i need some boy advice!

Oompa_Loompa

History with friends is a non-issue. They did what they did, and they're not doing it any more. You ride roller coasters other people have ridden,,,

My question is - what's wrong with Justin? 2 friends have had relationships with him, and in both cases they didn't work out. How come?

I've had one serious relationship in my life - my 23 year marriage to my other half, so maybe I'm not a good example.

I agree! I mean...he's dated 2 girls that are friends...about to be 3 because your going on a date with him..I don't know. Was he aware of how you felt while he was with the other girls..because if he was...then that was kind of insensitve of him..just something to consider.

im pretty sure he knew how i felt. deena wasnt in the picture from the beginning. she's a newly acquired best friend. and katie and deena dont know eachother. they just both happen to be friends of MINE. lol.

im not quite sure why him and i never dated before. probably because i was too shy to make the first move like my friends did. but now we've been talking for a while, and its like he's realizing ive been there all along (referring to my romantic comedy movie analogy, lol)

well just be carefull

LCreutz

Bump....I want to know how this turns out!

LCreutz

Bump....I want to know how this turns out!

KeriD

You are soooo WELCOME!
You are adorable and you should be sooooo PROUD of your fantastic weight loss!!! YOU deserve to be happy! So go tell this guy how you feel and don't worry about your friends, it will all work out!

Oompa_Loompa

Okay. This is just my opinion. Ya know in the beginning when you kind of have a crush on someone, but nothing has really developed??? Unless you just say, hey, I'm really wanting to pursue this, then it could just be a crush. So when your friend asked if you would mind, and you said no, she probably thought that's all it was. And 5 years later, the other friend may have thought you were over that already. And maybe not. Only you know the communication that took place.

However, as one who tends to avoid conflict. Friends are important, and guys can come and go. I wouldn't just say run after him only because if your friends can do it to you, then you shouldn't feel bad about doing that back. That's not being a true friend either. I would just have a girls night. Sit down, have dinner, and discuss it. The whole story. Not just hey, I want to date him. I would say ya know, 10 years ago I made a mistake. I really like Justin and I told you I wouldn't mind if you guys dated. I should have said something back then. And not that your angry with her for dating him. But that you should have said something back then. Let them know that you have an opportunity about dating him. And ask their advice. You may not like what they have to say. And you might walk away and decide to do the complete opposite. It's ulitmately your choice. But if you really care about how your friends will feel, and that seems to be your biggest concern here, then I wouldn't do anything without discussing the ENTIRE situation with them.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOO I completley agree with this! 2 wrongs do not make a right.

Oompa_Loompa

i say tread lightly, as an ex man *kitten*, i can say you might just be another notch in his belt, the 'trifecta girl' if you will...then again it all depends on how serious he was with other 2 girls. many good points made already re: what's wrong with him that 2 of your friends left him...if your friends share alot of your values as friends tend to do, there might be common issues that will also cause you to leave him...although maybe he left your friends cuz he had his eye on you all along and they didn't measure up...i would talk to friends get their 411, then make a decision that ultimately makes you happy, after all it is your life

lol ex man *kitten*! well congratulations to YOU for not being one anymore YAY lol

nolachick

update us on this plz~! lol

I say go for it and also be careful not to have high expectations and then have them crushed on the first date.

take it easy

Rev_no_Boosh

Go for it! You've already missed two chances. A third chance very rarely comes along.

I'd also just let your friends know that you're going to do it. While I don't think they should have veto power they probably deserve to know since they were with this guy for extended periods of time.

rmccully

go for it .
be honest and be careful

jojo2003

hi little lea, in response to your boy advice, i say if you think you can trust this guy then go for it, but if he knew that you liked him before your frenenemy stepped in and knicked him , then sorry its a no, cos if he knew that you liked him and he decided to go out with your frenenemy regardless, then ask yourself is he worth it. As for your frenenemy, if you still see her as a friend you are good, because she's shown that she's not a friend, she's stabbed you in the back, who's to say she wont do it again, its a case of i dont want him now, but you cant have him either. If you are still not sure, then f--k it, life is too short , give him a go and see if he was worth waiting for, if not bin him at least you wont spend another 5 - 10 years wondering if only!. GET RID OF YOUR FRENENEMY OR KEEP HER AT ARM'S LENGTH.

ka_42

Pardon my french, but screw your friends. If they're going to jump in and date someone you just TOLD them you liked, then their feelings shouldnt be taken into consideration because they never took YOUR feelings into consideration. Some friends.

It's true.... I think it sounds like you've been patient enough. Honestly though... the situation might be a little messy and your girl friends might not like it but you have to do what is best for you! Give it a shot!

thumper44

I say go for it as well.

But before jumping in with both feet, I'd be asking your g/f's what her problem was with him.
Take their responses with a grain of salt of course. They might reveal another side of him that you are not aware.

Other than that, don't worry about their feelings. If they are a true friend, then they would want you to be happy, regardless of who you choose.

greeneyes82

im not quite sure why him and i never dated before. probably because i was too shy to make the first move like my friends did. but now we've been talking for a while, and its like he's realizing ive been there all along (referring to my romantic comedy movie analogy, lol)
[/quote]

This is the classic for Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me." And a romantic comedy!

natspoiledbrat

I think you should totally go for it! If your friends knew that you liked him from day 1, then they stepped on your toes and didn't care about your feelings. Also, I just ran into an old friend from high school yesterday at the gym. She told me she is married to this guy that our other good friend used to date in high school. She is totally happy and in love with him................who knows.............you might be next. If your friendship is true, then your friends will be happy for you and they will get over it. Good luck on your date!

Destined

Go get your man gir and have fun and let us know how it went......

Vallandingham

Don't waste your time. Move on.

Lil_Leah

Don't waste your time. Move on.

i dont like this!

i dont consider him a waste of time at all! and for everyone questioning what might be "wrong" with him.. i've known him for ten years. even while he dated katie and while he dated deena, him and i remained good friends. he dated them both for almost 4 years. katie cheated. deena fell outta love. so it'd be different if he just dated them for a few months and they left or whatever. he's still the same justin i met ten years ago, he's an absolutely amazing person, and i've decided i'm gonna go for it. because i cant let this opportunity pass me up again!

weaverc

Guy code is much more serious than girl code, in my opinion. A guy never dates his friend's ex, but I don't think the same applies to girls. Seriously, I would sit down with your girlfriends and explain to them that you have liked this guy and they both had a chance with him and it didn't work out, so now it's your chance. If they are truely your best friends they will want you to be happy and they will be ok with you dating him. It might be ackward at first, but you will be kicking yourself in the head and wonder what if we had just given it a shot, for the rest of your life.

Vallandingham

Don't waste your time. Move on.

i dont like this!

i dont consider him a waste of time at all! and for everyone questioning what might be "wrong" with him.. i've known him for ten years. even while he dated katie and while he dated deena, him and i remained good friends. he dated them both for almost 4 years. katie cheated. deena fell outta love. so it'd be different if he just dated them for a few months and they left or whatever. he's still the same justin i met ten years ago, he's an absolutely amazing person, and i've decided i'm gonna go for it. because i cant let this opportunity pass me up again!

Good luck then.

I have raised 3 daughters. 2 of them have already been through what you are going through. Neither one is with the original guy. Neither of them wanted my advice either.

Sometimes we have to learn our own lessons without guidance from others.

I hope it works out for you.

leelu

Have to disagree with 90% of you.

You never stood up and said to your friend - no i like this guy please let me have a chance so they werent to know you were serious - and you only had a crush your friends on the other hand have had serious relationships with this guy. that clearly makes him out of bounds ... unless your prepared to loose your friends dont go there.

Lil_Leah

Have to disagree with 90% of you.

You never stood up and said to your friend - no i like this guy please let me have a chance so they werent to know you were serious - and you only had a crush your friends on the other hand have had serious relationships with this guy. that clearly makes him out of bounds ... unless your prepared to loose your friends dont go there.

i respectfully disagree.

im doing it. for me. finally. :smooched:

haleysman

Guy ... A guy never dates his friend's ex, but ....

while this may be true, some guys do tend to pass around trophy's/accomplishments when it comes to girls they don't really care about...as i said before, tread lightly so as not to become the 'trifecta' girl, and definitely sit with your friends and inquire how serious they got and y they stopped with the guy, you never want to be a notch in some guys bedpost just so he can brag to his friends how he was with 3 friends

Lil_Leah

Guy ... A guy never dates his friend's ex, but ....

while this may be true, some guys do tend to pass around trophy's/accomplishments when it comes to girls they don't really care about...as i said before, tread lightly so as not to become the 'trifecta' girl, and definitely sit with your friends and inquire how serious they got and y they stopped with the guy, you never want to be a notch in some guys bedpost just so he can brag to his friends how he was with 3 friends

LOL!! oh, you guys are too funny. katie and deena dont know eachother. they just happen to both be friends of mine, from different groups. he's not going for the "trifecta" HAHAHA. :laugh: i do appreciate you all looking out for me though, and i respect the input from both sides, otherwise, i wouldnt have posted on here for advice! but, hes a mature guy, not a man *kitten*. has been in long term relationships for the past ten years. i really dont think i'm about to become a notch in a bedpost.

but, keep it coming guys! thank you all so much!

cbnorris

Oh man I have such mixed feelings about this... On one hand, I know it's like to pine after someone and think it;s awesome that things look like they may work out how you always wanted. On the other hand, 4 years is a long time, and though they should have respected your crush originally, they now have a history with this guy and that will never change. Have these friends truly moved on from them? There are certain people I have dated that, even years later, it would devastate me if a close friend dated them. How long have this guy and the 2nd friend been split up? (sorry If this has been already answered)

I truly hope this all plays out in your favor and you get to have your cake and eat it too! Errr... maybe that's not the best analogy for us trying to loose weight....

VictorianJade

This is called recycling.

My friends and I used to recycle boyfriends all the time. I was always the first to have one (I don't tend to like recycled men)... and men that make the rounds of a group of friends, I tend to look at as skeezy. But that's just me.

You've had a thing for this guy for 10 years. You sat back and supported them while they dated him, and I think it's about time they did the same.

However, I stand by the recycling thing. For me, it's just icky.

Lil_Leah

date night tonight!! dinner at the olive garden (maybe soup and salad, no breadsticks??) then watching a movie at my house. :smooched:

i'm so nervous! i'll keep everyone posted on how it goes. gaaaah! :ohwell:

nolachick

olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
(no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

good luck!

nolachick

olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
(no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

good luck!

Lil_Leah

olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
(no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

good luck!

haha! i'm gonna try really hard to be good! but.. he's so good looking. its like those damned breadsticks. i could say i wont eat one, but they look so delicious, my will power could slip! :laugh:

rmccully

SO HOW WAS IT?