Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
Replies
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Also didn't read all the replies:
But I think that there can be a compromise. Buy him the kind of food he likes and get yourself the food you like. I know its kind of hard sometimes, but we wives can't force our husbands into our lifestyle changes. I make my dinner separate from what I make my kids and hubby. And when he came up with some Recces pieces ice cream and asked me to take a bite, bet your behind I did! As long as you don't let him derail you from your goals, its ok to share once in awhile.0 -
the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
Yes!!0 -
agree 100%. Compromise isn't difficult. They're both just being rude to eachother.Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.
I eat a good deal healthier than my SO. However, I buy him the things he likes. Just like if he's at the grocery store he gets what I like.
It's simple. Really .0 -
I wouldn't buy food, he's on his own for the rest of the week.
*life
If he doesn't want to eat healthy he knows where the kitchen is! He sounds very childish.0 -
the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
this.. 100%0 -
I made it through 7 pages of angry wives. I call that a victory :huh:
LOL at everyone suggesting sending him to the store to buy his own food. Early in the marriage, I let my husband go to the store a few times. Every time he was $100-150 over budget and forgot stuff on the list. Never again. I'd rather just buy milk for him and almond milk for me.
OP: Its about compromise. He was out of line. In his defense, unless this type of outburst/behavior is the norm for him, I'd say you were missing out on some subtle or not-so-subtle hints. Replace your food; buy his food too. Exhibit self-control and don't eat his yummies. 'Nuff said.
I learned 8 years ago not to mess with my man's food. Good luck.
And as a side note: never in 8 years of our relationship has my husband ever been "made" to sleep on the couch -- or in a car! Its his damn bed! I don't even know how that conversation works. If I tried to tell my husband to sleep on the couch he'd laugh in my face and go to sleep... while hogging the covers.0 -
The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.
There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.
What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?
How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?
How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.
If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.
Whilst I agree completely about violence is NEVER acceptable i have to take issue with the rest of this message! "Cook him what he wants or he'll leave you"?! Er, is this the 50s? He can cook for himself! If he doesn't want what's on offer then he can whistle for it, he's not incapable. When I cook I make a bigger portion for my other half, that is no extra work but I'm not cooking him a different meal! Like somebody else said, I'm not a waitress!0 -
He should of talked to you about a issue that he may of had at the beginning of this change. He seemed like he was trying and then just snapped from not talking to you about it. It is good for you to want to change your habit but changing it all at once and having him change without him really wanting to isn't a good way to go. Just find a common ground for both of you. Make it where he is happy and you are happy. That you both have it the way you guys both want.0
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In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
^ I agree with this.
It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...
Ha. This.
I buy some things I know my husband likes. He'll eat whatever I cook for him and I"ll eat whatever he cooks for me. Nothing is unhealthy in my book and part of my lifestyle change is learning to ENJOY any food I want and to have it in moderation. Furthermore...I'm not going to keep stuff out of the house and force him to live by my every need if he doesn't want to.
That being said....you're husband lost it and it was out of line to toss out your food...I would go back out, buy all you need, and buy things you know he wants/likes. It is then also YOUR responsibility to have control and not eat things you know you don't really want...if there are certain things you know you absolutely can't keep in the house cuz you'll go crazy eating it all, obviously don't go and buy that...but give him a bit.
You can't expect someone else to just change for you cuz you are....Just not how it works...or well if you want it to go smoothly.0 -
The thing is he still wants HER to make him his food. Ugh, no. If he wants to eat that way he can cook his own crappy food.0
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Tell him to stop acting like an overgrown man child and learn how to cook for himself. If he wants to eat all his own things, he can buy them and make room in the fridge for yours. He's acting extremely selfish and needs to learn that his attitude is benefiting anyone.
Go get a lawyer lol.0 -
Husband has complained about having the same meals over n over....Yet he NEVER cooks or has any say in the list when I go.
So I frankly told him...YOU shop, YOU cook. He started to have more say in what we eat lol
I can understand he wants his food YET he went about it in the wrong way.... If my husband EVER put his card on the table to tell me to go buy something by the time he gets back or so on... I would cut that BIA up and go re-buy my food and leave him on his own until he can settle himself down.0 -
They both sound childish.I wouldn't buy food, he's on his own for the rest of the week.
*life
If he doesn't want to eat healthy he knows where the kitchen is! He sounds very childish.0 -
I can't believe some of the posts here, wow. IMO, if the wife is the one doing the grocery shopping and cooking, then she is free to buy as she pleases. If he doesn't like what is bought, he knows where the grocery store is and can either go along with her and be a team, or go by himself and get what he would like to have. In my house it's not "eat it or starve", it's "eat it or make your own" . I have an 11 month old that I want to learn healthy eating habits before he knows what junk is. If my fiance wants junk, he can eat it while he's at work, or at other people's houses and keep it out of ours. And in my experience 90% of the time, he eats what i make and loves it despite all of the complaining.0
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Personally, I agree with the people who indicate there should be room for compromise here. Let's say a family has been eating meat all along and the cook of the family suddenly decides to go vegan. No, not right. This is a family and things have to be worked out together...everybody gives a little.
But my concern goes beyond this. there can be a lot of sabotage from family and friends who actually fear having a loved one change. You might resolve this issue about your new regimen only to see that even if he has all the kinds of foods he wants, he throws up other obstacles. and then you've got a real problem that calls for counseling.0 -
He sounds like he's afraid of letting go of his 'comfort food'& his 'comfort bride'. My hubby was reluctant for awhile ( mine is a big man though but still) Your man is afraid of losing the woman he is used to. The foods might be his anger as well, but it sounds psychological to me. Can you afford a small seperate fridge and put you r foods seperate from his? I think it's drastic to him, involving him in part of it and more slowly might be key..my hubby is liking the results...your hubby will come around. I wish you all the best.0
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the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
Bahhahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
That's tough...I just buy my food and eat it...then buy the rest of the family what they like...including some unhealthy chips and cookies...most nights they eat spaghetti or tacos and i eat a salad if the meal does't meat my diet requirements....so far it goes well.... I would just talk with him...and understand where he is coming! but make him know how much you want to change too!0
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If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!0 -
Throwing out the food is wasteful and childish! I can understand that he's upset because he doesn't want to completely change his eating habits...but to rage out like that. It's not alright.
There has to be a compromise. My husband and I work around two different diets. Sometimes I give in and some days he gives in. We take turns cooking and will try and tailor the meal a little bit to it suits our eating habits.0 -
Mutual respect. It seems to be gravely missing here. You should not force your husband to eat what you want to eat no more than you want him to force his nachos on you. You aren't working, would it really be that difficult to make him what he wants and make yourself what you want? I work 40 hours each week, go to the gym 3-4 times per week, do the laundry, pay the bills, clean the house etc. And I still manage to fix my husband what he likes for dinner and something for myself I can eat. It is not hard. You just have to make him a priority in addition to your health.
Hang on - she cooked diner for him, nobody made him eat it. If it is too 'healthy' or there isn't enough he could always eat more of it.
The fact is that she has bothered to cook a meal and he, even though he knew this brought some takeaway in the house instead. Cooking two separate meals is so much more expensive than cooking for one. Even if the OP stayed at home and didn't go to a job (which it seems she doesn't, she has a job too) - she has an 'unpaid' job as housewife, which is just as hard as going out to work.
Even if he hadn't flipped out it an angry way, it seems he lacks both grace and any semblance of manners.
If someone cooks a homecooked meal for you, which by that fact alone will be far nicer than any takeway, you should eat it, finish your plate smile, say thankyou and if you are still hungry, see if there is any second helpings - if not have a bit of bread and butter to put you on.
Its basic good manners.0 -
I'm sorry, but that post made me laugh. That has been my TEENAGERS. They hate health food. They say I'm crabby (which, yeah, I probably am), blah blah blah.
As long as he's paying for it, buy for you and buy for him.0 -
Man that's awful! It would have scared the heck out of me for my husband to flip out like that. It seems to me that something much more is bothering him. .
This.0 -
I'm sorry, but that post made me laugh. That has been my TEENAGERS. They hate health food. They say I'm crabby (which, yeah, I probably am), blah blah blah.
As long as he's paying for it, but for you and buy for him.
Well at least you can say "either you eat it or you go to be hungry" to them - they dont earn a wage, they dont get a choice.0 -
I know exactly how you feel, I enjoy "healthy food" and have always been eager to incorporate new ideas and recipes into my menu. My husband is generally a great supporter of the cause but sometimes he does get a little frustrated with all the healthy stuff. So what I do is compromise a little. I will have a splurge day with him. That way he gets his food fix and everyone is happy.
Keep up the good work and do not be discouraged by your husband's cravings for bad stuff. He will appreciate it later down the road.0 -
This journey is much easier when everybody in the family is on the same page. I agree, it was over the top for him to approach this the way he did .. throwing that stuff out made no sense... At the same time, as one other person said, the best way to deal with this (as in any relationship) is COMPROMISE... This compromise, however, should not be one sided... There is no reason you cannot have 2% milk AND whole milk in the fridge... Just because you have yogurt should not mean that YOU have to eat it... He should not force anything down your throat that YOU don't want.. and by the same token, making things available that HE enjoys would be an acceptable compromise. In most cases, what is wrong is not the food choices though... Usually when things show up like this, it only reveals relationship problems that are already there.. the food is not the problem... However, getting to what the REAL problem is, will be necessary for your relationship to flourish.
^^THIS... at least in theory. The real world is often stranger than fiction. I only read the 1st page of posts, but I didn't see any indication that she discussed these changes with him beforehand; rather, it seems like she (gradually) forced these changes upon him. Es no bueno and I doubt she would've liked him doing similar to her. Hopefully, they can come together and discuss it like ADULTS and focus on 'where to go from here' rather than being stuck in 'what happened then'.
Good luck, OP!0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!0 -
:blushing: I got trampled by all the soon-to-be-divorced-women who think it's their way or the highway!In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?
If my husband were to yell at me because he doesn't like what I cook (and then did not immediately proceed to apologize) then I'd gladly be divorced. Yelling at the person you supposedly love is NOT COOL.
Really, if this guy was so unhappy over it, why didn't he bring it up earlier? Why did he do something so childish as to throw all the food away? He could have gotten what he wanted without trying to upset the OP, just by bringing it up and saying what he needed. Or heck, even DO HIS OWN GROCERY SHOPPING! It's not like men have their hands painted on.
At my house, I'm lowering my calorie intake and the hubs is doing Atkins. I do the grocery shopping, then we each prepare our own meals. He actually used to do 75% of the cooking, so it's more work for me in the long run. I don't yell at him, though; why would I? I love the guy.0 -
If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to
i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
Forcing your food on everyone else is a lot bit selfish...who cares if he brings junk in the house if he's not overweight and about to croak from one more cookie...sounds like to me you just need learn self discipline so you only eat what you should...i buy my fiance junk food and he eats snacks everyday, but when I go in the pantry I choose not to eat them bc I buy my own snacks or fruit...but guess what if I want a cookie from his pack I'mma eat it and it won't be the end of the world...smh...some of these quotes I'm reading make me wonder if or how some women even have a man...first step in being healthy and controlling your weight is controlling your mind...
ok, but my husband is over weight, and, due to my food changes in the house, his blood pressure has gone from 168/97 to 131/83 in a matter of 3 months. like i said, i dont have the same problem as the op, my husband wouldnt throw a fit like that, because he knows that i have our entire families best interest at heart. and if he did have a problem, i still wouldnt change, because im not going to contribute to his early death while i make myself healthy. thats it. thats how my family works, and it works for us.
You treat your husband like a child. He is a grown man with the free will to make his own choices, healthy or not.
What you are doing is demeaning and disrespectful to the head of your household.
Women wonder why men cheat on them............ because of things like this!!
i am the head of my household. different families, different dynamics. and, ok, if me only buying good healthy food for me and my husband is disrespectful, so be it. he'll live. but so far, hes not complaining, so i dont know why you are.
byw, free will doesnt give someone the green light to do anything they want. we have 5 children in this home that need to have 2 healthy parents, and a good foundation for healthy eating habits. he has all day that he can jump from fast food drive through to donut shop, but at home, in this house, this is the way it is.0 -
He sounds like an *kitten*. Good luck with that.
PS. Learn to spell.
Thanks.0
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