To FAT for pictures! ugh...

NeuroticVirgo

This is a GREAT read! It will make you think twice the next time you hide at parties or turn your face away in a group photo.

http://myfriendteresablog.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/


So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed . . .

Listen. I hear you. You’re a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and Justin. Precious, I even picked a career that has me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn’t it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws . . . but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y’all . . . how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?

In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know.

My personal duck-and-cover (or signature “make a funny face”) approach to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire life changed. I nearly left this earth with no physical evidence of the goofy, wide open and loud love I have for my life, my husband, my family and friends. I haven’t had professional pictures done since our wedding in 2006 . . . always waiting for this elusive moment where I would be thin enough (pretty enough) to have such a permanent record of me. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that I look the way I actually look.

So here is the harsh truth y’all. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn’t wait until you “get thin” enough to capture it. Life is happening . . . it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it. My mom says of the accident she is “just glad that we’re still a whole family.” My gift to her this Christmas was a family portrait showing just that, 9 months post-accident . . . a whole family.



Do you know what my mom sees when she looks at this picture? Her beautiful family all together.
Do you know what my husband sees? The family he gained the moment he met me (and how much he looks like my dad…)
Do you know what my dad sees? The happy family he has worked for every day of his life.
Do you know what my brother sees? That he got away with wearing shorts…

Shocker: No one is looking at how fat I look.

;

Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you’ve been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like . . . and that if this magical day does come when you’re acceptably thin you’ll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5 – 10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?

Your children want pictures with their mom.

Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.

Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (ok, and more pictures of the grandkids while you’re at it)

And if you’re thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself (“wow she has gained weight”) then . . . newsflash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a Sweet Tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality . . . YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you’ve gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separetes . . . ) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.

So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed? . . . Ok. But you’re the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.

babeinthemoon

This was great! Thanks for sharing!

MyChocolateDiet

Crying. Reality check. No, seriously...crying.

jackiecamarena

This was great. So great.

shella_bella

I love it. Amazing.

ChaleGirl

Brilliant post!
I feel exactly like this and hate photos
It is crazy how insecurities can take pleasure out of such basic things.
It's so true that we cannot stop loving and enjoying life whilst we are waiting to be thin!
We have to stop being insecure, accept who we are and love ourselves regardless!!

brit_ks_89

OH I CRIED ! i love this!!!!! thank you for posting!

angelams1019

RxVirus

So inspirational and true. Thank you so much for sharing.

zuzuanne88

This is a huge eye opener! I don't have any picture of my daughter and I together but two! what would she think if something happened to me.Thank you so much!

amarief24

How inspirational! I've always been this same way, turn the head when I see a camera, but hate it when my clients judge themselves on their portraits! We, as women are all so beautiful. We all have strength and beauty within us. Thank you for posting, made me shed a tear!! Good job girl friend!

tinyzombie

Thank you for sharing. What a reality check! I've always hated having photos taken of me, but this will make me think twice before I duck out of a photo op with my family next time.

droppinpounds130

WOW!! Thanks for sharing, and I am taking more pictures from now on!! This really made me think about how I see myself and how others see me.

Thanks a million!!
BTW your family looks so happy

annemcharles

Perfect! Beautifully written - and gives perspective whether one is worried about a big butt or a big nose being photographed! By the way - that is a perfect family portrait! When I looked at it (before I read the article) was a happy, loving family!

janatarnhem

Wonderful blog... Thank you.

AleshaRae82

You nailed it. This really hit my heart.

SNOflake888

This describes how I feel exactly. I cried. Maybe I'll let a few more photos of me slip into the world while I'm still in it. I've always just been so embarrassed about the way I look. I always imagined that everyone else was looking at me the same way. (And let's face it, a few people ARE looking at me like that, but why should those people run my life? Why should they put me in hiding?) The more weight I gained, the more I reclusive I became. I'm now almost a hermit. I go to work and that's it. If I could do my job from my house, I would do it. If I could do my job where no one would ever see me, I would. I've lived a very sad life for the past few years.

I realized another thing while reading this, my mom felt the same way. She RARELY let people get pictures of her. And now that she's gone, I have so few pictures to remember her by. (And now I'm crying again... great... )

I hate that I look the way I do (it's a strong word, I know, but it's accurate, I assure you), but I hate more that I feel like I've wasted years of my life. So I think today, I'll try to get my husband to out on a walk with me where I'll actually be in public. Maybe we'll even take a picture together once we finish. Double chin and all.

Bealach_Bug

Thank you for posting this

tekwriter

thank you for sharing that amazing story. I think many of us fall into the trap.

traceface71

Perfection! Thank you!

Racquel1

This is brilliant and so true