bears great guys.
    Different strokes for different folks. If she's not into you...next. It IS important what your eyes see. You'll be seeing it a lot.

    I like bigger guys too BUT theyd have to be active, healthy and CONFIDENT. < perhaps that's a factor?
  • leanmeanrunningmachine
    leanmeanrunningmachine Posts: 56
    I've never understood the big guys not giving the big girls the time of day either.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    actually

    I'm a woman, a size 2, and a shameless chubby chaser that ONLY DATES teddy-bear types.

    I can't even look at abs without gagging a little. Gross. I do not want to have sex with something that looks like a lumpy bag of squashed sausages and feels like over-inflated rubber tires under over-stretched skin. Give me warm, snuggly love-handles any day!

    I like my men chubby, shy, and preferably bearded. I know I'm not the only one, too, because no guy I've ever gone after has been some lonely virgin that never had a girlfriend. They're usually rolling in the ladies.

    My beautiful better 2/3rds is a teddy bear type and I generally have to beat other women off of him on a daily basis.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I don't date anyone I don't find attractive. What I find attractive is not something I can control. It's not a cop out, it's a fact.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    actually


    I can't even look at abs without gagging a little. Gross. I do not want to have sex with something that looks like a lumpy bag of squashed sausages and feels like over-inflated rubber tires under over-stretched skin.

    That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

    Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Anyone can pique my interest. That said, I am fairly active and competitive so I always wanted someone along those lines.
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
    I was actually having this conversation last night with a very close Teddy Bear friend of mine.

    For me its not about the size of the person its about their personality, their convictions and the way they treat a person.
    Ive dated buff looking guys and guys who are big teddy bears. I dont mind a guy who looks after himself but I also dont mind a guy who is a bit bigger either. You dont actually choose who you find attractive, it just happens.



    I could sit here and say I find Diodelcibo attractive, yes he is hot and buff but on the other hand I could also say that I find Tynger attractive too. They both have the same effect on my thought processes. Two totally different guys and body composition.

    Honey if they can give me what I want, then I'm happy.
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member

    That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

    Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.
    butthurt alert.

    thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member

    That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

    Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.
    butthurt alert.

    thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.

    Yes, butthurt. Sure. Whatever. Body shaming is a serious issue. If you want to try to make light of it, well that just reflects on you.

    There is a difference between stating your preference and going into full length description of why a particular body type is so disgusting.
  • jamk1446
    jamk1446 Posts: 5,577 Member

    That is beyond rude. But since it's NOT about "fat" people it's perfectly acceptable to say. :noway:

    Edit to add: Body shaming is NEVER okay regardless if it is being directed to fat or skinny people. It's NEVER okay.
    butthurt alert.

    thank you so much for your comment. I have now completely changed my sexual orientation to enjoy skinny people because of your feelings. thank you so much for turning my life around.

    Wow.

    Of course you are entitled to your preference in what you consider physically attractive or not. That doesn't make it okay to call someone gross.

    OP- I like teddy bear types and am married to one.
  • stepherzzzzz
    stepherzzzzz Posts: 469 Member
    I don't think I've ever met a guy I'd consider a "teddy bear type". Most of the bigger guys I know are *kitten*.
  • one15ts
    one15ts Posts: 91
    i haven't even been hit on by a teddy bear type to know, if i would have given them a chance or not. O_o
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    You can't make a woman pick a profile on a computer screen, so appealing to them isn't really going to get you the answers you're looking for.

    I'm short. I'm fat. I wouldn't call myself attractive. I think I have a good heart and a good sense of humor, and that's how I ended up with someone out of my league (so to speak). My wife never really dated short guys until me. I went against what she would consider her "type" physically. But I think she finds me very attractive. Because, honestly, being funny, caring, and kind hearted make you more attractive as a whole person and might, as in my case, make up for physical deficiencies.

    So, don't worry about all those who aren't giving you a chance. Make the moss of the ones that are, because it only takes one.
  • tynger112
    tynger112 Posts: 351
    In my personal opinion the more chiseled the guy I dated the bigger jerk he turned out to be. My ideal weighted man seems to be at exactly 220 lol. And if he wasn't when I met him he got that way unfortunately with my cooking, lol.

    Hmm, I weigh 220,...j/k...I think its all about presentation. As a big guy, there are always going to be the "shallow" people in the world, but if you carry yourself with confidence, drive and energy, without looking like a slob....bigger guys never fair too bad. But I think the question should be posed the other way to the fellas who refuse to dat a bigger girl. She could be everthing you want, but some cant get passed the package....just a thought....But every woman is beautiful, big small tall short. best girl i know is a little on the heavy side and if she wasnt married I'd easily snatch her up.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    Teddy Bear types don't ask me, so I couldn't say. No one asks me. Perhaps these Teddy Bear types don't want Teddy Bear women...seems kind of unfair.


    Hmm.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    I prefer bigger guys, always have, even when I was hot and thin. I like tall, big guys. Just my type. My husband is 300 lbs and 6'1. I've never dated a guy under 6 ft tall before. They're better cuddlers IMO.

    Oh and I have to add, I love me some moobies.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    I dont discriminate.
    I love teddy bears.
    Thick peeps need love too. =)
  • adoreabella
    adoreabella Posts: 87
    Teddy bear types are the best! I love guys who aren't stick thin. Then again, I am not stick thin either so maybe that's why? haha. Seriously, its not about the weight. All my boyfriends have been on the bigger side. What turns me off is someone who thinks they know everything and try to control/manipulate. It's all about personality, not your weight =)
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
    Never been in that situation with the dating and stuff (been in a relationship for 7 years) but I wouldn't turn someone down just because they're larger.

    Generally I'm more attracted to guys who are larger than me, either with muscle (preferably still some softness) or a little overweight. They seem very huggable while still being healthy. I'm not talking about 300lbs or grossly overweight - I can't help but not be attracted to that, it's not a choice I make, I'm sure they're a great person, but you can't get by on personality alone!
  • one15ts
    one15ts Posts: 91
    Teddy Bear types don't ask me, so I couldn't say. No one asks me. Perhaps these Teddy Bear types don't want Teddy Bear women...seems kind of unfair.


    Hmm.

    so much this. :drinker:
  • crazytreelady
    crazytreelady Posts: 752 Member
    I like men that are thinner (not built either, just thin) than me... Don't know why. I tried dating a couple bigger guys, but I just didn't like it.
  • appelsiinipuu
    appelsiinipuu Posts: 97 Member
    My husband is good looking and really fit. He has always loved working out. I, on the other hand, have always been obese and well, still am, morbidly so. He fell in love with my personality and to tell you the truth, he has never once said anything bad about the way I look. In fact he is the opposite, always telling me how gorgeous I am.
    So, yes, I think it is all about the personalities matching. :)

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