Will Coffee Enemas help me lose weight?
Replies
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To the OP.
The enema will only help you lose the 10lbs or more of bile built in your system.
Hard work and exercise is the only real thing that will help you burn fat and gain muscle.
And a good support system.
Feel free to add me if you need a "way to go" every now and then.
Good luck, best wishes--Chelsea0 -
What do you think would happen if we paired this with the vodka tampon? Possible nirvana?
Vodka (depressant) tampon + coffee (stimulant) enema = perfect balance
I Otterlyluv this.0 -
Cool - here is someone who is brave enough to let people know - you can't hurt her feelings. That's super. Everyone else should be also.0
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If you use them in reverse with Alcohol you get drunk with out the calories....think about that :drinker:
No, don't think about that! The alcohol doesn't pass the usual processing and you get alcohol poisoning and DEAD faster! Wasn't going to comment but that's just a dangerous idea. Yes, doing this has actually killed people. Just to make my point, I'm talking about pushing alcohol into your rectum.
I have no comment on coffee enemas, not my idea of a good time but whatever.0 -
Truly, I cannot imagine wanting to give myself any sort of an enema, let alone several a day with coffee. They don't get rid of body fat, either. Just the stuff in your GI tract. And if your tract is normal, that'll happen anyway one or the other >_<0
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Cool. Are we done here? I have stir fry to eat. :laugh:I wouldn't go as far as a coffee enema. I take colon cleanse stuff which helps keep you clean and healthy.
I'd start with something along those lines first.
What's the difference, really? They're both just stimulant laxatives.
a coffee enema? You do know what that is right?
Atleast with colon cleanse you don't have to go through all the pointless pain or awkwardness.
They're just pills. The ones I have are all natural.
I was recommended them as I have some issues with my stomach and gi tract.
After having a colonoscopy, I was told by a professional that is actually a really good idea to take the colon cleanse and keep all the built up bile to a minimum.
doesnt sound too healthy to me.
According to a Health Professional it is.
Think about it.
1. have you ever had a colonscopy? The prep they put you through cleans your entire system out. I'll tell you this in all honesty, I felt better after being cleaned out that I ever have before. Healthier.
2. You carry up to ten pounds of built up bile in your body at all times. You don't want to clean that out and feel lighter, healthier, and cleaner?
That's complete and utter delusional nonsense. Coffee is pretty natural- certainly not LESS natural than your pills, and doing any sort of laxative "cleanse" (senna being a 'natural' laxative) disrupts your gut bacteria, messes with the muscle contractions of your digestive system risking permanent long term damage, and is, in my opinion, loosely-veiled socially acceptable bulimia. Good luck with it though. Glad to hear it works for you.
Didn't say it was more natural.
But it is ALL NATURAL.
and being all natural it doesn't disrupt ANYTHING.
You poop anyways right? seriously, why not clean out THE BAD STUFF!!
Doing it one a month, or once every three months is GOOD FOR YOU.
Coming from someone who had GI issues her WHOLE LIFE.
and Coming from the opinion of my doctor. I think he knows a bit more about the GI tract than you.
It is far from bulimia, as I don't do it to lose weight, I do it for my health. I'd rather not have to go in for another colonoscopy.
LOL, whatever you want to believe.
You know what else is NATURAL? Nightshade. Cyanide. Radioactive material.
Whatever your doctor tells you, I am POSITIVE they didn't tell you to do stimulant laxative cleanses for the health of your digestive system. It will prevent you from ever overcoming whatever digestive issues you have, as you are regularly disrupting the stasis of your NATURAL gut bacteria.
Yupp, you're right.
My doctor with 14 years of school and many years of practice is wrong.
Wow.
SMH
Honey, I don't think your doctor is wrong. I think you misinterpreted what they told you.
No "HONEY" I didn't.
I'm not stupid. Nor would I not ask questions when any doctor tells me anything.
He said exactly what I put here.
That using a colon cleanse once a month, or every three months is good for you.
(:
Can't really misinterpret that. All in English too.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN PLEASE DON'T COMMENT ON THE THREADS!
Why are you so rude? Please take your trolling elsewhere as you obviously aren't here for the same reasons as the rest of us.
Yupp, cute. (:
I didn't troll. I gave actual advice to the op.
Backed with things a healthcare professional said.
But yeah, keep trying.
You guys really don't hurt my feelings.0 -
Cool. Are we done here? I have stir fry to eat. :laugh:
Orally?0 -
Okay, wait... are we still talking about putting coffee... up the pooper?!
Can't we all just pop some hydroxycut flakes and have a group hug?0 -
Okay, wait... are we still talking about putting coffee... up the pooper?!
Can't we all just pop some hydroxycut flakes and have a group hug?
Hold on, let me pull my pants back up, I was trying to have a nice quite cup of joe . . .0 -
Cool. Are we done here? I have stir fry to eat. :laugh:
Orally?
0 -
I wouldn't go as far as a coffee enema. I take colon cleanse stuff which helps keep you clean and healthy.
I'd start with something along those lines first.
What's the difference, really? They're both just stimulant laxatives.
a coffee enema? You do know what that is right?
Atleast with colon cleanse you don't have to go through all the pointless pain or awkwardness.
They're just pills. The ones I have are all natural.
I was recommended them as I have some issues with my stomach and gi tract.
After having a colonoscopy, I was told by a professional that is actually a really good idea to take the colon cleanse and keep all the built up bile to a minimum.
doesnt sound too healthy to me.
According to a Health Professional it is.
Think about it.
1. have you ever had a colonscopy? The prep they put you through cleans your entire system out. I'll tell you this in all honesty, I felt better after being cleaned out that I ever have before. Healthier.
2. You carry up to ten pounds of built up bile in your body at all times. You don't want to clean that out and feel lighter, healthier, and cleaner?
That's complete and utter delusional nonsense. Coffee is pretty natural- certainly not LESS natural than your pills, and doing any sort of laxative "cleanse" (senna being a 'natural' laxative) disrupts your gut bacteria, messes with the muscle contractions of your digestive system risking permanent long term damage, and is, in my opinion, loosely-veiled socially acceptable bulimia. Good luck with it though. Glad to hear it works for you.
Didn't say it was more natural.
But it is ALL NATURAL.
and being all natural it doesn't disrupt ANYTHING.
You poop anyways right? seriously, why not clean out THE BAD STUFF!!
Doing it one a month, or once every three months is GOOD FOR YOU.
Coming from someone who had GI issues her WHOLE LIFE.
and Coming from the opinion of my doctor. I think he knows a bit more about the GI tract than you.
It is far from bulimia, as I don't do it to lose weight, I do it for my health. I'd rather not have to go in for another colonoscopy.
LOL, whatever you want to believe.
You know what else is NATURAL? Nightshade. Cyanide. Radioactive material.
Whatever your doctor tells you, I am POSITIVE they didn't tell you to do stimulant laxative cleanses for the health of your digestive system. It will prevent you from ever overcoming whatever digestive issues you have, as you are regularly disrupting the stasis of your NATURAL gut bacteria.
Yupp, you're right.
My doctor with 14 years of school and many years of practice is wrong.
Wow.
SMH
Honey, I don't think your doctor is wrong. I think you misinterpreted what they told you.
No "HONEY" I didn't.
I'm not stupid. Nor would I not ask questions when any doctor tells me anything.
He said exactly what I put here.
That using a colon cleanse once a month, or every three months is good for you.
(:
Can't really misinterpret that. All in English too.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN PLEASE DON'T COMMENT ON THE THREADS!
Why are you so rude? Please take your trolling elsewhere as you obviously aren't here for the same reasons as the rest of us.
Yupp, cute. (:
I didn't troll. I gave actual advice to the op.
Backed with things a healthcare professional said.
But yeah, keep trying.
You guys really don't hurt my feelings.
No one wants to hurt your feelings. You aren't that important. But your incessant need to get the last word keeps you coming back where you aren't needed. You can't possibly be answering something for the OP because this is a joke post. Everyone here understands that but you. That puts the clearly understood communications between you and your English speaking doctor in a new light, doesn't it?0 -
Anyone even remotely considering the efficacy of a coffee enema should watch this youtube video from the BBC series "Embarrassing Bodies"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npERFkP_Ajg 0 -
Just now read the actual article in the OP, after much amusement at this thread.
:noway:0 -
Cool. Are we done here? I have stir fry to eat. :laugh:
Orally?
mmmshare0 -
Yes.0
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I wouldn't go as far as a coffee enema. I take colon cleanse stuff which helps keep you clean and healthy.
I'd start with something along those lines first.
What's the difference, really? They're both just stimulant laxatives.
a coffee enema? You do know what that is right?
Atleast with colon cleanse you don't have to go through all the pointless pain or awkwardness.
They're just pills. The ones I have are all natural.
I was recommended them as I have some issues with my stomach and gi tract.
After having a colonoscopy, I was told by a professional that is actually a really good idea to take the colon cleanse and keep all the built up bile to a minimum.
doesnt sound too healthy to me.
According to a Health Professional it is.
Think about it.
1. have you ever had a colonscopy? The prep they put you through cleans your entire system out. I'll tell you this in all honesty, I felt better after being cleaned out that I ever have before. Healthier.
2. You carry up to ten pounds of built up bile in your body at all times. You don't want to clean that out and feel lighter, healthier, and cleaner?
That's complete and utter delusional nonsense. Coffee is pretty natural- certainly not LESS natural than your pills, and doing any sort of laxative "cleanse" (senna being a 'natural' laxative) disrupts your gut bacteria, messes with the muscle contractions of your digestive system risking permanent long term damage, and is, in my opinion, loosely-veiled socially acceptable bulimia. Good luck with it though. Glad to hear it works for you.
Didn't say it was more natural.
But it is ALL NATURAL.
and being all natural it doesn't disrupt ANYTHING.
You poop anyways right? seriously, why not clean out THE BAD STUFF!!
Doing it one a month, or once every three months is GOOD FOR YOU.
Coming from someone who had GI issues her WHOLE LIFE.
and Coming from the opinion of my doctor. I think he knows a bit more about the GI tract than you.
It is far from bulimia, as I don't do it to lose weight, I do it for my health. I'd rather not have to go in for another colonoscopy.
I just want to point out death camus and water hemlock are also "all natural" and they do disrupt things. Namely life in sufficient quantity.0 -
Would anyone like to hear my barium enema story?
Please!!!0 -
Cool. Are we done here? I have stir fry to eat. :laugh:I wouldn't go as far as a coffee enema. I take colon cleanse stuff which helps keep you clean and healthy.
I'd start with something along those lines first.
What's the difference, really? They're both just stimulant laxatives.
a coffee enema? You do know what that is right?
Atleast with colon cleanse you don't have to go through all the pointless pain or awkwardness.
They're just pills. The ones I have are all natural.
I was recommended them as I have some issues with my stomach and gi tract.
After having a colonoscopy, I was told by a professional that is actually a really good idea to take the colon cleanse and keep all the built up bile to a minimum.
doesnt sound too healthy to me.
According to a Health Professional it is.
Think about it.
1. have you ever had a colonscopy? The prep they put you through cleans your entire system out. I'll tell you this in all honesty, I felt better after being cleaned out that I ever have before. Healthier.
2. You carry up to ten pounds of built up bile in your body at all times. You don't want to clean that out and feel lighter, healthier, and cleaner?
That's complete and utter delusional nonsense. Coffee is pretty natural- certainly not LESS natural than your pills, and doing any sort of laxative "cleanse" (senna being a 'natural' laxative) disrupts your gut bacteria, messes with the muscle contractions of your digestive system risking permanent long term damage, and is, in my opinion, loosely-veiled socially acceptable bulimia. Good luck with it though. Glad to hear it works for you.
Didn't say it was more natural.
But it is ALL NATURAL.
and being all natural it doesn't disrupt ANYTHING.
You poop anyways right? seriously, why not clean out THE BAD STUFF!!
Doing it one a month, or once every three months is GOOD FOR YOU.
Coming from someone who had GI issues her WHOLE LIFE.
and Coming from the opinion of my doctor. I think he knows a bit more about the GI tract than you.
It is far from bulimia, as I don't do it to lose weight, I do it for my health. I'd rather not have to go in for another colonoscopy.
LOL, whatever you want to believe.
You know what else is NATURAL? Nightshade. Cyanide. Radioactive material.
Whatever your doctor tells you, I am POSITIVE they didn't tell you to do stimulant laxative cleanses for the health of your digestive system. It will prevent you from ever overcoming whatever digestive issues you have, as you are regularly disrupting the stasis of your NATURAL gut bacteria.
Yupp, you're right.
My doctor with 14 years of school and many years of practice is wrong.
Wow.
SMH
Honey, I don't think your doctor is wrong. I think you misinterpreted what they told you.
No "HONEY" I didn't.
I'm not stupid. Nor would I not ask questions when any doctor tells me anything.
He said exactly what I put here.
That using a colon cleanse once a month, or every three months is good for you.
(:
Can't really misinterpret that. All in English too.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SOMETHING NICE TO SAY THEN PLEASE DON'T COMMENT ON THE THREADS!
Why are you so rude? Please take your trolling elsewhere as you obviously aren't here for the same reasons as the rest of us.
Yupp, cute. (:
I didn't troll. I gave actual advice to the op.
Backed with things a healthcare professional said.
But yeah, keep trying.
You guys really don't hurt my feelings.
PO or PR??0 -
No one wants to hurt your feelings. You aren't that important. But your incessant need to get the last word keeps you coming back where you aren't needed. You can't possibly be answering something for the OP because this is a joke post. Everyone here understands that but you. That puts the clearly understood communications between you and your English speaking doctor in a new light, doesn't it?
Wait this was a joke? (looks at empty bottle of vodka, pitcher of coffee, and enema bag)....:sad:0 -
Mmmm crappucinos.
:sick:0 -
Okay, wait... are we still talking about putting coffee... up the pooper?!
Can't we all just pop some hydroxycut flakes and have a group hug?
Hold on, let me pull my pants back up, I was trying to have a nice quite cup of joe . . .
Laughed my butt off ...
Looks like 2013 is going down in the "still immature " column.0 -
um. No
M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
Ice cream afficionado
"Winning" Certified Instructor
Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
0 -
Wait, I want to hear how the body can retain up to 10 pounds of bile.
And how flushing out your poopy tube can banish that.
I'll have my enema with cream and sugar, thanks.0 -
No one wants to hurt your feelings. You aren't that important. But your incessant need to get the last word keeps you coming back where you aren't needed. You can't possibly be answering something for the OP because this is a joke post. Everyone here understands that but you. That puts the clearly understood communications between you and your English speaking doctor in a new light, doesn't it?
Wait this was a joke? (looks at empty bottle of vodka, pitcher of coffee, and enema bag)....:sad:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
um. No
M.F.P. Hottest Person/M.F.P. Most awesome person
Ice cream afficionado
"Winning" Certified Instructor
Been in gifs for 2 years and have studied custom gif creation
Uh, Jac said no so I have to agree. Have you seen his credentials???0 -
Yes. And i hear snorting the creamer up your nose really clears your head in the morning.0
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PERFECT. LMAOSure it will make you lose weight....when you scald your rectum so badly you don't dare eat solid food for a year. You'll lose plenty.0 -
I have not tried coffee enema to lose weight, but I have successfully gained weight by sticking twinkies and whipped cream up my butt. 10/100
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Oooooooooo I wonder if your farts would have a coffee scent to them. Then you could fart, call people into your office and be like " hey guys...does my office smell like coffee?'...they will all take a big sniff and go "mmmmm yeah" and then you could giggle like Peter Griffen because everyone smelled your fart and thought it was delicious. Zing!0
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Sure it will make you lose weight....when you scald your rectum so badly you don't dare eat solid food for a year. You'll lose plenty.
I think this is the funniest MFP post EVER.0
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