I HAVEN'T LOST WEIGHT YET!!! :(

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  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
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    Sounds like you should try daily enemas of black coffee, raspberry ketones and a shot of tequila

    LOL....omg...seriously this thread is awesome
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    I always thought people using "loose" in place of "lose" were being grammatically incorrect. Now I think that maybe they are referring to a new weight loss program. Try jumping up and down a lot to loosen the fat so that it's easier to burn. That makes sense, right? It's easier to lose "loose" fat.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    I always thought people using "loose" in place of "lose" were being grammatically incorrect. Now I think that maybe they are referring to a new weight loss program. Try jumping up and down a lot to loosen the fat so that it's easier to burn. That makes sense, right? It's easier to lose "loose" fat.

    Lose the loose fat like that and you'll end up with loose skin!
  • misspastry
    misspastry Posts: 109 Member
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    Are you serious? I think you need mental help.
  • MysticDragoness
    MysticDragoness Posts: 12
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    I can't believe this post actually generated 4 pages of responses!
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
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    I always thought people using "loose" in place of "lose" were being grammatically incorrect. Now I think that maybe they are referring to a new weight loss program. Try jumping up and down a lot to loosen the fat so that it's easier to burn. That makes sense, right? It's easier to lose "loose" fat.

    Lose the loose fat like that and you'll end up with loose skin!

    I was joking! It's a ridiculous idea.
  • verbalriot
    verbalriot Posts: 90
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    Stop breathing - THEN you'll see results.
  • Smoothroz
    Smoothroz Posts: 77 Member
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    Well, don't give up. I began my green smoothie diet with clean eating on Monday and I haven't loss weight. It normally takes me 4-5 days for the numbers on the scales to drop. So more than likely I will drop 1-2 pounds by this weekend.

    Your body has to adjust and it's probably too soon to show yet. Keep up the pace and give it a week....the pounds will drop.

    Best of luck to you.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    You are probably retaining water. You should drink a gallon for every 30 pounds of body weight to flush out your system.


    Don't listen to this! If you're retaining water you have to stop drinking all water until your body can photosynthesize what it already has! Drinking more water only will cause hyperhidrosis and make you buoyant!

    OMG; first time I've laughed out loud all day.
  • niatram
    niatram Posts: 4 Member
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    2 words...dolo might!
  • RobinvdM
    RobinvdM Posts: 634 Member
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    cant-even-shake-my-head.jpg
  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
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    Drop your calories to 1200 and check with Dr. Oz to see if he has any interesting new weight loss tips.
  • Garfunklette
    Garfunklette Posts: 22 Member
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    I read the topic title and thought, "Oh dear, here we go again..." Read the thread and found it full of win.
  • jennyrebekka
    jennyrebekka Posts: 626 Member
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    Drop your calories to 1200 and check with Dr. Oz to see if he has any interesting new weight loss tips.

    ^^^^THIS
  • RotterdamNL
    RotterdamNL Posts: 509 Member
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    Very sad you post this in motivation and support where people are serious and not in Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games, where this post should have been
  • Danni1585
    Danni1585 Posts: 250 Member
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    Sad trolls, get off the site !
  • 5stringjeff
    5stringjeff Posts: 790 Member
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    Did you weigh after drinking coffee in the morning? You should never weigh after coffee!

    Drink MORE coffee! It's a diuretic so the more you drink the more water you'll lose! GUARANTEED way to shed the pounds! And if that doesn't work, switch to the 3-Day Military diet! Every soldier does this in basic training to get in shape!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Sad trolls, get off the site !

    If you read closely enough, and look at the big picture here, you'll see that there is a lot of valuable information in this thread. Sure, it's phrased in a way that makes those without a sense of humor a little stabby, but that doesn't mean the information is any less valuable. And not everyone will get it *right now*...but in time, I suspect most will.

    OP, the only way you'll learn just how volatile scale weight can be is to weigh yourself every 15-20 minutes. Log it and graph it. Over time, it will trend very smoothly to a curve that will let you know if you're heading in the right direction. Don't forget to set alarms to wake up and weigh yourself at night too.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    It sounds like your wife might be sabotaging you.
    Just break up.

    Damn you Anvil *shakes fist at you* You beat me to it!

    *To Note: I am just joking around*
  • spiritedsaviour
    spiritedsaviour Posts: 50 Member
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    What do you expect...a pound of muscle weighs more than a pound of fat..2 hours at the gym you probably converted a few pounds of fat to muscle!
    :laugh: :drinker: Serious replies stop! You are killing me!!

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