Probably going to get slammed for this, but...

chrishgt4

LOL I clearly don't explain myself well. It wasn't about her losing weight and me being jealous. I was actually happy she was in better shape because she was always sick before and now isn't as often. And no she was not complimenting me on how I was dressed and how my hair looked. It was very clear when she launched into a 20 min dissertation on how she goes to the gym everyday and all of its benefits and that I would love it that she was trying to say something with out saying it. We used to spent every weekend together for years, so I know her well. She does that kind of thing to people all the time.

My whole thread was meant to focus on people being honest and saying what you are really thinking. But telling someone an outfit looks great on them and then telling a friend it looks like a tent or telling a guy that his tshirt looks great when you can see its 2 sizes to small, or doing like my friend did - THOSE ARE NOT HONEST!! If someone is your friend why do you lie to them. Do you have to be as brutal (and tactless) as I tend to be - no. But you can at least be honest.

I walked into my bosses office last week and told him he smelled (i was actually talking about his office, but brain to mouth communication isn't always working) Did I mean it to be insulting, no, I was just trying to tell him that there was an odor because I know that he sees a lot of clients and who wants people wrinkling their nose when they walk into someones office and talking about it later.

I dislike people who defend their ****ty manners by saying "I'm just being honest..."

Learn some social etiquette and social awareness.

Why do some people feel it is ok to be brutally honest about everything like they are doing the other people a favour? Just keep your goddamn mouth closed sometimes.

And sometimes it's ok to lie and tell someone they look good. It's definitely better than telling someone they don't look good even when they never asked the question in the first place.

Tact: Unused by *kitten* since 1993...

skinnyinnotime

LOL I clearly don't explain myself well. It wasn't about her losing weight and me being jealous. I was actually happy she was in better shape because she was always sick before and now isn't as often. And no she was not complimenting me on how I was dressed and how my hair looked. It was very clear when she launched into a 20 min dissertation on how she goes to the gym everyday and all of its benefits and that I would love it that she was trying to say something with out saying it. We used to spent every weekend together for years, so I know her well. She does that kind of thing to people all the time.

My whole thread was meant to focus on people being honest and saying what you are really thinking. But telling someone an outfit looks great on them and then telling a friend it looks like a tent or telling a guy that his tshirt looks great when you can see its 2 sizes to small, or doing like my friend did - THOSE ARE NOT HONEST!! If someone is your friend why do you lie to them. Do you have to be as brutal (and tactless) as I tend to be - no. But you can at least be honest.

I walked into my bosses office last week and told him he smelled (i was actually talking about his office, but brain to mouth communication isn't always working) Did I mean it to be insulting, no, I was just trying to tell him that there was an odor because I know that he sees a lot of clients and who wants people wrinkling their nose when they walk into someones office and talking about it later.

The thing is people want to hear different things, whereas you prefer the honest truth no matter how harsh the vast majority prefer a sugar coating..

osualex

It's not like she told you you look skinny, or that it looks like you've lost weight. Maybe she was happy to see you and you do look great to her?

Lesson-never compliment people. They'll never take it right.

Ilovevwgolf

She's damn if she does damned if she doesn't....

emstethem

Maybe she was being a *****...but maybe not...I think maybe you're taking it wrong...you said you hadn't seen each other in a while...that makes you not that close anymore...maybe you should realize that she realizes that you aren't an idiot...I think maybe you should understand that that was her TACTFUL way of telling you to "get your fat *kitten* to the gym..."...I mean...if she didn't give a **** about you anymore why would she waste her breath? Well, I think you need to quit being so hard on her anyway...being tactful (in lieu of rude..esp.when you haven't seen someone in a while...) isn't a damn crime! Quit treating it like one!