mens opinions needed....

1246

Replies

  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.
    im celebate so no sex :sad:


    Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


    If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

    You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

    Ok I got sucked back in.

    Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.


    Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

    I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

    Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

    You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Sometimes I like my peanut butter smooth, sometimes chunky. A grilled PB&J with chunky peanut butter rocks my socks.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Hey, I can dig it... maybe if you said, "I'd like to get to know a guy a bit better before I bang it out..." people would get what you're saying. I have no issues with enjoying a guy's company and getting to know him a bit better just in case he has some habits that would make him a good candidate for Valtrex... but yeah, "celebate" is a heavy word.

    So are we talking minutes, hours, or days with you? LOL

    Who? Me? I usually like to know your first name, and some times that's optional if we're short on time.
  • whitneyps7
    whitneyps7 Posts: 409 Member
    But what about your needs? This idea that a woman's vagina is some sacred token that must only be given to the most worthy of suitor is crazycakes. You deserve to enjoy physical contact with men just as much as they want to enjoy it with you... guys aren't the only ones that enjoy sex... this has very little to do with your overall dating thread and more to do with something that I think is wrong with ALL of the dating world.

    But seriously, it's just sex.

    sex is big self respect thing to me. most people now a days dont really get it. everyone throws there gentials around like confetti. i dont lkike that especailly with all the stds and werid **** going around

    That's fine girl! I know you said you weren't sure of a better word, but "celibate" is a pretty heavy duty "NO SEX" often with religious connotations, so I think that's why people went, "Woahwoahwoah!"

    Also, I'd point out: It's not a fair statement to say "everyone throws their genitals around like confetti"; if people are being safe and consensual about it, that's fine. If you don't want to have sex like that, it's also fine. No need to minimize an opposite standpoint (and I guarantee, people were only pointing out the celibacy thing because they wanted to be sure you were ultimately happy and healthy with your sex life, too).

    thanks lol ya i didnt know what other word to call it i guess lol. and yes your right im sorry if i offended anyone who has casual sex, lol its just not my thing.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    Hey, I can dig it... maybe if you said, "I'd like to get to know a guy a bit better before I bang it out..." people would get what you're saying. I have no issues with enjoying a guy's company and getting to know him a bit better just in case he has some habits that would make him a good candidate for Valtrex... but yeah, "celebate" is a heavy word.

    So are we talking minutes, hours, or days with you? LOL
    months lol its been a while.....like A WHILE lol since i have but if i met someone say today and we hit it off we wouldnt be having sex till maybe june or july at the earliest

    Ah that was for misskorney LOL. Your answer is fine though. A few months isn't bad and I think a lot of guys will find it classy. The ones that don't aren't for you anyhow. To eaches own type of thing.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.
    im celebate so no sex :sad:


    Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


    If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

    You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

    Ok I got sucked back in.

    Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.


    Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

    I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

    Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

    You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.
    Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

    Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

    If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    I do not have male parts so I cannot say what a man wants out of a woman. I can say I have been in a relationship with one man for eight amazing years, and I met him for the first time in matching red sweats and a baggy shirt without an ounce of make up on my face, and a rather bad blemish on my chin. I smelled like a million bucks though, and my attitude, which by the way was "If you don't like me, don't look at me" was what he loved about me. He loved my natural self, no push up bra, no cover up, just raw me. :) If I couldn't be me, we wouldn't be together. So be yourself and find someone that loves you for being you. It will last a lot longer than putting on a face to reel in some guy that truly has no clue who you are because you aren't showing him. If he cannot handle your attitude or your personality when he first meets you he certainly won't handle the real you later after the shine of newness wears off. Trust me.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    A grilled PB&J with chunky peanut butter rocks my socks.

    That makes peanut butter runny. I object.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.
    im celebate so no sex :sad:


    Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


    If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

    You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

    Ok I got sucked back in.

    Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.


    Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

    I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

    Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

    You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.
    Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

    Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

    If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

    Cat fight! Hot!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Doesn't matter if you pinch the edges before grilling. Try it, you will love it. Do it just like a grilled cheese.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    be confident in who you are..don't act dumb for anyone and once in a while so something that blows his mind!
  • melbatoast917
    melbatoast917 Posts: 370 Member
    This thread again?


    Ask 1000 different men, you will get 1000 different answers.

    The same content can be found in the "Pay Attention to MEEEE" threads.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!
  • melbatoast917
    melbatoast917 Posts: 370 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!

    Duct tape over the nips or I'm out of here.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    This thread again?


    Ask 1000 different men, you will get 1000 different answers.

    The same content can be found in the "Pay Attention to MEEEE" threads.

    It's a fitness site where people brag about how much weight they've lost, post pictures of themselves flexing, and shirtless photos to show off their abs. Every single thing about this site is "look at me." Threads like this are fine :P
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.
    im celebate so no sex :sad:


    Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


    If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

    You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

    Ok I got sucked back in.

    Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.


    Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

    I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

    Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

    You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.
    Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

    Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

    If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

    I have not said anything about anyone being childish, I haven't said that there is something wrong with being celibate, and I never once insinuated that she wasn't ready or capable of anything. You are projecting hardcore right now. These comments are for HER, and if she were to take issue with them, I could completely understand. But she seems to be taking my comments respectfully, as we are two adults who are in disagreement and speaking rationally and maturely.

    As far as my feelings about THIS WOMAN'S situation, her definition of 'celibate' is not what I had initially thought it was, and she has clarified, and we have came to an understanding on our opinions.

    If a woman were truly celibate and did not wish to engage in any physical contact with a person they are attracted to until an agreed upon time in which it would be appropriate, that would be fine by me. But that person may want to focus more on their social interactions with people of all sexes and backgrounds, as to get a broad spectrum of friends, that may or may not, in the future, be someone that a physical relationship could be developed with.

    Now, please, slow your roll.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!

    Duct tape over the nips or I'm out of here.
    Duct tape is WAY too adhesive, it would probably hurt a lot coming off...how about electrical tape?
  • emmalouc93
    emmalouc93 Posts: 328 Member
    Not JUST men are sexually attracted to women.

    Why turn this into a politically motivated thread??? Obviously she wants a man, so she is asking a mans opinion.

    If she was a lesbian, she would ask females opinion.

    Simple. No need to hijack it for whatever cause. Not everything has to be against something else.



    OP - I'm not a man, as you can see, but from experience, there is nothing more charming than being absolutely 100% who you are. The right man will love it, without sounding too cliche.
  • melbatoast917
    melbatoast917 Posts: 370 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!

    Duct tape over the nips or I'm out of here.
    Duct tape is WAY too adhesive, it would probably hurt a lot coming off...how about electrical tape?

    I'll take that deal.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
    be confident in who you are..don't act dumb for anyone and once in a while so something that blows his mind!

    blows his what..?
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!

    Duct tape over the nips or I'm out of here.
    Duct tape is WAY too adhesive, it would probably hurt a lot coming off...how about electrical tape?

    BRB...I am going to the car for pasties with tassles.....I got this!
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    I can only speak for me because men are certainly not all the same but, here it goes:

    (1) physical attraction - a body that is fit and clothes that are sexy, but not slutty
    (2) confidence with a little vulnerability - I like a confident woman but I also want to know that she's not trying to prove it every minute of the day
    (3) a sense of humor - she doesn't have to laugh at every stupid joke I make but I also don't want her rolling her eyes at every one either, oh and she should have some of her own. I'm not here to entertain her.
    (4) intelligence, both intellectual and emotional - she should be able to take a hint of whatever kind and definitely be able to talk about something other than her hair and nails. And yes, I like her hair and nails, but there should be more there.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    be confident in who you are..don't act dumb for anyone and once in a while so something that blows his mind!

    blows his what..?

    mind...which can include answering the door in one of his button up shirts...
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    *Snip*
    Cat fight! Hot!
    Right? All we need is a vat of slippery chocolate and a couple of razzledazzle bikinis!

    Duct tape over the nips or I'm out of here.
    Duct tape is WAY too adhesive, it would probably hurt a lot coming off...how about electrical tape?

    BRB...I am going to the car for pasties with tassles.....I got this!

    I keep an inflatable kids pool in my trunk. Let's do this!
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
    a girl who doesn't give a crap what guys like. Be whoever you want, do it with confidence and watch em fall in line
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Then just go out and find some guys to bang. Eventually one of those will be cool and like you back.
    im celebate so no sex :sad:


    Why? And secondly, why are you in search of a man to date if you're not going to have sex? You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship.


    If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner, then just go hang out with large groups of people and sort out men and women that you enjoy the company of and hang out with them.

    You seem to be making this way harder on yourself than it needs to.

    Ok I got sucked back in.

    Why the hell not? If she wants to wait or abstain from sex thats her decision and it should be respected, regardless of her beliefs behind it.


    Well, if she's not looking to have sex until marriage, then I think she will probably be better off seeking out friends of both sexes to spend time with and enrich her life. If she spent less time worrying about what kind of man she wants, and what kind of man wants her, etc. etc. blah blah, she will have a nice, relaxing life full of fun and adventure, and eventually the right guy will come along... because, as a confident woman, she is following her life path as an independent person (which makes everyone more attractive.)

    I am completely failing to see where sex plays into this. Is it nice? Definitely. Fun? Hell yeah. But what does that have anything to do with 'enriching her life' and...anything you said. If anything the lack thereof would probably make leading life as an independent person easier, and having sex when someone doesn't personally feel ready would NOT help ANYONE'S confidence levels.

    Like you said, its just sex. Why the hell does it matter at all if she doesn't want to have it? What she does with her body is up to her and as someone she presumably doesn't know very well (because if you two did know eachother, you'd probably know this as well) you have no say in what she gets or doesn't get to do with it.

    You are like, getting really defensive! What I said, since I think you've got your rage glasses on, is that if she is choosing to not have sex, there are other ways to enrich her life besides seeking out a (specifically) male counterpart for one-on-one dating interaction.
    Sure am because really it's none of your business what she does or doesn't want to do with herself. Bringing it up at all and construing that she's childish because she doesn't want to engage in it, as you did in your original post regarding her decisions, strikes me straight up as incredibly rude.

    Likewise it is perfectly reasonable to want a relationship that isn't centered around sex, and I definitely take issue that you apparently seem to feel that just because she, and presumably anyone else who's celibate, doesn't want to have sex it means that they're not ready or are otherwise unable to partake in a healthy intimate relationship that doesn't have to do with platonic love.

    If I'm misunderstanding your post, please feel free to correct me but just know in that, in so saying these things to her, you're pretty much saying them to me too as this is a personal choice we share.

    I have not said anything about anyone being childish, I haven't said that there is something wrong with being celibate, and I never once insinuated that she wasn't ready or capable of anything. You are projecting hardcore right now. These comments are for HER, and if she were to take issue with them, I could completely understand. But she seems to be taking my comments respectfully, as we are two adults who are in disagreement and speaking rationally and maturely.

    As far as my feelings about THIS WOMAN'S situation, her definition of 'celibate' is not what I had initially thought it was, and she has clarified, and we have came to an understanding on our opinions.

    If a woman were truly celibate and did not wish to engage in any physical contact with a person they are attracted to until an agreed upon time in which it would be appropriate, that would be fine by me. But that person may want to focus more on their social interactions with people of all sexes and backgrounds, as to get a broad spectrum of friends, that may or may not, in the future, be someone that a physical relationship could be developed with.

    Now, please, slow your roll.
    I did not say that you outright said it, I said you construed it, largely in part by saying "You're an adult, and sex is part of a healthy adult relationship" which does a pretty good job at insinuating that if one is an adult and does not want to partake in sexual activities, they are childish.

    That, and your decision to even bring it up at all (especially as you, frankly, weren't the most polite about it imho) is what I take issue with. Likewise that you seemed to imply that if someone wasn't ready for sex they flat out weren't ready for a significant other, in seeming to completely dismiss the possibility of having a husband or boyfriend without that form of intimacy in saying "If you're not looking for a husband/male sex partner" but as I came into the middle of your conversation I'm perfectly willing to admit that I may have misunderstood this part.

    That is my issue. "Roll" is not slowed. If you want to address it, or reword what you said to get what you meant clear, feel free. I'm listening.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    Not JUST men are sexually attracted to women.

    Why turn this into a politically motivated thread??? Obviously she wants a man, so she is asking a mans opinion.

    If she was a lesbian, she would ask females opinion.

    Simple. No need to hijack it for whatever cause. Not everything has to be against something else.



    OP - I'm not a man, as you can see, but from experience, there is nothing more charming than being absolutely 100% who you are. The right man will love it, without sounding too cliche.
    I just fail to see how in the end it would be THAT different, but perhaps I'm just naive. Please feel free to explain it to me if you want.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Wall of Quotes crits you for 9000 dmg
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    No, sissiluv, I'm not going to continue explaining myself. Regardless of what you have read in to my comments, they were not meant for you and have absolutely nothing to do with you. You are extremely butthurt about a conversation I'm having with someone else, who is not (from what I can tell) bothered by my comments or opinions in the slightest. I'm really sorry that you are so upset about my differing opinion, as I make no excuses for what I think. It would seem that you are very passionate about your choices, and have taken my comments to heart, and I do hope you are able to accept the fact that I have an opinion that is not in line with your personal beliefs.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
    Not JUST men are sexually attracted to women.

    Why turn this into a politically motivated thread??? Obviously she wants a man, so she is asking a mans opinion.

    If she was a lesbian, she would ask females opinion.

    Simple. No need to hijack it for whatever cause. Not everything has to be against something else.



    OP - I'm not a man, as you can see, but from experience, there is nothing more charming than being absolutely 100% who you are. The right man will love it, without sounding too cliche.

    Ah, I see, it's now "political" to point out a pretty obvious statement of "not only men like women and have opinions on them." Clearly men and women cannot have the same viewpoints on what makes a woman appealing, not that it really matters, as every individual has a different preference, as established by the hundreds of topics already about this.

    Ugh, it must be Monday.

    BE WHO YOU ARE OP. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you; if you mold yourself into a certain image, you are doing both a future partner and yourself a disservice.