Teddy Bear Types, Ladies and Dating?

jenj1313

I like guys who are bigger than me... taller, heavier, bigger. I'm not tiny and I don't like to weigh more than my guy. I think I read a blurb in a magazine once about a study that found that actual weight doesn't matter, but most couples are more satisfied when the guy is bigger than the girl. Now, I don't like heavy guys that aren't active, but as long as they can keep up with me (or try), I find most of them attractive! I guess I scale it to what I think I'd look like as a guy (6 inches taller, 60 lbs heavier) and I'm comfortable with that, but too heavy and it's just not attractive to me. Neither is too skinny, btw.

shella_bella

I really don't think size has anything to do with anything.

You're either attracted to someone or you're not. Many factor's come into play. Their personality, goals, how they treat you/others, and if you are just generally sexually attracted to them. No body can help who they like.

djeffreys10

I am attracted to smaller, more fit women. Sue me. I'm not going to apologize for it. At the same time, I'm not going to be ticked if someone isn't attracted to me, for whatever reason. Be it they think I am too fat at 17-18% body fat, they don't want to date a single dad raising kids, they just think I am unattractive, or whatever other of the many reasons I am sure exist. They are allowed to be attracted to me or not for any reason that matters to them, the same as I am.

And I also heard one woman (being brutally honest) say to another woman one time, "If you want the sexy, fit man...maybe you should look in the mirror and ask yourself why the sexy fit man would want you. And if you don't have an answer, change what you see in the mirror." Same goes for guys.

And yes, there is more to a person than the way they look. But expecting someone to just completely discount physical appearance is unrealistic.

jackiecamarena

I do believe some people just have different tastes. I, myself am not fond of the ripped body. I like my men tall and lanky.

angelams1019

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

lol I think your post probably didn't come across as well as you hoped because you put your emotions in it.

1. You can't just assume that all fit people are *kitten* and all bigger guys are the nicest guys ever. Just because that may be true for YOU doesn't mean its true for all.
2. I think your insecurities are showing a bit. You're assuming that all rejections you've gotten have been due to your size. Maybe your profile description has something in it that isn't resonating with these women. Maybe your initial contact message did nothing for them, leaving them uninterested. The point is, unless they've ALL come out and said you're too big for them, you can't assume thats the case.
3. I'm pretty sure its probably a KNOWN FACT that women are more accepting to different body types than men are....But thats just my opinion. Us bigger girls get hated on way more than you teddy bears do!
4. I'm CLEARLY overweight, and I'm attracted to really big, TALL(at least 6'1") football player types. Not into huge muscles at all...It's just never been my thing. But he needs to have a substantial amount of meat on his bones- I'm not tryin' to break anyone in half! lol That being said, I'm trying to get myself right so I'm not trying to put someone in my life that is extremely overweight and out of shape and not doing anything about it. If I met a guy that was overweight and had the same goals I do and was SERIOUS about them, that would probably be a different story. But I can tell you he's going to have to work harder for me to give him that chance....JUST like I have to work harder for guys to give me a chance. Which leads me into my final point...
5. Attraction is attraction. If I meet at a guy and feel ZERO physical attraction to him, there's really nothing I can do about that. There has to be SOMETHING there initially. You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals and these attractions are eventually going to lead to one of our most PRIMAL NEEDS: Sex. If there is no attraction there, I think it'll probably be pretty difficult to advance the relationship into anything more. That being said, don't be so scared of the friend zone. Relationships blossom from the friend zone all the time. Attraction CAN increase overtime once you get to know someone. The problem is you guys are so impatient for that whole SEX part of things, you don't want to be anywhere near the friend zone!

ladyrider55

My personal preference is the larger/teddy bear type of guy. But here in my neck of the woods those kind of guys are looking/seeking the small petite women :grumble: :grumble: A few years back a nice teddy bear type of guy moved in my neighborhood & he was so friendly we chatted whenever we saw each other, then he lost a bunch of weight & now he's so stuck up he can't even say "hi" to me :sad:

I'd just like to meet a guy who accepts me for who I am & I in turn will accept him. My thoughts are when you meet the right person it doesn't matter what your body type is because you'll both get active doing things everything will be just fine

triciab79

I have to say the "physical attraction" thing is far over rated. None of us will be sexy in few decades. The most beautiful person will become ugly to you if the inside doesn't match the outside. If you get to know some of the people you don't think you are physically attracted to you might find they are more beautiful than the shell they live in. We are all a big ball of plus and minus. Sure physical beauty can be a plus but to look for that plus first is really hurting your chances of finding the more important qualities. I'm prettier physically now than I was a year ago but I am the same girl. I still love my babies, I still love to cook, I still love scifi, I'm still funny, I'm still full of life and sunshine, I'm still super affectionate, I'm still a geek, I'm still me and all of those positive things should be enough with or without the new body. Sadly many guys would have passed over the old me and routinely do pass over girls like me in favor of these girls who have the look but not the rest of the package. If you are really looking for love then appearance should be down at the bottom of the list.

No_Finish_Line

I really don't think size has anything to do with anything.

You're either attracted to someone or you're not. Many factor's come into play. Their personality, goals, how they treat you/others, and if you are just generally sexually attracted to them. No body can help who they like.

i'm with you on that, but i don't really see how anything other then looks really comes through on a dating site.

Myndi73

I prefer bigger guys. I could never date anyone that has smaller hips then me.

melduf

I' happily married to a teddy bear king of guy. It's way more comfy for cuddling

mnwalkingqueen

I agree with the several other posts on generalization, bigger men not givinng bigger women the time of day, and there is a different from someone trying to be fit vs sitting on their *kitten* all day.
I like bigger men and always have but I want him to not be lazy and at the very least go for a walk around the lake with me.

lorib75

So here is a question for everyone (more specifically woman), but I definitely want my "heavier men" to chime in as I feel this could get interesting.

So ladies, how many times have you found yourself out or on dating sites and you seem to only get "hit-on" by the guy, who has a great smile, dressed nice, polite..but oohhh no he is just a little over-weight or a teddy bear type? What thoughts go through your head as he begins in conversation? Why don't you give him the chance , that the more chissled athletic guys would get from you?

I am curious to know what stops a person from giving a heavier person the time of day. Is this come type of "inner prejudice" that the heavier members of society are faced with? Now I know some of you would say personal preference but I believe that is a cop out. Why? Well how many fit, athletic guys/girls have you dated and where are they now? (*kitten*, stuck on themselves,etc I am sure). What about that chubby guy/girl that was perfect (attentive, compassionate,etc) but you put them in the "friend zone". Where is he/she at now? Do you see what I am getting at? Often times the best thing for you isnt necessarily what your eyes and mind find to be appealing.

DONT LET THE THREAD SIT, BE A VOICE BE ACTIVE, SHARE!!!!

lol I think your post probably didn't come across as well as you hoped because you put your emotions in it.

1. You can't just assume that all fit people are *kitten* and all bigger guys are the nicest guys ever. Just because that may be true for YOU doesn't mean its true for all.
2. I think your insecurities are showing a bit. You're assuming that all rejections you've gotten have been due to your size. Maybe your profile description has something in it that isn't resonating with these women. Maybe your initial contact message did nothing for them, leaving them uninterested. The point is, unless they've ALL come out and said you're too big for them, you can't assume thats the case.
3. I'm pretty sure its probably a KNOWN FACT that women are more accepting to different body types than men are....But thats just my opinion. Us bigger girls get hated on way more than you teddy bears do!
4. I'm CLEARLY overweight, and I'm attracted to really big, TALL(at least 6'1") football player types. Not into huge muscles at all...It's just never been my thing. But he needs to have a substantial amount of meat on his bones- I'm not tryin' to break anyone in half! lol That being said, I'm trying to get myself right so I'm not trying to put someone in my life that is extremely overweight and out of shape and not doing anything about it. If I met a guy that was overweight and had the same goals I do and was SERIOUS about them, that would probably be a different story. But I can tell you he's going to have to work harder for me to give him that chance....JUST like I have to work harder for guys to give me a chance. Which leads me into my final point...
5. Attraction is attraction. If I meet at a guy and feel ZERO physical attraction to him, there's really nothing I can do about that. There has to be SOMETHING there initially. You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals and these attractions are eventually going to lead to one of our most PRIMAL NEEDS: Sex. If there is no attraction there, I think it'll probably be pretty difficult to advance the relationship into anything more. That being said, don't be so scared of the friend zone. Relationships blossom from the friend zone all the time. Attraction CAN increase overtime once you get to know someone. The problem is you guys are so impatient for that whole SEX part of things, you don't want to be anywhere near the friend zone!

She nailed it on the head! I love my teddy bear hubby! I have dated thin athletic men, and yes, you are correct, the ones I dated were only about themselves...but that doesn't mean they all are! I think there have been plenty of hook ups on MFP so why choose a dating site when you can just meet someone here? Good luck!