Probably going to get slammed for this, but...

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  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    **** that ******* ***** for being ******* nice to you WTF
  • atamrowski
    atamrowski Posts: 417 Member
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    I could tell by the way she said it and how she spent the next few minutes describing how she got in shape that what she said was just a back-handed compliment.

    Or, you could be more self-conscious of your weight, and be negatively projecting your insecurities of your weight onto her happiness in getting fit?

    FYI: There's been quite a few psychological studies on the attractiveness of friends to other friends. You guys said you used to be close friends. She hadn't seen you in awhile. She was probably feeling good and more positive with her own success.

    She probably did think you looked good.

    What She said!
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
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    I'm so confused by this thread.

    Maybe she said you looked great because you guys you to be really close friends, she missed you and she remembered how nice you are?

    Oh, no... that couldn't be it.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    So fat people can't look good? Is that it?
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    **** that ******* ***** for being ******* nice to you WTF

    QFT.

    Why do women hate on other women, even the ones they call "friends" so much?!
  • BuffyEat2Live
    BuffyEat2Live Posts: 327 Member
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    I gained a lot of weight last year following a family tragedy.

    When people who haven't seen me since May tell me that I look great, I'm grateful that they are kind and supportive instead of saying anything about my weight.

    Looking great doesn't have to mean anything about one's weight, you know.
  • lesita75
    lesita75 Posts: 379 Member
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    Damn girl, you have gotten fatter - you should really get to a gym.


    You're welcome.

    Touché!
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
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    Did you ask her, "How do I look?" If you had, maybe she would have just come out and mentioned the weight. If you did ask, and she said, "Great," maybe she thought you looked great. Why not just embrace the fact that you look good, regardless? It seems that you were really upset with yourself for gaining the weight, but you took it out on her. And you were a bit envious of her weight loss. Otherwise, you would have been happy to hear about how she did it. I bet the haterade was dripping from your lips. Get busy doing you from within, and when you guys hook up again, you will believe her when she compliments you.
  • funforsports
    funforsports Posts: 2,656 Member
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    Lesson of the day: Never say a girl looks good or a girl looks bad. They will make a post about you.
  • bkr45678
    bkr45678 Posts: 62 Member
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    Seems like your friend had 3 choices...

    1. Cut the red wire
    2. Cut the blue wire
    3. Tell the bomb it was pretty

    "oh hey! I haven't seen you in so long! you look like you ate a house!"

    OR

    "hey! How have you been I've missed you!"

    OR

    "You're so pretty!"

    I know which one I'd Choose:

    "Cake is delicious."

    You just about made me choke on my lunch. Sheesh.

    :P
  • Shanel0916
    Shanel0916 Posts: 586 Member
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    I'm going to venture a guess that she's probably just as self conscious about herself as you are about yourself ... and even though she probably feels good about her progress, I'm sure, as your friend, she always thinks you look great. I mean, if she hasn't seen you in a while, she may not have noticed your gain at all, and is more focused on the fact that it was nice to see an old friend.



    But, I also get the feeling that women would have a lot less trouble with 'vindictive' 'backstabbing' behavior if they stopped assuming everything another woman said and did was out of nastiness and spite.




    ^so true.
  • Goosiesnougs
    Goosiesnougs Posts: 420
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    You weren't super honest either..........you said nothing?
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    You weren't super honest either..........you said nothing?

    you shush with your logic :tongue: that's not allowed here
    **** that ******* ***** for being ******* nice to you WTF

    QFT.

    Why do women hate on other women, even the ones they call "friends" so much?!

    I learned on MFP that 'friends' and 'boyfriends' and 'husbands' are the people you keep around in real life but make fun of on the internet.
  • kelly_e_montana
    kelly_e_montana Posts: 1,999 Member
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    I think she probably just said it for something to say. When people who have not seen me in a while say I look good, my automatic reaction is to say "So do you." Why do I do this? It's natural, based on gender communication norms.

    My academic research background is in gender communication issues. Commonly, when little boys play, they will tell stories where they try to top each other with each statement. Little girls, however, try to find things in common. There is a good video about gender communication issues by Georgetown linguistics professor Dr. Deborah Tannen in which they show little girls in a similar situation. Even if the little girls are fibbing a little, they will make statements to show how they are the same as the other little girl in the experiment. We hold onto these patterns even into adulthood.
  • sofulnaturalee
    sofulnaturalee Posts: 391 Member
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    This is silly. You gaining weight doesn't mean you can't look great. If that were the case, I guess I NEVER look great because I weigh more than you! lol Now, I know I look great, so I don't need any validation from my friend to tell me that...And I guarantee you had she said you're overweight, you would have posted a thread complaining about the audacity of this girl to comment on your weight. :wink:

    ^^^^^Real Talk......Let the church say AMEN!
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    I also hate it when people are nice and say good things to me. How I wish my closest friends would just walk up to me, call me stupid and ugly, spit a loogie in my eye, and then kick me in the balls.

    Life would be so much more enjoyable if everyone was a disgusting pig to each other.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    Rme at people saying she wasn't being a "good friend" because she wasn't supportive by telling you you're a fatass.

    Saying you're going to be honest and actually being honest are two different things. Plus, maybe you were at the same place in your fitness/lifestyle when you made that promise to be honest to each other. Now your friend is 50lbs lighter, you heavier, so maybe she really isn't comfortable with pointing out your lack of progress? I know I wouldn't want to be on the giving or the receiving end of that home truth.

    And maybe, through losing 50lbs, she's realized that you can't tell someone else to go to the gym and eat less and expect them to do it like magic. Doesn't work that way.
  • Tanja_CHH
    Tanja_CHH Posts: 216 Member
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    Maybe she was just proud of her achievements.
  • kathyfeelgood
    kathyfeelgood Posts: 9 Member
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    Pay no mind to her, Just do your thing and know what your goals are.
    STAY POSITIVE

    Kathy
  • tj1376
    tj1376 Posts: 1,402 Member
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    LOL I clearly don't explain myself well. It wasn't about her losing weight and me being jealous. I was actually happy she was in better shape because she was always sick before and now isn't as often. And no she was not complimenting me on how I was dressed and how my hair looked. It was very clear when she launched into a 20 min dissertation on how she goes to the gym everyday and all of its benefits and that I would love it that she was trying to say something with out saying it. We used to spent every weekend together for years, so I know her well. She does that kind of thing to people all the time.

    My whole thread was meant to focus on people being honest and saying what you are really thinking. But telling someone an outfit looks great on them and then telling a friend it looks like a tent or telling a guy that his tshirt looks great when you can see its 2 sizes to small, or doing like my friend did - THOSE ARE NOT HONEST!! If someone is your friend why do you lie to them. Do you have to be as brutal (and tactless) as I tend to be - no. But you can at least be honest.

    I walked into my bosses office last week and told him he smelled (i was actually talking about his office, but brain to mouth communication isn't always working) Did I mean it to be insulting, no, I was just trying to tell him that there was an odor because I know that he sees a lot of clients and who wants people wrinkling their nose when they walk into someones office and talking about it later.

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