Some posts on MFP are starting to concern me

LittleSpy

I suppose it's all about the definition of 'healthy' and 'unhealthy'. I just came from another post of elitist babbling about 'unhealthy eating' (which was a load of crap in my opinion) to this one and was feeling quite cranky so yeah I took offense but I know that's not the intent.

Well, yeah, there's the ultimate rub. :ohwell:
The line doesn't necessarily have to be drawn, but the relativity has to be recognized, I guess. I still do plenty of "unhealthy" things. I occasionally drink alcohol, I don't eat all organic food, I'll eat a frozen dinner for lunch if I haven't had a decent chance to prepare a healthier lunch, etc. So, yeah, many people would blast me for being unhealthy. And I get why they would, because I do do those unhealthy things. Thing is, I'm so much healthier than I used to be. The other thing is... pretty much everything we can do is "unhealthy" in one way or another. I can pull these examples from my own life -- I ate an apple instead of candy -- great, but that apple still has sugar in it -- and was it organic? Nope! So, not only did it contain sugar, but it probably contained a boat load of pesticides as well. Yum! I went for a 3 mile run -- great, but I'm really putting a lot of stress on my joints running at this weight -- total knee replacement surgery in 20 years, here I come! So.. yeah. There's all that.

I get you, I just didn't understand why you came off sounding so incredibly offended. I do now.

arewethereyet

Words can always be misconstrued, but please remember that before we speak, read a post from the perspective of YOU writing it, and get out from behind your damn defensive high horse, it's not all about you! <-- (that's sarcasm people)

:noway: yes it is


:laugh:

Resalyn

Bravo! My kids are young so I don't have this worry yet but I wanted to say good for you for being a PARENT! For checking your kids Facebook and doing so many things to keep her safe! Yeah you!! (PS That sounded a little sarcastic but it wasn't at ALL!!!! I promise!)

Thanks! It drives her nuts sometimes, especially when I post on her facebook that something is inappropriate or a picture needs to be taken down, etc. At least her friends don't cuss when they post on her wall anymore, LOL!

themethod

What about a level of membership with parental controls where a child's parent could set up a restricted account only allowing access to certain areas of the site to keep the kids away from predators? I was almost the victim of an Internet predator at 15 so this is a soft spot of mine.

imagymrat

I don't see a problem with a 17 year old using it. Especailly with a mother watching over her diary and filling her in on the logistics. I do have a problem with 13 year olds using it with no guidance though!

Better that a 13yr old reaches out for help period, instead of bashing, why not try some guidance...this just p*sses me off....you have no idea of his/her background..maybe there is NO one there for them and they are self educating, it's hard enough being a teen nowadays let alone with full grown adults judging instead of helping...IMO!

sniffles

I suppose it's all about the definition of 'healthy' and 'unhealthy'. I just came from another post of elitist babbling about 'unhealthy eating' (which was a load of crap in my opinion) to this one and was feeling quite cranky so yeah I took offense but I know that's not the intent.

I get you, I just didn't understand why you came off sounding so incredibly offended. I do now.

Yeah, it was just misplaced, compounded annoyance. Haha. I need to be more careful about what threads I read.

lisa811

I just want to comment on the teenage thing. I'm all for kids getting educated on being healthy. (My 11 year old now refuses to eat anything with trans fat in it because I told her how horrible it is.) BUT...the other part of this site (a huge part) is calculating how many calories you should eat. A teenager (well, 17 or 18 MAYBE, but not 13) does not have the same needs. I don't believe they can use the calculators here to determine their calorie needs. That's the issue I have with that idea.

What a great post! As a relative newbie, I second (or third, or fourth) the idea that this is an awesome place to learn. I've learned so much, and will never go back to my old lifestyle.

SHBoss1673

I don't see a problem with a 17 year old using it. Especailly with a mother watching over her diary and filling her in on the logistics. I do have a problem with 13 year olds using it with no guidance though!

Better that a 13yr old reaches out for help period, instead of bashing, why not try some guidance...this just p*sses me off....you have no idea of his/her background..maybe there is NO one there for them and they are self educating, it's hard enough being a teen nowadays let alone with full grown adults judging instead of helping...IMO!

I don't think I agree with this. Not the part about teens receiving guidance, I'm all for that, but IMHO, MFP or any adult focused peer forum really isn't the place for a child to be receiving guidance. That isn't to say if we find one on here we should yell at them or ban them, but I would hope that he/she would be gently guided to more teen focused environments like their school councilor or nurse (who could help them find relevant nutritional information). There's just too much bad information on here, it's hard enough for adults to sift through it all and make proper choices, I can't imagine how much worse it is for someone without the life experience. Add to that the fact that teens and children have different caloric requirements than adults anyway, and there really is no place for a child on here other than WITH a parent or guardian in a very VERY controlled teaching environment in which they are made well aware of the differences.

sonjavon

What about a level of membership with parental controls where a child's parent could set up a restricted account only allowing access to certain areas of the site to keep the kids away from predators? I was almost the victim of an Internet predator at 15 so this is a soft spot of mine.

Like I said a few pages ago - the other concern is that kids have different caloric/nutritional needs and by using this site - they could be setting themselves up for greater problems. Now... a kids MFP that calculated "nutrition" would be great! My son kind of does that on his own now... he looks at labels as well as calories and won't eat any ONE thing that is high in calories. But according to his pediatrician - he requires at least twice the number of calories as I do... I would hate for him to punch his food into MFP and have it tell him he's 1400 calories OVER... ya know?

Ideally - more adults would learn what it means to be "healthy" and transfer that knowledge to their kids. I know.... dream on... right? I can hope.....

simona1972

I haven't been here very long but wanted to add my 2 cents. I joined MFP to do this right. Would I love to lose 10lbs a week? Sure. Would I risk my health to do that? No way!

I will say that I am bothered by posts from people looking for a quick fix but I know that we all learn from that eventually. I'm more bothered by posts of people who are always trying to sell something. But I figure I'm here to learn from those who are successful at doing this the way I also want to do it - the rest I can learn to ignore.

I think in a setting like this there will always be the people looking for the big loss in the shortest amount of time possible. We live in a world of instant gratification. We've come to expect the same when it comes to weight loss. There are days when I actually have to tell myself that I didn't put it on in a week and it won't come off in a week either. Slow and steady for best results

themethod

What about a level of membership with parental controls where a child's parent could set up a restricted account only allowing access to certain areas of the site to keep the kids away from predators? I was almost the victim of an Internet predator at 15 so this is a soft spot of mine.

Like I said a few pages ago - the other concern is that kids have different caloric/nutritional needs and by using this site - they could be setting themselves up for greater problems. Now... a kids MFP that calculated "nutrition" would be great! My son kind of does that on his own now... he looks at labels as well as calories and won't eat any ONE thing that is high in calories. But according to his pediatrician - he requires at least twice the number of calories as I do... I would hate for him to punch his food into MFP and have it tell him he's 1400 calories OVER... ya know?

I am in agreement with you on this one. I don't think MFP is appropriate for children. What I'm saying is that if a parent really wants thier child to be on here, a restricted access membership might be a better idea. For instance, the calorie goals would be inaccurate, but the nutritional food content database would be applicable.

P.S. Sorry if formatting is messed up. I'm replying from my phone.

cbnorris

Great topic! Lots of good conversation brought to mind three points in this thread with Suggestions for Mike:bigsmile: :


1) People are always going to post about quick and easy weight loss - I think the problem stems from the ones who reply to those posts by encouraging that behaviour. It would be hard to moderate those opinions but ... Suggestion for Mike: maybe it would be helpful to have a short paragraph up front - on the homepage and/or maybe on the community landing page that talks about how the goal of MFP is to help promote healthy lifestyle and nutrtion goals and to support one another by encouraging those behaviours that will sustain those goals for the long term. Just to set the tone

The other side of that is that when people first come on to MFP - they don't know who "the experts" are. I see a lot of people on MFP who state information as if it is fact when in reality - I know it's not.

2) Suggestion for Mike: Maybe rather than Moderators, he could set up a category of MFP Mentors where that title could show on their avatar. These would be folks who have been around for at least 1 year and have a history of solid advice or background - apply and be granted Mentor status by Mike.

**I've especially noticed a disturbing trend with my friends. When someone logs in and it says they were "under their calorie goal," they receive lauds and accolades. I thought the idea was to remain within a few calories of your goal, and that eating healthily was the main objective. It seems that we're promoting calorie deficits.

3) I like the Newsfeed status updates, but ....Suggestion for Mike: perhaps the wording needs a little tweeking "paddlemom completed her food and exercise diary for 03/24/2010 and was with her target calorie range" or "paddlemom completed her food and exercise diary for 03/24/2010 and may need some encouragement to stay with her target calorie range"

BTW Huge thanks to all those who have stuck around this site for the long term to provide their support and wisdom. I know it has made a huge difference for me - kind of like belonging to a family :flowerforyou:

I'm new here. (Though it says I have been here since October, I have not really been serious until this past week and am determined to make this a lifestyle change more than anything.) I am not one of those people who have tried everything. I've never cut carbs, did liqiud diets, subsribe to Jenny Craig, join Weight Watchers, take laxatives or anything of the nature. In fact, I've never really cared about what I ate until recently because though I was bigger than what I would have liked to be, I was never really unhappy. Sure I'd have days where I'd be like "oh I look fat in this" or critisize pictures of myelf, but overall I was content. Once I started creeping up to the 200s, eventually landing at 205, this changed. Holy cow the doctor has to move the "big bar" 4 times now. Suddenly, I don't like looking at myself in the mirror anymore, no matter what I am wearing and I dread it when out with friends and they want to take a picture.

So this is really my first real attempt to lose weight. I'm exercised before, but I've never watched what I've ate. This place has helped me do that and learn that its not about eating as little calories as possible, but eating the right kinds of foods and enough calories to fuel your body. A few days ago I was congragulating myself for having over eaten 900 calories that day, now I know that is not enough, and if I exercise that day, I need to up it even more.

Saturday I started taking a perscription drug called adipex after a coworker said how awesome it was. Between last Thursday and this past Monday I had already lost 3 pounds, and I thought that was awesome. The more I read on this site, the more I realize that may not be what is best for me. I do enjoy the energy I have (though I am not sure if it's the pill, the fact that I've eliminated sodas, how I've added more veggies and fruit, or a combination of all), but I do not want to take it for a long period of time. I think after this month's prescription runs out I will stop, maybe before then. I know many people on here are against pills, but are they ever useful? I love this kick start and energy boost, but am I going to wind up hurting my goals in the end?

arewethereyet

as I am reading this Paula Dean is advertising the real woman of philly cream cheese across the top:laugh:

lisawest

First, I have also noticed the trend towards fads and quick fixes. I've tried to post links to the "newbie" posts, but I admit to not doing it nearly as often lately. The stickied posts helped me tremendously and I am thankful to everyone who did the research, boiled it down, and posted it in an easy to understand format.

What about a level of membership with parental controls where a child's parent could set up a restricted account only allowing access to certain areas of the site to keep the kids away from predators? I was almost the victim of an Internet predator at 15 so this is a soft spot of mine.

Like I said a few pages ago - the other concern is that kids have different caloric/nutritional needs and by using this site - they could be setting themselves up for greater problems. Now... a kids MFP that calculated "nutrition" would be great! My son kind of does that on his own now... he looks at labels as well as calories and won't eat any ONE thing that is high in calories. But according to his pediatrician - he requires at least twice the number of calories as I do... I would hate for him to punch his food into MFP and have it tell him he's 1400 calories OVER... ya know?

I am in agreement with you on this one. I don't think MFP is appropriate for children. What I'm saying is that if a parent really wants thier child to be on here, a restricted access membership might be a better idea. For instance, the calorie goals would be inaccurate, but the nutritional food content database would be applicable.

P.S. Sorry if formatting is messed up. I'm replying from my phone.

As for this subject, I have done a bit of research about this topic because I've had some students at school that have asked what I'm doing to lose weight. I did not feel it was appropriate to recommend this site to 7th, 8th and 9th graders, so I did some research about nutrition guides for kids. Here is a link to the website I liked best: http://www.mypyramidtracker.gov/
It is on the USDA's food pyramid website. Check it out for younger kids. It's not as detailed as MFP, but it gives you a place to start.

kelli_panzera

I want to thank everybody who was supportive of me after reading my earlier post. I try not to bash, and i've got to say that I really felt like bashing today. I was reading posts from youngsters (who are on their way to eating-disorder city) and yes, when you see pics of a person who is still in their teens who look like they're suffering from anorexia asking for a way to lose "just 5 more pounds" it makes me wonder...where is their support system? The people who love and want the best for them? My daughter has a MySpace account. I monitor it, and I have set parental blocks on websites and on our computer network. My oldest is almost 15, with the body and attitude of a 25 year old. And the mentality of a 10 year old. I have tried to set rules about healthier eating, and talk to my kids every day about what went on at school, their friends, and everything I can squeeze into a conversation. Even if i'm at work, I call to get the update. I want them to know i'm involved in everything- from reading food labels to babysitting their posts on the internet
I am not concerned with the politics of who belongs here or not...though I would love for people to read the threads with the sticky tabs before posting the same old crap over and over again. Some days when I see another thread about exercise calories I just want to throw my computer through a window, LOL!! I don't want or expect everybody to get along, it wouldn't be right if we did. I think everyone is entitled to an opinion, and if you don't want someone to disagree with you, don't post. Pretty easy, huh? As an example, I enjoy Banks' posts immensely, and if he responds in a more clinical manner, some people get all bent out of shape and feel like their being attacked. Why be so defensive? It's an opinion and more often then not, an opinion with more than a little factual information thrown in. Good lord, i'm long winded today! Okay, getting down off the high horse now...you guys enjoy your day!!

DeeDeeLHF

A few people in my life have recently lost large amounts of weight quickly. It hurt a bit when they got all the attention for their weight loss and few noticed mine, when i know i'm doing it the proper way, but what do you do (i did not let it get me down and it hasn't changed anything i have done). I hope in a year I'll be the one being asked what i am doing... while that person has either figured out the right way to keep it off or has gained it back. I find short term fast loss SCARY.

I dont want to sound snarky.......but you will have lost and kept off your weight, and they will have regained it. Period.

How many pounds have I lost in my life? 10 in 2 weeks........bam, that dress fit! Yeah! oh wait......20 pound back in 2 months?:noway:

That is exactly how I went from 105 to 175.........10 pounds lost, 20 gained....over and over and over again until I was not moving from the couch, had to roll out of bed and the pharmacuetial companies were getting RICH off of me.

I will take slow and easy (:blushing: in many different ways):laugh:

The fact that I have not only lost the 30 I wanted to, but continue to get healthier, is proof positive that it works!!

Me too Jeannie...I went from 112 to 183 mostly because i was on a diet!!! Slimfast, Cabbage, Atkins, etc. DD
I am agreeing with much of this. But I forget who said it but I agree with the person who said that she hopes the experts keep teaching even if you feel like you have said it 100 times. I have been around for over a year and I have learned so much from all of you! I am so grateful that no one was burned out when I came on. I am far from perfect but as time permits I try to respond at random to newer posters. I usually tell them to do Searches for names like Banks, SHBoss, Tamtastic, arewethereyet, kerrilucko, etc. and I love to pass Expectations on to newbies. Banks that post was one of the best!

It has taken me 5 years to lose 53 pounds...I would not win any medals with that one but I have been successful in keeping it all off. I have had me best results when I joined MFP and was able to receive the wisdom of others to teach me, motivate me, and give me courage to persevere!

Thanks guys!!

AJCM

YES - i shudder when i see a thread with 'cleanse' in the title and then get frustrated when i hear some poster say 'o no, that's an unsafe cleanse, but THIS cleanse I am doing is sooo much safer'.

Good point.

And keep in mind that people might just be selling those very 'cleanse' products, so there might be a vested interest in convincing people that the cleanse is 'healthy'.

Just putting that out there.

KimbersNewLife

I agree. I also don't like the people on here telling people to give up bread or whatever. What does that accomplish? You lose weight but are you supposed to do without bread for the rest of your life? I agree we should try for whole grain choices and those that have fiber in them but are you really supposed to give up an entire food group (the one you're supposed to get most of your cals from) for the rest of your life?
[/quote
You are so right!! I am litterally get angry at people who argue with me at work and even friends who are like-- Why are you eating a tortilla-- It's white--- don't eat that potato they are really bad for you and I'm Like "really??" are you for real. I keep telling everyone I know the reason this is working for me is Yes I know that fiber and whole grains are good and I am all for them but I also know that the reason no other diet works for me and this has is because if I want something I can have it and I do not have to feel like a failure and give up!! And don't get me started on my potato argument. I love MFP for teaching me it is normal to eat these thing in moderation and still loose weight that is key for me!!

LJCannon

I think of MFP the same way I think of Church. I do not bring guests with me to Church to make them change their ideals to mine.
Rather I hope they will hear something that changes them. Maybe to help others, or to be a better parent.....or just know they are loved.

So MFP is like that for me. If there are people here who think they can lose 10 pounds in a week, the reality will hit them soon enough. Our posts showing people like Kerriskinnyasslucko lost 50 pounds and looks HOT over a long period of time and is KEEPING it off.......that is the best lecture of all.

I love to jump into a thread on here and tally up the weight loss........and maintaining of same........of all the MFP peeps!!

This is EXACTLY how I feel!! You can't force someone to change, but you can wait for them to realize they NEED what you know. (in the case of Church, it would be WHO you know). It must be that you took my thought because you have my Name:laugh:




So let them come........we are here to show them how it should be done and help them in their journey to make life altering changes.

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

cardigirl

Bumping to read later. Thank you SHBoss. Another thought provoking thread and discussion.