The Guys' Rules

24

Replies

  • _Tristan_
    _Tristan_ Posts: 221 Member
    Never gets old... and so true!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    YAY for generalizations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • LaviMc
    LaviMc Posts: 355 Member
    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

    FINALLY the guys' side of the story (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear "THE Rules" from the female side.

    Now here are the rules from the male side.

    Please note.... these are all NUMBERED "1" ON PURPOSE.

    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

    1. Sunday Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. AND NO, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one :
    Subtle Hints do not work!
    Strong Hints do not work!
    Obvious Hints do not work!
    Just say it !!!!

    1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what girlfriends are for.


    1. A headache that last for 17 months is a PROBLEM. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In Fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret Girls, DON'T Expect us to act like Soap Opera Guys!!

    1. If you think you're Fat, your probably are. DON'T ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted in TWO ways and One of the ways makes you Sad or Angry, we meant THE OTHER ONE.

    1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us How you want it done. NOT BOTH. If you already know best how to do it, JUST do it Yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and Neither do we.

    1. All men see in only 16 colours, Like WINDOWS default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.

    1. If it itches, it Will be scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "NOTHING", We will act like NOTHING's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything your wear is fine.....REALLY

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as rugby, cars or golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. ROUND is a Shape as well

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    TONIGHT; YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH
    But Did You Know Men Really Don't Mind That? It's like CAMPING.

    HILARIOUS and VERY true!!! lol
  • BigAlfrn
    BigAlfrn Posts: 173 Member
    I love this!!!
  • DIG_
    DIG_ Posts: 20
    great stuff!
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member

    1. If something we said can be interpreted in TWO ways and One of the ways makes you Sad or Angry, we meant THE OTHER ONE.

    :laugh:
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    hahaha nice ;)
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?

    Not possible...you will be in the dog house :P

    But just think of it as Camping.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?

    Not possible...you will be in the dog house :P

    It's ok - they like camping, remember?
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
    No matter how many times I've seen this list, it's still funny.
  • x_ItNeverEnds_x
    x_ItNeverEnds_x Posts: 134
    How can I give this to my wife without giving it to my wife?

    Hey honey, this is hilarious you should come read it. Done. LOL
    Camping is fun, hopefully you have a fireplace. Then you can make smores too! :D
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
    I think that 17-month headache is easily explained by the rest of these rules. I'd have a 2-year "headache" too if my guy followed these. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Beastx10
    Beastx10 Posts: 97
    THOSE AREN'T MY RULES. And I'm betting I get alot more tail than you!
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    This reads like something a guy who's really horrible with women wrote.

    True. No self-respecting man would write "TONIGHT; YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH"

    Dead giveaway
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    well, it's like Nietzsche said, Woman was god's Second big mistake.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Sounds reasonable enough.

    I maintain the right and or privilege to likewise itch what needs to be scratched however! : }

    That rule should cross gender boundaries.
    I hope so! I promise to wash my hands after if I have to scratch something intimate even. D:

    Actually, .....ermmm....nevermind.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    For the toilet seat, you aren't in any danger of falling in, so we win.

    My man was brought up to put the *lid* down. The first time I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night I darn near peed all over everything! I have gotten used to it and it is nice to never lose things in the toilet.
  • Dudagarcia
    Dudagarcia Posts: 849 Member
    Lol ???? be ready to be attacked!'!! ????
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    i had a boyfriend who liked shopping more than i did. i'd be in starbucks while he was going through stores looking for clothes. god i hate shopping
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
    Hilarious
  • journalistjen
    journalistjen Posts: 265 Member
    Yeah, I like number 1....

    the one where men are problem solvers--too true, and I'm fine with that--except my husband gets on to me because I "don't tell him things" sometimes. My answer is that I don't want him to fix my problems, I would like to vent sometimes. That kinda drives him crazy.
  • patentguru
    patentguru Posts: 312 Member
    You forgot a few:

    1. No using instant messaging to gang up on the guy. 15 women against one guy is not a fair fight.

    2. No double standard. If you get to show cleavage, wear a short dress and flirt- then the guy gets to flirt as well.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Yes, very picky. Glad those are not my guys rules, granted some fit, but some are just whiny, :)

    They are your guys rules. Trust me.

    This list is definitive. You can substitute golf, rugby, cars for whatever his main interests are. Other than that it is universal...

    If you're a generic, cardboard cut-out male then yes... yes it is true.
  • Natashaa1991
    Natashaa1991 Posts: 866 Member
    btw after reading all of your "rules" i think somebody screwed you over recently
  • SpiritGem
    SpiritGem Posts: 16
    The majority of things here honestly don't apply to my fiancé. I showed it to him, thinking he'd get a laugh, knowing he's not such a picky guy, and he was quite offended that these were put out as "rules" for all guys.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    i had a boyfriend who liked shopping more than i did. i'd be in starbucks while he was going through stores looking for clothes. god i hate shopping

    This is me. I'd be in the same clothes I wore in high school (23 yrs ago) if it weren't for my husband.
  • Brunner26_2
    Brunner26_2 Posts: 1,152
    OMG hilarious! How did you think of all this? Oh wait, you didn't. It's all over the internet. Congrats on being able to copy/paste.
  • tnjackso1
    tnjackso1 Posts: 312 Member
    can't get much plainer than that!! LOL!!
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
    all are reasonable, EXCEPT:

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    Couldn't agree more
  • MzRjS
    MzRjS Posts: 7 Member
    LMAO.... Love it!!!!!:laugh:

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