i need some boy advice!

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135

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  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
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    Pardon my french, but screw your friends. If they're going to jump in and date someone you just TOLD them you liked, then their feelings shouldnt be taken into consideration because they never took YOUR feelings into consideration. Some friends.

    It's true.... I think it sounds like you've been patient enough. Honestly though... the situation might be a little messy and your girl friends might not like it but you have to do what is best for you! Give it a shot!
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    I say go for it as well.

    But before jumping in with both feet, I'd be asking your g/f's what her problem was with him.
    Take their responses with a grain of salt of course. They might reveal another side of him that you are not aware.

    Other than that, don't worry about their feelings. If they are a true friend, then they would want you to be happy, regardless of who you choose.
  • greeneyes82
    greeneyes82 Posts: 318 Member
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    im not quite sure why him and i never dated before. probably because i was too shy to make the first move like my friends did. but now we've been talking for a while, and its like he's realizing ive been there all along (referring to my romantic comedy movie analogy, lol)
    [/quote]

    This is the classic for Taylor Swift's "You Belong with Me.":love: And a romantic comedy!
  • natspoiledbrat
    natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
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    I think you should totally go for it! If your friends knew that you liked him from day 1, then they stepped on your toes and didn't care about your feelings. Also, I just ran into an old friend from high school yesterday at the gym. She told me she is married to this guy that our other good friend used to date in high school. She is totally happy and in love with him................who knows.............you might be next. If your friendship is true, then your friends will be happy for you and they will get over it. Good luck on your date!
  • Destined
    Destined Posts: 116
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    Go get your man gir and have fun and let us know how it went......
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
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    Don't waste your time. Move on.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    Don't waste your time. Move on.

    i dont like this! :angry:

    i dont consider him a waste of time at all! and for everyone questioning what might be "wrong" with him.. i've known him for ten years. even while he dated katie and while he dated deena, him and i remained good friends. he dated them both for almost 4 years. katie cheated. deena fell outta love. so it'd be different if he just dated them for a few months and they left or whatever. he's still the same justin i met ten years ago, he's an absolutely amazing person, and i've decided i'm gonna go for it. because i cant let this opportunity pass me up again! :wink:
  • weaverc
    weaverc Posts: 158
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    Guy code is much more serious than girl code, in my opinion. A guy never dates his friend's ex, but I don't think the same applies to girls. Seriously, I would sit down with your girlfriends and explain to them that you have liked this guy and they both had a chance with him and it didn't work out, so now it's your chance. If they are truely your best friends they will want you to be happy and they will be ok with you dating him. It might be ackward at first, but you will be kicking yourself in the head and wonder what if we had just given it a shot, for the rest of your life.
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
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    Don't waste your time. Move on.

    i dont like this! :angry:

    i dont consider him a waste of time at all! and for everyone questioning what might be "wrong" with him.. i've known him for ten years. even while he dated katie and while he dated deena, him and i remained good friends. he dated them both for almost 4 years. katie cheated. deena fell outta love. so it'd be different if he just dated them for a few months and they left or whatever. he's still the same justin i met ten years ago, he's an absolutely amazing person, and i've decided i'm gonna go for it. because i cant let this opportunity pass me up again! :wink:

    Good luck then.

    I have raised 3 daughters. 2 of them have already been through what you are going through. Neither one is with the original guy. Neither of them wanted my advice either.

    Sometimes we have to learn our own lessons without guidance from others.

    I hope it works out for you.
  • leelu
    leelu Posts: 136 Member
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    Have to disagree with 90% of you.

    You never stood up and said to your friend - no i like this guy please let me have a chance so they werent to know you were serious - and you only had a crush your friends on the other hand have had serious relationships with this guy. that clearly makes him out of bounds ... unless your prepared to loose your friends dont go there.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    Have to disagree with 90% of you.

    You never stood up and said to your friend - no i like this guy please let me have a chance so they werent to know you were serious - and you only had a crush your friends on the other hand have had serious relationships with this guy. that clearly makes him out of bounds ... unless your prepared to loose your friends dont go there.

    i respectfully disagree. :smile:

    im doing it. for me. finally. :smooched:
  • haleysman
    haleysman Posts: 48
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    Guy ... A guy never dates his friend's ex, but ....

    while this may be true, some guys do tend to pass around trophy's/accomplishments when it comes to girls they don't really care about...as i said before, tread lightly so as not to become the 'trifecta' girl, and definitely sit with your friends and inquire how serious they got and y they stopped with the guy, you never want to be a notch in some guys bedpost just so he can brag to his friends how he was with 3 friends
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    Guy ... A guy never dates his friend's ex, but ....

    while this may be true, some guys do tend to pass around trophy's/accomplishments when it comes to girls they don't really care about...as i said before, tread lightly so as not to become the 'trifecta' girl, and definitely sit with your friends and inquire how serious they got and y they stopped with the guy, you never want to be a notch in some guys bedpost just so he can brag to his friends how he was with 3 friends

    LOL!! oh, you guys are too funny. katie and deena dont know eachother. they just happen to both be friends of mine, from different groups. he's not going for the "trifecta" HAHAHA. :laugh: i do appreciate you all looking out for me though, and i respect the input from both sides, otherwise, i wouldnt have posted on here for advice! but, hes a mature guy, not a man *kitten*. has been in long term relationships for the past ten years. i really dont think i'm about to become a notch in a bedpost. :wink:

    but, keep it coming guys! thank you all so much!
  • cbnorris
    cbnorris Posts: 204 Member
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    Oh man I have such mixed feelings about this... On one hand, I know it's like to pine after someone and think it;s awesome that things look like they may work out how you always wanted. On the other hand, 4 years is a long time, and though they should have respected your crush originally, they now have a history with this guy and that will never change. Have these friends truly moved on from them? There are certain people I have dated that, even years later, it would devastate me if a close friend dated them. How long have this guy and the 2nd friend been split up? (sorry If this has been already answered)

    I truly hope this all plays out in your favor and you get to have your cake and eat it too! Errr... maybe that's not the best analogy for us trying to loose weight....
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    This is called recycling.

    My friends and I used to recycle boyfriends all the time. I was always the first to have one (I don't tend to like recycled men)... and men that make the rounds of a group of friends, I tend to look at as skeezy. But that's just me.

    You've had a thing for this guy for 10 years. You sat back and supported them while they dated him, and I think it's about time they did the same.

    However, I stand by the recycling thing. For me, it's just icky.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    date night tonight!! dinner at the olive garden (maybe soup and salad, no breadsticks??) then watching a movie at my house. :smooched:

    i'm so nervous! i'll keep everyone posted on how it goes. gaaaah! :ohwell:
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

    and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
    (no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

    good luck!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

    and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
    (no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

    good luck!
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    olive garden sounds yummy and yes NO breadsticks those suckers are 120cals a pop! :grumble:

    and be careful about having movies at ur house, don't let things get too fast too soon!
    (no I don't think you're that kind of girl, but just don't want u to get carried away)

    good luck!

    haha! i'm gonna try really hard to be good! but.. he's so good looking. its like those damned breadsticks. i could say i wont eat one, but they look so delicious, my will power could slip! :laugh:
  • rmccully
    rmccully Posts: 319
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    SO HOW WAS IT?

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