Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH
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You're not 'waitress' but you're not just a cook, either! Let him cook a few times a week, and teach him stuff you can both enjoy.
Though people are right about calorie needs being different. It really depends on what healthy food you're actually eating, and cutting out salt altogether for someone not on a diet is really harsh! And if he's a fit man, he needs more calories to maintain than you do, a definitely more than you will be having to lose.
Surely compromise is a better way, and remember: You can always have smaller portions or miss some parts off your own plate. Think modular foods and ways to make stuff taste good without it being so obvious. (Swap out some pasta with broccoli for example but from a different pan so he can just have pasta if he want, make a green salad for you to have instead of the fries etc).
It's totally possible to eat a healthy amount of calories, and some 'junk' while having a generally healthy diet. A bit of give or take is your friend, and it's good to treat yourself sometimes too: any diet that doesn't allow some fun is probably not long term or maintainable anyway, it's about cutting things BACK, not OUT. At the very least, salt for the table and full fat milk in the fridge if he wants it won't stop you losing weight.
Talk it out, find a meal plan you can both have the things you love in, if you know you'll be way over on the days that are more 'his food' then use those as your workout days, or try to count your calories across the week rather than daily. It's not right he threw out your food, but find something you can both handle and things will be much better.0 -
Most people don't like someone else dictating to them about food - whether for good or bad! Your husband's way of expressing his discomfort wouldn't work here (!) but clearly he is unhappy. On the other hand, you wouldn't be happy giving up on your plan.
If this is really about different food choices - rather than fear that you might succeed in becoming ever more slim and attractive to other men, why not find a middle way? You don't have to have yoghurt to be healthy: there are other acceptable things to eat! He could prepare his own food of course, but there are many healthy meals that taste and look wicked. (My -slim and non-dieting -husband likes any spicy food - regardless of its fat content.)
If your man really doesn't want to join you in your healthier lifestyle, why not provide him with access to the snacks he craves - but choose ones you don't feel too tempted by. If you cook and eat tasty healthy meals for yourself and leave him to sort out something else, he'll probably be tempted by by yours in the end.0 -
And this is the thing; if she's playing the stereotypical 'house wife' roll; doing the general housework, while he work 8 hours a day; is it unreasonable for her to cook him some food he likes?OP is unemployed. Kicking him out will lose her the income to buy her health food
If I was in a relationship where I was unemployed and being supported by a girlfriend etc, I'd certainly be making the effort to cook them food they liked if not as 'payment' for their hospitality, certainly as 'thanks'.
(She says she can buy her own food, but doesn't mention she's self-sufficient.)
And her husband is 155, 5'9 and active apparently - doesn't sound like the unhealthy/fat slob type some are suggesting.
He complains when she works out which does seem a bit nasty - but then can't she do it when he's not there?
After a day at work not everyone wants someone jumping up and down all over the place.
Oh and I'm not suggesting he was anything but out of order for what he did - but I think the overall situation does need to be considered.
For the record for the OP: there isn't much evidence that organic food is 'healthier' for you. Salt seems to only really be a big issue if you've got high blood pressure - and the 'limits' advised are a massive fudge anyway.0 -
It seems to me like the two of you need to sit down and talk this out...there needs to be a compromise...I do NOT condone his childish outburst, however, in my house, I buy my healthy food and my husband eats some of it but not much...my kids eat most of it because they love that kind of stuff....but I don't expect my husband to stop eating everything he likes...just because I don't eat jam anymore, doesn't mean I won't buy it for him....and he buys his own snack food....I'd prefer it NOT to be in the house (my hubby is not exactly fit but not overweight either), but I can't force it on him.....
Still....the outburst was uncalled for....and throwing away your food? Oh that would have turned me into Medusa!!!!0 -
i know how you feel!, my husbands a **** TOO!0
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What a fool leaving your his card...
Go out replace all your food and buy some shoes/bag/make up etc for yourself
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I wouldn't buy food, he's on his own for the rest of the week.
THIS.
Rebuy what he tossed, and tell him if he wants his whole milk, soda, etc he can go buy it himself. I don't see any reason why you can't both have your foods in the house. You are trying to commit to a lifestyle change. If he doesn't like what you're cooking or buying, he can cook or buy something different. Just because he has whole milk in the house, doesn't mean you have to drink it. I have seen lots of couples have separate foods for certain meals... but he can't expect you to bend to his way, just like you can't expect him to like everything you eat.0 -
I like what one of the other comments was about, keeping foods for both of you. That's what I have to do and obviously speaking from one good cook to another...lol, keep the man happy in the kitchen. SLOWLY start taking away salt/sugar. As his taste buds change he'll never know what you did!!! (giggle) Also another thing I noticed was my husband was "more aware" of my figure around other men, maybe a little jealous at times. He may have some insecurities you guys may need to talk about. Hope this helps, I've learned through trial and error over the last 15+yrs0
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I seem to be in the minority here but I think he's got a point. His reaction was uncalled for, but you did change his eating habits without asking him what he wanted. Marriage is about communication and compromise, and working together for the good of both people. Ask him what changes he would be ok with. Add salt to his portion and Mrs Dash to yours. Get him foods he likes to have for lunches or snacks. There are ways for both of you to have what you want. As you start to see results he may want to join you; that's happened in my house. But I didn't force any changes on my husband. You're the one changing, so it makes sense for you to do a little more work or at least for you to be flexible. It sounds like both of you need to communicate better and come up with some solutions you can both live with.0
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I also don't think it has to be all or nothing.
I buy 3 different types of milk at my house....I drink skim, the kids drink 2% and my husband drinks rice milk (he's lactose intolerant). I'm the only one who likes Greek yogurt, so I buy that for me and buy regular yogurt for the kids. There are plenty of things that I like to eat that nobody else in the house does. No big deal.
As for meals....I only cook one meal. My husband does understand and appreciate that I cook healthy 80% of the time. I'm not so strict about it that we can't have some 'fun' food sometimes. It's all about balance. Our dinners usually consist of a protein (meat), starch and veggie. When we eat balanced, healthy food 80-85% of the time, we don't think twice about having pizza or chinese take out here and there.
^^^ This!!! ^^^
These post from women who say "I'm eating healthy...so everyone else in my family MUST eat healthy as well" That is completely selfish!!! IMO... :frown:
Sorry, my kids will not eat a salad...but I prepare relatively healthy options for them with each meal... Its not cooking several different meals... it's modifying components in the meal. It's all moderation. I'm not going to send my kids to bed without supper if they don't eat the food I prepare for supper, knowing they don't like what I've prepared... I'm sorry, I'll spend a little extra time in the kitchen to make a suitable healthy meal for all of us so we are all happy!!
I do the shopping and I make sure there are things that we all enjoy.....
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He sounds abusive. Please be safe message me if you need to talk . When 2 people love each other, they support one another unconditionally Talk about what he wants in the house, put it in a place that won't trigger you. If he doesn't like the way you cook, he can cook for himself0
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Oh hell no! It looks like you married a real winner. And as in winner I mean as*****!!!0
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This guy sounds really controlling and potentially dangerous - are you OK?
Also, why can't he cook his own f--king dinner?0 -
An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.0
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An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.
... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.0 -
I haven't read everything, but...
Why can't there be a balance? A quart of skim and a quart of whole milk. Yogurt for you, ice cream or whatever for him. You drink water, he can drink the soda.
I'm not a maid or waitress, either, but I'm not a dictator. I do the cooking, but I make sure that it's something we both like. My husband is as fussy as a toddler when it comes to some vegetables, so I buy mixed bags of frozen veg and he can pick out the broccoli and cauliflower if he doesn't want to eat it. There's still carrots and green beans in the mix. There's a protein we'll both eat. There's usually some kind of rice or pasta on the side and he can take a larger serving of that if he likes.
Also, sometimes you can have the nachos, the pizza, the ice cream, etc. Just make sure it fits your goals.0 -
I shop and cook for my family. I have a husband and a teenage son. We all have different dietary needs, but I manage to cook ONE dinner each night that we can all eat. Husband and son add or subtract stuff (son adds a sweet potato, husband sometimes adds a sweet potato and subtracts certain salads), and we all get different portion sizes. It's simple to do it this way,and nobody is complaining. I'm a great cook and love to eat, so I'm not going to be turning dinner into some sorta deprivation olympics.
For breakfast and lunch, we're all on our own. I make sure everyone has what they like to eat for those meals, but I refuse to buy junk foods and stock them in the pantry/fridge. If anyone wants those, they can go outside the house to purchase and eat them, period. I don't think that's unreasonable at all!
Both my son and husband have foods around that I don't eat--my husband eats jam, sometimes toast, but always has a bunch of crackers and assorted cheeses around. He's Spanish, and often has chorizo in the fridge as well. I don't really eat any of those things unless we're on a vacation somewhere, or perhaps out to dinner. Never in the house. My son eats a lot of greek yogurt, which I can't eat too much of. Both my husband and son eat a whole lot more fruit than I do, so I always make sure I've got lots of it around for them, etc.
We've all had to compromise a little bit, I guess. I have to be somewhat tolerant and give up a little space for stuff I can't possibly eat, and they have had to give up having any sort of complete junk foods around. It seems to have worked out ok.0 -
It sounds like he does his share of the 'bread winning', while she doesn't.... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.
If they both worked similar hours full time; I could well understand.
Me; since I was 5 and decided I wanted supernoodles for breakfast I've always cooked for myself if needed (my mum's reaction was "yes, you can have them... but I'm not cooking them" - but I appreciate not everyone's situation is the same.0 -
An active, healthy guy plays along for months with your "health food" approach and he's finally had enough? No surprise there.
... if he was doing his share of the cooking, then yeah, maybe. But it sounds like she's doing all the cooking and shopping, so if he wants certain foods and she doesn't, maybe he should get off his hole and make it himself.
He's working, she's not.0 -
I have my son and me.
I buy what I want, and I buy what he wants.
Good part of the time he makes his own., but he has been eating a lot of the healthier stuff, (veggies) - but he still lives on pizza, hot dogs, hamburgers, chinese, chicken nuggets, tacos..
I guess what I'm trying to say, is live and let live, let him eat his junk food, you KNOW you have the willpower to resist, right?0
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