Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....

Candi_land

It's a good thing you're losing weight, because you have such a pretty face!" ::Insert mental punch to the forehead here::

Also...

"You've lost 129lbs wow that's awesome, but OMG how much did you weigh BEFORE??"

mgmlap

After seeing my mom after 1.5 years...she said I didnt lose weight..I just somehow got a waist..How the HELL do you think I got a waist...I lost weight..

JingleMuffin

Ugh... lately I've been disturbed by people saying things like "you better not lose any more weight!"

Excuse me, you don't even know how much I weigh. And... just because I'm still eating better and exercising does NOT mean that I'm trying to "lose more weight". Maybe I trying to maintain my weight loss or (gasp!) gain muscle.

I know people don't mean anything by it, but I still think it's rude. I wouldn't say "you better not gain any more weight" to anyone, would I??

I get this a lot too. They start by saying something nice like "wow you've lost a lot of weight." and then something like "you better be done, you don't want to be to skinny."

WTF people. I still weigh 230 pounds, give or take, and I'm hitting the weights to get rid of the left over fat and add on some muscle. I do believe it is straight up jealousy. Not that I look that great, but they wish they had the mind set to do it themselves.

RIGHT
I run damn near everyday and ive had relatives ask me if i was "addicted to exercise"!!

no. umm.. im still over 200 pounds. i think your concern is a little insane. when i sat on the couch and ate a whole bag of doritos for 10 freakin years nobody asked me nothing. now im 70 pounds down and running marathons people wanna talk.

Celeigh12

"You're going to be gorgeous." Apparently I have not crossed the good looks threshold yet.

"You'll find someone now." Because as referenced by the above I was an undateable she-beast before.

RobinC37

TL;DR: Don't get butthurt because you misinterpreted someone's compliment.

To be honest, I don't think a lot of these comments are meant maliciously. The topic of weight is very touchy for a lot of people, and I think friends and family can feel awkward about the situation. They want to recognize your progress but don't know how to go about doing it. Think about it. Girls of any size are known to say "OMG I look/feel/am so fat!" and her friends will likely respond "No! You look great! You're perfect how you are." So if you are trying to be open about your goals with your friends by saying "I still want to lose another 15 lbs and gain some muscle" their response will be the same "No, you look great right now! You don't need to change at all!" I mean, how else would you respond? "Yeah, 15 lbs and some muscle would do you a lot of good. Get on it, chubster!"

Having used it myself in this context before, I believe "Make sure you don't get too skinny!" is a sign of concern. They may worry that you have an eating disorder or are doing it unhealthily, but don't want to confront you directly with it. The best thing is just to use time to prove you ARE healthy and safe and doing it for your health and wellness. When I was much heavier, I dreamed of weighing 110lbs (at 6'-yuck) and being a supermodel. Now that I have a little age and perspective, I am shooting for a healthy 170 with a healthy-athletic body fat percentage. What impression do you give off, even if you are shooting for a healthy goal? Instead of saying "Oh, I wish I was that skinny" I talk about my weight loss in terms of "I'm trying to run a 5k by my birthday and I'm trying to get my butt to look like Leila Ali's" I don't get the "don't get too thin" comments anymore because people understand that a number on the scale is not my focus.

And finally, the fact is, healthy people DO look better. I wasn't attractive at 270lbs. I couldn't do physical activities with my friends. My friends didn't choose to hang out with me because I looked good though, they hang out with me because they like my personality. I'm not offended at all if people tell me "You've lost weight! You look so good now!" It's 100% true. I look a lot better than I used to and am lot healthier. So I respond "Thank you, I feel great, too." They aren't saying I was any less of a person before.

People have asked if I got sick. I always assume their concern is genuine. Having a serious illness IS a big reason people lose weight quickly. I just explain to them that I was tired of feeling sick all the time before so I took steps to get healthier. In essence, with pre-diabetes, insulin resistance, and joint pain, I WAS sick. It just so happened the best treatment was weight-loss from exercise and a healthier, mindful diet.

MyChocolateDiet

As a left hander I am offended by the term...

ETA: and I think you meant back handed compliment... :happy:

yeah it's actually "backhanded compliment" like they are backhanding you while they compliment you.

jevoyager

I always feel weird when someone says 'oh you're so skinny now' or 'you don't need to worry about losing weight you're fine' especially when

1. i'm obviously still overweight, so it feels more like patronizing

2. they turn around and either make comments about theirselves or others who obviously weigh less than me ('good lord she looks awful in that shirt' or 'i'm so fat i'm hideous' - if thats the case, then what do you really say about me when i'm not around, ya know?

not that i really care what they think either way but, i just feel so akward when they start up with these kinds of comments...

nettip

I'm left-handed and all I ever get is grief for doing stuff "backwards".

Ditto, me and my son are both lefty and get grief, I work with my husband and we share a desk at our shop and he always swaps the set up BC to right when I'm the accountant so I'm at the desk 80% of the week!!

texmexmomma

I got the "Wow, did you lose weight?" to which I replied "Yeah, I did" the response

"Good, I didn't want to say anything cuz I thought you might be pregnant but wasn't sure"

WTF mind your business!!! I was shocked into silence.

MyChocolateDiet

i wish i got these. i'm pretty evil with a comeback :devil: and b*tchy come backs burn about 10 calories per statement.

OMG! [runs to put todays b*tchy come backs in her exercise log.] I may never have to go to the gym again!

perfectionisntme

When I lost 20 lbs., I had someone say "You're too skinny. You need to eat." Mother got on my case, and although she was trying to be positive, she would tell me things like, "You should be happy. You are thinner than I was at your age, than you came along and I never lost the weight." Wow. It's my fault your fat? I think not.

lucylousmummy

last summer when i got down to my lowest weight since about the age of 13 i found out that a number of my larger friends were gossiping about my weight loss, they had all agreed that i looked like crap, drawn, ill even, they then decided to tell me they had been watching me for about a month and had decided as i obviously wasn't ill it must be my evil diet, needless to say i was devastated, the fact was i was going through a pretty crappy period with my eldest son who has mental health issues, was stressed to the eyeballs, and therefore not sleeping well, i was also "training" for my first ever 5k.
im ashamed to say it sent me into a spiral and ended up putting weight back on, but im back on the old diet now, and this time i am not going to let there half complimentary, half b****y comments get me down.
they regularly call me a skinny b***h and although yes im thinner than them, thinner than i have ever been, i am still in the overweight category so clearly not that skinny
i wonder if the next time i am greeted with hello skinny b***h, it would be considered ill mannered of me to reply with hello fat b***h lol but im not that cruel

green022

Wow! I guess I am lucky enough to be surrounded by wonderful, supportive people. I have gotten the occasional "don't get too skinny", "you're done losing, right" comments but I'm 5'4" and 188 pounds. Nope, not done losing. Another poster had it right on when they said that these comments mostly come from people that are jealous, not of our body, but of our mindset and the ability to take control of our lives.

^^ Me too I get a few "don't get scary skinny" But for the most part people tell me congrats or your looking good... most are just mad because you are a bad *kitten* and changed your life while they more than likely have trouble changing into clean socks.

jacque1129

when i talked to my friend about getting back to my weight from last winter she said you looked like a crackhead then, NO OFFENSE! oh yeah, none taken... :grumble:

MyChocolateDiet

"Why are you losing weight you look fine". I hate that one!!

Just say "I know I look fine, but I want to look FIIIIIINNEEE!"

MorbidMander

I get them mostly from family, of course. I recall at Xmas how my aunt and her mother were like, 'You want to lose 30 more after you lost 15?! NO!" Which a feeling tells me they are jealous (?) and don't want me to lose more, they are both overweight, bordering obese, not happy with how they look for sure. But really? No? Oh ok, guess you control what I do to my body. You have no clue how much I weigh. I went from 175, to one 160 (I'm now 154) but 160 for someone that is 5'3" is overweight!

I am trying to be in the healthy weight range for my height! However the one that annoyed me the most was my skinny friend that is UNDERWEIGHT for her height, she's 5'5" and maybe 110 pounds, I told her my goal weight was to get down to 125, and she's like, "Oh, too small! Make sure to eat or you'll gain it all back if you get down to that." Wow. Really?! When did these kinds of comments become ok exactly?! Who the hell are you to say anything to me, especially with you being underweight, to give me advice?! I love how people immediately jump to, "Oh, well, she's losing weight, she MUST not be eating and working out to excess."

I eat close to 1500/1600 calories a day and exercise maybe 20 to 40 minutes a day. So bite my now toned *kitten*.

kaysue1

My MIL hugged me and said in my ear," Wow! You are so small and your face is drawn now. You look old."

B%tchy

I don't have that problem...I am told I actually look younger.

bethcamp

my boyfriend - your pouch has gone! -.-

ashleyballam

"Why are you on a diet your not THAT big? " <<< umm is this a good thing ?? NOT !! & how do people know how i feel ? Im only 5'0 so 12-15lbs on this Short/small frame shows like 20 -30lbs !!

skrakalaka

My husband said "to be as small as you are but weigh as much as you do? That's impressive." and "Your quads are so big, I'm jealous." Then he gets defensive when that pisses me off and he says "What's the problem? You're lucky. I wish my legs could be that big."