Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

julesxo

Maybe he is just really frustrated and doesn't want to eat your food? Not that I agree with the way he treated you, at all. I would recommend he goes and gets his own.

My partner got annoyed at first when I was buying what I liked to eat, now we just buy our own foods when we grocery shop together. I was hoping that I could get him to eat better but at the end of the day, he's an adult who has to make his own choices when it comes to food.

BlueInkDot

He can buy his own f*cking food.
Don't cook a damn thing for him - don't give him any booty - make him sleep on the couch or OUTSIDE.
This kind of behavior is UNACCEPTABLE.
I would have punched him square in the jaw and given him a "HOW DARE YOU..." speech.
Oh, even better, Throw a bunch of HIS stuff out - maybe a cd collection or dvd collection and see how HE feels. What a jerk!

Because a guy who works almost double a normal work day has time for all that stuff and deserves to be hit and abused when he gets home.
That's wonderful advice. Maybe you should write a self-help book for men.

Yea that was bad advice. No hitting. A how dare you speech maybe, but yea... that's a bad idea. #nodomesticabuseplz

patentguru

Testosterone. Let him cool off. If he is decent on the inside-he will regret what he did and make up for it. Otherwise, time for battle.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

Thank yu, We decided that I would stay home with my son. But I didn't state that here but its in my profile that someone went to then commented. Like I said in the title it was my food, maybe I should have stated more in the initial post but hey what can r you do. My husband is not abusive actually this surprised me because usually he doesn't talk much. I was being inconsiderate aftera long talk he said the reason he brought the food home was show me how he felt. It blown out of control he told me that it wasn't his intention. but I do tell if he eat what I cook he have to reseason it. It's regular table salt amongst other seasonings in my home. We both was being selfish. When I was working I barely cook because I worked 12 hour days so he became use to all the fast food we was eating. This is an adjustment for the both of us.

The OP and her husband have worked, or are in process of working, out their differences with nutrition. She admits her mistakes, and he admits his.

Can the abuse advocates stop telling her to hit him now?

cebreisch

Tell him to buy his own food - and while he's at it - why not get another apartment to boot! LOL

But seriously, tell him if he wants that crap, he can buy it himself, and designate a spot in the kitchen for "Hubby's crap" so you won't have to look at it or be tempted by it.

My husband didn't "get on board" with me until I had been on MFP and losing weight for about 6 months. Now he's a skinny thing, but he still eats reasonably healthy. He said he didn't realize all the stuff he was having that he thought wasn't so bad was really that bad.

I also have a "snack box" - it has protein bars, baggies of pretzels, fiber bars, and the like. It's right next to the dorm fridge in our Laundry room that also has yogurt and string cheese. That way if I want a healthy snack, I know where I can go without getting tempted by all the other stuff in the kitchen. If you do that, then he can have the fridge loaded with all the crap he wants, and you can have your dorm fridge all to yourself! LOL

THe other thing I do is: I don't necessarily deprive myself of things like buffalo chicken wings or chocolate cake. I don't keep it in the house because if I do, I'll eat it all. I will however plan it into my lunch for the week. I LOVE QUESO. So periodically, I'll go to Don Pablo's and order the kid size bowl of queso, and count out my 8 tortilla chips and go to town. That way I can "get my fix" in a more controlled setting. That could be something to bring up to him. Tell him if he wants that crap, he can go out and get it during lunch or something so long as it isn't in the house.

Let him know though that you're doing this for you, and would like him to be more supportive.

For what it's worth - and good luck!!

sunsnstatheart

An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.

... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it


I don't understand why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior, even if she does not work outside the home. In fact it does not seem to even be on the same level here. Unemployed, stay at home mom, housewife, whatever, there is still no excuse for a grown man to act like that. What the HECK does that have to do with anything? Seriously? I DO agree with compromise, but if my husband threw a fit similar to that of my TWO year old, I'd be either frightened, enraged, or both. Grown men should act their age. Besides I didn't read everything, but did she SAY she "didn't work"?

ANYWAY, my husband is very much on board with my healthy lifestyle, but he still buys his chips. and some other "junk food". I just don't eat it. I eat my healthy food, and it's up to him whether or not he does. He was more into healthy eating than I was for the longest time, so we're good.

Thank yu, We decided that I would stay home with my son. But I didn't state that here but its in my profile that someone went to then commented. Like I said in the title it was my food, maybe I should have stated more in the initial post but hey what can r you do. My husband is not abusive actually this surprised me because usually he doesn't talk much. I was being inconsiderate aftera long talk he said the reason he brought the food home was show me how he felt. It blown out of control he told me that it wasn't his intention. but I do tell if he eat what I cook he have to reseason it. It's regular table salt amongst other seasonings in my home. We both was being selfish. When I was working I barely cook because I worked 12 hour days so he became use to all the fast food we was eating. This is an adjustment for the both of us.

It sounds like you really just needed to vent and that you and your husband have a solid relationship. My hat is off to both of you and I'm sure you can work out something that works. My wife is also a former career woman who came home and, yes, that adjustment took some time. I'm very lucky to have her as I'm sure your husband is very lucky to have you! Good luck! :drinker:

gfiorine

Obviously very immature. I'm sure he was upset about not having his favorite foods around, and I understand that. However, it sounds like he is the kind that stews and pouts about this and doesn't communicate until he blows up and act irrational. He needs to figure out a way to communicate. On the other hand, it sounds like he had no choice in this matter. I may be wrong, but it sounds like suddenly his entire menu at home was turned upside down. I can understand the wife wanting to be healthy and wanting to cook healthy for her, however, he doesn't need to be forced into this himself. Marriage is a partnership, so if you decide to go off and do something, you need to communicate and find out how it works best for you and your partner. And finally, he put down his debit card...get your healthy food back, but bring him back some milk and cookies too! ;-)

lbigham1

I can definately relate. I sometimes have the same problem with my husband. My solution is, I tell him what I'm planning to cook and offer to fry his or make him white rice instead of brown, etc. I don't want to force anything on him just like i don't want him to try to force anything on me (girl scout, cookies, fritos, etc.). So, when I go shopping I buy some of the things I know he likes but I also by substitutes for myself. - Good luck love.

P.S. - If you need support, there are plenty of people who are more than willing to be there. :flowerforyou:

bpwparents

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to

There needs to be a happy medium here. All one way or another is just selfish. Being a family involves being considerate of the WHOLE family. That being said, I do not have the time to cook seperate meals for everyone. Most nights I do have something on the healthier side for dinner that everyone has. I don't go overboard. I use less calories during my daytime meals that are only for myself. The kids have their seperate breakfasts and lunches as does my husband. I only make my kids and my lunches. As for dinner if they want something that I don't want, like macaroni and cheese and hot dogs, I will either have a salad or have something simple I can make just for me. These actions remove the drama from my life. I'm the one with a weight problem, not my husband. I still have his ice cream in the house but I buy a kind that he and the kids like so I'm not tempted. There are ways to keep everyone happy and not drive yourself crazy.

BeepRocks

I am eating a lot healthier also......everyone else in house eats what they want because they are thin....we never were junky eaters but they do like their snacks and sweet tea and coke. I buy my things and I buy things they love.....I don't mind making their dinner and then mine. I don't have a problem with having junk food in the house because I had to make food an object and not the enemy. Is funny that when I cook my dinner, they all want some and to try it, so they all have gradually changed. I do throw in mashed potatoes for them, etc. and I have the will power to say no. To much change at once can be overwhelming. He doesn't have a problem so he feels like he is suffering. I hope this helps. good luck

Nikki_42

How disrespectful of him. I'm sorry. That's awful. Tell him to go buy his own "real food."

He did. And wanted to share with his wife. Who's been feeding him crap in the name of "health food" for months. I don't know about you but I sure don't want to be in a relationship where my wife and I eat separately every time because my wife is on some fad diet again and feels insecure about her weight...

Feels insecure about her weight? We're all on a fitness site, so we all feel some way about our weight. Don't project though, she didn't say anything about feeling insecure, just getting healthy.

You don't have to eat separately to eat different meals. He can have a burger and she can have a salad or whatever at the same table. I do agree, physically eating separately would be unproductive to maintaining a decent relationship and communication.

RushBabe214

The lack of marital respect in this thread is mind-boggling.

There are women on here advocating violence (slapping him, kicking him, hitting, etc.). Junk punches, hitting with anything, even a debit card, is violence. It shouldn't be advocated against anyone. The sheer number of women who advocate hitting a spouse is shocking.

What if guys got on here and started advocating that the husbands "junk punch" their wives or that the next time the wife buys the wrong thing that the guy slap her and make her sleep on the couch? Seriously? Do you really abuse your husbands at home, or do you just brag about it online?

How many of you would be fighting each other to be first in line to lynch any guy who even made such a suggestion that it was appropriate to lay hands on a woman in an inappropriate manner?

How much trouble is it really to feed the person in the house who generally eats 1.5 to 2 times what you eat? My husband eats around 3000 calories. Of course I make him extra food. He'd starve on my diet.

If you're in charge of the cooking, don't be a dictator. Be a considerate human being and feed your spouse what he needs/wants to eat along with the healthy stuff. Otherwise, if he does find someone who will cook what he wants, and who will be considerate of him and won't get on the net and brag about what a whipped guy he is, you women who do this will know why.

^^ This post should be quoted repeatedly. Bravo!

:drinker:

skinnyinnotime

the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"

Excellent response!

newdaydawning79

Let's be fair, Mrs Dash IS disgusting, and regular salt is so much healthier...

The heck is Mrs. Dash anyways?

It's a mishmash of random spices that generally have no business being mixed together. Basically, take every single spice in your spice cabinet, throw it into a bowl together, and you have Mrs Dash. It's the stuff that people who have no idea how to cook use in order to pretend they have a clue.

I actually use it occasionally and like it. I never use salt - out of preference, not because of any dietary thing, I just don't like it. I also know how to cook, I'm actually quite decent at it. But I have the shaker and toss a little onto a turkey burger or something sometimes when I'm in the mood. Depends on what other spices I have handy and feel like using between grocery trips!

TigressPat

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

^ I agree with this.

It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...

I agree.
why do so many of you feel it is ok to impose your will on others?
It's the same thing as if he bought the nachos, and said "eat them, or I'll throw you out".

Fine, he didn't deal with it in adult manner, but it sounds like he has been suffering and enduring in silence for your benefit for a while without you even noting that he's making a sacrifice.

fine, you do the shopping, but if he's paying for your groceries as well as other things, I do not see why a man with no weight issues has to starve because you are overweight.
Losing weight isn't just about healthy choices, it's about having the willpower to stick to your convictions. Not expecting the rest of the world to CONFORM.
There's no reason he should have to eat "diet" food anymore than you should have to eat his fattening junk.
and I don't see any reason he can't have his own foods along with yours in the fridge. You are acting just as childishly if you refuse to buy food for him because he doesn't want to eat "diet" food.

lowpro1983

the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"

^^^^ first impression is this!!!

This is a tough one - my bf seems to eat whatever I buy....when I buy unhealthy junk, he eats it. When I buy fruits, he eats them. Maybe he's just not hard to get along with? Either way, when he wants to eat something....if I don't buy it, he will ASK for it.

He should be supportive - but that doesn't mean he will follow your eating and exercise habits. Maybe you should both come up with a grocery list together...or GO together? That way, each of you get what you want. Compromise.

Why would someone be an *kitten* about you wanting to live a healthier life??? Maybe he just had a bad day....sorry to you bc I know it hurt your feelings! Keep your head up and don't get discouraged on your own journey!!!

joolzeva

i would suggest compromise and clever disguises ...

i am a vegetarian and my husband who 'doesnt like veg' and is '100% meat eater' and he has no idea that he has been vegetarian for 6/7 days a week for the last 25yrs,

once a week he has a steak and (mostly) vegetable pie, and he is oh so very proud of his pies, he makes them for himself, he buys the meat, marinades it to his flavour choice, and makes 8 once every 2 months, i just make and cut out the pastry for him, and then pop them into the freezer - this satisfies his need for 'proper food'

TigressPat

In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to

If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.

i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...

Wow, you're quite the catch, aren't you? I can tell you one thing for sure, if my wife EVER referred to OUR house as HER house, she would very soon be sending me child support payments. Marriage is a two way relationship, you sound ridiculously selfish and self absorbed. You're right though, you're not a waitress, just a selfish dictator. Don't worry, though, your husband and kids will be thoroughly resenting you soon enough for making everything in life only about your wants and needs, and completely ignoring theirs. I'm sure that will work out fine for making them into normal, well adjusted people...

*applauds with great gusto*

SteveJWatson

Wow, I hate to bring up a cliche but..."first world problems" anyone?

When I was a nipper, my mum did most of the cooking. You ate what you got and you liked it. There was nothing else, we couldn't afford it. If you didn't want something, fine, but you didn't get anything in its place. I don't recall there ever being a problem with that.

Now, we take it in turns to cook. The other eats whatever is made - we all know what is for dinner. Yes we have separate milk and she has special yoghurts (which I occasionally steal). I wouldn't dream of bringing in fast food when dinner has been cooked already and neither would my spouse, its an insult to whoever cooked - junk food is convenient and we all eat it at times, but it would/does not stand up to a home-cooked dinner.

Throwing away good food would be one of those things that makes me see red. Id pick it out of the bin and serve it back up (stew notwithstanding).

Grown men whinging for ice-cream and fizzy pop? Really?

TigressPat

Kick him out!

OP is unemployed. Kicking him out will lose her the income to buy her health food

Exactly. everyone is upset becuse she is the cook and waitress, but who is PAYING for her health foods???
Another case of dietary fanaticism without any grasp of reality.