Left Handed Compliment. Who's getting them....

DivineRED1

Honestly, when the weight does start to come off and it starts being noticeable to others, I actually dread the compliments. I don't want that kind of attention. It's embarrassing. Someone at work lost some weight and people are always going on and on about how good she looks. Granted, she fishes for compliments too. It's annoying. Mostly, I am not comfortable with people scrutinizing my body regardless of the size.

BabyFishMouth

I'm in the beauty shop, the beautician says to another client "Doesn't she (me) look fantastic?!", client says "Yeah, but I don't want to lose weight bad enough to mutilate my body like she did". I say "What? I did this through diet and exercise, not surgery!", and the woman proceeds to argue with me, insisting I couldn't possibly have lost 67 pounds "just by diet and exercise" and that I didn't need to be ashamed of having surgery! Sometimes you just shake your head and move on.....

Oh my gosh. I would have been fuming. First of all, how rude to even say that out loud! Second of all, it's your body so it's none of their business. Third, and the one that would have sent me over the edge, they called you a liar! I guess it's a hot button thing for me, but I get absolutely furious when I can tell someone thinks I'm lying to them. I'm pretty sure it speaks to their own honesty more than mine (if they're so quick to assume I'm lying it's because they are themselves liars), but it incenses me.

I'm guessing it was a bad tip day in that salon. Hee.

jillybeansalad

Not really, the weird thing is when I gain weight I'm often asked if I've lost it?

Maybe it's because I work around mostly men and they get really paranoid on approaching a woman about certain things. You'd think they would just play it safe and not say anything. lol

BabyFishMouth

last summer when i got down to my lowest weight since about the age of 13 i found out that a number of my larger friends were gossiping about my weight loss, they had all agreed that i looked like crap, drawn, ill even, they then decided to tell me they had been watching me for about a month and had decided as i obviously wasn't ill it must be my evil diet, needless to say i was devastated, the fact was i was going through a pretty crappy period with my eldest son who has mental health issues, was stressed to the eyeballs, and therefore not sleeping well, i was also "training" for my first ever 5k.
im ashamed to say it sent me into a spiral and ended up putting weight back on, but im back on the old diet now, and this time i am not going to let there half complimentary, half b****y comments get me down.
they regularly call me a skinny b***h and although yes im thinner than them, thinner than i have ever been, i am still in the overweight category so clearly not that skinny
i wonder if the next time i am greeted with hello skinny b***h, it would be considered ill mannered of me to reply with hello fat b***h lol but im not that cruel

This made me just want to hug you. As a mom, it is so mentally draining to walk with your kids through the scary world of mental illness. To do it while still taking care of yourself is heroic. Hang in there and please accept many virtual hugs from me.

moustache_flavored_lube

I complement my left hand all the time!! She's my number one gal

BabyFishMouth

A coworker who is very visibly thinner than me (but same height) who knows she is at least 20 lbs lighter than me (we've talked numbers before) was lamenting that she needed to get smaller because she jiggles when working out in her underwear. (She's in the lower range of healthy weight. I am in the upper range, dancing on the line to overweight.) After noticing that I'm standing there looking at her, she goes, "but YOU look good."

Right.

(I'm not really insulted by this. More like inspired to work harder... and it also makes me think she's a little bit off her rocker.)

OK, now imagine this woman is your own mother. Argh!!! There ought to be a law against people complaining about their weight to others who weigh more. Seriously. Punishable by force feeding of 10,000 calories of crappy junk food.

jadethief

"Wow! You look good!" And then they lean in and say, "You know, you were really, really big!"

Um, no. I didn't know that.

Barton1221

The best I have gotten:

"I didn't realize how big you were before!"

Aw, that's sweet.....thanks...

JonnyR214

when I was fat it was:

" You need to diet and exercise "

" Haha! you're sweating, good youre too fat! "


Now that i'm skinny it's..

" You don't need to lose anymore weight, you're gonna die "

" You look sick "

" I'm surprised your doctor didn't tell you that you have anemia you look like it "

oh yeah totally, and im sick of it, I work very hard for my body I really wish people weren't so cruel

postrockandcats

TL;DR: Don't get butthurt because you misinterpreted someone's compliment.

I don't, anymore; I usually laugh about it now. However, it's my right to get hurt by a hurtful comment regardless if it was intentional. I'm sure you've had your share of hurt feelings over someone saying something unintentionally (or intentionally!) mean. So don't judge the posters in here too harshly.

Lyonsgurl

lost about 35lbs my senior year..im 5'6 was 135...normalish right? The school called my mother and told her they thought i had anerexia and I should get help

RPerkins726

Guy at work asked me how much weight I had lost. I always feel uncomfortable answering this, but I'm about being honest, so I told him my number (48 lbs at the time). His response was to laugh and say, "wow if I lost that much weight, I'd be a skeleton."

This is the funniest one I've read yet--you're an angel for walking away without injuring the man! your hard work has paid off and you deserve all kinds of positive feedback...probably no skeleton comments necessary!!

deadmittens

My brother hugged me and goes "Ugh you're too bony to hug now."

Excellent. :glasses:

RPerkins726

TL;DR: Don't get butthurt because you misinterpreted someone's compliment.

To be honest, I don't think a lot of these comments are meant maliciously. The topic of weight is very touchy for a lot of people, and I think friends and family can feel awkward about the situation. They want to recognize your progress but don't know how to go about doing it. Think about it. Girls of any size are known to say "OMG I look/feel/am so fat!" and her friends will likely respond "No! You look great! You're perfect how you are." So if you are trying to be open about your goals with your friends by saying "I still want to lose another 15 lbs and gain some muscle" their response will be the same "No, you look great right now! You don't need to change at all!" I mean, how else would you respond? "Yeah, 15 lbs and some muscle would do you a lot of good. Get on it, chubster!"

Having used it myself in this context before, I believe "Make sure you don't get too skinny!" is a sign of concern. They may worry that you have an eating disorder or are doing it unhealthily, but don't want to confront you directly with it. The best thing is just to use time to prove you ARE healthy and safe and doing it for your health and wellness. When I was much heavier, I dreamed of weighing 110lbs (at 6'-yuck) and being a supermodel. Now that I have a little age and perspective, I am shooting for a healthy 170 with a healthy-athletic body fat percentage. What impression do you give off, even if you are shooting for a healthy goal? Instead of saying "Oh, I wish I was that skinny" I talk about my weight loss in terms of "I'm trying to run a 5k by my birthday and I'm trying to get my butt to look like Leila Ali's" I don't get the "don't get too thin" comments anymore because people understand that a number on the scale is not my focus.

And finally, the fact is, healthy people DO look better. I wasn't attractive at 270lbs. I couldn't do physical activities with my friends. My friends didn't choose to hang out with me because I looked good though, they hang out with me because they like my personality. I'm not offended at all if people tell me "You've lost weight! You look so good now!" It's 100% true. I look a lot better than I used to and am lot healthier. So I respond "Thank you, I feel great, too." They aren't saying I was any less of a person before.

People have asked if I got sick. I always assume their concern is genuine. Having a serious illness IS a big reason people lose weight quickly. I just explain to them that I was tired of feeling sick all the time before so I took steps to get healthier. In essence, with pre-diabetes, insulin resistance, and joint pain, I WAS sick. It just so happened the best treatment was weight-loss from exercise and a healthier, mindful diet.

Beautifully said!

joss99

I think a lot of people that are surprised that diet and exercise alone can help you achieve dramatic results are surprised because they a) aren't doing it b) honestly have no idea how to do it and think that they can't because it would take too much will power etc. My sister is not naturally thin, but has been small most of her life and She says she's a freak because she has always been calorie wise and self motivated.... we have had this discussion a lot recently and she's asked me, "Do people just not realize how many calories are in ________________" or something similar to that. I'll be perfectly honest, I didn't. I never realized one bread stick at olive garden was 140 calories.. I would usually eat 3 or 4 of them in a sitting on top of the salad and whatever meal I had so I pretty much blew my entire "dinner" calorie allotment, on just bread!

valeriewxy

I get asked a lot if I'm on some kind of special diet ... Well, yeah, it's called the Make Healthy Food Choices diet. It's really good! *tries not to roll eyes*

My sis is skinny to the point of ... well, anorexic. We work in the same organisation, and therefore our colleagues seem to think it's funny to ask me if I'm eating her portion of the food. Ha. Ha.

CassieReannan

"You look so much better than you used to look"

:huh:

kellyf_83

I just had a baby 15 weeks ago and I started Insanity 3 weeks ago. My mom said I gotta be "insane to do something so stupid. That's why it's called insanity." She's overweight and refuses to exercise- but she doesn't get it that I'm not like that!

mjkpe

I had one lady in church say "your wasting away to nothing". While that is not true, (in the slightest), knowing that lady she meant in love. Bring them on!

missjanetleigh

How about when you finally see your sister after a year or longer and she looks at your husband and say's that he looks great he lost weight when I was the one who had lost not him!

missjanetleigh

This is not quite on topic but I have a neighbor who said dont get rid of your bigger clothes because you will regain the weight. I think not. It is the best inspiration to stay on track.

I've heard this too! I will save one pair of pants for when I can't hold them on in comparison pics later.

triff14

A coworker once said "You're not fat anymore."

When I was offended he said "What? I always said you were pretty to make you feel good about yourself when you were bigger."

*sigh*

TraceysJourney

My friend is going to start taking the same tablets as me ( liver detox) cause that's why i have been loosing weight
It has nothing to do with eating healthy and exercising everyday lol

kibenson

"You've lost weight" said accusary not complimentary.

nomeejerome

bump

tiffanyheth

My sweet sons (4.5 year old boys) say "Mommy, you work so hard so you're belly isn't fat anymore" Or "Mom you have to run so you're not so cranky."

Lol. It actually makes me put my shoulders back and say "YEP!"

diodelcibo

I get something like this a lot:

Nice arms , what celltech do you use?

...

Strobins05

I'm a teacher and recently one of my kiddos said " You didn't like being fat"!!!!

My 5 year old son told his cousin, " my mommy does excercise so you can be skinny like your mommy"!

^^ LMBO, love this!!! Too funny and cute at the same time.

Queen_Adrock

My exboyfriend once told me "How are you losing all this weight? I don't date girls with eating disorders, you know." Umm...yeaah...and he also had an overeating disorder, which he didn't categorize as an 'eating disorder' apparently.

AmyMK

It wasn't said directly to my face, but a co-worker said to my best friend (about me)

"Hey, so, has Amy started smoking meth? Because she's really starting to look skinny"