Husband unhappy with my weight :(

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  • michellebergamo
    michellebergamo Posts: 4
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    It's really hard, but I've learned to not base your goal completely on a number. At my very fittest, in a size 6 or so, I weighed about 140. And I'm short, 5'5" - I felt GREAT. I've always been heavy on the scale. I DO need to drop about 20-30 pounds at the moment, but I'll never be 115. I'm lucky that my husband sometimes doesn't even believe I weigh as much as I do. Sometimes the number just isn't the best representation. I'd see how it goes! Good luck to all.
  • spade117
    spade117 Posts: 2,466 Member
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    Sigh...I'm sorry Angie...men suck. They're either sabotaging our efforts to be healthy out of insecurity we will leave, or they aren't happy unless we are the size of a supermodel.

    Wow. I did not know that.



    Oh yeah, almost forgot....

    Divorce.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    h9bt.gif
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    h9bt.gif


    kdVhE.gif
  • emsherman
    emsherman Posts: 2
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    The only goal you should have is to make yourself happy and healthy... He will fall in line eventually :) good luck!
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    You need to be comfortable in your own skin and if you think you'll feel best being in the 160's then that's what your goal should be. At the end of the day you have to be happy and it sounds like in order to make your husband happy would cause you to be unhappy and that's not fair to you! I'm sure he will come around once he see how healthy 160 looks on you! Just focus on your goals and everything else will fall into place!

    Very well put!

    Yes, do this for YOU and no one else. Good luck to you!
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
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    Sigh...I'm sorry Angie...men suck. They're either sabotaging our efforts to be healthy out of insecurity we will leave, or they aren't happy unless we are the size of a supermodel. You can only worry about you. Do what makes you feel good. He'll either hop on the train, or he won't, but you will have the self-confidence of knowing you are doing what is best for you.

    I know you are amazing because I talk to you every single day! So just be you - don't change for anyone - and go for the goals that make you happy!!!!

    No

    Men are wonderful.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Sigh...I'm sorry Angie...men suck. They're either sabotaging our efforts to be healthy out of insecurity we will leave, or they aren't happy unless we are the size of a supermodel.

    Wtf. :noway:
    NO. NO. NO.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I don't know if you have been, but the first thing I would do is stop talking about my weight goals with my husband. In fact, I don't. I never say a word about dieting, what I weigh now, what I should weigh, etc, etc., except that if he offers me something, I might say I don't have enough calories in my budget for it. This is my body. What I do or don't do with it is my responsibility.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Sigh...I'm sorry Angie...men suck. They're either sabotaging our efforts to be healthy out of insecurity we will leave, or they aren't happy unless we are the size of a supermodel.

    That's a pretty broad brush you're using..
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Sigh...I'm sorry Angie...men suck. They're either sabotaging our efforts to be healthy out of insecurity we will leave, or they aren't happy unless we are the size of a supermodel.

    I love men. Does your husband suck? Maybe. But that doesn't mean men suck.

    To the OP: Why are you arguing about this? I truly don't mean this harshly, but you're at least 50 lbs from any of these goals. Maybe you should table the discussion until it's more relevant.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    h9bt.gif

    hahah it took me 2 minutes to figure out what you were saying and then I looked at who posted it.
  • ecmorales
    ecmorales Posts: 33 Member
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    Hi Angie, stayed focused on your own goal and take it one step at a time. My situation is very different in that in 25 years of marriage my husband never said one negative word, gave one judgemental look, or anything like that -- that all sounds great, but now I understand that my husband was an accomplice to a 150 lb WEIGHT GAIN. No one but the two of you can understand your husbands intentions, but try to not get stressed about that and keep it separate from your weight loss goal. A day to day commitment to getting fit and losing weight will have its own result -- it's a wonderful goal to plan for 160 now, when you reach that goal you can decide if you want to maintain that or set a new goal. Perhaps your husband can support you in the day to day commitment. And do find a way to help him understand that stressing a person out is not helpful in a weight loss effort. Maintaining a marriage can be hard work [like many things in life, things worth having don't usually come easy]. Kudos to making this post, I hope everyone's support is helpful to you. Best of luck!
  • misspastry
    misspastry Posts: 109 Member
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    He seems like a jerk. But at 5'2" you're weight should be 130. I'm about 5'3" and should be 140. I know it's hard but do it for you and no one else.
  • aynhagenbarth
    aynhagenbarth Posts: 75 Member
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    I completely know what you mean! I am 5'3" and I remember the first time in my life I went down to 140 I was a size 4 and I had no clue who the person in the mirror was. I myself am comfortable at 150, but we all have our own ideal weight. I don't feel awful at 160, and I think that is why I have had a hard time getting past it. Everyone's bodies are so different! I think that if you find the weight you feel comfortable at your focus should be maintaining that!
  • jdavis36
    jdavis36 Posts: 25 Member
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    Go for good health. You seem to be happy as is...so just healthy it up. Eating right, exercising, make sure your vitals are good: BP, cholesterol and let your body decide where it is healthiest. Your 160 may just be optimal. And maybe hubby has more health concerns for your overweight than appearance. He is attracted to you if he married you!!! Be healthy, stay happy. As you get older it is harder to manage all of it. If your hubby is losing any physical attraction because of your weight, then kudos to him for be honest. Most long marriages bottle it up and end up in a bad situation, either cheating or divorced - so you are lucky to have a man who loves you and can be this honest. But be honest back - and let him know if it hurt your feelings. Maybe there is a little self improvement he can make as a compromise, so you don't feel like you're giving all and he's taking/enjoying the benefits. As a positive person, make this a positive - tell your hubby he owes you a 'special favor' for every pound you lose, or has to do a certain chore....make it fun...have a blast.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    Your doctor obviously gave you a range where he believed that you would be healthy and your husband appears to be trying to compromise your goals with the doctor's advice. This is not a situation of men sucking, this is a situation of your husband caring enough about you to try to get you to a healthy weight and you not enjoying the fact that he is disagreeing with you.

    Your husband cares about you, perhaps you should try to see it from his side rather than just saying you can go find another, more compliant man.
  • misspastry
    misspastry Posts: 109 Member
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    you're rude. i mean that towards moc....
  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
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    Sorry,I'm confused.I'm not sure why you are worring about what other men think if your married.And there are waaay to many threads on here about women setting their goals by what men think of them or what they want men to think of them.I don't understand that.
  • TheUnthinkingMajority
    TheUnthinkingMajority Posts: 82 Member
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    Is your husband a prize winning athletic man? Tell him to get off his horse or get out the door.

    Unless it's his house.. Then, you know.

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