Do Zombies Poop?

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  • Wolf_
    Wolf_ Posts: 442
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    Zombies don't poop because they're supernatural creatures that the laws of physiology don't pertain to. Sort of like sparkly vampires made of stone that still drink blood and sire children. And the reason zombies are all skinny is because, as pointed out in the movie Zombieland:

    Rule No. 1: Cardio. The fatties were the first to go (cut to scene of fat guy gasping for breath, running from zombies and then being caught and eaten).

    The trick to becoming a zombie is just to get bitten and then get away. There has to be a certain amount of mobility for that to happen. That's why there aren't any zombie babies, zombies in wheelchairs, etc. They all got completely eaten.
    I will repost my "Walmart and the Zombie Apocalypse" thread later this week.
  • Stacyplus5
    Stacyplus5 Posts: 493
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    I heard a rumor that Zombies poop Twinkies....
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    + Why are all the zombies so damn skinny? Is it true that zombie muscle weighs more than zombie fat?

    zombieland_fat(1).jpg

    Not all zombies are skinny. :tongue:
  • Wolf_
    Wolf_ Posts: 442
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    Found this on google LOL

    "Average human arm = about 3.216kg. that's with bones and blood vessels, which have little calorific value, so we'll say there's about 2.5 kg of meat and fat. if we say that there are as many calories in human flesh as in beef, then that's 850 calories per 100 grammes, so that's 25 times 850, that's 21250 kilocalories per arm. there."
    Thank you, Google. Thank you.
  • Wolf_
    Wolf_ Posts: 442
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    + Why are all the zombies so damn skinny? Is it true that zombie muscle weighs more than zombie fat?

    zombieland_fat(1).jpg

    Not all zombies are skinny. :tongue:
    Is it sad that the picture above was CLEARLY taken in a Walmart?
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    Has anybody here done Atkins? The Z diet is very low carb....
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
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    I heard a rumor that Zombies poop Twinkies....

    Well since hostess is no more we know this is but a rumor.
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    What was a Twinkie any how?
  • stormynytes4ever
    stormynytes4ever Posts: 60 Member
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    Found this on google LOL

    "Average human arm = about 3.216kg. that's with bones and blood vessels, which have little calorific value, so we'll say there's about 2.5 kg of meat and fat. if we say that there are as many calories in human flesh as in beef, then that's 850 calories per 100 grammes, so that's 25 times 850, that's 21250 kilocalories per arm. there."
    I'd love to know the first thing the homeland security agent thought when stumbling onto this particular search! Bahahaha!
  • emgracefit
    emgracefit Posts: 70 Member
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    Read the Zombie Survival Guide, it covers everything :)
  • Makoce
    Makoce Posts: 938 Member
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    Found this on google LOL

    "Average human arm = about 3.216kg. that's with bones and blood vessels, which have little calorific value, so we'll say there's about 2.5 kg of meat and fat. if we say that there are as many calories in human flesh as in beef, then that's 850 calories per 100 grammes, so that's 25 times 850, that's 21250 kilocalories per arm. there."
    I'd love to know the first thing the homeland security agent thought when stumbling onto this particular search! Bahahaha!

    Ahahhaa! Oh lord.
  • mcflat29
    mcflat29 Posts: 2,159 Member
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    As a proud member of Team Zombie for the Zombie Apocalypse Fitness Challenge...

    Yes, we poop... we do this weekly before check in to try to log the extra weight loss, but it really depends on who we ate as to how fast they process. That's why we like the athletic ones, less leakage and more filling for longer

    It is really hard to keep under calories, I mean, who can just stop after a hand?? Oh and Vegan/Vegetarian zombies are eating the grass, that's why the lawns look cut in Walking Dead...

    Water is easy, we sit in a well for a few hours, soak it up and move on...

    Logging exercise... Walking, slow pace, eternity... tada...

    Now, run, I'm starting to get hungry again.... :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :heart:
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    What was a Twinkie any how?
    Zombie poop. We already covered this. Now keep up!
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    What was a Twinkie any how?
    Zombie poop. We already covered this. Now keep up!

    :laugh:
  • JUDDDing
    JUDDDing Posts: 1,367 Member
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    + If all organ functions have shutdown within the zombies... where does the food go? Do zombies poop?

    Yeah, but they are on low carb - you poop much less on low carb.
    + How many glasses of water do the zombies drink a day? Are they sticklers for the "8 glass" rule? Do they count "human fluids from food?"

    Yeah, just human fluids.
    + Why are all the zombies so damn skinny?

    Not all of them are - remember the fat one from the well? Also, in the series - it's been months since the apocalypse. Zombie chow is getting more scarce.
    + Are there vegetarian / vegan zombies? Or are they all paleo?

    No vegetarian zombies... And I'm not sure human meat is proper paleo eating...
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
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    Only vegan zombies poop.
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    Here's my question. Zombies are corpses, most of the ones on Walking Dead seem to be on the first(out of 5) stages of decomposition. Okay, maybe second, some are a little bloated.
    How come the process stops there?? I mean really, in a few weeks time they should all liquify, and there you go: No more zombies!!
    Or skeleton zombies? I don't know.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    McFlat, you're looking WAY too skinny. Either you have a zombie eating disorder or you need to try harder to hit your BMEE. Get out there and look for some more food. You might try WalMart; I hear there are people holed up in there.Or head out to the country - if you get lucky someone might lock you in a barn and toss you some chickens. Stay away from folks with sharp objects, though.
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
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    What was a Twinkie any how?

    Really?
  • Wolf_
    Wolf_ Posts: 442
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    Here's my question. Zombies are corpses, most of the ones on Walking Dead seem to be on the first(out of 5) stages of decomposition. Okay, maybe second, some are a little bloated.
    How come the process stops there?? I mean really, in a few weeks time they should all liquify, and there you go: No more zombies!!
    Or skeleton zombies? I don't know.
    I know, right? WTF?

    Also... how is it that all of the zombies' naughty parts are always fully clothed?

    The dude zombies are often topless, yet there is not a single female zombie ta-ta in the mix?

    Why are zombies so sexist?

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