UNFAIR!! I'l probably get slated for this but here goes!

x_ZEST_x

Hey guys, I just want to get something off my chest. I know most on here are here to lose the weight and jump the hoops. I know how hard it is to stay focused and positive! One bad day can have you running for the comfort food right? But, I'm seeing someone who gives out support to all their friends and when I visit their profile page,..well, lets just say I've noticed that no-one seems to say anything positive back! My comments are still on top from the previous day!

Why is this?? Can we not just stop going on with the "ME ME ME" attitude? We all have busy lives and crap things going on I know, but, it takes ONE minute to say "good job" OR "you can do it" to keep someone on track and put that smile back on their face to let them know someone has their back!

Please lets support our friends in the right way. Not just to gain numbers, it's not facebook. I know I'm going to try harder.

❤ Thanks for listening and good luck with your own personal journey and stay positive because YOU CAN DO IT!! ❤

quirkytizzy

That can be rough.

Lately I've been having to force myself to get onto MFP and be supportive - even posting in the forums is difficult right now. There's a host of external reasons, but the truth is that I need to be there for my friends, too.

Good to be reminded of that. Thank you.

april1445

I don't know if I'm getting your message right, but I have dropped friends, and I keep the friends who I feel a connection with. Maybe that person needs better friends?

tekwriter

It is good to be reminded. I know I get wonderful support and try to give it also but sometimes I just don't. It is important for sure, there have been tons of times recently the only thing that kept me on track was knowing all of my friends out here were doing the same thing and I wanted to stay one of them. Good Post!

cicisiam

Great posture, if that is you in the picture. Nice peaceful picture as well. Have a Good Day! : 0 )

Wickedone1973

I have experienced this myself. Everyone wants encouragement, but rarely can they take the time to offer encouragement.

lizie72

I agree with you. I do make comment to my friends on mfp. I need all the support so I give it back. I think you doing a great job. Keep it up...

Energizer06

POSITIVE ATTITUDE = POSITIVE RESULTS

WE ALL HAVE A COMMON GOAL ON HERE....WHETHER IT BE TO GAIN OR LOSE WEIGHT....BUT THE COMMON GOAL IS TO LIVE A HEATHLY LIFE AND LIVE LONG WITHOUT THE FEAR OF VISITING THE HOSPITAL CONSTANTLY IN OUR SENIOR YEARS.

PEACE, LOVE. HEALTH

WISHING YOU THE BEST IN ACHEIVING YOUR GOALS

sam308lbs

Op you are awesome!! I have been here for 5 months now but still every "good job"/"Wtg" ppl write on my wall makes me very happy(i never thought i would be this needy ever lol).Support rocks and therefore i try and encourage others as much as i can

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

That can be rough.

Lately I've been having to force myself to get onto MFP and be supportive - even posting in the forums is difficult right now. There's a host of external reasons, but the truth is that I need to be there for my friends, too.

Good to be reminded of that. Thank you.

You're a great friend. Everyone is allowed a break from being supportive. I can't speak for the rest of your friends' list but I just want you to get to feeling better. And here's a pug to make you smile:




I'm pretty sure the OP is talking about friend collectors, not people who just need to sit things out for awhile for personal reasons.

rezn8

Well put. I am always trying post some positive notes for people. Sometimes it only takes a little encouragement to get them past that next hurdle.

rezn8

Love the pug!

neandermagnon

I think some people maybe don't realise they're getting messages on their feed. You get an email alert but you don't get one at the top of the screen like for messages or friend requests, and not everyone uses their main email address for joining forums so maybe they're not picking up the email notifcations. Or they're going into their spam folder or something. It's not necessarily the case they'r'e deliberately ignoring messages. Maybe they forgot to check their feed or something.

tndejong

you are right! my problem is i added too many friends! so sometimes its hard to go through every post for the day. i stopped commenting on the exercise posts and the completed diaries. but if they are posting self written comments, i do try. and if they post any weight loss i try to comment.

Lrdoflamancha

Thanks, I needed that kick in the butt.

healthyheartRN

I agree, I just deleted the friends I had, and withdrew from two groups because of the same reason. I don't have any bad feelings over it, just realized I'm doing fine on my own so why get wrapped up in all the drama and hoopla. I RARELY got any feedback. So I will be the support I need.

ayanna32

Your absolutely right, funny thing is I read this after I went through my feed to give a pat on the back to my friends. I do give them support but I could do so more often.

newdaydawning79

I know I comment to every single person on my friends list...sometimes I hear back from a lot of them, sometimes not. I try not to let it get to me either way. I just love being here and motivating people and being motivated by their successes!

skinnyinnotime

There's someone on my FL who regularly puts status's about deleting people that are not interacting with him. The joke is this person had never ONCE commented on my wall...I have stopped bothering to comment now.

What a hypocrite, in fact it reminds me of a huge proportion of people...they expect so much but give so little in return.

sillyli234

To tell you the truth, it really bothers me when people only say "Good job" or "WTG"... I'd like to be called out on any issues I would have in my food diary and for people to actually offer advice when I ask about weight lifting issues. Sure it is nice to say nice little comments here and there, but it is overall not very helpful.

BobbieFromBunn

Great post I just started here and I know it would make me feel good to have a little encouragement. I will make sure to do the same for others. Have a blessed day

newdaydawning79

To tell you the truth, it really bothers me when people only say "Good job" or "WTG"... I'd like to be called out on any issues I would have in my food diary and for people to actually offer advice when I ask about weight lifting issues. Sure it is nice to say nice little comments here and there, but it is overall not very helpful.

Everyone's different on that end I think. Some get really really irritated when an issue gets pointed out. Some love the feedback. But you don't know until you try that's for sure!

fataalic

I often go and comment on the statuses of those people that don't get any comments, and I am more likely to comment on those, than the ones that get a lot of comments.
Some of my friends get like 17 comments on each post, and my first thought is, OK this person has enough encouragement and support, let's find someone who did not get any comments.
Am I bad for thinking this way?

OddballExtreme

I try my best NOT to add too many friends. I'm happy to say I only have 52, and all of them post something. I do respond back as often as I can, particularly for weight loss and days logged in.

sunsnstatheart

That can be rough.

Lately I've been having to force myself to get onto MFP and be supportive - even posting in the forums is difficult right now. There's a host of external reasons, but the truth is that I need to be there for my friends, too.

Good to be reminded of that. Thank you.

You're a great friend. Everyone is allowed a break from being supportive. I can't speak for the rest of your friends' list but I just want you to get to feeling better. And here's a pug to make you smile:




I'm pretty sure the OP is talking about friend collectors, not people who just need to sit things out for awhile for personal reasons.

Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.

karakreature

I've experienced this myself. There are about 6-10 people that comment on my post out of almost 40. Probably 3-6 on a regular basis. I comment on every single one of my friends posts. I go back to the last post I commented on and work my way up. It frustrates me that I don't get the same thing back from some people. It literally takes me about 5 mins or so to do this. But I look at it like this, being positive towards someone else makes my day better. It helps me stay positive. So, while I wish others would comment more, if I can make someone's day a little brighter, great. Feel free to add me if any of you would like. :happy:

jwhitch

I agree with you. If you have friends because you want encouragement and support then you need to be prepared to give it back. I keep my friends list small and I try to comment on each & every one every day. If I don't receive any feedback after a certain period of time then I delete them. I also delete people that haven't been on the site logging in, but I don't usually do that until after I've sent them a message to see how they are doing. No response, then I remove them. It takes time & commitment to lose weight and it takes time & commitment to provide support. There are a lot of wonderful people here and I've got a great group of friends that proves it.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Nice pug! It's easy enough to avoid friend collectors. Then again, some people motivate each other in other ways. Not everyone can walk through their FR every morning and give "atta girls." Some do, some don't, and some of my most caustically sarcastic friends are also among the most motivational. I like the sentiment though.

True-- I have to smirk a bit every time someone says "we're all here for the same reason" because we clearly aren't.

I guess the take away is that there are enough people here for everyone to be able to find the kind of friends they want. I have a mixture and I'm fine with that. Different friends offer support in different ways.

Lifting_Knitter

Thanks for reminding me, I have been busy the past few days and need to start up again. :flowerforyou:

iAMsmiling

I frequently comment on milestones, but more often respond to specific concerns people in my FL express.

I try to be supportive in all things, but personally, I don't get much out of the "yay you!" sort of comment. Yea, I had a great workout this morning. I have one pretty much every morning. There's no need to congratulate me on something I consider to be a basic requirement for my goals.

In any case, your best bet is to delete people and add people. Eventually, you'll end up with a FL of compatible folks.

sunnyside1213

you are right! my problem is i added too many friends! so sometimes its hard to go through every post for the day. i stopped commenting on the exercise posts and the completed diaries. but if they are posting self written comments, i do try. and if they post any weight loss i try to comment.

This is me.