The Guys' Rules

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FahadNaseem
FahadNaseem Posts: 80 Member
in Chit-Chat
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

FINALLY the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear "THE Rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.... these are all NUMBERED "1" ON PURPOSE.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. AND NO, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle Hints do not work!
Strong Hints do not work!
Obvious Hints do not work!
Just say it !!!!

1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that last for 17 months is a PROBLEM. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In Fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret Girls, DON'T Expect us to act like Soap Opera Guys!!

1. If you think you're Fat, your probably are. DON'T ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in TWO ways and One of the ways makes you Sad or Angry, we meant THE OTHER ONE.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us How you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, JUST do it Yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and Neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colours, Like WINDOWS default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.

1. If it itches, it Will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING", We will act like NOTHING's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything your wear is fine.....REALLY

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as rugby, cars or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a Shape as well

1. Thank you for reading this.

TONIGHT; YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH
But Did You Know Men Really Don't Mind That? It's like CAMPING.
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Replies

  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    lmao... pretty funny!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    Blog resport?
  • icandowhateveriputmymindto
    icandowhateveriputmymindto Posts: 602 Member
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    Who knew guys were so picky.. Jeez.
  • jamfan
    jamfan Posts: 124 Member
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    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
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    lmao...nice!! :laugh:
  • Sambytheway82
    Sambytheway82 Posts: 500
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    Omsk love it :drinker:
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    Sounds reasonable enough.

    I maintain the right and or privilege to likewise itch what needs to be scratched however! : }
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Sounds reasonable enough.

    I maintain the right and or privilege to likewise itch what needs to be scratched however! : }

    That rule should cross gender boundaries.
  • beckieboomoo
    beckieboomoo Posts: 590 Member
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    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?

    Not possible...you will be in the dog house :P
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
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    Sounds reasonable enough.

    I maintain the right and or privilege to likewise itch what needs to be scratched however! : }

    That rule should cross gender boundaries.
    I hope so! I promise to wash my hands after if I have to scratch something intimate even. D:
  • carlynn13
    carlynn13 Posts: 281
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    lmao!! love it :drinker:
  • Mrder37
    Mrder37 Posts: 904
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    Bet it Moses I just found my new commandments amen brother:)
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    This looks awfully familiar . . . perhaps a citation is in order?
  • tiffanyheth
    tiffanyheth Posts: 510 Member
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    I find this seriously accurate.

    So funny!
  • RachelDenise30
    RachelDenise30 Posts: 177 Member
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    I think numbers 1-1 were insightful but number 1 isn't true for all.
  • jamfan
    jamfan Posts: 124 Member
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    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?

    Not possible...you will be in the dog house :P

    In the interest of maintaining relations for the foreseeable future I will not be able to implement the stated points for their intended purpose & for the betterment of mankind regardless of their validity. That's the power the women have in our society.
  • dantrick
    dantrick Posts: 369 Member
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    you might like www.brocode.org . good post.
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    Yes, very picky. Glad those are not my guys rules, granted some fit, but some are just whiny, :)
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Sounds reasonable enough.

    I maintain the right and or privilege to likewise itch what needs to be scratched however! : }

    That rule should cross gender boundaries.
    I hope so! I promise to wash my hands after if I have to scratch something intimate even. D:

    Well then, I'm not interested. :-P
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    I think numbers 1-1 were insightful but number 1 isn't true for all.

    I disagree. Number one goes hand in hand with number 1.

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