HOW is it selfish?

Options
12357

Replies

  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Options
    i never wanted kids. i told the world i was going to be barren forever, so never even ask me about it. nobody ever said anything and just assumed that i wasn't having kids. i was never called selfish by anyone. but then low and behold we had an oops. now i have 3 of the little buggers, and me and my hubs do a damn good job in caring for them and raising them to be thoughtful and caring little humans.
    on many levels it is probably more selfish to have kids than it is to not have them, especially for those people who want them for the welfare or who just weren't bright enough to not get pregnant (and can't look after themselves, let alone a dependent). but that's a political debate.
    wanting kids is like having a sweet tooth- you either want pudding or you don't. you can't be called selfish for either perspective. it just is what it is.
    tell whoever is calling you selfish to get effed- and plan your trouble free, exotic holiday to an adults only resort in front of them!
  • sixpackdream
    sixpackdream Posts: 55 Member
    Options
    With 7 billion people on a planet that would much more comfortably sustain 1 billion, we need more people who don't want children.

    It's selfish when people have children for reasons like keeping a marriage together, or so they will have someone when they get old, or so they will have someone that loves them. That's a lot to put on a child.

    I have many jealous friends because I can go and do what I want, when I want and they do call it selfish. I call it living :)

    They also ask me who is going to take care of me when I'm old. I laugh at them and say, I know your kids will love taking care of you and always be there for you ;) I will prefer to be around other 90 year olds when I'm 90, and my 90 year old friends are going to party with me like it's 1999!

    Note: I am not against other people having kids -lol.
  • mhcoss
    mhcoss Posts: 220
    Options
    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

    With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.
  • leketchup
    leketchup Posts: 27 Member
    Options
    For the time being I chose not to have any children and girlfriend, I am busy in planing career, studying and looking forward for another studies. It also the work, training, and sleep for results, sure I have time to relax but that wouldn't be enough lets say for wife and kids. It's ok girl do what you have to do, nobody has right to judge you.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    Options
    Its not. People are stupid.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    Just curious....Why do people say its selfish for someone to not want kids? I've never heard that before and don't really understand...
  • HolsDoinIt
    HolsDoinIt Posts: 327 Member
    Options
    nope..its not selfish at all..to each its own...i get called things like that all the time because i dont have children...all of my siblings do and im the oldest...but i dont care...ill do it when im ready to and right now i see their struggles...not for me at this point in my life
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

    With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.

    :laugh: Thats just silly.
  • stargazer008
    stargazer008 Posts: 531
    Options
    It ain't selfish to me.

    I dislike those people judging childless couples.
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
    Options
    Some people want kids, so they can collect welfare, and that they don't have to work. I'd say, "Get your *kitten* out there and WORK!"
  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    I know a lot of people who seem to think of their children as insurance policies i.e people who will take care of them when they're old...so maybe whoever is telling you that thinks you are selfish for putting your elderly care onto people who are not your children? I don't know what else they could possibly mean.. People can be so strange.


    I get EXACTLY what you are saying I have (almost) four boys, and have constantly heard, "Girls will leave their mother's but boys will take care of them forever and you have all boys, so you should be well taken care of"......kind of makes me feel bad for future daughter in law's if that should be the case...he has to love me, but he has to love his wife a little bit more! :)
  • clairehepple72
    clairehepple72 Posts: 20 Member
    Options
    Also, I think many women - especially who got children too early - feel like they "sacrifised" their youth/party/career years and were stuck with babies at home clinging onto them, while others were out doing whatever they wanted.

    So in their eyes because THEY made that sacrifice and you didn't: you look selfish. This is totally bad thinking but some people get some sort of pleasure out of it (like "you suck in a way too dude"). I am just sorry for people who think that way...

    I had my children early, I feel it is was the best thing I ever did, my kids are now 16 and 18 and I am 40. I chose to have children because I wanted to and they are the best thing that every happened to me, that was my choice though!!!

    Life begins at 40 so they say, well mine is, I am now going on the holidays I dreamt of and probably appreciate them more now than what I would have done 20 years ago.

    All choices in life are personal, yes they are selfish but only because you chose them to be for you!!!
  • SONIA820
    SONIA820 Posts: 208 Member
    Options
    I think what bother's me more, is not the fact that it might be seen as selfish but the fact that it stands as a reasonable topic of discussion, to me, it's none of my business, unless someone brings it up on their own.

    I don't know, I think in this awesome world we live in, there should just be a list of questions you just don't ask people.
  • kaytiecakes
    kaytiecakes Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    If it makes me selfish for not having kids because I don't like kids, then hell yeah, I'm selfish and I love it!

    Also, lulz to the people who have kids commenting on this thread like "it's not selfish but while i'm here, let me tell you all about my kids because i have kids, have i mentioned that i have kids?!"
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    Are you familiar with the "child free by choice" group?

    Yea. im part of it...thanks God. lol
  • dirtnap63
    dirtnap63 Posts: 1,387 Member
    Options
    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

    With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.


    Having a child and raising one are two completely different things. It's very easy to become a parent, it's not so easy to be a good parent. The sacrifice you mention is not readily made by many people who fail to take the necessary precautions to NOT have children. That burden is then placed on society. That is incredibly selfish to society, and most of all to the child.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    Also, I think many women - especially who got children too early - feel like they "sacrifised" their youth/party/career years and were stuck with babies at home clinging onto them, while others were out doing whatever they wanted.

    So in their eyes because THEY made that sacrifice and you didn't: you look selfish. This is totally bad thinking but some people get some sort of pleasure out of it (like "you suck in a way too dude"). I am just sorry for people who think that way...

    I had my children early, I feel it is was the best thing I ever did, my kids are now 16 and 18 and I am 40. I chose to have children because I wanted to and they are the best thing that every happened to me, that was my choice though!!!

    Life begins at 40 so they say, well mine is, I am now going on the holidays I dreamt of and probably appreciate them more now than what I would have done 20 years ago.

    All choices in life are personal, yes they are selfish but only because you chose them to be for you!!!

    THANK U...lol
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    Children are our future... It requires significant sacrifice to raise a child, a sacrifice someone else made for you so you can have your life now. Its a beautiful sacrifice.. giving yourself so someone else can have life. That is why people view it as selfish when you don't reciprocate that sacrifice when your time comes. I completely understand this point of view.. if everyone decided they didn't want kids the human race would cease to exist in one generation.

    With all that said.. I don't really want kids myself either.

    :laugh: Thats just silly.

    LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ok
  • samlankford
    samlankford Posts: 334
    Options
    my dogs are my kids!! they are better behaved the most peoples human kids :bigsmile:
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
    Options
    Deleting my comment, because I really don't want a *kitten* storm.

    I'll just say I don't want kids, I never will, and I fully admit to being a selfish b*tch.

    i thought what you said was right on, but i get that it would have started a *kitten* storm.. too bad we're not more enlightened.

    im mad i didnt see it =( lol

Categories