Question for ladies with families....
Replies
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I so gonna pay for this but if you "eat or starve" him be ready for problems in the marriage if you do not sit down and have a serious conversation first.0
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The general rule in our house is that you eat what is made, or you have to make your own - usually reheating leftovers. I will eat brussels sprouts when we have them since for some reason, I have 2 little boys that love them. They know that I despise them, but I eat my portion without complaint. That is the expectation for them too. Now, there are a few meals that we know one person really does not like, but others in the family really do like. In that case, we make sure that the one that doesn't like the meal has something that they really like too. If the meal isn't 'healthy' (fast food, fried food, etc.) then the snacks are fruits, veggies, yogurt, etc. This teaches them balance and responsibility in their food choices.0
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No way! This is excellent advice. You're partners!0
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You need the sign I have in my kitchen: Today's Menu...eat it or starve!
^^^^^I LOVE THIS^^^^^0 -
I say make your meals .... I agree with most of what everyone else said... "Eat it or starve" LOL
And you should have a good talk with your husband and let him know he is an example to his kids whether he likes it or not... Setting a good HEALTHY example for our children is important.... Why would you want to continue the cycle of bad health.... diabetes, heart disease? I want better for my children.... So, I cook healthy, and THAT is what we eat. Period.0 -
So there's me, my husband my 3 /12 year old son and my 1 year old daughter. My husband hates vegetables, maybe likes only 4 or 5 fruits, loves red meat and bacon and sausage, is lactose intolerant, o doesnt drink milk, but still insists on eating cheese, pasta and bread.(And hes diabetic :noway: ) my kids are starting to stick their noses up at veggies because dad does. Well, I do the shopping for the household. I do ALL of the cooking. Should I just start making meals and either him and the kids eat or they don't?? I'm sick of making different things for everyone!!!! Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated!!
For the kids I would make them eat what you make. They need to learn healthy habits and they won't if they follow dad. Kids will eat when hungry. If you give in they will never try new foods. I would make them the same meal you are eating and give it to them. If they don't want to eat it or say they aren't hungry pack it up, put it in the fridge until they ask for food, say they are hungry or ask for a snack. Than take out the meal you made at dinner for them.
Dad needs to start eating a bit better if the kids are following him. When you make things like spaghetti, puree some veggies up and add them to sauces (green pepper, onion, tomatos, carrots all work well) and they will be eating them without knowing.
If you are the one doing the shopping and cooking I would just be making one meal. If your husband doesn't like it he can go make himself something. You shouldnt' have to constantly make different things. The only time I make my husband something different is if I make something I want knowing he will not eat it (like sushi). Otherwise he will eat what is made. I guess I am lucky though as there are very few things my husband will not eat (sushi, yogurt, and mushrooms.. but he will eat mushroom if they are in something like a stir fry, lasagna, etc).0 -
The general rule in our house is that you eat what is made, or you have to make your own - usually reheating leftovers. I will eat brussels sprouts when we have them since for some reason, I have 2 little boys that love them. They know that I despise them, but I eat my portion without complaint. That is the expectation for them too. Now, there are a few meals that we know one person really does not like, but others in the family really do like. In that case, we make sure that the one that doesn't like the meal has something that they really like too. If the meal isn't 'healthy' (fast food, fried food, etc.) then the snacks are fruits, veggies, yogurt, etc. This teaches them balance and responsibility in their food choices.
^ This is fabulous!! I agree. Teach balance. And seriously... set a good example for the kiddos!0 -
My husband lays the guilt trip on me whenever I make salmon. Our kids will eat it but he refuses. For the most part I try to make something that I know everyone will like... But I get so bored with the same staples that the kids always want to eat. I switch it up and if they don't like it...tough. If hubby doesn't like it he can fend for himself.0
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Make one meal, if they don't eat, they can make their own.
That's how I learned to quit being a picky eater as a child.
Edit to add: And any grown man should know how to make his own meals.
you'd think so, but no. He was never taught how to cook ANYTHING! He cant even make toast withought burning it. It's pretty sad. His mom always taught him that's why you find a wife. Ugh. And I tried to teach him to cook. After 5 minutes he says"I don't have patience for this" and leaves.
Then the "eat it or starve" method should work well. Either he learns to eat differently (i.e. the healthy stuff you make), or learns to cook for himself (even if it's just a sandwich). You are not a cook in a diner, making meals to each person's preferences. He's a grown man; he needs to act like it.0 -
What about moderations and compromise? Turkey sausage? Whole wheat pasta and bread? Veggies that are cooked a little longer and well seasoned? Low fat cheese? lean red meat? My fiance and I have similar problems, but we compromise. I want to eat spaghetti squash spaghetti; he hates it; so we comprmise with whole wheat turkey spaghetti with tons of creole seasoning... a happy medium!
Observe the veggies that they do like... there has to be something For a long time, my man only ate sweet potatoes, mushrooms, and bell peppers. We have gradually expanded that to okra, brocolli, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach. Next up is brussell sprouts!
Our other big compromise is that he has to atleast try everything I cook with an open mind, and I try to expand my horizons and find recipes that include tasty vegetables. Because I was so dang tired of sweet potatoes, I have discovered tons of healthy recipes that both of us like. I'll be happy to share some of those with you if you like.
If you are cooking two seperate dinners... one of steamed hard brocolli and brown rice for yourself and the other a big juicy burger with extra cheese, obviously the kids are going to want dad's dinner. But what about everyone eat a burger with lean ground beef (or turkey burger) on a whole wheat bun with provolone cheese and peaches and baked sweet potato fries as a side? Maybe some yogurt for dessert? Or a fruit smoothie or homemade fruit popsickle! Ask what they want for dinner and modify it until it is healthy.
Disclaimer: I don't mean to sound like a 1950's house wife that is constantly trying to please my man.... he washes the dishes and cleans the house and I actually love to cook so it is well balanced. 0 -
I have 4 kids and they have to eat what I cook within reason. Sometimes I make a pretty spicy dish like Thai curry that's just too hot for them so I'll be sure to include rice and some meat on a stick or something fun. But in general they have to eat what I cook or not eat.
If they don't eat the meal, we cover their plate and keep it in the fridge. It's amazing how something that was "gross" becomes edible when their tummy's start grumbling.
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You need the sign I have in my kitchen: Today's Menu...eat it or starve!
*love* it..would love to have that sign..0 -
You need the sign I have in my kitchen: Today's Menu...eat it or starve!
Mine says, "love it or leave it." 0 -
My husband was extremely picky when we met and was pretty much like you describe your husband except that he didn't make a public display of turning up his nose at food. He might not have lived long if he complained about what I made for dinner! I make one meal and they eat it or they wait for the next one. We do have a few meal time rules in our house:
1. No disparaging comments about the food. The person who made it worked hard to prepare it for you so you will be polite and not say things like "Ew!" or "This is yucky!" or anything else that will make the cook want to find creative new uses for their fabulous set of Shun kitchen knives. One nice side effect of this rule is that no matter where you are they tend to follow it. So if you're at someone else's house having dinner you know your kids aren't going to carry on in an embarrassing fashion and offend your host.
2. One bite rule: you have to take one taste of everything and abide by rule one. Now I'm not an ogre so there have been exceptions to this rule. My son had a pretty bad gag reflex when he was little so mashed potatoes were kind of traumatic for him. Obviously once we realized this I didn't make him take a bite of something that was going to make him gag! Once they take the required bite they don't have to continue eating it if they don't like it but they aren't going to go make something else either.
I have three teens and an eight year old and every single one of them LOVE vegetables and have very broad food interests. They get to choose what they want for their birthday dinner. My son's is coming up and he's requested steak and zucchini. They rejoice when we have a big garden salad for dinner and they love green smoothies.
My husband is also a vegetable fan now. Not as big a fan as me and the kids but he will eat all kinds of foods that he wouldn't have touched with a ten foot pole when we got married. Even he loves green smoothies and big salads now. He got used to the type of food I make because I refused to be a short order cook and I wasn't going to tailor everything to his taste buds at the sacrifice of health.0 -
We are a family of 5 and we all eat the same dinner. They have learned to not immediately say they don't like something just by looking at it. They need to try it before deciding that! I am lucky as all 3 of my kids like veggies, chicken, beans, etc.
I tend to run into this problem more so during the day when they want a snack. I point to the fruit and yogurt which they like but if they know there are cookies in the cabinet they decide at that moment they don’t like the healthy stuff. When that happens it’s eat what I say or go hungry!0 -
What about moderations and compromise? Turkey sausage? Whole wheat pasta and bread? Veggies that are cooked a little longer and well seasoned? Low fat cheese? lean red meat? My fiance and I have similar problems, but we compromise. I want to eat spaghetti squash spaghetti; he hates it; so we comprmise with whole wheat turkey spaghetti with tons of creole seasoning... a happy medium!
Observe the veggies that they do like... there has to be something For a long time, my man only ate sweet potatoes, mushrooms, and bell peppers. We have gradually expanded that to okra, brocolli, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach. Next up is brussell sprouts!
Our other big compromise is that he has to atleast try everything I cook with an open mind, and I try to expand my horizons and find recipes that include tasty vegetables. Because I was so dang tired of sweet potatoes, I have discovered tons of healthy recipes that both of us like. I'll be happy to share some of those with you if you like.
If you are cooking two seperate dinners... one of steamed hard brocolli and brown rice for yourself and the other a big juicy burger with extra cheese, obviously the kids are going to want dad's dinner. But what about everyone eat a burger with lean ground beef (or turkey burger) on a whole wheat bun with provolone cheese and peaches and baked sweet potato fries as a side? Maybe some yogurt for dessert? Or a fruit smoothie or homemade fruit popsickle! Ask what they want for dinner and modify it until it is healthy.
Disclaimer: I don't mean to sound like a 1950's house wife that is constantly trying to please my man.... he washes the dishes and cleans the house and I actually love to cook so it is well balanced.
i can sneak him lean beef, he wont eat turkey, barely any chicken, no fish,he says he hates whole wheat breads and pasta.He won't eat sweet potatoes he wnt eat anything but potatoes or corn and only bananas, strawberries and manderin oranges. I have however got him eating dreamfields pasta as its made for diabetics and he doesnt need the extra carbs!!0 -
What about moderations and compromise? Turkey sausage? Whole wheat pasta and bread? Veggies that are cooked a little longer and well seasoned? Low fat cheese? lean red meat? My fiance and I have similar problems, but we compromise. I want to eat spaghetti squash spaghetti; he hates it; so we comprmise with whole wheat turkey spaghetti with tons of creole seasoning... a happy medium!
Observe the veggies that they do like... there has to be something For a long time, my man only ate sweet potatoes, mushrooms, and bell peppers. We have gradually expanded that to okra, brocolli, carrots, cauliflower, and spinach. Next up is brussell sprouts!
Our other big compromise is that he has to atleast try everything I cook with an open mind, and I try to expand my horizons and find recipes that include tasty vegetables. Because I was so dang tired of sweet potatoes, I have discovered tons of healthy recipes that both of us like. I'll be happy to share some of those with you if you like.
If you are cooking two seperate dinners... one of steamed hard brocolli and brown rice for yourself and the other a big juicy burger with extra cheese, obviously the kids are going to want dad's dinner. But what about everyone eat a burger with lean ground beef (or turkey burger) on a whole wheat bun with provolone cheese and peaches and baked sweet potato fries as a side? Maybe some yogurt for dessert? Or a fruit smoothie or homemade fruit popsickle! Ask what they want for dinner and modify it until it is healthy.
Disclaimer: I don't mean to sound like a 1950's house wife that is constantly trying to please my man.... he washes the dishes and cleans the house and I actually love to cook so it is well balanced.
i can sneak him lean beef, he wont eat turkey, barely any chicken, no fish,he says he hates whole wheat breads and pasta.He won't eat sweet potatoes he wnt eat anything but potatoes or corn and only bananas, strawberries and manderin oranges. I have however got him eating dreamfields pasta as its made for diabetics and he doesnt need the extra carbs!!
Oh WOW! You are dealing with a picky eater. Have you tried cooking ground turkey in place of ground beef and just lie to him about what it really is? haha A lot of people can't tell the difference... Otherwise, I think it is time for a serious talk. He needs to appreciate the fact that you are trying so hard to help your family become healthier. If he doesn't like that... he can heat up a hot dog in the microwave every single night.0 -
If he is a diabetic he really can't afford to do what he is doing. He just does not understand the seriousness of it.
As for your kids, right now they are receiving the foundation for health and future habits that will last them for the rest of their lives.
If they learn that veggies is something that can be discarded and red meat and pasta/carbs can be staples, they will struggle like us and always "fight" themselves instead of enjoying a healthy balanced lifestyle.
We love foods we had as kids! I grew up on dairy and and fat and it is a struggle for me. I am unlearning many things but going against the way you grew up feels almost like going against nature. So setting your kids healthy lifestyle foundation now is one of the best thing you can do for them as a parent. You need to make your husband understand that.0 -
I am pretty fortunate to have a nonpicky household, but in the instance something is made that someone doesn't care for, they've got the option of eating leftovers or making a sandwich. No new meals will be made! My hubby is a seasonal worker and does all of the cooking and cleaning during the winter months, I do it during the summer...fair system for us!
assuming the kids handle their request for something different this is what we do. As long as they don't throw a "ewww this is so gross" fit they can get themselves something different. I contend that as long as they are respectful "Thank you for making dinner mom, I have had my "fair shake bite" but I am really not enjoying this tonight, can I make a sandwich or will you cut up some apples for us?" I will honor that. 90% of what they eat if they do not want what I prepare has to be prepared by themselves though. My 10 year old hates to make food for herself so she will usually just eat what is in front of her.
Shoot I love asparagus but sometimes I am just not in the mood. It stares at me in the fridge for days because even though it is healthy and tasty, I am not in the mood...I end up eating something else those days. Who are we to think that just because we made something everyone should think it is awesome.0 -
As someone who did not do the right thing when my kids were young, I say stick to your guns and make healthy food for everyone. If your husband doesn't like it, he can make his own or pick around it. My husband is also now a diabetic and I partially blame it on his eating habits that he had in his twenties. My kids are 13 and 16 and it's hard to get them to eat healthier now. However, my rule now is eat what I make or make your own. And I've gotten rid of a lot of unhealthy items in the house so the options are limited to start with. My 13 year old eats his veggies like they are pills (pop one it and swallow water with it) but at least he eats them. They know that what I'm doing is not only good for me but for them as well but doesn't mean they always like it. I won't do what I've done in the past which is cook a meal for them and eat a frozen meal. That was not a long term solution.0
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I only make one meal mostly. But I take some things into consideration. My 5 year old HATES Brussels Sprouts, but he will eat broccoli. So if I make Brussels Sprouts I will make a serving of broccoli for him. I am willing to make small and reasonable concessions.0
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I had to have a talk with my husband about how he needed to suck it up and be a good example for my kids. I do try to put something in each meal to appeal a little to everyone, but generally I make what I make and if they don't eat theirs they have to forage or go hungry. We have lots of healthy-ish options in the house, and not much junk, so it isn't so bad if my son pitches his dinner and makes himself a sandwich later.
Try different methods of cooking vegetables to see if some are better-accepted than others. For example, kale in soup = yuck, but baked kale chips or crispy kale on top of pizza = omnomnom more please. Steamed Brussels sprouts = barf, oven roasted blackened Brussels sprouts = zomgdelicious.0 -
It is so difficult if your husband is so picky - mine hates wholemeal anything, (so we can't have wholemeal pasta/brown rice etc) but I'm lucky that he does like veggies - its me who hates them! Always have done - my mum used to make me sit til I'd eaten them, or threaten me with them for breakfast, and I would still refuse - we had a lot of stand offs ;-) I eat them now simply because I know they are healthy for me but loath every single mouthful and find the taste utterly disgusting and nauseating - even stuff like carrots/salad. I've yet to find a veg I enjoy, its purely a case of I need these nutrients, and I want my kids to eat well, so I force them down. My son is the same and now he's 20 he leaves them or simply asks not to have them on his plate - my daughter loves them and will eat whole bowls of veg, and the little one is in between - there are some veg she enjoys but most she really doesn't. I wish food wasn't so difficult but I'm also of the 'cook one meal' school of thought and we all have the same - its just half of us love it, the other half don't :-)0
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