Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

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  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
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    The inscription on my husband's ring reads 'to my TeddyBear", so clearly I have no problem with the Teddy Bear type and as far as I can recall there was only once in my life that I chose to date a man purely because of his looks. He, bless his soul, had absolutely no clue that he was as gorgeous as he was.

    Anyway, I dated men on personality and sex appeal and both those things come in a wide variety of packages.
  • IslandDreamer64
    IslandDreamer64 Posts: 258 Member
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    Wow. Shallow?

    I have been over 250 pounds all of my adult life and have never had a problem finding men who aren't so shallow that they can't look beyond my weight. I met my DH at my highest weight, it was never an issue. People need to grow the hell up and stop being so shallow about looks. Also, not on purpose on my part, but all of the men I have been with have been within a normal weight range, or at the most 20-30 pounds overweight. What does it matter?
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    That's right! You tell those awful mean skinny people who's boss! You put them in their place! They're just so...skinny!!!
  • 294Rich
    294Rich Posts: 171 Member
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    The things is that on a Dating Website, the personality doesn't always come over very well, so people go on first impressions. It's perfectly natural and normal in my opinion, to go on first impressions. It is a "screening" process, a bit like looking at people's CVs for a role.

    You can't always tell if someone is nice, funny, intelligent, controlling, aggresive, violent etc from a CV. So you have to just go on what you see. And that might mean bigger guys perceive themselves as not "doing as well as they could", when dating online.
    But who knows?! It could equally be their attitude to the process, and the fact that they go moaning about it online doesn't bode well ;)
  • kyunda
    kyunda Posts: 340 Member
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    Personal opinion - I'm not a size 2, so why should I expect a guy to be skinny as hell either?

    But in all seriousness - there's a difference between a bigger guy that's active and a bigger guy that sits on his *kitten* all day! You can see 2 people both weighing 300 pounds. One's lazy and the other is a NFL lineman. Big difference. I have no qualms about dating a bigger guy...but if he's lazy and can't keep up with me... well then that isn't about size, it's about the personal choices!

    Yea what she said! If i am working on being a healthier person so should you! I'm not a fan of bumping bellies in the bed room! My tummy is enough and if i'm trying to get rid of it and you arent.....Not good.

    I like thick built men not fat sloppy men.
  • piggydog
    piggydog Posts: 322
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    I'm just not sexually attracked to larger men.... Alittle belly is no big deal but when you get to the point of being over weight there is nothing sexy bout that....
    If you can't take care of your body, how are you going to take care of me?

    That sounds rude and stuck up, I agree....but I am seriously old school about men and women's roles... The man is the bread winner and the woman should be bare foot in the kitchen...
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

    So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

    I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

    DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

    It's not prejudice to not be attracted to overweight people, it's preference, no one can help with what they find attractive or what turns them on, it's a natural thing you can't program it.

    You seem to have divided slim people and overweight people, which is ridiculous, people personalites are what they are, your not one way or another according to your size!!

    So, NO I don't see what you're getting at at all.

    My fit guy is still with me 15 years on.
  • mcshoelovin22
    mcshoelovin22 Posts: 263 Member
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    I actually like teddy bears. NOT FAT but just a little cushion on the belly is ok. Big strong arms are a plus!
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
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    lol @ "teddy bear type"
  • Maribel_1986
    Maribel_1986 Posts: 457 Member
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    Most of the guys I dated in high school and in college were big guys... They were teddy bears but definitely not fat. I dated them because they were awesome to hang out with and carry a smart conversation with... For me its more about personality but like someone said earlier, there is a difference between being a big guy who is active and being a big guy who doesn't want to go to the gym or get off the couch (not attractive)... Hope this helps :)
  • Brianna716
    Brianna716 Posts: 303 Member
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    I've dated teddy bear types and guys that can't put a pound on their stick thin bodies to save their life, and all shapes in between.

    Their body type had nothing to do with why I was dating them... That being said- I would not date a man who was overweight because he chooses to be unhealthy- sitting on the couch all day eating junk food. That's not the kind of partner I'm interested in. There's a difference between lazy and big but active.
  • 294Rich
    294Rich Posts: 171 Member
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    Is it an American phrase? I understand what it means, but we don't really use that phrase in the UK. We would just say "overweight."
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
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    So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

    So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chisled athletic guys would get from you?

    I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

    DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

    Weight and looks didn't matter to me when I was dating. What mattered were the other things I was looking for -- high intelligence, self-sufficiency, sense of fun, sense of adventure -- you get the picture. I also don't watch sports, so anyone whose noted that as their sole hobby was not someone I chose to date.

    In the beginning, I messaged everyone back who messaged me. However, the guys I said "no" to often then badgered me, trying to talk me into something I wasn't interested in. They often thought it was about their appearance (but that was not ever the case because if I like you, you will look good; it's the way my mind works). So...after the first month of trying online dating, if I wasn't interested, I didn't message back.

    And I was older, overweight, somewhat self-assertive and middlingly attractive...the young ones have to deal with way more of this stuff.

    As it is, if you are heavier, even if you meet other criteria, active people are afraid you won't be able to keep up.

    Do you message the "teddy bear" type women (ie., are you guilty of the same thing you're worried about women assuming about you)?

    There are also plenty of athletic guys who are adorably nice, so don't assume that a woman who dates someone like that is going to dumped because he looks good. The cheaters come from all ranks of men, not just the good-looking ones.

    PS My preferred type is tall, blonde, Nordic, and muscled (did date a few men who looked that that, too). So of course the man I married is short, dark, Greek, and overweight...and I love the way he looks.
  • Chief_Rocka
    Chief_Rocka Posts: 4,710 Member
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    Is it an American phrase? I understand what it means, but we don't really use that phrase in the UK. We would just say "overweight."

    We like to BS ourselves over here across the pond.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    as far as I'm concerned it is far more about personality than looks for me. The guy I'm dating now is a heavier guy (photo in my album), but to me, he is great looking, because he's the whole package as far as being a gentleman, respectful, protective, sweet, loyal, caring, honest, sincere, genuine, etc. I'm a size 2 aspiring fitness model and he's my one-of-a-kind Cowboy.
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I've dated "teddy bear types" and gone on many dates with them... my current bf isn't big nor is he small, he's, well, perfect :) haha...

    I am personally more attracted to men that don't have a 'belly' per say. They don't need to be ripped, but being active is an absolute necessity to me! My man plays footie 3-5 days a week and goes to the gym with me on weekends. The guys that get the gym membership and say "Oh, I have to start working out, summer is only 4 months away" bug me! It's a lifestyle, and that lifestyle is important to me and should be to my significant other.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm in love with my man, however, I have a friend that is so good looking and so sweet, he's a teddy bear with an active lifestyle (goes the gym and plays hockey 3-4 days a week), and I have a small little crush on him because he's so good looking and his personality is amazing!

    So, to each their own!
  • breeshabebe
    breeshabebe Posts: 580
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    I like a guy thats either bigger than me or the same size as me. I don't wanna feel more "manly" than him. That being said... I only like the dark haired, dark eyed teddy bears. Blonde hair, blue eyes has never been my thing.
  • Queenb1212
    Queenb1212 Posts: 108 Member
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    I've always loved the big teddy bear "Gerald Levert" looking men. Whewww and if you can sing that just takes it for me.
  • 294Rich
    294Rich Posts: 171 Member
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    Is it an American phrase? I understand what it means, but we don't really use that phrase in the UK. We would just say "overweight."

    We like to BS ourselves over here across the pond.

    :)
  • gillybeanz74
    gillybeanz74 Posts: 34 Member
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    Heck no one ever msg me on a dating site because I am not perfect size!! And if a guy does msg me they are only looking for a hook up. FYI To old for that silly stuff!! I am tired of being judged because I have some "curves" I once out on my profile that I was "Athletic" and some rude SOB told me I should change that because I was "FAT" OK plz tell me if I was not athletic could I run/ walk 13.1 miles/21.1K and do the running that I have so much fallen in love with over the last 4 years!! I DON'T THINK SO!!

    So after my big huge ramble on. I date whatever type. But I do like a guy that I can snuggle up to and has a some "meaty" body type

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